I guess we’re overdue for a nice, rational discussion.
*chuckles*
Does the number of sexual partners a woman has been with matter?
Does the number of sexual partners a man has been with matter?
Let’s try and do better than “yes” or “no”. Any well-thought out opinion can hold up to scrutiny
It matters if it is important to one or both people entering the relationship. I know that’s a bit of a generic answer but I don’t think it’s as black and white as most people want it to be (as with most things in life).
For both sexes, large amounts of partners with respect to age (i.e. 20 would be a lot of partners for a 20 year old, but not so much for a 40 year old - especially if that 40 year old has never been married) can indicate a predilection for risk taking behavior, lack of impulse control, or seeking of fulfillment and happiness outside of oneself.
Either end of the spectrum, purity culture or extremely promiscuous, is problematic.
Do other chicks count in the total or is that another column?
Not to me.
The reasoning behind a high amount of partners can matter. If there was an abusive past or some other deeply seeded insecurity playing out through sex I would be concerned, but more about the emotional and mental instability than the sex. Just keep in mind that prudes probably won’t do that thing you like.
Happy Birthday!
There probably won’t be a better answer than this one.
So if I were to say that a woman having a high bodycount is undesireable, but a man having a high bodycount is blasé…
sure, you’re allowed to have an opinion and make decisions based on those.
For what purpose though?
At this point in life (52 in may) Ive known a good number of women who were the ones to bang, not marry. And they know it too.
At the same time, there are a few guys I know too that are either going to be single and like remaining unattached or habitually break their vows and have paid for it any number of ways.
Its kind of a non issue to any of them. They accept that thats their road, they chose it, and are pretty well on their way down it.
Do you think, looking back, that those women would make different choices?
Women tend to have a harder time being alone than men do, which makes later years in life rather painful, I would imagine.
Marriage material only. As you said, some of them know they aren’t the ones you bring home to mom ; I don’t think anyone really cares about a woman’s bodycount who will never be interested in meeting a man’s mom.
Not that I can discern. I think some women enjoy their autonomy just as much as men.
And the older divorcees seem to unanimously agree that they wish they hadn’t waited as long.
Yeah, then its probably not an issue. There is a lot of truth to the adage about the ones you bang and the ones you marry.
If a guy makes the mistake of marrying a woman that is bang only, well 
. Mistakes are made. Horror stories do happen. Actions have consequences.
I do think this is a slightly different topic, but I can see this.
From what I’ve seen, most people who get a divorce wanted one for a long time prior to actually getting one. Probably some sunk cost fallacy alongside societal influence at work there.
Hi!!
Hello!
My one friend is a professor, and she really enjoys hers too. Like she just went on a sabbatical and traveled all over NZ, Japan and a few other countries.
Like, honestly, how in the hell is any guy supposed to hang with her own personal/professional arrangements? Or provide greater than or equal to what she has done for herself?
Not gonna happen.
Yeah, there’s a lot that goes into those kinds of decisions. I’m glad I haven’t had to make it. I’m indecisive for the most part, but when I cut someone off, its completely.
There have been a number of women who have effectively “aged” themselves out of “desirable” mates by being too successful.
I do blame much of this on feminism, as this ideology has pushed many women to believe their greatest contributions are in education and careers - not family.
*not saying women shouldn’t work or be educated, just that when the educated and financially stable women don’t want or can’t have kids, this becomes very unsustainable for a developed country.
I dunno. In some cases, they might have made the right decision. In others, who knows? They may have some very good reasons for doing what they choose.
Unfortunately, a lot of the real breeders aren’t exactly suited for motherhood, academia, or careers. They just have an unmitigated ability to reproduce.
As long as people view sex as simply a fun physical act between adults, “body counts” will really only matter if, like @cyclonengineer said, they matter to you.
Anyone with serious beliefs in anything divine (so, as far as I know, almost no one in here) will often have a different conception of what sex is, and has very valid reasons (to them) for why things like high body counts matter.
That’s just it though, sex has only been viewed that way for the last 50-60 years when birth control came about.
I genuinely do not see that sex is “simply a fun physical act between adults”, and I hate to think that people would have this cavalier of an outlook if they had their 18 year old daughters in mind.
I’m 0% religious.
My stance on this has evolved over time. Once surrounded by red-pill content that for the most part is spot on. It all backed up the feelings I thought and felt.
BUT, as I get older and time and time again see situations happen in the reverse of what is the biological or “right” way of things, I’ve come to realize that despite data being swayed one way over another, there is still confirmation bias and there is still different strokes for different folks. Most men would prefer a woman with a lower body count, that is undebatable I believe. I also think there’s a big enough portion of men who don’t seem too bothered by it. And when you don’t get wrapped up in all this “beta” talk then so fucking what?
I know guys that have had their best man at their weddings be a previous partner of their wives. I’ve lived in small towns where everyone seems to have some sort of history with each other but people live very happy love-filled lives. Red pill would condemn your manhood if you were to put up with some of this stuff, others could see it as maturity.
It’s not in my make-up. My mind is very much traditional on these things. I couldn’t possibly say that couldn’t change a little if I met someone I thought enough of to alter what I thought were my non-negotiable values. It would be a folly to be so rigid.
A man sleeping around chased by a lot of women shows he has value.
A woman sleeping around is the exact opposite because women are the gatekeepers of sex. Women are the product, men are the consumers. It basics of supply and demand. This shatters all this modern feminism talk around sex that gets a lot of backs up but it is quite simply fact.
With that said, getting caught up in that stuff and sacrificing a real connection because of something that happened before you met isn’t “beta” or a lack of masculinity. It can take a different kind of strength, a different kind of emotional intelligence as life isn’t black and white like some video game where we’re just trying to level up our characters all the time.
So what we have now is a generation of men stifling themselves away from potential love because of “how things should be”, and a generation of women pushing them further away under the guise of empowerment. It’s a dire, dire situation.
