You have to remember that I was originally a UK hobbit that moved there. Seems like most Aussies are giants too.
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Don’t forget that sports are now a career and people are forcing their kids to specialize at a young age. A smart person would find the sport that fits their genetics the best and go for it. The reason I didn’t say smart parent is that I think kids should do everything and choose for themselves when it’s time to go to college.
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I could not like this post enough so I am now manually liking it too
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I’m so against this it hurts
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I committed to play college baseball in the fall of my senior year. I finished the football season and played basketball after that moment. My college-to-be never said a word about taking it easy or focusing on baseball. I even snubbed a knee surgery because it would’ve caused me to miss my senior year of basketball.
Each sport has its own contributions to physical development. Some offer straight line speed. Some offer lateral speed and change of direction. Some offer using your physical strength to move another human (or get moved if you’re the weaker one).
All of them are awesome and any coach who wants you to quit a sport to focus on one is an idiot.
Sadly, the masses have accepted club sports and there aren’t many options for kids. I remember playing soccer, basketball, and baseball in my home town. I started all of these prior to 3rd grade. League was competitive and only lasted about eight weeks. My opponents were basically the same kids all year, but we competed in different sports. I wish I could find that for my kids. Unfortunately, it seems like my choices are non-competitive or sell-your-soul club sports.
There is data to show parents that specialization leads to burnout at a young age. I keep waiting for everyone to wake up and start pushing for the experience I had as a kid.
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Does this also apply if children are the ones seeking to specialize without the input/pressure of parents?
Plenty of fatass wannabe football star-fathers push their sons too hard to fulfill their own failures - and those kids often end up as bullies and peak before their 20s. This is a well known trope; just curious if this applies to hella motivated kids that do it on their own.
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It’s hard to know. Do kids really know what they want to do? What age does this apply? I also wonder if it’s the same as the chicken or the egg argument?
Why would a kid want to specialize and who told him/her it was a good idea? Choosing to play one sport can mean different things, too. Playing baseball every summer and taking the rest of the year off is much different than playing baseball year round.
I found an article from 2016 that says 70% of kids quit sports by 13. I found another one from 2019 that says the average kid quits sports at 11. Why does this happen?
“It’s not fun anymore.” The first article speculated that 13 is the age where high school is looming and being competitive exceeds playing for fun.
I still like to play sports. I had multiple college options (different levels for different sports). As I said above, I committed to pitch at a D1 college in the fall of my senior year. My summer baseball team was playing fall ball during football season. To be honest, I hated it. I skipped several weekends due to being beat up from Friday night football games. The few times I played fall ball, I found myself standing on the field thinking “what the hell am I doing here? This sucks.” At the end of the day, athletes need a break.
The club teams don’t take a break. It’s (fill-in-the-sport-here) year round. My college team didn’t touch a baseball from Halloween through early January. The high school team at my school last year didn’t even take that break.
A kid can play a sport for the “season” and then train for that sport off the field/court. They could lift, run, work on conditioning, etc. I would personally prefer to work on those skills while playing a game. Competing in another sport is a lot more fun than working on similar skills in the gym. That’s why I still play basketball - it beats the heck out of running for cardio!
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I am same page with you on everything @Frank_C. I’ll also add there’s quite a bit of orthopedic data showing early sports specialization results in higher rates of injuries requiring surgical repair.
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I’m sorry I haven’t been in here, my friends; I got sick as a dog all week and I seem to find my log the most boring place on this forum. I do genuinely appreciate your thoughts on youth sports @Frank_C; not simply because I agree with everything and I’m so narcissistic I need that validation, but also because you’re both a former competitive athlete yourself and a current educator. Please always keep that coming - raising kids today is incredibly challenging, so I appreciate all thoughts there.
My quick rundowns:
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I started at a new company (again) Monday. I had no intention of doing this; I liked my last company. Prior to the last couple years, I’d only ever worked at the army and one large corporation. So far, though, this team has lived up to every promise they made when recruiting me and I think this was one of my very few smart decisions.
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Being sick is amazing for weight loss! I’m not down to my playing weight, but that was a solid 6 lbs. kickstart. A couple pounds will rebound, though.
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My wife’s gym (not hers, but where she’s working) is about to open on November 1. They love her there and the concept is incredible: it’s a hotel, sports complex (for traveling teams), exhibit hall, gym, restaurants all in one spot. I’m very excited for what it brings the town that needs it in terms of economy and employment.
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@simo74 I think we may be in similar scenarios with our boys, which is why I wanted to ask questions on your path but wanted to be respectful. The pediatrician talked me into starting some very low dose medication with the idea that it would take enough of an edge off that he could get more out of the other avenues (exercise, social groups, etc.). I’ve gotten to where I think maybe not doing it at this point is like withholding medicine from a diabetic and telling them to figure it out. He was completely on board and we’ve started that, so I’m hopeful. The one amusing part of the conversation was when we were talking about these struggles potentially being hereditary and the pediatrician asked if I’d been able to high school; I don’t look like it could have been possible I guess. She was very gracious to let me challenge on studies and talk through data vs anecdote, which I appreciated; not all primary care doctors are willing to do that.
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My daughter cried for like an hour and a half because she thought her arms looked too big in her Halloween costume. That was hard. She and her friends are all doing the same costume and she’s very excited about it, but she’s gotten to a very self-conscious age. She’s not as bad as some other girls her age, but when it comes up it’s a lot for her. She ended up wearing it to trunk or treat and was happy with it, though, so all was well. She’s just bigger than some of her friends at this age, because they grow at different rates. She loves athletics and (poor thing) is built a little more like me than like her mom. I’ve started turning on CrossFit YouTube videos or even some of Meadows’ (because she remembers/ recognizes him) videos when he was training women in the mornings. Her friend comes over and hangs for 15 minutes and they walk to school together. I like them both seeing videos of these incredibly strong women together that are focused on what the women can do. Anyway, in my brain that should help. Any ladies that happen to drop by, please feel free to opine.
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I took my son to the Black Adam movie last night. He loves all the superhero movies, but they’re not all good… this one wasn’t bad! And the Rock is enormous, if still a terrible actor, so that was cool.
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I think that’s all my rambling for now? Im apparently using this as a journal and getting my feelings and emotions out into the world.
Anyway, yesterday was a pull day:
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HS High Row
4 x 8
Somewhere around there. I worked up to heavy, then backed down for a few. -
Pull-ups
4 x 8-10 -
HS Pullover
Cool machine!
4 x 10 -
HS Shrugs
Eh machine.
3 x 12 -
Machine Back Extension
3 x 12
After this I hung from a pull-up bar for a minute -
Leg Raise
4 sets -
Preacher Curl
4 x 10 -
Hammer Curl
4 x 8 + 5 partials
- 30 minutes on a spin bike
Dudes, this is stupid and boring. Why am I not doing something awesome and sprinting like the animal I am?
Will go do a push day in a couple hours.
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Sprints are better used later on in the cut because who likes making training shittier than it has to be?
^ Me. And apparently you too.
Read and acknowledged the rest of your post, I’m just not really sure what to add to it… I’m not at a point in life where I have experience dealing with most of these things.
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Great point!
I appreciate that and no worries at all. One of the truly great things about maturing is we gain the wisdom to realize we don’t have to have a strong opinion on everything. I also realize I can’t fix everything for my children, nor should I, so often this is for my own catharsis.
Off to the gym… will my post-lift conditioning be something awesome or mind-numbing? Only the Shadow knows.
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Hi, female here
I also struggled with this growing up. I was heavier, shorter and less athletic than most of my classmates growing up and even as someone relatively oblivious to social pressure, I hated that I wasn’t thin.
I think you’re taking the right approach in emphasising her abilities (not just physical) rather than her looks. Is her mum doing anything to help? For me, dad is “less credible” when it comes to things like beauty bc I know he’d say that I’m beautiful no matter what so I tend to discount his opinion.
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My little lady is only 5, not looking forward to her getting older and having to deal with the rubbish world we live in, I emphasise with you.
Other than that just hope you are ok, your post seems a little ‘down’ sorry if I’ve read that wrong.
Either way your log is not boring at all! I come here for gains and I’m not disappointed normally.
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She said verbatim that! “You’re my dad; you have to say I’m pretty.”
Yes, mom definitely helps. Mom is a fitness person and they do hair and nails and makeup and stuff together. My daughter has always been a daddy’s girl and really started playing sports because of me (mom never played any sports), so I want to be able to help. I’m sure you’re right that I simply won’t be the primary benefactor in this situation, which I don’t love but is likely reality. I really appreciate your perspective!
Today was a push day:
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DB Incline
40/20
60/6
80/4
90/8 x 4
Trying to stay a little light and just accumulate volume to maybe be a little friendlier to my shoulders/ elbows -
Incline
45/6
135/6
165/6
185/6
205/5 -
Machine Press
Neutral grip - felt good at the top
1pps/4
2pps/10 + 5 + 3 + 2 -
Machine Flye
100/8 x 3 -
Machine Rear Delt
70/15 x 4 -
Machine Shoulder Press
1pps/4
2pps/6 x 4 -
Rope Pressdown
4 x 10 -
Machine Extension
4 x 8
Had some folks ask about my wife’s gym (I’m telling sweatshirts, yo) - I think the place will take off when it opens! Anyone in the Midwest and want to go??
Cardio will be a dog ruck after the Bengals game.
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It’s crazy! I’m sure every generation of parents have felt this way.
I’m all good man! I really appreciate that. It was just a crazy couple weeks with all the big things that take years to develop hitting the other side of the hill, you know? But we’re all happy, healthy, together, love one another, secure in all the material ways, etc. Life is honestly very good and very easy, relatively speaking. Thank you though!
I really appreciate that as well! So long as I can keep the disappointments in a normal distribution, this log will parallel my poor wife’s marriage expectations.
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Happy for you to tag me in and more than happy to share my experience with my son. I think people need to talk about mental health issues more. The more we share experiences and information the more others can learn and hopefully find a solution.
I am not able to comment on your sons path as I am obviously not qualified or don’t know the details of your sons condition. But I will comment on my own son and how we have been going since medicating.
As I have mentioned before my son was diagnosed ADHD Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and also ODD Oppositional Defiance Disorder. The don’t really treat for ODD as this is purely behavioral but he is being treated for his ADHD.
We spoke at length to the doctors during the assessment process and both myself and my wife really struggled with the idea of giving him medication. I am one of those old school (stupid) guys who still thinks you can sweat out any illness through ignoring it and still training. So accepting that my son needed some medication for his brain was extremely challenging for me. I expected the doctor to suggest a therapist and that we could get through it by talking about it… how fkn silly does that sound now I wrote it down.
Your comment above about withholding medication from a diabetic is exactly that the doctor spoke about and it was the tipping point for me and my wife. If our son needed heart medication or any other physical ailment we would medicate without question. But as soon as you think about brain medication your point of view changes. This is pretty illogical to me now, but 8 weeks ago it wasn’t.
By talking to the doctor and understanding a little more about the brain and how it works and also how chemicals effect certain parts of the brain, I was able to overcome my stigma about drugs and with my wife we agreed to start medication.
Initially they put my son on a fast acting medication but not very long lasting. This meant he would need to take a tablet in the morning and then again at school (administered by the nurse). They started him on half a tablet twice a day and progressed to a full tablet after week 2.
The drug is designed to stimulate a part of the brain that helps with planning and focus and decision making. All the stuff ADHD children are really bad at. My initial thoughts around drugs were that they would calm him down to help with the hyperactivity and I was very worried about turning him into a zombie (I watched too many movies in the 80’s). What a load of bollox. The drugs are designed to stimulate and wake up a part of the brain that is being a little lazy, and this in turn helps him be his best self. Knowing this made me feel pretty good, it felt like we were helping him rather than turning him off.
OK so how did it go and where are we now.
The change in my son was almost instant, and by this I mean noticeable change in behavior within 15 mins of the first tablet. His ability to listen and follow instructions, to get simple things done like cleaning teeth and getting dressed without a massive fight, to organise himself without being nagged. All stuff that would cause a potential for a tantrum and then for the ODD to be triggered were so much better.
He was much better at school, actually completing school tasks, actually doing home work without a big fight. He still needed to be told to do the homework but hey he is a 9yr old boy not a nerd.
The one thing we did notice once he started medicating is that evening times became a challenge due to the medication wearing off. The doctor did prescribe an extra half a tablet after school but getting my son to take this one was extremely difficult and we decided not to push too hard with him.
Now 8 weeks later the doctors have changed him onto a slow acting medication so he takes just one pill per day. This change was only a few days ago but so far it seems to be working really well. We have already noticed with the new medication that he is more consistent through the day and we dont get the peaks a troughs of the old fast acting medication.
As well as the medication he has started seeing a therapist which gives him a chance to talk about his feelings and hopefully find ways to help him manage them. More importantly the therapist is helping us understand his behavior and the things he can and cant really change. This is the most important part for me because now I have to learn how to parent him differently. My old school parenting is just not going to work and the more I learn about all this the more I realise how wrong I have been and how bad a job I was doing. There is no manual for this parenting thing and we are all making it up as we go but sometimes you have to accept that you are wrong and the issue is not with your child.
Anyway that’s enough for now. If you have any more specific questions feel free to ask or if you want to discuss more privately then hit up my socials (I am so down with it…LOL).
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All I can say write now is thank you for this. It’s hugely helpful and supportive. I really appreciate it and will absolutely hit you up more as I digest a little. I’m really glad it’s been so positive for you and your son - that’s what it’s about.
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I don’t have the time or mental fortitude to dive into this, but I want to add a bit to help the skeptics (of quick I am one).
The brain relies on chemicals and they need to be balanced. Things beyond our control can upset that balance. If you followed my log in 2020, then you’ll remember my mental collapse. I was angry, bitter, resentful, and worst of all - numb to all other feelings. My wife looked into my eyes and said I looked “dead inside”. And she was right.
That was one of the fiercest blows I’ve ever experienced. I love my wife and to hear that from her and know what it was doing to her was too much to bear. I immediately sought help.
My counselor told me that the brain’s chemical balance can get thrown off by trauma. In my terms/understanding, my brain broke. The result was a deep depression.
I always thought people who ran to meds for mental help were weak or taking the easy way out. I still think some parents rush to ADHD meds. Children who are neglected might appear to have a problem, but it’s a different cause. My experience has made me a believer in brain chemistry and modern medicine. I think meds should be accompanied by therapy/counseling/something to teach the individual how to manage their condition.
I thought this would be short, but here we are. In summary, I’ve experienced the benefits of medicinal help to balance my brain chemistry. It worked and I’m honestly scared to get off my meds. Some people just need some help to right the ship, but I might not be one of them… and that’s okay.
@simo74 @TrainForPain I wish you and your children all the best. The science can work.
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Thanks man. I really appreciate that. I do think a holistic approach is the right way, and I’m very critical of folks that just want to medicate at the highest doses their way out of anything.
For my son, it is anxiety - and it’s crippling for him. We’ve tried therapy previously, as well as sports and the more traditional things. He’s so anxious, he wasn’t able to get over that hurdle to get anything out of it. The idea is the appropriate dose of medication will allow his brain to slow down enough that he can engage in the next steps (therapy, sports, social groups) to get the tools he needs out of them.
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This is the critical point, it is absolutely about assisting him to then start to help himself. You first have to remove the road block and in this case medicating to allow him to then be able to discover and come out of his shell is the right thing to do. I applaud you and your wife for having the courage to make a decision and help him take the next step. I wish you all luck on the journey but am confident you will work through it together.
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