Some of the reactions you guys have just blows me away! If women had the same criteria for men, none of you would be getting laid. And by your standards the older you get the more likely you are to be dating nuns! Lets not forget the reason you are here now is because your mother is NOT a virgin. GROW UP! you can’t have your cake and eat it too! (pun intended)
I agree with it not being as special, and the idea of her doing it with those other guys still drive me crazy sometimes. She seems to have everything going for her, so it’s tough. She still swears she wasnt like she is but me, but its hard to believe. Its not like i’m desperate, I meed girls all the time and I’m getting into modeling, but I’m not one to just hook up with anyone i’m approached by. Like I said, I was a virgin until 21. This girl was my second, and after we broke up I had 2 after her, I’ll admit it prob had to do with the fact I held out so long while she was sleeping around all along. I’ll admit insecurity about this issue, but I dont know how to deal with the fact she’s been with all these other guys, and the cruise story STILL kills me. Even though when I told her it bothered me a few months later, and asked the story, she said they started to do it then she stopped him after a minute b/c she felt bad. She still swears thats what happens but I find it VERY hard to believe, that story kills me. The guy turned out to be 24 and she was 18, and she later found he was engaged. Classy. And dont only slutty girls agree to sleep w/ someone who keeps pursuing them, even when they’re not interested? And one more thing, does a girl go from just having sex with other guys, nothing special or good, then all a sudden with me (supposedly) its the best thing ever and she seems like a nympho, saying she was never like this before? Thanx for all posts, hope u’re enjoying the drama of my life
So, Larry and John, you’re both virgins, right? The way you’re running your mouths you had better be! Let me make a wild guess, you’ve sown your wild oats, and now you wnat to find the pure innocent virgin of your dreams? Not gonna happen. I know six women who are over 25 and virgins, and none of them will even consider dateing someone who isn’t. They have waited and want someone who feels that sexual purity is important.
However, if you both are virgins, that is great. There are lots of women out there who would be happy to meet and be with a man who decided it was important to wait for the right peerson. Those of you who have waited, don't give up...it's worth it to wait!!!!!!
Curious, I think the general consesus is to go with your gut on this. If you can’t trust her out of your sight, MOVE ON. If you really have a problem with how many people she’s been with, MOVE ON. If you’re that insecure about being with a woman who has been with more people than you have, move on and take some time to examine yourself…there are underlieing issues to your double standard. (4 women in a year DOES qualify as sleeping around, and is not much better than 4 one nighters…because there were no relationships involved.)
Michelle, what are your virgin friends waiting for? Will they wait until their bodies are sagging and no guy will want them anyway? Will they waste those precious tight years stuffing themselves with cucumbers?
To the ladies out there, do you consider doing anal as being a virgin? Many girls where I live have anal, and pretend their still virgins.
A couple of them are very religious. They are very good friends and really cool (i.e. not uptight nerds who couldn’t get a date), and most of them are quite above average in looks and body. They feel that it is very important to remain pure for their eventual marriage and they want someone with those same values. Two are engaged, so it is not an impossible quest…just difficult.
My point is, if you value purity, you have to BE pure. If you’ve been with others in the past and want to marry a virgin, then there are people who choose ‘secondary virginity’ and abstain until marriage. There is nothing wrong with having sex if you want to have sex…but the double standards are bulls*#t.
The key, to me, is respect. If the woman Curious is involved with truly has changed then her past should not be an issue. She can do nothing about what she did, and can only change her behavior from here on. If she is worth it he needs to work things out and become comfortable with her.
Curious, what is your standard for having “her act together?” Crying and emotional outbursts hardly qualify as having her act together, in my opinion. She comes across a bit pyscho and frankly, you come across a bit needy. Dude, work on your confidence and self-esteem. You seem to like this girl because she IS an “emotional wreck.” That way you can comfort her and get an ego stroke. Hey, many of us have been there. You need to get out, for both your sakes.
Larry and John AT, you guys are wack! You are definitely living in a dream world. But it is a distorted world at best. So it’s okay for you guys to hit any girl you want, but you want your girl to be a virgin? Okay buddy. As for what someone does in the past, it’s just that. The past. People make different choices in their lives, and they usually go through different learning experiences. But your view of it is definitely screwed up.
As for Curious, it can’t be said enough, you need to move on. You have a trust problem and a numbers problem. So get out now. If you want, I’ll take care of her for you. She needs someone with more experience anyway! 
Arrrg! give me her phone number and let me dump her for you! I can take out all my emotional baggage on her, and trust me, she will never bother you again.
Is a man or woman who has had one homosexual experience still a virgin? This is supposedly somewhat common (youth, curiosity). Does any of this really matter?
I think this virginity/purity stuff towards women only, is a way of whitewashing the fact that we can get pregnant and any male can deny he did it by claiming we are bad girls, and sleep around, so it could be anybody. But, we are cold,frigid bitches who will dry up and sag if we don’t “put out”. We can’t win.
The criteria really should be emotional,intellectual, and physical attraction and NOT what happened in the past to either party.
There is one thing for sure - sex complicates everything. Every partner you have before you find your t-man or t-vixen you will regret, and if you don’t regret your previous conquests, your spouse will regret them for you. Why does our world give out sex so easy? The things in this world that are considered the most special, the most expensive, are the things that are hard to get a hold of. If diamonds were easy to come by, they wouldn’t be a treasure. Man or woman, sexual conquests just end up hurting you and the person you end up falling in love with in the end. My husband was lucky enough to get a virgin for a wife, but he wasn’t a virgin himself. And he will tell you now that his biggest regret is having not waited for me. He didn’t know he would meet his soul mate. He didn’t know he would regret his previous women. He didn’t know how much I would hurt because he wasn’t a virgin. He never thought about those things until he found me, the woman he wanted to spend his life with. It wouldn’t hurt to think ahead. You may not currently imagine finding the “one” you would want to marry and have children with, but you never know when true love will hit, and you will be left dealing with your (and your spouse’s) past.
Just to add fuel to the fire, when I was getting my psychology degree I found a couple of studies on very promiscuous women. Women who sleep around a lot were shown to have a higher suicide rate than those who didn’t. There was also a correlation with higher instances of mental problems. Sorry, can’t remember if researchers attached numbers to the studies, so I don’t know how much is considered “a lot”.
So to me, the problem isn’t with the sex per se, but with her potential to have “issues” that would later lead to divorce, custody battles for kids etc…
Personally, the thought of 8 would bug me too. Then again, I married a virgin.
Nate doggie dog baby…don’t worry about curious’ girl. Me and the vixen will take care of her. With the andro and tribex combo I have been taking lately, the Vixen has told me she is considering a surrogate for me just so she can get some rest!! (She is complaining about being woken up in the middle of the night two or three times…me coming home for lunch…(her as the lunch!) the evening sessions…morning sessions…poor girl is getting exausted) Question for the T-guys…is chasing her 16 times between saturday and sunday excessive? I don’t think so…lol…gotta love biotest products!! LOL!!!)) Now curious…when you find the right one…you too willl have a great relationship like me and the Vixen have…and she shares!! LOL!! Its all about trust baby!!!
go rent the movie Chasing Amy. it will help straigthen you out AND you’ll laugh your ass off.
I think we are wasting our time with this joker, I won’t be suprise if the curious one is getting a kick out of all the attention he is getting right now. Get some help man, go see a psychologist, you call this a problem? I’ll tell you what a real problem is, that is, when you have only one arm and hanging from a fucking cliff and your balls start to itch. Now that’s a major problem. Now go get a fucking life and let’s get some muscle talk in here.
Larry and John AT, you guys ROCK!!! It was refreshing to hear an honest, real world opinion on this subject. I feel the same way. My girl is not a virgin, and it is tough whenever I think about it. She is way cool and has everything I desire in a woman, so I choose to deal with it. But that doesn’t mean I wish it wasn’t different.
Curious, thank you for starting this post and helping me feel like I am not “odd man out” on many of the things that have been dsicussed so far. I relate to 99% of it. Later.
Hey, Whopper, couldn’t but chuckle a bit when I read your post. Is 16 times a weekend impressive? Yeah, I guess it is. Maybe you can help me too. My dick is too big, hard and throbbing when erect. You think I have a problem?
Chris, your research data supports my notion that girls who sleep around do so to validate their sense of self-worth. I do think that there are genuine female sexual adventurers out their, but I think they are rare. Most promiscuous girls are fucked in the head (and between the legs).
Whopper, no way baby! You need to throw Nate Dogg a bone and let me do her doggy style!!! You’ve got a woman already, so don’t be selfish my man. Just ease up on the Biotest products, and you’ll be doing just fine! Ha ha ha ha.
<P Hey Jeff, if you're upset about your girl not being a virgin, why don't you send her my way? I'll take care of her for you. In fact, I know a couple of virgins. I'll make a trade with you! How about that? I'm just a Dogg anyway. No need on wasting a good girl with experience on someone who doesn't appreciate it. You, John AT, Curious and the other one need to start your own little cult. The "Virgin Slayers" or something like that. I'll give you a hint, you better start looking for the young girls. Because there aren't too many older ones who are virgins. It sounds like Michelle knows the last of the 20-something virgins.
Hey Shugart, interesting study. You know, Nate Dogg will take a basket case for a little nookie. It’s all good. So why don’t you send some of those poor, depressed, suicidal girls my way. This damn Androsol and Tribex is making me hella horny, and I need to get my Doggy Dogg groove on. Doggy style of course!
I am amazed at how most of you are making
such a big deal out of all of this. I think
some of the replies are very revealing - if
the previous sex life history of your partner
is that big deal to you, then I think that
only indicates your own insecurity with your
self identity or your insecurity with your
sexuality, sexual experience or sexual
performance. Or your general emotional
immaturity. People (both men and women)
have sex - get over it. If it’s a big deal
for you, then you are probably the one with
the issues. Personally, I judge a woman and
relationship on the basis of the woman and
the relationship, not solely on the basis
of how many partners she has had (although
that might play some role). That said, I
typically don’t prefer relationships with
women that are naive about life, and that
includes sex. A person can’t know who s/he
is or what s/he wants - in life or in sex,
until s/he’s experienced a lot of different
things. Trying to get into a be all end all
relationship when one or both people is naive
is setting things up for problems down the
road - IMO. Personally, I don’t prefer naive
virgins (yes they are a pain in the ass), but
neither do I want a woman who has been with
25 guys - mainly because those who have been
with that many people will be higher risk for
STDs, and because someone who has felt the
need to be with that many people is more
likely to have “issues” than someone who has
a more moderate sex history. And guys take note: you can learn a lot about sex from
experienced women. In any case, I don’t ask,
except in the context of safety from STDs.
The other person’s history isn’t my business
unless (maybe) if we have a really serious
relationship and we mutually agree to talk
about it for that reason. Yes, double
standards are bullshit, and any guy that
calls a woman a “slut” (whatever that is) is
stupid. It is only a cultural bias that
“punishes” women for doing something that is
both natural and pleasurable, and discourages
them from having sex, even with men they do
like. Then guys wonder why, and complain
that, they can’t get any - even from women
that like them. Duh! If you like the woman, be
glad you’re getting some. If you don’t, you
shouldn’t be with her in the first place.
Don’t stress over the rest; it isn’t worth it
and doesn’t accomplish anything.
Ron Jeremy-i’m not looking for attention, just asked opinions of other people on my situation. If u dont like the topic, dont read it. And I know what having problems are. 2 yrs ago I was playing I-AA college football on scholarship, got a rare shoulder injury, got surgery end of December and was told my football career was over, had to wear a big brace for 6 weeks over winter break followed by another 3 months rehab. Week later on Christmas Eve my mother got into a car accident. Broke the steering wheel with her face, jaw broke 15 places, palette split in half, every bone shattered, 4 titanium plates, 800 stitches in the face. Both lungs collapsed, didnt think she’d live, she did and theres lots of problems physically and mentally, u couldnt even imagine. Had to leave school and work for 2 years, just got back to school. Other family members have “substance” abuse problems and the list goes on, dont get me started. Everyone has issues, I didnt make this out to be life or death, just asked for honest opinions. Anyway, thanx everyone else, u definitely made me think about things from a better perspective.