before standing up out of any chair/toilet/couch you think, “ok, EXPLODE OUT OF THE HOLE!”
When you’ve installed a power rack around your toilet just to be more comfortable in that position.
Your girlfriend invites you over for dinner and sex at her second floor apartment. You’re hungry. You’re horny. But you decline because her building elevator is out of order.
When the superintendant of your girlfriend’s building puts up out-of-order signs just to keep you from using it.
When a baseball thrown near you goes into orbit around you.
When you’ve worn a trench between the power rack and the gym bathroom, and people are starting to fall into it.
When you can only put on your shoes using a shoe horn that’s taller than you were in junior high.
When you attach your toothbrush and comb to yardsticks so you can use them.
When your upper lats and lower abs are no longer in the same zip code.
When your accountant suggests that you might be able to declare your gut as a dependant.
When your massage therapist uses a GPS device to navigate while working on your back, or leaves a trail of breadcrumbs.
When your preworkout meals are served in a feedbag.
When your grunts are understood by your workout partners and by bears and oxen.
When your wife refers to your leg muscles as total eclipses of your feet.
When you’re barred from swimming in lakes to prevent further damage to the ecosystem.
When Al Gore places you on his list of causes for global warming.
When the dimensions of your back can be seen from in front of you, and the dimensions of your front can be seen from orbit.
When the odor of chalk in the morning smells like victory.
When the body builders no longer fear you because they know that you could never catch them.
When your wife lets you drive half of the time in order to insure even side to side wear on tires and suspension.
When the body builders in your gym keep some of the bars hidden from you to prevent having you bend them.
When you take a viagra pill, but you can’t tell if it’s working without the aid of a mirror.
When your tatoos have expanded, turning your goldfish into a whale and your tweety bird into a condor.
When someone standing behind you wants to get your attention but calls you on your cell phone to avoid the walk around you.
When someone has to hold the cell phone up to your head so you can take that call.
When your wife is using your chalk on her legs to lessen the saddle sores.
When chalk suppliers are sending you holiday cards.
When the lint in your belly button is entombed within a fist sized chunk of pressure hardened chalk.
When PL equipment sellers are bidding for advertising space on your back and thighs.
When all-you-can-eat restaurants put up closed signs as you park.
When you celebrate when the gym staff refill the chalk bowl.
The gym owner buys a new bar, and first you rejoice, then you wonder how long its gonna be till you bend it.
You baby powder your thighs so they don’t rub together as bad and crush your balls.
You cant wait till weigh in is over so you can hit up an all you can eat buffet on the way back to the hotel, but you have to stop halfway from the buffet because you need a snack.
On another note…
My gut isnt really that big, but i swear it is hard as hell to get my shoes on! If only i could leave my work boots untied…
And I need to buy all new pairs of pants because they are all turning into skinny jeans. My nuts hate me!
Brauny: Levis 569s. Only way to go.
When you have to go up a waist size in pants just to get the thighs to fit
When you get really …and i mean really pisss when someone grabs or touch the bar to “help you” when your about to break a pr…
When you need the window to be open and the fan on to sleep… in the winter.
You only use the car heater to make weight for meets.
You swear your XL t-shirts must have shrunk in the wash, cause there is no way they are that small.
You give up on jeans, and stick to sweat pants and shorts.
You wipe your ass from between your legs cause the cramps in your lats are so bad.
The massage therapists takes time off before and after your scheduled massage to get ready/be recovered.
You leave a new chiropractors office when you realized he is under 200 pounds.
You BMI said your obese and you cant get good health insurance.
The bodybuilders at the expo dont like taking pictures with you cause you make them look small.
At the Arnold classic you walked right past all the IFBB pros to get an autograph of Matt “Kroc”
You need a break every half hour from mowing the lawn cause you back is killing you.
You were up all night puking on your deathbead so you decide to make today a speed day.
Youve had several near death experiences by missing one of the hooks on the monolift.
You eat so much at the buffet before your meet that you can hardly see cause your face is so bloated.
You should never be allowed a cheat meal on a diet since you can consume 20,000 calories on site.
--- all real life examples. lol
You get lower back pumps 24 hours a day.
When you think bodybuilder’s and gym noobs’ have a decent workout plan… once you reverse the sets and reps
[quote]legacyfighter wrote:
When you think bodybuilder’s and gym noobs’ have a decent workout plan… once you reverse the sets and reps[/quote]
And we have a winner!!!
When one of your training partner has no shame in telling you that he shit himself… reaching for a bag of peanut M&M’s.
When you smash your dad in the face from drinkin too much Green Tea !!!
[quote]WS4JB wrote:
You look down at your hand after a workout and arent sure if its chalk or Surge/protein powder on your hand.
You give it a lick anyway.
–JB[/quote]
hahahaha I like this one.
[quote]legacyfighter wrote:
When you think bodybuilder’s and gym noobs’ have a decent workout plan… once you reverse the sets and reps[/quote]
Hahahaha
When you break out in a sweat from carrying your gym bag.
Need a snack after warm ups.
Constantly have to explain why you have so many broken blood vessels.
BB
[quote]robo1 wrote:
…when you own more polyester suits than Disco Stu
…whenyou stock up on Pedialyte even though you don’t have kids
…when your wife asks if you liked the dinner she cooked, you respond by giving her 3 white lights
…when you eat during your workout
…when u consider high reps to be anything above 4
…when you are constantly looking for a gym bag big enough to store all your gear
[/quote]
Haha love them all
When you steal the baby powder off of the diaper changing table in public restrooms.
When your HD Flip webcam is covered in chalk.
You know you are a lifter when you say “I am getting some food”, and the response from those around you are: “Again?”.