Good Morning, Dr. Silberman. How's the Knee?

Training Training Logs
141

[quote]Spock81 wrote:
I am going to say this at a convenient moment
“Oh, hey so, umm, you don’t have to and you probably don’t want to, but if maybe you did sorta, um, want to sometime or something you could ask for my number”

AWESOME, EH? I’ve been rehearsing that in my head since yesterday.
[/quote]
Terrible! You’re playing yourself down for one thing, but also you make it sound like he should have already asked for your number but hasn’t and now you’re gonna wait till he fixes his mistake! He’ll already be feeling like he messed things up! Just give him your number on a little note and say “Call me sometime if you wanna hang out.” or something like that. Man brain science at work.

142

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]Spock81 wrote:
I am going to say this at a convenient moment
“Oh, hey so, umm, you don’t have to and you probably don’t want to, but if maybe you did sorta, um, want to sometime or something you could ask for my number”

AWESOME, EH? I’ve been rehearsing that in my head since yesterday.
[/quote]
Terrible! You’re playing yourself down for one thing, but also you make it sound like he should have already asked for your number but hasn’t and now you’re gonna wait till he fixes his mistake! He’ll already be feeling like he messed things up! Just give him your number on a little note and say “Call me sometime if you wanna hang out.” or something like that. Man brain science at work.[/quote]

This

143

Just ask him to go to Timmy’s with you for a coffee, Spock.

That would work for me.

144

I CAN"T DO THAT $(#$(#%($!!!

I can’t act as if I KNOW I wont get rejected!!!
CAN I do nothing and wait for him to do something instead?

145

[quote]Spock81 wrote:
I CAN"T DO THAT $(#$(#%($!!!

I can’t act as if I KNOW I wont get rejected!!!
[/quote]

Look Jenn.

Yes you can.

Just give him your number. Tell him to call you sometime.

If he doesn’t, it’s HIS loss.

[quote]Spock81 wrote:
CAN I do nothing and wait for him to do something instead?[/quote]

Yes, you can choose that path. But come on…

If you want something happen, make it happen.

146

[quote]Spock81 wrote:

[quote]TheJonty wrote:
With a name like that he’s probably awesome.[/quote]

LOL[/quote]

inside joke high five

147

[quote]Spock81 wrote:
I CAN"T DO THAT $(#$(#%($!!!

I can’t act as if I KNOW I wont get rejected!!!
CAN I do nothing and wait for him to do something instead?[/quote]

Totally you can! Holy shit woman, look how awesome you are! You need to quit thinking so negative and just expect that you deserve more than you’ve been getting these past years–and then you gotta act on it!

  1. Good men like women who act confident, even if they’re not all the time and it’s an actress in a movie thing, it’s still attractive to a guy with balls…it’s same thing women like right? Yes? They like men who are confident yes? Yes they do. Well, we like women who are confident, stand their ground, and are nice. It’s hard to find all 3, but it’s worth it. Too many times you get girls who are confident but entitled bitches, which I personally don’t ever deal with.

I literally tell them to lose my number. I got no time for bullshit like that. Then there are girls who are the opposite, and I love those girls…but they often get taken advantage by others of because they are so nice but not confident, or won’t stand up for themselves…and I hate to see that happen and you are sick of letting that happen to yourself! So don’t set yourself up to repeat the same old patterns.

  1. If you’re confident and it’s too much for him then he was a damn sissy anyways and it’s way better to know right now than to waste more time before figuring out he doesn’t deserve you. Like I said above "guys with balls " like chicks who can be confident–confidence is sexy no matter who you are.

  2. It’s just an act :). Who cares if you don’t think this way in real life? You’re acting out a movie role–the role calls for you to portray confidence. Guys do this all the time sometimes. Also, if you want to change something about yourself you have to work on it even when it feels awkward and fake right? …You learned that with working out and losing fat didn’t you? :slight_smile: Same thing applies in life too! It’s not easy, but it sets you up for success.

  3. Even if it doesn’t work out for this guy–the new pattern, the new behavior, the new confidence will make guys take notice no matter if you’re at the grocery store or the job. I’m going to tell you something I’ve not told many people–and as far as I know have never let slip on the internet at all for the reason that it’s nobody’s fucking business to know about my personal life or history, but it’s true and you need to hear it:

So when I was first getting into training, I was small and weak of course. I read somewhere in the first year of training that how you walk and how you physically posture yourself controls not just how people see you (which is obvious) but actually can alter your own mentality and even hormone profiles. I made the decision to test that out and start carrying myself higher–not swagger mind you but just a normal, heads-up, square shoulder walk. Literally “fake it til you got it” syndrome. Except it worked over time.

It was awful. It was horrible and it was awkward cuz I never did that before. I’d fight pretty much daily to not slip back into my old posture, and I always knew it was an act and I wasn’t that person…but nobody else did. You wouldn’t believe how many people I used to walk right past day after day on campus suddenly looked at me or talked to me, greeted me, “hey is there something different about you?” YOURE A FUCKING RIGHT THERE IS!! But I didn’t say that of course. More women actually came up and talked to me (I got hit on by the captain of the NCAA Div 1 women’s basketball squad one night…very cute blonde my size. And not like a random blacked-out drunk hit on, like she talked to me for about 2 hours)

I was still skinny (like, 70 lbs ago), and still unconfident, and still a nerd. But just the willpower to force myself to walk like–and eventually act like-- I knew my own worth changed everything. And eventually I DID realize my own worth :P. Let’s not forget that part lol, but it was a process that took deliberate and willed effort to not back down from.

  1. You already told bald guy’s friend that you had a crush on him–90/100 bald guy knows this because his friend told him. So he already knows you like him–so this means it is time to set YOUR standards that HE needs to live up to. And if he doesn’t–or doesn’t pursue, or tries to mentally screw with you–well, go looking for other guys. Go back to that old log post earlier this page and say “it’s his loss, his lameness, guys need to chase me for a change dammit”. And repeat until you believe it :slight_smile:

Actually, it might be a good thing for you to simply go start working on other guys as soon as you hand bald guy your number–it’ll distract you from overthinking and you can easily get a guy interested even if you’re not interested in him, just start a conversation with other boys. Sometimes it might surprise you if you just start friendly conversations for no reason other than to have a chat–no motive.

Come on Jenn!

148

[quote]2busy wrote:

[quote]Spock81 wrote:
I CAN"T DO THAT $(#$(#%($!!!

I can’t act as if I KNOW I wont get rejected!!!
[/quote]

Look Jenn.

Yes you can.

Just give him your number. Tell him to call you sometime.

If he doesn’t, it’s HIS loss.

[quote]Spock81 wrote:
CAN I do nothing and wait for him to do something instead?[/quote]

Yes, you can choose that path. But come on…

If you want something happen, make it happen.[/quote]

Super mega ultra like. Quoted for truth, and being way less rambling and way more concise than my monstrosity of a post lol.

Just do this Jenn, and don’t look back–if he doesn’t act on it it’s HIS loss not yours because you are now too cool to wait on a boy. And you will be too busy finding new conversations with other boys, just for fun not for hitting on.

149

[quote]Aragorn wrote:

[quote]Spock81 wrote:
I CAN"T DO THAT $(#$(#%($!!!

I can’t act as if I KNOW I wont get rejected!!!
CAN I do nothing and wait for him to do something instead?[/quote]

Totally you can! Holy shit woman, look how awesome you are! You need to quit thinking so negative and just expect that you deserve more than you’ve been getting these past years–and then you gotta act on it!

  1. Good men like women who act confident, even if they’re not all the time and it’s an actress in a movie thing, it’s still attractive to a guy with balls…it’s same thing women like right? Yes? They like men who are confident yes? Yes they do. Well, we like women who are confident, stand their ground, and are nice. It’s hard to find all 3, but it’s worth it. Too many times you get girls who are confident but entitled bitches, which I personally don’t ever deal with.

I literally tell them to lose my number. I got no time for bullshit like that. Then there are girls who are the opposite, and I love those girls…but they often get taken advantage by others of because they are so nice but not confident, or won’t stand up for themselves…and I hate to see that happen and you are sick of letting that happen to yourself! So don’t set yourself up to repeat the same old patterns.

  1. If you’re confident and it’s too much for him then he was a damn sissy anyways and it’s way better to know right now than to waste more time before figuring out he doesn’t deserve you. Like I said above "guys with balls " like chicks who can be confident–confidence is sexy no matter who you are.

  2. It’s just an act :). Who cares if you don’t think this way in real life? You’re acting out a movie role–the role calls for you to portray confidence. Guys do this all the time sometimes. Also, if you want to change something about yourself you have to work on it even when it feels awkward and fake right? …You learned that with working out and losing fat didn’t you? :slight_smile: Same thing applies in life too! It’s not easy, but it sets you up for success.

  3. Even if it doesn’t work out for this guy–the new pattern, the new behavior, the new confidence will make guys take notice no matter if you’re at the grocery store or the job. I’m going to tell you something I’ve not told many people–and as far as I know have never let slip on the internet at all for the reason that it’s nobody’s fucking business to know about my personal life or history, but it’s true and you need to hear it:

So when I was first getting into training, I was small and weak of course. I read somewhere in the first year of training that how you walk and how you physically posture yourself controls not just how people see you (which is obvious) but actually can alter your own mentality and even hormone profiles. I made the decision to test that out and start carrying myself higher–not swagger mind you but just a normal, heads-up, square shoulder walk. Literally “fake it til you got it” syndrome. Except it worked over time.

It was awful. It was horrible and it was awkward cuz I never did that before. I’d fight pretty much daily to not slip back into my old posture, and I always knew it was an act and I wasn’t that person…but nobody else did. You wouldn’t believe how many people I used to walk right past day after day on campus suddenly looked at me or talked to me, greeted me, “hey is there something different about you?” YOURE A FUCKING RIGHT THERE IS!! But I didn’t say that of course. More women actually came up and talked to me (I got hit on by the captain of the NCAA Div 1 women’s basketball squad one night…very cute blonde my size. And not like a random blacked-out drunk hit on, like she talked to me for about 2 hours)

I was still skinny (like, 70 lbs ago), and still unconfident, and still a nerd. But just the willpower to force myself to walk like–and eventually act like-- I knew my own worth changed everything. And eventually I DID realize my own worth :P. Let’s not forget that part lol, but it was a process that took deliberate and willed effort to not back down from.

  1. You already told bald guy’s friend that you had a crush on him–90/100 bald guy knows this because his friend told him. So he already knows you like him–so this means it is time to set YOUR standards that HE needs to live up to. And if he doesn’t–or doesn’t pursue, or tries to mentally screw with you–well, go looking for other guys. Go back to that old log post earlier this page and say “it’s his loss, his lameness, guys need to chase me for a change dammit”. And repeat until you believe it :slight_smile:

Actually, it might be a good thing for you to simply go start working on other guys as soon as you hand bald guy your number–it’ll distract you from overthinking and you can easily get a guy interested even if you’re not interested in him, just start a conversation with other boys. Sometimes it might surprise you if you just start friendly conversations for no reason other than to have a chat–no motive.

Come on Jenn![/quote]

Wow, great post Aragorn. Either. I agree with everything you just wrote or your Jedi-pseudo-confidence just worked on me :b

150

[quote]2busy wrote:

[quote]Spock81 wrote:
I CAN"T DO THAT $(#$(#%($!!!

I can’t act as if I KNOW I wont get rejected!!!
[/quote]

Look Jenn.

Yes you can.

Just give him your number. Tell him to call you sometime.

If he doesn’t, it’s HIS loss.

[quote]Spock81 wrote:
CAN I do nothing and wait for him to do something instead?[/quote]

Yes, you can choose that path. But come on…

If you want something happen, make it happen.[/quote]

Yes yes and yes

Also to aragorn’s fake it till you make it there is a great Ted talks on the whole posture ect ect. Very good and informative. And the shit works.

151

Your workout’s seem impressive, but like others on here, I find your tales of masturbation,self-loathing,OCD,with manic highs and lows a riveting read. Seems simple solution to other posts on here.
?Spock gets crush ? obsessively pines after said guy ?Create a small enough connection ?offer up sex in lack of an actual personal connection ?downward spiral afterwards ?and Repeat the cycle

154

[quote]Reality Star wrote:
Your workout’s seem impressive, but like others on here, I find your tales of masturbation,self-loathing,OCD,with manic highs and lows a riveting read. Seems simple solution to other posts on here.
?Spock gets crush ? obsessively pines after said guy ?Create a small enough connection ?offer up sex in lack of an actual personal connection ?downward spiral afterwards ?and Repeat the cycle

[/quote]

Nonononono. That is not fair.

Accurate, but I’m still saying not fair.

I don’t know how anyone could possibly relate or understand, but I have seriously been rejected by every single boy I’ve ever wanted in my entire life. If I only slept with people who were willing to date me then I’d be a virgin. And how can anyone expect me to muster up the confidence when all I’ve ever heard is excuses as to why people don’t want to be with me?

Some people I like are willing to fuck me, but nobody is ever willing to be in a relationship with me. I would find it very hard to turn down sex, even with the stipulation that there was not going to be a commitment, because it only comes around once every 1 or 2 years.

I just get so lonely, why would I pass up the seldom opportunity’s that I have?
And I am a stupid girl who thinks that if I can get a guy to sleep with me then I can get him to fall in love with me because I just truly believe that if I could get a guy to talk to me and get to know me, that he would love me because I have wonderfully endearing thing to say. It’s just that no one ever gives me the fucking time of day to listen.

I don’t know why that is. I can just keep blaming it on the lousy guys I pick, but honestly all the guys I have chosen have been completely different from one another. I met them all in different places, they all had totally different personalities, interests, appearances, etc, but in the end they all ended up treating me the same. How was I supposed to know none of them were quality men? I had real feelings for them all.
I don’t sleep around with strangers, even though everything ends up being just a one night stand. I truly cared for them all. They just did not care for me.
One guy I slept with I was in love with from the time that I was 13 years old. We were bestest friends in the whole damn world, and when we were in our twenties he still ended up doing the fuck and dump thing to me. That’s not right, that just doesn’t seem right. I feel like I get a raw deal.

But I do not believe all I am worthy of is fucking without love. I guess I am just not very good at this whole boy thing, but I guess that’s been obvious since the very first post I ever made on this fucking website years ago.

Oh well, I don’t even know if I have a point. Typing makes me feel better.

////\\\ end pity party \\/////

155

[quote]Spock81 wrote:

[quote]Reality Star wrote:
Your workout’s seem impressive, but like others on here, I find your tales of masturbation,self-loathing,OCD,with manic highs and lows a riveting read. Seems simple solution to other posts on here.
?Spock gets crush ? obsessively pines after said guy ?Create a small enough connection ?offer up sex in lack of an actual personal connection ?downward spiral afterwards ?and Repeat the cycle

[/quote]

Nonononono. That is not fair.

Accurate, but I’m still saying not fair.

I don’t know how anyone could possibly relate or understand, but I have seriously been rejected by every single boy I’ve ever wanted in my entire life. If I only slept with people who were willing to date me then I’d be a virgin. And how can anyone expect me to muster up the confidence when all I’ve ever heard is excuses as to why people don’t want to be with me?

Some people I like are willing to fuck me, but nobody is ever willing to be in a relationship with me. I would find it very hard to turn down sex, even with the stipulation that there was not going to be a commitment, because it only comes around once every 1 or 2 years.

I just get so lonely, why would I pass up the seldom opportunity’s that I have?
And I am a stupid girl who thinks that if I can get a guy to sleep with me then I can get him to fall in love with me because I just truly believe that if I could get a guy to talk to me and get to know me, that he would love me because I have wonderfully endearing thing to say. It’s just that no one ever gives me the fucking time of day to listen.

I don’t know why that is. I can just keep blaming it on the lousy guys I pick, but honestly all the guys I have chosen have been completely different from one another. I met them all in different places, they all had totally different personalities, interests, appearances, etc, but in the end they all ended up treating me the same. How was I supposed to know none of them were quality men? I had real feelings for them all.
I don’t sleep around with strangers, even though everything ends up being just a one night stand. I truly cared for them all. They just did not care for me.
One guy I slept with I was in love with from the time that I was 13 years old. We were bestest friends in the whole damn world, and when we were in our twenties he still ended up doing the fuck and dump thing to me. That’s not right, that just doesn’t seem right. I feel like I get a raw deal.

But I do not believe all I am worthy of is fucking without love. I guess I am just not very good at this whole boy thing, but I guess that’s been obvious since the very first post I ever made on this fucking website years ago.

Oh well, I don’t even know if I have a point. Typing makes me feel better.

////\\\ end pity party \\/////[/quote]

You seem like a very emotional person, just a conclusion out of reading your logs for…a handful of months. I don’t know you, but you are very eccentric and peculiar, and your run of the mill guy just wants a girl that emulates a punching bag with tits and a tight moist hole he can bury some bioorganic burdens into.

I believe whether it takes 10 years or a few days, you shall find a male who will give you what you need.

156

[quote]Spock81 wrote:

[quote]Reality Star wrote:
Your workout’s seem impressive, but like others on here, I find your tales of masturbation,self-loathing,OCD,with manic highs and lows a riveting read. Seems simple solution to other posts on here.
?Spock gets crush ? obsessively pines after said guy ?Create a small enough connection ?offer up sex in lack of an actual personal connection ?downward spiral afterwards ?and Repeat the cycle

[/quote]

Nonononono. That is not fair.

Accurate, but I’m still saying not fair.

I don’t know how anyone could possibly relate or understand, but I have seriously been rejected by every single boy I’ve ever wanted in my entire life. If I only slept with people who were willing to date me then I’d be a virgin. And how can anyone expect me to muster up the confidence when all I’ve ever heard is excuses as to why people don’t want to be with me?

Some people I like are willing to fuck me, but nobody is ever willing to be in a relationship with me. I would find it very hard to turn down sex, even with the stipulation that there was not going to be a commitment, because it only comes around once every 1 or 2 years.

I just get so lonely, why would I pass up the seldom opportunity’s that I have?
And I am a stupid girl who thinks that if I can get a guy to sleep with me then I can get him to fall in love with me because I just truly believe that if I could get a guy to talk to me and get to know me, that he would love me because I have wonderfully endearing thing to say. It’s just that no one ever gives me the fucking time of day to listen.

I don’t know why that is. I can just keep blaming it on the lousy guys I pick, but honestly all the guys I have chosen have been completely different from one another. I met them all in different places, they all had totally different personalities, interests, appearances, etc, but in the end they all ended up treating me the same. How was I supposed to know none of them were quality men? I had real feelings for them all.
I don’t sleep around with strangers, even though everything ends up being just a one night stand. I truly cared for them all. They just did not care for me.
One guy I slept with I was in love with from the time that I was 13 years old. We were bestest friends in the whole damn world, and when we were in our twenties he still ended up doing the fuck and dump thing to me. That’s not right, that just doesn’t seem right. I feel like I get a raw deal.

But I do not believe all I am worthy of is fucking without love. I guess I am just not very good at this whole boy thing, but I guess that’s been obvious since the very first post I ever made on this fucking website years ago.

Oh well, I don’t even know if I have a point. Typing makes me feel better.

////\\\ end pity party \\/////[/quote]

After reading all of your lighthearted and eccentric posts this one made me feel a bit upset tbh (lol?)

You obviously deserve so much better than you’ve had so far judging by everything I’ve read and I agree with vinny, the right guy is out there somewhere for you. A man who will see and appreciate you for who you are.

BUT

When I read about you falling for the guy who was very vocal about his conquests etc my first thought was you deserve better than that. I know you can’t help who you fall for and I don’t know the guy, but anyone who acts as the man you described sounds like a bit of a douche to me and I don’t think he’d be any good for you * What do I know, I don’t even know you! <Fair point

NO JUDGEMENT INTENDED KLAXON From what I have learned, any man that you give it up to without too much of a fight will have little respect for you in the long run. Any man that deserves to be with you will wait. END NO JUDGEMENT KLAXON

157

[quote]Reality Star wrote:
Your workout’s seem impressive, but like others on here, I find your tales of masturbation,self-loathing,OCD,with manic highs and lows a riveting read. Seems simple solution to other posts on here.
?Spock gets crush ? obsessively pines after said guy ?Create a small enough connection ?offer up sex in lack of an actual personal connection ?downward spiral afterwards ?and Repeat the cycle

[/quote]

I don’t like you.

158

[quote]lemony2j wrote:

[quote]Spock81 wrote:

[quote]Reality Star wrote:
Your workout’s seem impressive, but like others on here, I find your tales of masturbation,self-loathing,OCD,with manic highs and lows a riveting read. Seems simple solution to other posts on here.
?Spock gets crush ? obsessively pines after said guy ?Create a small enough connection ?offer up sex in lack of an actual personal connection ?downward spiral afterwards ?and Repeat the cycle

[/quote]

Nonononono. That is not fair.

Accurate, but I’m still saying not fair.

I don’t know how anyone could possibly relate or understand, but I have seriously been rejected by every single boy I’ve ever wanted in my entire life. If I only slept with people who were willing to date me then I’d be a virgin. And how can anyone expect me to muster up the confidence when all I’ve ever heard is excuses as to why people don’t want to be with me?

Some people I like are willing to fuck me, but nobody is ever willing to be in a relationship with me. I would find it very hard to turn down sex, even with the stipulation that there was not going to be a commitment, because it only comes around once every 1 or 2 years.

I just get so lonely, why would I pass up the seldom opportunity’s that I have?
And I am a stupid girl who thinks that if I can get a guy to sleep with me then I can get him to fall in love with me because I just truly believe that if I could get a guy to talk to me and get to know me, that he would love me because I have wonderfully endearing thing to say. It’s just that no one ever gives me the fucking time of day to listen.

I don’t know why that is. I can just keep blaming it on the lousy guys I pick, but honestly all the guys I have chosen have been completely different from one another. I met them all in different places, they all had totally different personalities, interests, appearances, etc, but in the end they all ended up treating me the same. How was I supposed to know none of them were quality men? I had real feelings for them all.
I don’t sleep around with strangers, even though everything ends up being just a one night stand. I truly cared for them all. They just did not care for me.
One guy I slept with I was in love with from the time that I was 13 years old. We were bestest friends in the whole damn world, and when we were in our twenties he still ended up doing the fuck and dump thing to me. That’s not right, that just doesn’t seem right. I feel like I get a raw deal.

But I do not believe all I am worthy of is fucking without love. I guess I am just not very good at this whole boy thing, but I guess that’s been obvious since the very first post I ever made on this fucking website years ago.

Oh well, I don’t even know if I have a point. Typing makes me feel better.

////\\\ end pity party \\/////[/quote]

After reading all of your lighthearted and eccentric posts this one made me feel a bit upset tbh (lol?)

You obviously deserve so much better than you’ve had so far judging by everything I’ve read and I agree with vinny, the right guy is out there somewhere for you. A man who will see and appreciate you for who you are.

BUT

When I read about you falling for the guy who was very vocal about his conquests etc my first thought was you deserve better than that. I know you can’t help who you fall for and I don’t know the guy, but anyone who acts as the man you described sounds like a bit of a douche to me and I don’t think he’d be any good for you * What do I know, I don’t even know you! <Fair point

NO JUDGEMENT INTENDED KLAXON From what I have learned, any man that you give it up to without too much of a fight will have little respect for you in the long run. Any man that deserves to be with you will wait. END NO JUDGEMENT KLAXON
[/quote]

Well stated. Can’t add much. There is a guy out there guaranteed that will appreciate you and understand you. Takes some looking normally. Just keep your head up be confident about yourself and who you are enjoy life. It will happen don’t rush it. Also the caring for guys and making them fall for you made me think of Will Farells character in step brothers and his psychologist.

159

Move to Tennessee; I’ll take you on a date lol. We could go to comic-con together haha!