I have just seen personal animosity derail what was a good thread.
I hope you are right.
Back in California, back on the bike, back to no gym. Iâve been riding into town for groceries. It is about seven miles round trip. I have panniers.
Itâs been raining the last few days so I havenât been in to get groceries. Could have gone today but just wasnât up for it. I wanted to read and meditate - been into this Vipassana stuff of late and I like it.
So I broke down and ordered groceries for delivery. It felt indulgent and booshie.
It cost me $3.95 for delivery. Being from NY, I of course tipped the delivery driver, so almost $20 to get what would have taken me two trips to town to schlep back to my cabin.
I saved at least three hours of riding and shopping and paid $20.
Why do I feel wasteful?
Got on the scale for the first time in a few weeks, still 190. I think I have found my baseline. Now to increase LBM or to reduce weight, not sure which.
Became a target in another thread, perhaps rightfully so, perhaps not. I tried to de-escalate, but was unsuccessful.
I managed to not snap, so am encouraged.
Perhaps this Vipassana works.
We will see.
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I donât know if thats a net positive or negative.
I rode to & fro a whole lot when I lost my license for 4 years to duiâs. Scrapped my car and used the cash to go buy a mountain bike.
Got into incredible shape using the âall you can fit into a backpack and ride home withâ method.
Of course, that was 27-31 year old me.
The me now would definitely order for delivery.
Itâs a net positive because it is not my default. Itâs cold and dark here in the winter and trying to dodge rain to get food is a bit stressful, so knowing I can just go on the store app and reorder all of the things I buy and have it delivered is nice.
I still ride into town on the regular. I have a favorite meeting I attend.
Itâs kind of funny tbh - I can drive in every state but California, but I have to live here to finish DUI classes. I have a Yukon parked at my parentâs house in Oregon, and I can stay with them, and all of my classes are actually online, so, why do I stay here?
The saddle bags are a godsend. I can get thirty beers in them . . JK - I can get $100 of groceries in them. Of course, in a beach town in California, thatâs two chicken thighs and a loaf of bread.
While I weigh 190, my body fat has dropped to 16% (BIA, take it for what itâs worth), a function of the bike.
I saved two gallons of milk that I drank, filled them up with water, and do curls, tricep extensions, laterals, etc⊠with them in addition to pushups and sit ups. I am as lean as I have ever been with the exception of the last time I was stuck on a bike for a year and was hardcore in the gym when I got to 13% at 185.
All good brother.
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It does sound nice. Very simple, quiet, needs are met easily, wants are few & far between. 
An uncluttered life!
I have been posting on TikTok, more as a journal for myself. Very few views, just for fun.
I started with the Four Noble Truths, then the Eightfold Path, and have been doing the Tao by Lao Tzu lately. Today was Verse Ten - about being empty. A bowl creates space for emptiness, walls create a room for space, a window frames a view - nothingness.
John Kabat-Zinn says we are human beings, not human doings.
Needs are met. All we need is within. Enough is enough.
I have a roof, a bed, a bike, food, some heat (wood stove and it is cold AF).
Uncluttered.
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The interesting thing is that this is how my parents live while sitting on several million dollars that my brother left.
He passed in 2001 and they have not only not touched the equity, they have actually paid taxes on the distributions out of their meager Social Security and pension, reinvesting all of the dividends.
I admire how they live and hope to emulate it. I have a pension as well, so am self sufficient. If, when, I inherit, I hope to continue to grow that nest egg.
My other brother, who I have no contact with, has managed to win the game and is sitting on a significant amount of wealth as well. He has no kids. His wealth will go to my kids.
They do not know that. My daughter is a Junior in college, taking loans, working hard.
My son is a Senior in HS, waiting out the acceptance process. He has been accepted at four schools, waitlisted at one, and still waiting on hearing from his first choice.
Neither of them know that they will be wealthy.
I doubt the wealth will change them.
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Probably for the better. Knowing it and not having it can be a big distraction and lead to immense disappointment.
Iâve watched a few people live the better part of their lives waiting for someone to die so that they could âget theirsâ.
The only thing they got was the title Vulture, and an incredibly disappointing settlement check.
Imagine living a big chunk of your life thinking that when x yâs z, everything will be better and all of my problems will be solved! Then finding out very quickly how untrue that actually was.
I struggle with this.
I am sixty, have a pension, have a 403(b), will collect Social Security, have equity in a home, I am good.
When my parents pass, I will inherit some dough. I donât want it.
I will, of course, take it, and invest it, and hold it. But, my brother that made the initial money, cut his own hair, lived in a small two bedroom home, drove a Mazda Pickup.
My parents have just held it, intelligently, and lived off of their own money.
We are, for the most part, white trash. Happy with milk, eggs, and bread. My brother that passed was really smart, Stanford, Med School, invested well, left some money when he passed in 2001.
My oldest brother was homeless, depressed, alcoholic. Somehow managed to rally himself and is now worth three times what my parents are holding.
But, he lives on thirty five acres, drives a giant diesel truck, has fifteen guns, ten thousand rounds of ammo, talks loud, has Ferraris and Porsches, letâs everyone know how much money he has.
And, he canât wait for our parents to die so he can get his hands on his little brotherâs money (our middle brother) to add to his wealth.
The oldest brother, letâs just call him Asshole, has no kids. The middle brother, Eraser, had no kids.
The Asshole has made it clear that he will leave all of his money to my kids - but always strings, wanting to control things.
I told him, hey, why donât you just let mom and dad leave all of it to me and mine and call it good.
Negative.
First world problems, lol.
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I like the book âDao De Jing in Clear Englishâ by Jeff Pepper and Xiao Hui Wang. Itâs in interlinear translation with the original, a literal character-by-character translation, grammar notes, and the English translation. Leaves most of the interpretation to the reader, rather than making those decisions for you.
Have you run across Damo Mitchell or his school Lotus Neigong? Heâs British and fairly irreverent and entertaining in his presentation but absolutely serious when it comes to the important things. Heâs a lineage holder for a Quanzhen Daoist lineage. He has a podcast and some videos on youtube if you want to check him out.
Well, see, this is why I puke on the page.
All of what you write about is new to me. I am but a babe in the woods.
I have been reading Dyerâs book, Change Your Thoughts Change Your Life.
He provides a verse (translation), then interprets it as if you are stupid, and applies it to life. I really like it.
Combine that with Mindfulness in Plain English by Bhante Gunaratana, and whoa - good stuff.
The Mindfulness book is actually what woke me. Itâs mostly Vipassana meditation, if you are familiar with that. I always assume others arenât and explain, only to find out they are well aware and I look like a jerk for explaining.
I think Dyer provides the interpretation, as opposed to Pepper and Wang. I typically read the verse and come to my own conclusions before reading Dyerâs explanation.
I assume there are different translations from the original Pali? Sanskrit? I am not sure which translation Dyer is using.
The tropes and themes repeat, obviously - I posted on Verse Ten today. âCarrying body and soul and embracing the one, can you avoid separation?â
How deep is that?
I got a body, I like it. I like how it feels, how it works, I like lifting, eating, all of the sensual things, but . . . I got a soul too.
How to balance those? Keep one foot in the sensual world, keep one in the soulful world, the world of nothingness, of watching, detached, not suffering.
Sorry for the digression, I am sure Holden Caufield would be pissed.
Thanks for posting up, for hipping me to new stuff!
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@SkyzykS you like Jeselnik. He is a twisted fuck.
Was I wrong?
I do! Heâs like the little brother I never had. 
And fellow Yinzer!
You watching this shit show in the body count thread?
I need to come to Pittsburgh, get some Primantis.
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Peripherally.
I wouldnât worry about it. The mods are pretty sharp and judicious.
Tempest in a teacup.
I was in Texas last week, ate at Whatburger five times. My son and I have been burger boys, but he is into chicken now. They just opened a Chik Fil A near my house (Long Island, donât live there, own a part of the house) and a Raising Canes.
I ate In-n-Out and Raising Canes five times in AZ. Mainly so I could talk to my boy about it.
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Welp, that was interesting.
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I actually wouldnât mind an explanation. I have some familiarity, but not much, and it always helps to see someone elseâs understanding of a thing.
Itâs classical Chinese. Itâs interesting, itâs not just about the translation, but also about which version of the DDJ. There was a recent-ish (in relative terms) discovery of an older version at Mawangdui, and there are some notable differences even in the first verse. But most translations use the other version.
In my little bit of classical chinese learning, I was exposed to the Mawangdui version too. It was interesting to see how interpretations could change depending on which you saw first.
I always thought this daoist view made more sense than the buddhist views. Donât deny the body, but acknowledge it.
Train the body and train the mind to train the soul and spirit, something something, end up reuniting with the original spirit and uniting with Dao. The book âA Comprehensive Guide to Daoist Nei Gongâ probably goes far deeper into it than youâll ever want to know.
I just took photos from the Pepper/Wang book of verse 10. I hope the extra space it takes up isnât unwelcome.
