Yo, Bono, The Edge, and Larry Mullin You should be rehearsing for the tour starting tomorrow night! Free Extropian, you contradict yourself when you say that you don’t see what the big deal is about it all, then you go on to say how yoo don’tr want to put up with a virgin and you don’t want her with 25 guys.
For everything else, you guys must have some low self- esteem if your gonna get in a relationsip with some broad who’s getting plugged by everyone else. She’s wasted goods. You should at least get a discount!
Listen, banging 8 dudes is a lot! no matter how you cut it, and no matter how you guys try to sugar coat it. A lot of guys brout up good points here. Where’s the intimacy? There’s a big difference between blowing your load and getting into a relationship. Listen, the chick I get blowing me in my car at 4 a.m. after partying all night certainly has no shot at marrying me. Guys, think about it. How would you feel if you found out the girl you’re “in love” with used to blow guys in the car after getting wasted? How would you feel if after a year being with her in your cozy relationship, she tells you that her and her deviant friend used to get double teamed by guys every weekend. but now she’s not like that anymore. Bullshit. It don’t matter ! She’d damaged goods. How can you now fuck her without thinking, damn, she had got sandiched by the quarterback and the wide reciver in the backdoor!? And one more thing, they all have wicked friends those broads!
Adam, I really agree with u. It really bothers me a lot. Another point that u brought up that is sooo true is one of her closest friends is a huge slut, like big time. Always a new guy coming out of her room. And the girl I was with always said she was just like her except for how they deal with guys, either way I think apples dont fall far from the tree. One time my girl asked me b/c her friend wanted me to bring a random guy to visit her, a guy she just met recently aand lived by me, he didnt have a car but the fact remains that she asked me to bring a guy just so her this guy could fuck her friend. Thought it was really shady.
Just to add my two cents, I don’t really feel 8 is an outrageous number. It would perhaps bother me if I had been with less but since that isn’t my situation I can’t really relate. I think that what Akicita had to say is a very important point, the passion is what really matters in a relationship. The love and openess of love making outshine the superficial one night stand. (Although I would have to say that I’m appreciative of those too) The number 8, in and of itself will not tell you how the relationship will work out. Get past that and look at things that really matter. By the sounds of things you have some things to worry about with this one, whether the number was 2 or 12.
For the record the number of dudes doesn’t really bother me, its all the information surrounding that little tid-bit of information. I get De-ja-voo (however you spell it) every time I hear it. I certainly don’t base my opinion on the number. The fact that she is happy to go into tdetail about each one seams to indicate she’s keeping a record. Girl’s who care about you won’t volenteer details about thier past sexual exploits, those who do have a high correlation with being a slut. There are greener pastures, move on.
Adam Clayton: no I don’t contradict myself -
let me clarify. I said my preferance was
“in the middle.” If I met a woman I liked who
was either a virgin or had 25 guys, it wouldnt be a big deal to me, if the other aspects of the relationship were good. I wasn’t saying I would “make a big deal about it” - I was just expressing a preferance. There is a difference. Curious is making it out to be the make or break aspect of the
relationship, and that is what I don’t agree
with. But, that’s just my personal preferance.
There isn’t a right or wrong on this topic -
it’s only a matter of personal preferance, and
that’s what we’re providing curious - our
personal perferances. There is mine.
BTW - if my posts on this topic seem
abnormally (for me) half-baked and hostile,
it’s because I’ve had a horrendously shitty
day today, my brain is fried, and this is a
topic I have given zero thought to before this
forum. I just threw in my $.02 because I was
amazed that so many people thought the “how
many partners” question was such a big deal.
It never before even occurred to me to freak
out over that. Anyway, I’ll stop rambling and
get some sleep now…
UNBELIEVABLE!!!
0, 8, 10, 42 whatever!!! You either love her or you don’t. The relationship is too loaded with baggage now - it’s fucked so give it up. I know it’s harsh, i’m doing the same thing. It aint easy being alone.
You are obviously a neophyte sexually, emotionally and relationship-wise (not meant to be a slam) and as such you are grappling with issues that we all have had to grapple with throughout our lives. Here’s a tip…….you won’t find your answer on this board, even it turns out eventually to have been the right answer. That’s because where you currently sit NOW you wouldn’t know what the right answer was if it hit you in the middle of your face. EVENTUALLY you will find the right answer FOR YOU but that will come later, not now. Until then enjoy the misery of not knowing, it’s part of the maturation process and in some ways beats where guys like me are in life, at a point where we pretty much know ourselves and what is and isn’t important as it pertains to relationships and everything else in life. The best advice so far was provided by racer x. Go out and rent “Chasing Amy.” The perfect movie for your situation. It won’t give you the answer you’re looking for but it will help you along the path of enlightenment. Cheers.
There’s some great posts in here, someone always beats me to the punch…
A question to the ladies reading this thread: how do you feel about a guy that’s had lots of partners, as compared to one that’s had very few, if any? Is it an issue?
Mark - the number is not important to me. It is what is behind the number. (going on the assumption that you are referring to a man my age - 26) If a guy slept with everything that had a heartbeat and then started to realize he was being a dog and stopped … then that says something good. Someone who has had 3 or 4 partners a year for a few years up until last week, well, that’a a different issue. If the first guy and the second guy both had 20 partners total, I’d go for the first. He ‘corrected’ his behavior, which was disrespectful to himself and his partners. So now he is paying attention to who is worth being #21 and probably deciding on long term stuff (or at least the possibility) Batchelor number 2 is just a disaster waiting to happen. He gave up his bad habits very recently so relapse is very possible and keeping his attention will be very hard, as he is now used to the ‘excitement’ of a new person all the time. As for low numbers, I don’t have any problem with that…if a man is choosy about who he is with that makes being one of his ‘selections’ all the more special. My man is the choosey type, and I’m proud that he chose to be with me…
The most important thing is respect. Since it is not possible to change the past why beat someone up about it? If your partner has more experience than you do what’s the worst thing that can happen? You might learn something new? Doesn’t sound too bad to me!
Curious started this whole thing, and it was evident very quickly that the woman in question has no respect for the relationship (or she wouldn’t be playing head games) he has no respect for her (as evidenced by his lack of trust)
The only numbers that matter are the first and the last. If those two are the same person than you are extremely lucky and will never regret it.
Sex-is sex…making love…is making love…a profound difference…shooting myself in the foot? Maybe…but I cant believe how much focus this discussion has gotten…the raw sensuality of sex can be a good thing.sometimes…(my opinion)…Yes…making love with that special person, saving yourself, that whole thing is wonderful also…besides…who is keeping count? lol…throw the black book away and enjoy life…the past is the past…and that is where it should be left…anyways, I have probably said too much…
I don’t really care or ask (who knows if the answer would be truthful anyway)What matters is the current relationship between us…Dragging in a bunch of extraneous B.S. from the past when we were not “involved” is just an excuse to get emotional highs or lows that are lacking in the current relationship and a signal to move on.
Okay…sorry…one more thing…because I read a few more posts in here about this. I cannot believe that some of you are calling her a slut because she has been with 8 men…and I also can’t believe that it even matters that she has been with ‘more’ or ‘double’ as you have put it…men than you have. (what a way to beat double standards huh? by ‘doubling up’.)…I will say…that if this really really bothers you, move on, stop making her feel bad for her past. Either decide to help build a FUTURE together, work with her or find someone with ‘half’ of your encounters…would that be 2?
And if some of the posts are right…'if she says 8 she probably means more…then I am sure you will still be even…‘if you say 4…then more?’…God give the girl a break…
listen…I said that there is a difference between men and women…it s important to take this fact into consideration.It s a fact that it is so mutch easier for women to get laid than men. all a chick has to tell a guy is"let s have sex" and a minute later the guy is screwing her. why is this? think!! that is the reason I consider women who have had a lot of sexual-partners whores. It is certainly not difficult for a woman to find a guy WITHIN ONE MINUTE! and get “fucked” by him a minute later, although some morons seem to think otherwise. Many women try to proove themselves that they are attractive and increase their self-esteem by letting a lot of men screw them! It s not unusual to hear a woman proudly announce: “I ve had a lot of men in my life”…Don t these morons realize that it doesn t have anything to do with their appearance? all they need to be for most men to be willing to screw them is a woman. period. the sex-drive of men is so mutch higher than women s that they ll screw any female! don t you get it?