[quote]Unknown0 wrote:
I’ve been on this site for years trying to follow the advice given in order to suceed at my passion which is bodybuilding, but now i’m beginning to think i’ll never get anywhere with the shit genetics I have. Time after time i’ve failed at everything; making friends,sports,girls, I was a loser in high school and still am due to my lack of success at anything, now that I’ve realized i have horrible genetics for something I’m so passionate about, I just don’t want to go on living anymore, since I feel that I really am a loser for not being able to attain my physique and strength goals due to naturally low test levels and genetics.
Bodybuilding means everything to me, its the only thing thats ever given me even the slightest bit of confidence and reason for living. Growing up I’ve been bullied and been dominated at every point, I’ve never been aggressive and always felt like a coward. I thought bodybuilding would change all that, but nothings changed I’ve only succeeded in getting fatter with small strength gains that come along with every 3-4 lbs I put on, while suffering from depression.
I just hate myself for not having the kind genetics that can help me become the kind of person I want to become physically and mentally strong and aggressive when I need to be while be going confident around women. I just can’t bring myself to do anything anymore, I went into this sport because I figured if I was doomed to be anti-social and awkward around others the least I could do was just make myself bigger and stronger so no one would push me around like they did back in high school, I even went so far as to put my post-secondary education on hold just so i could eat and weight lift while going to work only twice a week, but I’ve still failed[/quote]
I know you don’t want to hear this, but the root of your problem is that you’ve chosen the wrong goal in life. If you don’t have the genetic potential to be a great bodybuilder, which MOST people don’t regardless of what others on here mistakenly believe, then you shouldn’t make bodybuilding the focal point of your existence so that your degree of satisfaction in life is a function of how big your muscles are. Of course you should keep training hard, and develop the best physique possible realtive to YOUR genetic potential, but you have to define yourself in other terms. I’m not endorsing complacency, but realism. You’ve zeroed in on one thing and closed yourself off to everything else in life. You might even be disgusted with the idea of focusing on a career which has nothing to do with bodybuilding. That’s your mistake - sacrificing your potential successes in order to fully dedicate youself to the cause of certain failure.
From what you wrote, it seems that you’re still living with your parents. If so, whether you realize it or not, your irresponsible, adolescent lifestyle and lack of independence and productivity are major causes of your self-esteem issues. Physical strength is imprtant, but the real essences of mahood are independence, productive ability and economic strength. You should throw yourself into productive WORK and the cause of establishing yourself as a man. You can still be dedicated to training. There is no reason to entertain the idea of killing yourself, you just need a major change of perspective and philosophical overhaul. You could have a hell of a life in 5 years time, once that includes, but is not solely defined by bodybuilding, and probably a better than average physique too.