Had a little tightness in the extreme lower back when getting out of bed. Thought, “I’m really going to have to warm up today.” Got to the gym and pulled a 45 off the rack and nearly had tears streaming down my face. Tried to put the weight back on the rack and ended up setting it on a bench and leaving. Fuck. It’s right around my tail bone. I have some 550 mg naproxen that I’m going to be popping like tic-tacs.
Lower back still tight and painful. Getting better, but I’m not going to push it too fast. Down 34.8 lbs. in 9 weeks. Not working out made the dieting a lot harder last week.
Bench 225 3x10 (had to flat-back it. back wouldn’t let me arch at all)
Machine Fly 90 3x10
Machine Overhead Ext 205 3x10
Rope Pushdowns 11x10 11x8 11x8
Plank
Weight 225.6. 40.2 lbs down since May 21st. Will take updated pictures soon.
I’m a fucking wreck. Went to marriage counseling yesterday thinking we were going to work things out. Instead I got blindsided with her saying it’s over and she wants a divorce. We’ve been married 13 years. Have never tried counseling.
I don’t beat her. I don’t verbally abuse her. I don’t drink. I don’t do drugs. I’ve never cheated on her. I’m a damn good father. And I love her more than anything. My big sin is that I’m bipolar. I’m med compliant. Have never missed a pill in 5 years. I haven’t been manic in maybe 5 years, but I do get depressed from time to time. She can’t handle the way I am when I’m depressed. That’s it.
What double sucks is that we left Texas a year and a half ago to move to Indiana to be closer to her family. I’ve got no one here besides my son. I’ve run the numbers a million times in the 24 hours since this happened and I don’t think I can afford to live here. Which means possibly leaving my son to move back to Texas. Like I said, I’m a wreck.