[quote]Spock81 wrote:
[quote]MightyMouse17 wrote:
Shes just jealous of dat squat booty.[/quote]
LOL
NATHAN, how ya been bro?![/quote]
Sorry, just now noticed this. Im doing quite better now. Got a new job for the city that I start soon.
[quote]Spock81 wrote:
And anger is not good for my cortisol levels, but I feel angry.
[/quote]
Unfortunately…
Your cortisol levels seemed to be tied to the Oilers success…
They lost to the Penguins the same day you posted this.
I can sympathize, I pay a lot of child support and my ex is doing everything she can to keep my kids from seeing me.
[quote]American_Muscle wrote:
Hey, first time poster on your log. I’ve lurked the site for a while now and I am somewhat familiar with all the stuff you’ve been through. From what I’ve read lately it seems like you’re in a good place right now which is great! Anyway I’ve always been very impressed with your volume and lack of rest days. Although I think I know exactly how you feel, I love being in the gym, its the best kind of therapy and stress relief I can imagine.
I wanted to make one point when it comes to the anxiety you’re talking about. I’ve always worried a lot, about everything. I kind of had a little epiphany the other day. Its obviously not practical to ignore the future or try to completely put it out of your mind. But I’ve developed a mindset when it comes to worry or anxiety. The mindset is to be prepared for the future, but don’t worry about it. Like if I have a very difficult exam coming up, I’ll study and prepare for it, but I won’t let myself worry about it. Because if I’m prepared for it, then I don’t have to worry. That might not seem like much, but it really clicks for me. So when your struggling with worry or anxiety you might want to give this a try. [/quote]
Heyyyyyy! Thanks for stopping by! I always like hearing about different ways to kinda “trick” your mind out of anxiety.
Most of thoughts/worries are very irrational, so something I’ve started doing recently is when I can tell I’m about to have a panic attack, I quickly tell myself “no, I will worry about this when it actually happens.” And it seems to dissipate it for the most part.
I’m not saying to myself like "NO JENN! You are not allowed to feel anxious! More just like, okay, let’s reserve this anxiety for the actual moment when shit is going down, and because everything I think is so absurd, there never actually comes a time when I have to deal with the reality !
[quote]2busy wrote:
[quote]Spock81 wrote:
And anger is not good for my cortisol levels, but I feel angry.
[/quote]
I can sympathize, I pay a lot of child support and my ex is doing everything she can to keep my kids from seeing me.
[/quote]
Sorry to hear about that buddy!
It’s no fun at all to deal with that kind of crap…
K so obviously I did NOT actually take a day off from the gym today, BUT YA’LL PROBABLY KNEW THAT 
!
K bench
85lbs x 10
95lbs x 10
105lbs x 10
110lbs x 10
*Paused bench
115lbs x 2 sets of 4
120lbs x 3
125lbs x 2 sets of 2
Incline bench
95lbs x 5
95lbs x 5
95lbs x 5
1 drop set
75lbs x 14
DB Incline press SS plate squeeze
35lbs/10lbs
x 8/30
37.5lbs/10lbs
x 8/30
x 8/30
x 8/30
Pec fly machine
60lbs
x 20
x 20
x 20
1 drop
x 10 + 10 partials
ropey tri ext.
3 x 10 + 10 partials
reverse D handle tri ext.
3 x 12 *arm
DB tri overhead ext. thingie
25lbs
4 x 8
two arm DB tri ext drop set
x 8/10/12/15
DONE
had a shorter workout today instead of just taking a rest day 
Why on earth would I ever not want to go to the gym on a bench day…
WHAT WAS I THINKING?
My eye can twitch FOREVER for all I care. Ain’t no-booooddyy or Noooooooooothing is keepin’ me from my barbells…
So, right…
Few exciting things:
Monster trucks tomorrow !!!
and I got 45 dollars in gift cert. for ITunes from work yesterday for doin’ good shit.
Now, I know lots of people hate iTunes, but the thought of being able to waste 45 dollars buying gems in Plants VS zombies is very exciting to me…
K THAT’S ALL
OH no, I am behind on Lyric corner
AH
AHhhh
BEY
BYE
As for the comment a few pages back “that you realize that you burned a few bridges”.
No, you really did not.
You got some flak* because of some some stuff you did but thats no different from busting some dudes balls because he does stupid stuff.
Its not like we hold a grudge or anything…
Like girls would.
*Fliegerabwehrkanone
[quote]orion wrote:
As for the comment a few pages back “that you realize that you burned a few bridges”.
No, you really did not.
You got some flak* because of some some stuff you did but thats no different from busting some dudes balls because he does stupid stuff.
Its not like we hold a grudge or anything…
Like girls would.
*Fliegerabwehrkanone[/quote]
BUDDY!!! :D:D:D:D!!!
HIIIII
K SQ’s
Squats
95lbs x 2 sets of 8
115lbs x 5
135lbs x 5
145lbs x 3
155lbs x 3
165lbs x 3
170lbs x 3
175lbs x 3
175lbs x 3 <–It was so fun the first time I decided to do it again !
3 drop sets
145lbs x 8
125lbs x 6*paused + 6 normal
115lbs x 20
Hack squat machine
45lbs per side x 10
55lbs per side x 10
65lbs per side x 10
35lbs per side x 10 1&1/2 reps
ass machine
100lbs x 12 + 12 partials ass
120lbs x 10 + 10 partials ass
150lbs x 8ass
165lbs x 6ass
seated leg press drop sets, or strip sets, whatevaaaa
started @ 230lbs and dropped to some weight or another
x 8, 8, 8, 8, 10, 10, 20
PAIN
I ENDURED
Uhmmmmm
single leg ext.
50lbs
x 8leg
x 8leg
x 8leg
x 8leg
1 set where I held one leg and did reps on the other
so x 10*leg of those…
seated leg curl rest/pause set
55lbs
x 20, 15, 12, 10, 8, 6 + 6 partials
leg spreader
70lbs x 10*held + 10 normal + 10 partials + 10 more partials x 2 sets of that <—
calf raises x 15
leg spreader
170lbs
2 x 6
stability ball hip thrusts
x 50
Awesome as always !
I was so excited to redeem my iTunes gift cards last night. I made my kid go for pre bed snuggle time like 20 mins early so we could get rowdy on the Ipad, LOL.
The options were endless !!!
But in the end all I purchased (so far) was the pea-nut in plants VS zombies. It’s attack and defense, bitches!
Whoop
N E WAY, I should probably go…
OH! I am going to post a leg pic to terrify you all with …
BYE
K YAHHH
I once had just some stubby blobs of fat, now I have stubby blobs mixed with some cool bulge shit.
#DBZhoodie
hot legs
WOoooooooooooooooo
K back
Deadlifts
135lbs x 6
175lbs x 4
185lbs x 4
205lbs x 2
215lbs x 2
220lbs x 2
230lbs x 1 <— this could have easily been a double if it wasn’t for GRIP issues, grissues…
switched to mix grip
230lbs x 2
235lbs x 2
back to hook grip
165lbs x 4 sets of 8
K so I think for my final heaviest sets I’ll still use mix grip, cause not being able to pick shit up just because of my stupid tiny hands really pisses me off…
And it’s like I’m saving my secret weapon for the bitter end when it really matters.
Oh, ok, all she has is a PP7, no threat.
WRONG BITCHES
I HAVE A GOLDEN GUN!!!
All that supper setted with neutral grip pull ups
SUPPER SETTED
x 10
x 8
x 8
x 8
Military press
75lbs x 8
75lbs x 8
hammer strength iso row
neutral grip
45lbs per side x 12arm
75lbs per side x 10arm
80lbs per side x 10arm
80lbs per side x 10arm
smith machine bent over row SS two arm DB row
20lbs per side/25lbs
x 8/20
x 8/20
x 8/20
x 8/20
ummmm
Oh ropey bicep curl
3 x 10
1 drop
x 10 + 10 partials
BB curl
50lbs
2 x 8
stop set hammer curlz
25lbs x 7
20lbs x 6
15lbs x 8
10lbs x 12
Oh and by stop set I meant drop set…
back ext.
x 20
REally awesome.
I feel like maybe even as soon as march I can be at a 250lbs pull.
WE’LL SEE!!
Right so:
A while ago there was this bodybuilder guy that approached me at the gym and started chatting me up, etc…
We both agreed that it was really annoying when people skipped and did jumping jacks between sets and whatnot. So we got along, basically.
He found me on facebook and messaged me and then TXTed me and wanted to hang out and so on and so fourth.
At this time I was still being fucked by M*$#Hall, so his advances didn’t excite me too much. Also, I wasn’t interested regardless.
SO I kinda said like, listen I am a hermit and I don’t really know if I’ll be able to get out of that funk anytime soon.
It went away (sort of), but he still tXted me and stuff, but then (!)
I posted some sad sack status about why the Eff can’t guys see my wonderful through the crazy. MAINLY because Ma#*(!@(@*Allll was being an ass hole (again) and I was feeling sad
Then he texted me like I SAW YOUR WONDERFUL AND YOU DIDNT CARE WAHBLAH BLAH!
I didn’t know what to say back because, EEP!
Then he decided he hated me, LOL.
He would not even acknowledge me at the gym anymore and if I tried to smile or something I got naddda. ALSO, I would see him in other various locations and he would pretend like he didn’t even know me.
I didn’t really like being at the gym at the same time as him cause I could feel his hatred piercing my soul, LOL @ DRAMATIC !
But NE WAY
Not a big deal
This story has a very boring ending, but today he brought eye candy with him to work out.
Like one of those chicks that’s super tanned and wears a lot of make up to the gym because she pretty much only goes there to look at herself in the mirror?
You kNOW WHO I’m talkin’ 'bout.
Ya, he brought her.
And I thought,
Hmm
Yeah, this doesn’t bother me in the slightest.
Honestly, more concerned about my bleeding thumbs right now to give a flying fuck.
So the point of this story is, I guess, heavy lifting replaces boys.
HAHA
KBYE
[quote]Spock81 wrote:
Oh, ok, all she has is a PP7, no threat.
WRONG BITCHES
I HAVE A GOLDEN GUN!!![/quote]
You were the type of person who picked Oddjob, weren’t you?
[quote]Spock81 wrote:
So the point of this story is, I guess, heavy lifting replaces boys.
[/quote]
facepalm
Your cortisol levels must be down because the Oilers beat the Devils last night.
[quote]TheJonty wrote:
[quote]Spock81 wrote:
Oh, ok, all she has is a PP7, no threat.
WRONG BITCHES
I HAVE A GOLDEN GUN!!![/quote]
You were the type of person who picked Oddjob, weren’t you?
[quote]Spock81 wrote:
So the point of this story is, I guess, heavy lifting replaces boys.
[/quote]
facepalm[/quote]
ACTUALLY, my brother and I had a rule that no one was ever allowed to be Oddjob, so there
K shoulder
's
Cable rear delt fly
2nd pin
5 x 20 (diff. pin heights for each set)
Military press
75lbs x 5
80lbs x 5
85lbs x 5 sets of 5
Seated DB press super setted one arm lat raise
30lbs/15lbs
x 10/12arm
x 10/12arm
x 10/12arm
x 10/12arm
seated neutral grip shoulder press machine
I guess it didn’t need to say it’s seated and a machine
Machine shoulder press neutral grip
40lbs x 8
50lbs x 8
55lbs x 8
60lbs x 8
drop sets
30lbs x 10 *slow neg + 10 partials
20lbs x 12
facepulls super setted with DB rear delt fly
25lbs/7.5lbs
x 15/15
x 15/15
x 15/15
bent arm lateral raise machine
25lbs
x 20
x 20
x 20
10 & 2 raises
rest/pause set
7.5lbs
x 12, 11, 10, 9, 8
barbell front raises
*I raise the barbell up very high and lower it with a 3 sec. negative
HAH look at me explaining shit like I’m a pro and it matters to anyone…
um
20lbs
2 x 8
bicep machine
30lbs
x 10 *slow neg + 10 normal + 10 partials
K very fun.
Girl at work told me a long time ago something was up with my eyebrows.
Well, more like.
WTF IS UP WITH YOUR EYEBROWS?
I was like
HUh?
SO I guess bitches these days tint their eyebrows so that they have eyebrows that are visible from a distance.
I was at the mall yesterday with my Ma, and I decided to do that, and Ma said they look real purty, but I’m kind of worried that I look like a freak now.
Like maybe I look like
^ ^
+
I don’t know…
I guess I just need to get used to having visible eyebrows.
Also, I feel kind of anxious like I am physically missing Eminem. (?)
I miss him and I need to hug him?
But I have never met him so I don’t know why I would be missing him. And I listen to him for like 2 hrs a day so it’s not like I haven’t heard him.
He won a grammy though and I think I just want to be like “ohh congratulations buddy, good job. I am proud of you” etcetc..
Maybe that’s all it is. I want to wish him well.
No, I don’t see why that would give me anxiety.
But I feel scared because I want to be in his embrace
HAHAHHA
holy fuck
K YEBYE
Altighy, top O’ the mornin’ to ya!
Bench
85lbs x 8
95lbs x 5
105lbs x 3
115lbs x 3
120lbs x 3
125lbs x 3
130lbs x 1
4 drop sets
115lbs x 6
105lbs x 10
95lbs x 6*paused + 6 normal
85lbs x 18 or 19
incline bench
85lbs x 6
95lbs x 6
95lbs x 6
95lbs x 6
paused incline*
100lbs x 3
105lbs x 5 sets of 2
DB power fly SS DB squeeze press
35lbs/15lbs
x 10/15
x 10/15
x 10/15
Hammer strength incline press drop set
50lbs x 6
40lbs x 8
30lbs x 10
20lbs x 12 + 12 partials
cable cross over
2nd pin
low setting x 20
middle setting x 20
high setting x 20
triangle handle tri ext.
50lbs x 4 sets of 8
1 drop set
20lbs x 10 *slow/paused + 10 normal + 10 partials
then I did close grip bench super setted with this new exercise I read about this AM called like… elbows out DB ext.
so
85lbs/7.5lbs
x 6/20
95lbs/12.5lbs
x 3/20
100lbs/15lbs
x 3/20
x 3/20
Uhh I think that’s all. I might have done another set of that ^^^ but damned if I know…
K
Personal ramblings that the internet can judge me on:
Yesterday at work this boy (man) came in to get his PIN changed on his VISA. And it was all fine and good until I finally looked at him and realized he kinda looked like he liked rap music, LOL. Then during the course of our transaction I noticed from his profile we had the same Birthday. So I made small talk about that and what not, then for some reason, (reason being that I am socially awkward and talk about dumb shit) I brought up my potential rap career.
So of course he’s into rap and gets very excited and I talked about how I used to battle< LOL, some hardcore freestyle shit behind the mall at lunch time.
As he’s about to leave he asks for a piece of paper to write down a rap artist I might be interested in. Me being clueless as to the fact that he is actually writing down his number, I decide to just write down Eminem on a piece of paper and give that to him…
Then he gives me his paper and I see his number and he leaves…
My co worker says I can’t text him for three days or he will think I’m desperate.
And I am like, oh, but what if he doesn’t think that?
Like what if he just thinks, oh, thank god, she doesn’t play mind games via text messaging.
<>
So I text him anyway and tell him I will contact him in three business days.
He laughs and whatever we chat for a while, but :O!
He types kind of like Marshall…
With like random emoticons and whatnot.
I don’t know if I can go through a Mashall Mathers LP2…
The first one left me very emotionally fucked up and I kind of told myself to never like anyone ever again (REALISITIC) because that was extremely unpleasant.
PROBABLY this person wont interrupt our dates and leave me at his place folding laundry while he goes out and deals BLOW.
PROBABLY this person wont randomly tell me RIGHT AFTER WE FUCK that he’s actually knocked up his EX girlfriend and she is due in May…
PROBABLY this person wont manipulate me and only be nice when he feels as tough I will discontinue fucking him if he doesn’t shape up, then go right back to being horrible the second he blows his load.
I mean, PROBABLY those things.
Maybe…
But possibly.
Because some people are awful, and some people are not. And apparently you are supposed to take risks and not compare an entire gender. But that can be very hard to do sometimes, and a huge part of me just wants to be an emotionless hermit for the rest of my life, and another part of me is very sad and lonely, and wishes she could have conversations with someone that is not 8 years old.
Oh well, get atter, pitter patter.
In other news, I am going to start doing front squats again.
BYE
WELCOME
To my squat day…
Squats
95lbs x 8
115lbs x 6
135lbs x 6
145lbs x 6
155lbs x 6
165lbs x 6
170lbs x 6
Three second paused squats*
145lbs x 2 sets of 4
155lbs x 2 sets of 3
165lbs x 2 sets of 2
Barbell hip thrusts
135lbs x 10
175lbs x 8
185lbs x 8
195lbs x 8
205lbs x 8
Barbell hip thrusts with super long holds at the top
225lbs x 3 sets of 3
1 drop
135lbs x 20
smith machineSplit squats super setted with smith machine 1 and 1/2 rep squats
and when I say super setted it’s like straight from split squats into 1 and 1/2 reps squats
I wanted to emphasize that because this is like the hardest thing I make myself do and I hate it x’s a milllionnnnnnn
so I did 3 drop sets of this
25lbs per side
x 8leg/6
20lbs per side
x 10leg/8
15lbs per side
x 12*leg/10
leg extension partials
55lbs x 30
70lbs x 25
85lbs x 20
100lbs x 12
leg spreader
130lbs
2 x 12
single leg sorta standing leg curl
30lbs
x 10 leg
x 10leg
x 10*leg
I tried to make most of the reps slowish/pausedish for that
Uhhh
that’s all
I had a dream that my cover photo on facebook was some amazing picture of me squatting a ton of weight with a face that looked like my head was about to explode, it was awesome.
*DREAMS CAN COME TRUE!
MMLP 2 news:
So now this boy wants to start working out with me (!!!)
I can’t have that. I’m a lone wolf at the gym.
I need to focus and do my own thing.
And he’s never really worked out before beyond doing sit ups in his room so I can’t be like teaching him shit or anything ??
Cause I’m busy?
I was like
Well, bro, I’m pretty crazy at the gym, you know…like C-R-A-Z-Y
Hoping that would scare him away from wanting to work out with me
But he was still eager .
NO
I can’t just say
NO
No, sorry …
No, I need intense mental focus to reach a daily rep maximum for my main lift and quality mind muscle connection for all of my assistance work.
Yeah, i’ll say that. That sounds terrifying.
BYE
K backing
volume deadlifts
135lbs x 8
155lbs x 8
175lbs x 8
185lbs x 8
195lbs x 8
205lbs x 8
215lbs x 2 sets of 4
225lbs x 2 sets of 2
Super setted with wide grip pull ups
x 9
x 8
x 8
x 6
x 5
military press
70lbs x 10
75lbs x 10
bent over row
85lbs x 10
90lbs x 10
95lbs x 10
kayak rows/straight arm pull downs/seated row cable/lat pull down partials from the top
(giant super set shit)
25lbs/25lbs/60lbs/90lbs
x 8arm/8/20/10
x 8arm/8/20/10
x *arm/8/20/10
This was very back burny, muscle feely wonderful.
seated DB curl
17.5lbs
x 10am
x 10arm
x 10*arm
EZ bar curl
35lbs
2 x 15
hammer strength front pull down
60lbs
x 6
x 6
cable station D handle bicep curl
drop sets
x 8arm
x 10arm
x 20*arm
back ext.
x 20
K good. Felt like I accomplished a lot.
I can tell my sticking point in deadlifts with be from the floor. When it starts to get heavy it’s like slowww THEN SUPER FAST.
If I could just get it faster to my pre knee region I could pull anything…
HmMMm
Tired
BYE
G’ morning"!
So I booked this random Saturday off work which meant a shoulder day FELL ON A DAY OFF!!
AKA I did like 500000 million diff. shoulder things for over two hrs, heh.
K Let’s see…
One arm cable rear delt fly
3 x 25*arm
both arms
1 x 50
Military press
75lbs x 5
85lbs x 3
90lbs x 3
95lbs x 5 sets of 2
seated smith machine shoulder press SS upright row
20lbs per side/40lbs
x 8/12
x 8/12
x 8/12
x 8/12
hammer strength iso lateral something press thingger mCbopper
25lbs per
oh, facing seat way
25lbs per side
x 12arm
35lbs per side
x 10arm
x 10*arm
1 drop
15lbs per side
x 10 slow neg + 10 partials *arm
seated lateral raise w/slight forward lean like I saw John Meadows do one time
7.5lbs x 12
10lbs x 12
12.5lbs x 10
15lbs x 8
1 drop
5lbs x 15
giant set of the following (no DB set down-age)
straight arm lateral raise/bent arm lateral raise/10 & 2 raise/front raise/L-arm or super bent arm lateral raise)
So 5lbs (shut up)
x 20/20/20/20*arm/20
cable station D handle one arm lateral raise SS plate raise (25lbs)
x 10arm/12
x 10arm/12
x 10arm/12
x 10arm
bent arm lateral raise machine
rest/pause set
25lbs
x 12, 11, 10, 9, 8
honestly, I Think that’s all I did…
I feel like I’m forgetting a super set
YES!
I Am
so after seat facing HS machine I did
rear delt swings SS side lateral partials
25lbs/25lbs
x 30/30
x 30/30
x 30/30
Whewf.
Come hell or high water my fucking shoulders WILL. GROW.
K so thinkings/thoughtings: (This kept me up last night BTW)
So RE: Dating/boyfriends etc.
This is something you are apparently supposed to want. I mean, over the course of my adult life all the women I’ve met and became friends with want it, so I think I want it too, because that’s normal.
And when people ask how my love life is and I say “Ya know, I’m not really looking right now” the response is met with “Ohh, you’ll find him, he’s out there, don’tcha worry”.
As if the “I’m not really looking” HAS to be a cover up for “I’m so sad and alone, and can’t understand why nobody will love me. So as a defense I just lie and say I’m not looking.”
But once I started getting my shit together, I started talking to a bunch of guys and meeting some great people. A lot of wonderful men have shown interest in me over this past 9 or 10 months, and it seems exciting at first, but the second it gets down to “Hey let’s go out”
I cut if all off completely.
OH! Little girl, you’re so disordered. Your social anxiety or just the anxiety brought on by having to change your routine scares you so much you are incapable of developing a relationship.
But why does everything have to be blamed on a disorder?
Say, for example, some guy who makes my heart flutter invites me out. I mean like, dream come true guy, picture of perfection, wants to date MOI!
But it’s on a Saturday night.
And the next day is squat day
and he wants to have a drink or two…
BUT THE NEXT DAY IS SQUAT DAY, did you hear me?
He would lose, and squats would win. Every. Fucking. TIme.
And people are just in awe of how I could possibly be happy living such a lonely little hermit life, but why do they get up in the morning?
To go to work
and then the grocery store
and then back home.
BITCHES! I Get up to test out my 6rm on squats, and then I get to barbell hip thrust more than anyone I’ve ever seen hip thrust in the history of my entire gym.
Do you have any idea how that makes me feel inside?
That makes me feel like how you feel for your boyfriend when he does something sweet, BUT TIMES A MILLION.
I cannot fathom how dull life would be without a passion, and so many people don’t have it.
They have the loves of their life, and I have mine, but it is just a thing I do and there’s is just a person.
I don’t know. I guess I don’t have a point, just dumping out my brain garbage (again).
I am not alone because I can’t make eye contact or because I’m super shy and blush a LOT or because I’m awkward and say the “wrong thing” all the time.
I am alone because I want to be alone, and that is the most comforting realization I’ve had in a very long time.
[quote]Spock81 wrote:
He would lose, and squats would win. Every. Fucking. TIme.
[/quote]
Fo shizzle