Make her feel like you are deeply concerned about the weight and you want to help if she wants to help herself. you can only lead a horse to water, you can not make it drink.
[quote]HynesKetchup wrote:
[quote]Producer wrote:
[quote]Nominal Prospect wrote:
Anti-depressants cause weight gain. This guy is screwed.
[/quote]
I didn’t suggest anti-depressants (that’s what a psychiatrist is for), all though that may be an option after some other efforts are made.
I don’t believe weight gain is the norm for anti-depressant users.
[/quote]
Anti- Depressants? You are retarded for even considering that as an option. Have you read nothing on this site? That girl needs to be supplementing with 2000+ IUs of Vitamin D per day, then tell me if she is still F’ing Depressed. Anti-Depressants are the frigging worst thing Big Pharma has come up with. Vitamin D improves your mood, The majority of people are vitamin D deficient, especially children and youths, hence why there are more and more people suffering from depression.
Now I realize that Vitamin D doesn’t cure bad thought patterns or make choices for people, but it’s a good start, and far better then some pill that was made to make you sicker.
[/quote]
You’re pretty ignorant. I said anti-depressants are an option after other efforts are made. That would include the miracle Vitamin D supplementation.
I hope that she or no one needs to go on anti-depressants, but they can help some people. Don’t have such an extreme view if you know very little about the subject.
You aren’t a doctor, so stfu.
[quote]bushidobadboy wrote:
[quote]Producer wrote:
[quote]Nominal Prospect wrote:
Anti-depressants cause weight gain. This guy is screwed.
[/quote]
I don’t believe weight gain is the norm for anti-depressant users.
[/quote]
If you read the warning label on many anti-depressants, you will see “may cause severe weight gain”. Sometimes the ‘severe’ is replaced with ‘extreme’ (as with amitryptalene) or is not there at all.
I think it has something to do with boosting serotonin levels and serotonin having an effect on leptin (the appetite/energy metabolism hormone).
BBB[/quote]
Not all anti-depressants effect serotonin, and not all serotonin anti-d’s boost it…some just inhibit reuptake. Some can cause weight-loss.
I quick google search on the first link showed that about 25% of users experience weight gain. With diet and exercise, I think it would be very uncommon to gain weight.
Just saying…for some people a pill might help them start eating and exercising. Not what I would choose, but I’ve seen anti-ds help an obese person get off the couch…
Compliments do not only have to be about physical attributes. Compliment the things she does…or something…You could compliment her hair 
If all else fails…lie.
[quote]snf_05 wrote:
Compliments do not only have to be about physical attributes. Compliment the things she does…or something…You could compliment her hair
If all else fails…lie.[/quote]
Can’t have sex with her personality. I’m just sayin.
V
[quote]HolyMacaroni wrote:
[quote]LarryDavid wrote:
[quote]HolyMacaroni wrote:
on topic, can you give some examples on how you would compliment a woman who has a ‘clear 100lbs’ to lose?
[/quote]
“Yo bitch, you smell like [insert fast food restaurant of choice]…I like that.”[/quote]
i’m pretty sure i want to have sex with you right now[/quote]
If you close your eyes while having sex with her…BOOM! you could imagine your first threesome. hey Mac, does a fat chick feel similar to an MMF?
[quote]Vegita wrote:
[quote]snf_05 wrote:
Compliments do not only have to be about physical attributes. Compliment the things she does…or something…You could compliment her hair
If all else fails…lie.[/quote]
Can’t have sex with her personality. I’m just sayin.
V[/quote]
He also cant stick his fist in her college degree.
When I met my bf I started gaining a few pounds. He tried to get me in the gym a few times but I felt uncomfortable and didn’t want to go. One day we were out shopping and passed a Victoria’s Secrets. I was eying a pair of panties and he suggested we buy them. I said I wanted to wait until I got in better shape. He asked me how the “not exercising, eating crap and drinking a six pack a night diet was working out for me”.
Needless to say, I got upset. An argument ensued and within 2 months I was in the gym and haven’t left. He is an extremely blunt person and does not pull punches which at times can be very difficult to deal with, but without it I probably would have just used less healthy ways to lose the weight.
My suggestion would be to buy her some nice lingerie for Valentine’s Day, but purposely get it a size or 2 too small. Don’t go with something ridiculously small for her, just enough to imply you haven’t noticed how large she is really getting. Hopefully the sight of herself in the mirror will be enough to wake her up or, at the very least, make her realize that she needs to change.
Yes, this is manipulative and cruel, but if you have really tried everything else it is time for desperate measures. From what you have written, it sounds like this has less to do with her actual weight and more to do with her approach to life and how she sees herself. If you are trying to improve yourself, it is very difficult to live with someone who has given up, be honest with both her and yourself. Let her know that you love her and want to help her, but there is only so much you can take.
Good luck.
[quote]nik133 wrote:
[quote]Vegita wrote:
[quote]snf_05 wrote:
Compliments do not only have to be about physical attributes. Compliment the things she does…or something…You could compliment her hair
If all else fails…lie.[/quote]
Can’t have sex with her personality. I’m just sayin.
V[/quote]
He also cant stick his fist in her college degree.[/quote]
Haha glad someone caught it.
V
[quote]SmilingPolitely wrote:
When I met my bf I started gaining a few pounds. He tried to get me in the gym a few times but I felt uncomfortable and didn’t want to go. One day we were out shopping and passed a Victoria’s Secrets. I was eying a pair of panties and he suggested we buy them. I said I wanted to wait until I got in better shape. He asked me how the “not exercising, eating crap and drinking a six pack a night diet was working out for me”.
Needless to say, I got upset. An argument ensued and within 2 months I was in the gym and haven’t left. He is an extremely blunt person and does not pull punches which at times can be very difficult to deal with, but without it I probably would have just used less healthy ways to lose the weight.
My suggestion would be to buy her some nice lingerie for Valentine’s Day, but purposely get it a size or 2 too small. Don’t go with something ridiculously small for her, just enough to imply you haven’t noticed how large she is really getting. Hopefully the sight of herself in the mirror will be enough to wake her up or, at the very least, make her realize that she needs to change.
Yes, this is manipulative and cruel, but if you have really tried everything else it is time for desperate measures. From what you have written, it sounds like this has less to do with her actual weight and more to do with her approach to life and how she sees herself. If you are trying to improve yourself, it is very difficult to live with someone who has given up, be honest with both her and yourself. Let her know that you love her and want to help her, but there is only so much you can take.
Good luck.[/quote]
Your boyfriend is (was?) awesome. So are you for not stabbing him when he said that.
[quote]buffalokilla wrote:
[quote]SmilingPolitely wrote:
When I met my bf I started gaining a few pounds. He tried to get me in the gym a few times but I felt uncomfortable and didn’t want to go. One day we were out shopping and passed a Victoria’s Secrets. I was eying a pair of panties and he suggested we buy them. I said I wanted to wait until I got in better shape. He asked me how the “not exercising, eating crap and drinking a six pack a night diet was working out for me”.
Needless to say, I got upset. An argument ensued and within 2 months I was in the gym and haven’t left. He is an extremely blunt person and does not pull punches which at times can be very difficult to deal with, but without it I probably would have just used less healthy ways to lose the weight.
My suggestion would be to buy her some nice lingerie for Valentine’s Day, but purposely get it a size or 2 too small. Don’t go with something ridiculously small for her, just enough to imply you haven’t noticed how large she is really getting. Hopefully the sight of herself in the mirror will be enough to wake her up or, at the very least, make her realize that she needs to change.
Yes, this is manipulative and cruel, but if you have really tried everything else it is time for desperate measures. From what you have written, it sounds like this has less to do with her actual weight and more to do with her approach to life and how she sees herself. If you are trying to improve yourself, it is very difficult to live with someone who has given up, be honest with both her and yourself. Let her know that you love her and want to help her, but there is only so much you can take.
Good luck.[/quote]
Your boyfriend is (was?) awesome. So are you for not stabbing him when he said that.
[/quote]
He may be even awsomer than just being a blunt person. Maybe he reads people well and knows you well enough to know that being blunt with you would light a fire under your ass and get you motivated. Perhaps he would use a different approach if he got a different feeling about you, I know I would, I use bluntness when and where it is appropriate, and a lot of the times it’s very appropriate.
There is a lot fo good info now in this thread for OP to chew on. I think having a kid with the girl, and him acting like he still cares a great deal for her means he should go the extra mile or two on this one and don’t just cut and run. Manipulate that bitch OP, she will thank you for it when she is trim, healthy, sexy, in a good mood all the time. Then once you “save” her. It’s sammich making time all the time. “yea, remember when you were fat and now your not? make me a sammich” “Yea, remember when you were fat and now your not and we have awsome sex all the time now? I’m going drinking with the boys”
V
I really don’t understand why some women “let themselves go” in a steady relationship or during a marriage. I’m not gonna play amateur psychiatrist, but I’ll give you a woman’s perspective by providing an example from my 30 year relationship with Yo Daddy.
When we first met, I said, “If I ever get fat, shoot me!”
So when Yo D. twirls his Luger on his finger, I put down my fork.
Simple and effective.
[quote]Yo Momma wrote:
I really don’t understand why some women “let themselves go” in a steady relationship or during a marriage. I’m not gonna play amateur psychiatrist, but I’ll give you a woman’s perspective by providing an example from my 30 year relationship with Yo Daddy.
When we first met, I said, “If I ever get fat, shoot me!”
So when Yo D. twirls his Luger on his finger, I put down my fork.
Simple and effective.[/quote]
A Luger - nice! That’s old school pimp-handing.
DB
[quote]dollarbill44 wrote:
A Luger - nice! That’s old school pimp-handing.
DB[/quote]
Yo Daddy’s an old school pimp.
[quote]buffalokilla wrote:
[quote]SmilingPolitely wrote:
When I met my bf I started gaining a few pounds. He tried to get me in the gym a few times but I felt uncomfortable and didn’t want to go. One day we were out shopping and passed a Victoria’s Secrets. I was eying a pair of panties and he suggested we buy them. I said I wanted to wait until I got in better shape. He asked me how the “not exercising, eating crap and drinking a six pack a night diet was working out for me”.
Needless to say, I got upset. An argument ensued and within 2 months I was in the gym and haven’t left. He is an extremely blunt person and does not pull punches which at times can be very difficult to deal with, but without it I probably would have just used less healthy ways to lose the weight.
My suggestion would be to buy her some nice lingerie for Valentine’s Day, but purposely get it a size or 2 too small. Don’t go with something ridiculously small for her, just enough to imply you haven’t noticed how large she is really getting. Hopefully the sight of herself in the mirror will be enough to wake her up or, at the very least, make her realize that she needs to change.
Yes, this is manipulative and cruel, but if you have really tried everything else it is time for desperate measures. From what you have written, it sounds like this has less to do with her actual weight and more to do with her approach to life and how she sees herself. If you are trying to improve yourself, it is very difficult to live with someone who has given up, be honest with both her and yourself. Let her know that you love her and want to help her, but there is only so much you can take.
Good luck.[/quote]
Your boyfriend is (was?) awesome. So are you for not stabbing him when he said that.
[/quote]
He has his moments. I’ve come to realize that the traits you like most in a person are also the same traits that drive you crazy at times.
I also left out the part when he told me how his ex-wife and ex-girlfriend did the same thing; pretended to get into lifting and then bailed. I got the, “should have known you’d be just like all the other women” line which stung like hell but got my ass moving.
I don’t recommend that particular approach for the OP. Yes, it was the slap in the face I needed, but it is not for everyone.
Who knew marriage required so much deceit and fantasy role play. It doesn’t seem worth the effort to play so many fucking games with people.
“Give her complements”. yeah…if she DESERVES THEM. Women seem to have no problem calling a man lazy or good-for-nothing if he sits at home without a job but if she gains 30lbs from basic neglect and from her love of Crisco suddenly we have to pretend she has great hair, a great personality and on top of all that needs to be complimented day in and day out just so she feels good about herself.
Why the hell do women have such low self esteem?
[quote]Professor X wrote:
Why the hell do women have such low self esteem?[/quote]
[quote]Vegita wrote:
[quote]nik133 wrote:
[quote]Vegita wrote:
[quote]snf_05 wrote:
Compliments do not only have to be about physical attributes. Compliment the things she does…or something…You could compliment her hair
If all else fails…lie.[/quote]
Can’t have sex with her personality. I’m just sayin.
V[/quote]
He also cant stick his fist in her college degree.[/quote]
Haha glad someone caught it.
V[/quote]
Conspiricy theorists think on the same wave
[quote]Professor X wrote:
Who knew marriage required so much deceit and fantasy role play. It doesn’t seem worth the effort to play so many fucking games with people.
“Give her complements”. yeah…if she DESERVES THEM. Women seem to have no problem calling a man lazy or good-for-nothing if he sits at home without a job but if she gains 30lbs from basic neglect and from her love of Crisco suddenly we have to pretend she has great hair, a great personality and on top of all that needs to be complimented day in and day out just so she feels good about herself.
Why the hell do women have such low self esteem?[/quote]
Have you been reading some of the posts in here lately? Nearly every one is some guy complaining how he can’t find a woman that fits his laundry list of requirements. It’s apparently red flags everywhere!
Right now the hot dating advice is to be a dick, string her along, lie if you have to and then dump her for being a slut the moment she touches your winky. I look back on the shit guys put me through in my early twenties and its no wonder I was a fucking mess until I hit 30.
That being said, women should have more going for them then finding a guy. However, where are all of the strong female role models? If a woman actually makes something of herself she is viewed as aggressive, mannish and therefore undesirable (in general).
The WNBA is struggling while the Lingerie Bowl has segued into an entire league. The Williams sisters dominate tennis yet do a google image search for women’s tennis and good luck trying to find a picture of them.
There are “celebrities” famous simply for having big tits or a fat ass (and a sex tape). Miley Cyrus pole dancing is brought to you by Disney and every show on TV is about some bitch taking her clothes off to attract a man and maybe make a few bucks.
Meanwhile women are fleeing the workplace in droves to stay-at-home and it seems the measure of a successful life is how big your husband’s paycheck is.
Before I step down off my soap box let me just say that I have a 5 year old daughter so I think about this stuff a lot and do what I can to counteract it, but I am terrified for her future. I have made myself into a strong female role model that she can look up to because it is abundantly clear that there are none around.
I know the general consensus in these forums is that masculinity is being bred out of today’s males, but I contend that while this is happening women are continually making themselves weaker to counter balance it. The end result is a bunch of people standing around waiting for someone else to take control and lead.
[quote]Professor X wrote:
Who knew marriage required so much deceit and fantasy role play. It doesn’t seem worth the effort to play so many fucking games with people.
“Give her complements”. yeah…if she DESERVES THEM. Women seem to have no problem calling a man lazy or good-for-nothing if he sits at home without a job but if she gains 30lbs from basic neglect and from her love of Crisco suddenly we have to pretend she has great hair, a great personality and on top of all that needs to be complimented day in and day out just so she feels good about herself.
[/quote]
It’s not deceit and fantasy- it is a means to a end. Telling her she looks attractive as a bag of crap is not going to help someone with low self esteem.
Having said that I dont think complimenting her will help because she may just decide she looks great after all the compliments he’s been giving her.
Perhaps spending leisure time with her, being affectionate etc is a better way to go… and dont forget to keep subtly mentioning how fat people dont look good…