*Lost a small, but important part of my soul at a baby shower yesterday. Hanging with my old college friends always makes me feel like I’m ‘less’ because i didn’t do the college, get a job, get a husband, buy a house, have a kid, buy a mini-van route. For a brief moment I let it get me down, then I realized that I’m actually quite happy with my life, the fact that I can waste a day doing whatever I want…and the fact that the word ‘hemorrhage’ has never crossed my lips, in relation to myself.
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lula, I look at this situation from the perspective of an almost-47 year old married to a divorce lawyer (and I’ve done my share of those myself). Many of those friends of yours picked a husband and had the kids and got the mini-van life they THOUGHT they wanted. Why did they think they wanted that? Because of social norms/peer pressure/societal expectations. Just about 50% of them will likely get divorced and be single moms before they hit my age.
Why?
Because either they or their husbands will get bored with that life, which they picked too young and for the wrong reasons, and there will be affairs and recriminations and sad times. Oh, and trust me. What appears on the surface rarely reflects what is going on underneath.
You strike me as someone who isn’t a lemming and makes her own decisions about things. This often means you find yourself the lone wolf. That’s hard, but living a life that isn’t authentic to you is way harder.
Speaking as someone who never wanted to do the whole kids thing, I have absolutely no regrets, none. I didn’t think I even liked kids much but now that I’m teaching I find they’re actually pretty awesome. But I get to give them back at the end of the day and can do what I want without feeling guilty about spending all my time doing what I want or worrying about whether I can afford to get little Johnny a new pair of shoes this month. Yeah, I’m pretty happy with that.
Be careful with that knee, eh? If deads bother it, don’t do them until you’ve fixed the issue. Roll that TFL and ITB like a mutha.
Lula: I’ve found my sciatica pain to be highly variable. In a day I can go from, I’m better to I’m back where I started at. But, the good news for me is that I have found a way to manage it and I can stop the pain and get my range of motion back by a shit ton of stretching and corrective work…
yeah. a lot of my friends are just starting to get married. a whole spate of them. married a bit later in life by most peoples standards (early-mid thirties) but getting married they are… i can’t really see that in my future. feeling a bit self-conscious that i’ll be hitting my mid-thirties soon… i’ll probably never have kids.
on the one hand i do feel a bit sad. like i’m missing out on something important in life.
on the other hand i feel like there is still time. only need to meet 1 person.
and… i’m not entirely sure that i want any of that stuff anyway. i really value my freedom and alone time. tis hard…
Kimba-thank you for that, really. I even went ahead and wrote your comments into my own personal journal, so thank you. Workout log aside, my favorite thing about this site is the different perspectives that people provide.
And I used to refer to it as the ‘cheese stands alone’ syndrome, but lone wolf sounds so much better
Snap: I am beginning to learn this, and find myself suspect of the couples who are always so on all the time. I blame Facebook for this, people can put up pictures of a happy family and statuses that make you feel like they’re just like the Cleaver’s , when what’s really going on there is so different.
Cal: See, I do want that stuff, just not with some ex-frat boy who never really moved out of the frat house.
Nadia; How right on with your comment. I woke up yesterday and felt great! Then for no reason (i completely behaved yesterday), this morning I’m back to popping pills. Meh.
Alexus: They do seem to go in waves, huh? I have 9 (!) friends/relatives who are pregnant right now, it’s madness. About missing out on something… I’m of the belief that if that ‘desire’ is instilled in you, then it will happen, in one form or another. Until then, we’re not gaining baby weight, and every time I look in your log you’re throwing 'round PRs
“Discipline is remembering what you want.” -David Campbell
Deloadin’:
BB warm up
bent row
SLDL
Clean
FS
Press
MP
45x5
55x5
65x5
Squat
95x5
105x5
115x5
Bench
Barx5
55x5
65x5
Accessory 5x10
DB Row
Incline DB Press
High step ups
Wide gripped pull ups
Cable diaganols
Pronated curls
Anti-rotation abz
Spin tabata
Bike 10 min
Foam
*Forced myself to take it easy, feeling ready to add weight next week
*Unracked the weight with feet together, going to take some time to get out of the split stance habit (i blame 18 years on the balance beam for that)
*ho hum
Belated well done for resisting the urge to add weight. It always feels nice to load up the next week. It felt funny for me to unrack squats without using the split stance for awhile too. It definitely gives you a better feeling of control when the weight gets heavier to do it ‘right’ though. nod
I’ve been to 3 weddings and 2 baby showers this semester. I’m with you on the wanting but wanting it with a fellow adult. A lot of my friend have husbands they treat like children.
Kris-Of COURSE shenanigans ensued. I owe it to all that is right in the world to get up to no good halloween weekend. BUT, I can tell you I wasn’t the slutty devil doing the walk of shame this morning. (that girl is most likely loving life right now and googling “effectiveness of the pull-out method.”)
Patch-No wonder you’re working your tail off…3 weddings and 2 showers=lotsa $$$! I have friends with similar relationships. Dunno, call of the douche dong proves too strong I guess
5-3-1 starting tomorrow-so I feel the need for goal realignment:
short term:
-My brother’s wedding is in 3 weeks, and even though the dress leaves plenty to the imagination, I want the parts of me that do show to look bangin. So, no booze til then. Keep going with the carb cycling, cutting back a bit on the amounts. I’m taking progress pics tomorrow, since the scale and I are still fighting.
By 2012
*Deadlift- 200 x 1
*Squat-225 x 3
*Press-100 x3
*Pull ups-10x3 (I made this goal way back when, and never specified how much rest between sets…?)
I love your inclination to goal set over the last 2 months of the year! Very nice. And I’m pretty sure from your videos every part of you has already surpassed banging status…
Nadia-thanks. I’m still new to this game so I feel that the more I do, the more I realize what I am able (or not able) to do. And thanks, I think you are quite bangable yourself.
And oh! I found a gym that has adult open gym-so I’m going to bring up some leotards this weekend and check it out. Better start stretching out the abz!
Kimba-progress pics didn’t happen this morning (soon!)…and I usually end up deleting them right away anyway so they may not end up on here. But! I have videos to keep you satisfied in the meantime.
Training:
Barbell warm up
Cleans:
60x5
70x5
80x10
Deads:
120x5
140x5
160x8
5x10:
Trap bar DL 135#
High Step Ups
Pull Through 108#
Air humps
Hill sprints-a bunch (15-20?) until they got ugly, then a couple more
Cleans:
*Adding these to the 5/3/1 mix on pulling days
*These were all sorts of a mess!!! I can’t figure out if I’m meant to land deeper like a front squat, or if I land taller. Interwebz can’t seem to decide. I’m going to see my oly-guru friend tonight for some help. You can check out the massacre below.
Deads:
*I’m over thinking this. My sequencing felt off. I think I’m arching too much at the bottom and I’m pulling too much from my back.
*I’m getting too antsy about moving my numbers up on these and need to just be patient, stick to the plan. (patience-not a virtue I possess)
Goals:
*Ha! I realized I totally left off any sort of bench goal. I need to suck it up and stop treating bench like the creepy uncle you have to invite to Thanksgiving regardless of the fact that he hugs a little too long and hogs all the stuffing. SO:
BW Bench (135#)-I’m not sure what’s a realistic time-frame on this is…??
Oh Lula! I’m so excited you’re going to do gymnastics again! And I look forward to your vids for inspiration. I still can’t figure out what I want to accomplish there. I think perfecting the basics is where I am at. Right now I’m on a mission to improve my jumps and leaps–dynamic flexibility is where it is at.
Nads-I’m excited too! Hopefully I can do something worthy of a video.
Speaking of videos:
FUCK! this page is a HUGE FAIL! I’m a mess today. I have a million and one excuses if you’d like them. But (!) I believe I’ve got it figured out. If the kid who Dougied into a moving vehicle can do it, surely I can too.
First is this morning’s cleans and deads
And the cleans-compliments of my awesome friend andy
I did notice on your cleans that the majority of your weight seems to start in the ball of your foot. Could be a reason why you’re jumping back a little instead of straight up. It’s always hard when you’re not using the big plates to judge distance. Looks like an easy weight for you to pull. As for where you should be landing, I’m way too new at the olympic lifts to say anything about that.
Someone with more cleaning knowledge than I have will come along sooner or later, but in the meantime: It looks like you’re not going into full extension at the hip/knee/ankle on most of your reps. You’re also pulling a fuzz too early with the arms on some reps. As for where you catch it I think the heavier the weight the more you’ll want to drop to catch it, so that you don’t have to move the bar as far upwards. That weight is a toy for you so you can catch it wherever you want. Your elbow flip is good, drive those suckers up.
Deadlifts: I think your arch in the bottom is just fine, and by and large your hips and shoulders are coming up at the same speed. What it looks like might be happening is that you’re pulling straight up vs. up and back, and so using your lower back to finish instead of your hips. Hard to tell from that (very fine otherwise) angle, but I suspicion there’s some of that going on. When I’m doing a set with more than two or three reps I like to take a quick second to reset between reps, speed read down my cues list, and pull the next rep. Your fifth rep in that set looks the best to me. Try taking an extra half-second or so of pulling the slack out of the bar/sitting back before you start, see if that helps. Squeeeeze those glutes and shove the hips forward.
Those are my amateur observations, do with them what you will. The videos, they do make us happy. grin
p.s. Nice lifting outfit coordination.
p.p.s. If you need me to talk gym etiquette with that gentleman who walks RIGHT BEHIND YOU when you’re about to pull I will. nod
