Hey great part about being an old fart:
Walk into department store, grab something you like, walk out. If you get caught, “aw I’m sorry son, I must have forgotten to pay! You forget things when you are my age”. Haha hell at least thats what I’m going to do…
That and hitting bratty kids with my cane that doubles as a flask.
It could happen to you.
It’s good to be back
[quote]Old Navy wrote:
For those off you who don’t know, that’s General Dwight David Eisenhower, Commanding General of all Allied Forces in the European Theatre in WWII, addressing the troops of the 82nd Airborne Division on the eve of the landings in Normandy…D Day…June 6th…1944. I was one years old.
[/quote]
Hey, Ancient Mariner! I “Love ya’ man”, but this old dogface must make a small correction (I’m sure most of you Soldiers caught it)…Those “Devils in baggy pants” are from the original (pre-Airmobile) 101st Airborne Division, the “Screaming Eagles” (known affectionately by fellow G.I.‘s as the "Pukin’ Buzzards") identified by the shoulder patch the center Para is wearing.
What’s really scary is that these dudes were meeting with Ike prior to a black dark, low level, terrifying night jump into enemy territory (For the “Cliff Notes” version for the interested, get the DVD of the film “The Longest Day”, based on the book by Cornelius Ryan/;-)…
old people drive way too fast. young people never do such crazy antics on the road.
f
[quote]Mousse wrote:
I swear old guys just fart anywhere, anytime and anyplace, as if it’s no biggie…even if a big mushroom cloud appears they act like nothing happened, wtf?[/quote]
I do that and Im 19. There is a special spot in heaven for my girlfriend.
Old people suck because old dudes have no modesty. They will shower at the gym, and then stand naked in the locker room shaving, with their nuts on the counter and their towel thrown over their shoulder.
They will also stand next to you and talk to you while you are tying your shoes so that you have to keep your eyes and nose closed to avoid seeing and smelling old man wang.
[quote]fightingtiger wrote:
Old people suck because old dudes have no modesty. They will shower at the gym, and then stand naked in the locker room shaving, with their nuts on the counter and their towel thrown over their shoulder.
[/quote]
And the young dudes that hide in the corner behind a locker door and wrapped with a towel (despite the fact that they didn’t shower at all) have too much? I don’t think modesty is the issue. If it were then the young dudes wouldn’t be walking around with their pants around their knees and boxer shorts hanging out.
On another topic about old dudes … one of the concierges in my apartment building was a doddering old guy. He smelled funny and could barely move. This spring he disappeared for a few weeks and when he showed up again, he had an oxygen tube up his nose. Still he sat at the desk doing his job. Last week he disappeared again. A couple of days later, his obit showed up in the elevator. He wasn’t always a doddering old guy.
It appears he served as a Republican state representative for six terms. His most recent term ended in 2006. He was born in Germany in 1923, and moved to the United States when he was a kid. He served in the US Army in anti-aircraft battalions during World War II.
He was at Omaha Beach (in the second wave) and the Battle of the Bulge. He was a millwright maintenance engineer and a master electrician. He was survived by his wife of 62 years, 2 daughters and many grandchildren.
As far as I’m concerned, he earned his right to be smelly, doddering, and maybe even immodest.
They drive at least 10 miles under the speed limit on the high way
With that said since I work at AAA I am told how they are scared of the high way (I think when these words come out of your mouth and there is not a string of axe murders on a high way near you your license should be taken away)
They get golden buckeye cards, I want a card that gives me free or cheap coffe among other stuff.
They go crazy and get lost
ps. I have no grudge against older people but the ones out there that no longer serve any good and do nothing but cause accidents on the highway, can’t remember who they are let alone there family, and do nothing but fill beds should be put out to pasture.
If any one says to speak for myself I am if I ever get to the age I can’t control my bowles and can no longer breath, walk, or function on my own I want a bottle of whisky and allowed to fade away.
Sometimes they suck in the sense that they motivate me to get my ass back in the gym.
I lift in NY, Patchogue Ultimate Fitness. There’s a guy in his 50s benching 400. Usually he’s there on the day that I get a PR and feel great… until he asks me to spot him.
Now my 305 feels like shit and all I can think of is wanting to have the top lifts in the gym. Thanks to all of the hard-core old guys out there.
BTW - please stop wearing those 1970s shorts!!!
[quote]Loose Tool wrote:
fightingtiger wrote:
Old people suck because old dudes have no modesty. They will shower at the gym, and then stand naked in the locker room shaving, with their nuts on the counter and their towel thrown over their shoulder.
And the young dudes that hide in the corner behind a locker door and wrapped with a towel (despite the fact that they didn’t shower at all) have too much? I don’t think modesty is the issue. If it were then the young dudes wouldn’t be walking around with their pants around their knees and boxer shorts hanging out.
On another topic about old dudes … one of the concierges in my apartment building was a doddering old guy. He smelled funny and could barely move. This spring he disappeared for a few weeks and when he showed up again, he had an oxygen tube up his nose. Still he sat at the desk doing his job. Last week he disappeared again. A couple of days later, his obit showed up in the elevator. He wasn’t always a doddering old guy.
It appears he served as a Republican state representative for six terms. His most recent term ended in 2006. He was born in Germany in 1923, and moved to the United States when he was a kid. He served in the US Army in anti-aircraft battalions during World War II.
He was at Omaha Beach (in the second wave) and the Battle of the Bulge. He was a millwright maintenance engineer and a master electrician. He was survived by his wife of 62 years, 2 daughters and many grandchildren.
As far as I’m concerned, he earned his right to be smelly, doddering, and maybe even immodest.
[/quote]
Its always neat to see and hear stories about what older people have experienced in their lifetimes. I work at a bank, so I get to hear a lot of interesting stories from our older patrons. Had a guy a few weeks ago who worked at the facilities where they built and tested the atom bombs. Im about 20 minutes from the Savannah River Site Facility, so there are a lot of retirees who worked at the plant back during that era that come in.
But I still dont like it when I walk in the locker room and there are old man balls sitting on the counter next to the sink where Im trying to wash my hands.
As an older person I only have this to say…
shit, what were we talking about again?
You are so right. My Bad! I knew that…but, I’m 64. Forgive an Old Navy man. Working at the ceremony as a Navy Commander, I was at Normandy on June 6, 1994 for the 50th Anniversary of the Landings. As the flyover was happening, at that moment, I reached down and scooped up a 35 mm film canister of sand from Omaha Beach. I still have it and think about that time each D-Day anniversary.
[quote]Old Navy wrote:
You are so right. My Bad! I knew that…but, I’m 64. Forgive an Old Navy man[/quote]
Nothing to forgive here, Ancient Mariner, just proud of the Buzzards is all/;-D…One aspect of the “longest day” that is overlooked are the U.S. Navy casualties: After all, who sailed in those landing craft and were prime targets of Nazi machinegun fire…
[quote]Bad John wrote:
You young people need to stop playing around on the internet and get back to work. Our social security is depending on it. In fact, you might consider getting a second job. We need the money. [/quote]
If you need more money, Wal-Mart is hiring greeters.
[quote]Headhunter wrote:
This is true. Altruism placed a value on ‘need’ and absence of character. It teaches that you destroy the strong and intelligent for the benefit of the lazy and stupid. Therefore each generation adopting this anti-morality is at a lower stage of dissolution.
Eventually, a dictatorship is required to keep the animals from tearing everything apart. Which is where we’re headed…
[/quote]
Old people can’t stop talking politics, even when it isn’t appropriate to the conversation…
Spare us the crazy theories you crazy old man or we’ll put you in a home!
[quote]vroom wrote:
Headhunter wrote:
This is true. Altruism placed a value on ‘need’ and absence of character. It teaches that you destroy the strong and intelligent for the benefit of the lazy and stupid. Therefore each generation adopting this anti-morality is at a lower stage of dissolution.
Eventually, a dictatorship is required to keep the animals from tearing everything apart. Which is where we’re headed…
Old people can’t stop talking politics, even when it isn’t appropriate to the conversation…
Spare us the crazy theories you crazy old man or we’ll put you in a home![/quote]
I think he is in one. For some reason they let him have computer access.
Im 31, i am getting old too, most of my hair is grey, and noone loves me anymore =)
hello everyone! =)
[quote]Old Navy wrote:
Or, at 61, they compete in their first bodybuilding competition.
Then, in the next three years, they compete in 19 more contests, win 38 trophies in their Age class and in the Open classes against the young kids, win a World Championship (in their age class), win three Best Poser awards against the young kids on stage, win three Master Pro Cards, compete in their first Pro show at 64, judge shows in three different federations, earn two Personal Trainer Certifications, run an Internet-based Distance Training Business and Promote the FAME WNSO U.S. Masters Nationals next November in Miami.
Age is a statistic, not a burden. And remember, my son, you will become “old” soon enough. What you do with your “age” will determine how you grow old. At 64, I’m still kicking butt.
I am training for my next show a week from now, where I will compete in the Open Men’s Lightweight Class and the Masters 60+ Class. It’s a Pro Qualifier and I am going to try to win both the Open Lightweight Class and the Masters. Care to step onto the stage with this OLD MAN?[/quote]
class my seasond friend, sheer class.
Important things to know about old people.
When an old woman takes off her bra, it pulls the wrinkles out of her face.
The reason all old people drive slow is because all the fast driving ones are dead.
Sex improves when the wife can take out her dentures.
Want to keep the woman satisfied? Rigor mortis.
Lots of sex with senile women at the home.
Senility excuses everything.
You get to tell the grandkids how bad their parents were.
Thick juicy steak. (Sorry, I’m getting hungry.)
A severely humped back means the guy can finally reach it.
Great thread guys, some really funny stuff! Now that I qualify as an old guy, 46, growing older has been great. Having kids and watching them grow up is cool. I’m in better shape, bigger and stronger now than when I was in my 20’s. Still have a strong desire to play, and now I have the money to afford the toys. If I could live another 40 or 50 years, that would be cool. As long as I stay resonably healthy, and mobile, and not too smelly.