Is it not the case in Canada that when enrolled at the university, one can use the counseling services there? For example, the University of Alberta has a Mental Health Centre for enrolled students. In the U.S. such things are paid for as part of student tuition and, usually up to a point, there is no charge. Don’t quite know how they do it up in our hat, Canada.
If this is the case, perhaps another good reason to go back to school…
Jen, maybe you need a week off from the gym to? You’d be surprised the impact of your emotional issues effecting you. Add on top of that the insane amount of working out you do and you have a sure fire case of fried CNS.
It’s happen to me quite often and I handle stress really well. Sometimes just a week off of not caring and recharging does wonders.
[quote]ZJStrope wrote:
Jen, maybe you need a week off from the gym to? You’d be surprised the impact of your emotional issues effecting you. Add on top of that the insane amount of working out you do and you have a sure fire case of fried CNS.
It’s happen to me quite often and I handle stress really well. Sometimes just a week off of not caring and recharging does wonders.[/quote]
Great advice, not sure it will be taken however. Might not solve everything but it’d probably help IMO.
I know the general response would be ‘but going to the gym keeps us gym rats sane’. Well yeah, if you’re basically ‘normal’ (hate that word) and just dealing with the regular ups and downs of life. What Spock is describing is more significant than that however. You actually want to get the shitty stuff up and to the surface and out there (I’ve been here BTW) - and then get it properly treated. Getting rid of all the crutches in your life is the first step.
Whatever path you take Spock, in all sincerity, much love to you.
[quote]emskee wrote:
Is it not the case in Canada that when enrolled at the university, one can use the counseling services there? For example, the University of Alberta has a Mental Health Centre for enrolled students. In the U.S. such things are paid for as part of student tuition and, usually up to a point, there is no charge. Don’t quite know how they do it up in our hat, Canada.
If this is the case, perhaps another good reason to go back to school…[/quote]
this is true most schools have free counselling services available.
also, if you see a psychiatrist at the hospital its no charge. Just go in and tell them all your symptoms of anxiety and you’ll be fine. as for the medication there is usually some form of assistance available if a psychiatrist diagnoses you. make sure to tell them you can’t afford it, there are programs available and such.
I know you will probably not stop going to the gym, but i strongly agree with the above poster that said you should consider taking a week off. Or even do a deload week. All that working out may be ‘positive stress’ but it is still extra stress that gets added onto the pile of stress and contributes to making you sick, overloaded, adrenal fatigue, etc…
and for what its worth a lot of employers have access to free counselling that they don’t bother to tell their employees about too, might be worth looking into. Heck you can even call one of those crisis hotline things if you need someone to talk to, my sister is a counsellor who used to volunteer at one and she spent a lot of time just waiting for someone to call.
!
Omg! I didn’t realize I had body dysmorphic disorder…
I had no idea what that was .
I thought it was like “I think I am obese” when you’re actually a normal, healthy weight.
I didn’t realize it was a fixation on one particular flaw. I have obsessed over my stomach every single day since I gave birth to Gabe. Literally, there has not been one moment of peace about it. And lots of times I am too scared to have sexual relations with guys because I think if I let them see it they will hate me or lose all respect for me.
Honestly, it’s in the back of my mind any time I interact with any man. HOLY SHIT IT’S A FUCKING MENTAL THING.
I thought it was rational.
HOW COULD I FUCKING THINK THAT WAS RATIONAL?
It was like “Well, Jenn, it is gross, it is an imperfection, and any guy you end up with wont be the one who impregnated you so they probably wont be very accepting of it.”
My abs/stomach muscles never went back to normal after giving birth and neither did my skin.
There.
I said it.
I announced it in front of an entire community filled with people who place a very high value on physical appearance.
Sometimes if I do an exercise where I lift my arms above my head and my shirt goes up a bit I am like OMFG I HOPE NO ONE SAW half an inch of my stomach for 3 seconds there.
AH
AHHhhhh
This is very eye opening.
Like realizing something is a thing that is potentially all fabricated inside my head instead of being a real concern is a big deal to me.
Why is my brain like a lie-making factory?
All this time I thought I was extremely deformed, and now I think like… maybe I am not… ?
Honestly, huge, fucking noticeable, repulsive deformity that would need to be discussed in great detail before any sexual interaction/naked-ness took place is what I thought.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I think everything I ever thought was a lie.
RE: A week off,
If my sickness didn’t put me on my death bed, that sure would!!
What would I do every morning?
I know I need to cut back volume though…
I have ideas.
Like instead of thinking I need to do split squats on pump days and heavy days I just pick one day a week to do them.
Instead of thinking I need to do barbell hip thrusts on ass day, pump day, and leg day I just pick one.
I do that a lot. Exercises multiple times per week when I could just cut it down to 1 x.
I just dunno! Maybe all my routine ideas are stupid!!
AHhhhhhhhhhhh
BEY
BYE
[quote]Spock81 wrote:
RE: A week off,
If my sickness didn’t put me on my death bed, that sure would!!
What would I do every morning?
I know I need to cut back volume though…
I have ideas.
Like instead of thinking I need to do split squats on pump days and heavy days I just pick one day a week to do them.
Instead of thinking I need to do barbell hip thrusts on ass day, pump day, and leg day I just pick one.
I do that a lot. Exercises multiple times per week when I could just cut it down to 1 x.
I just dunno! Maybe all my routine ideas are stupid!!
AHhhhhhhhhhhh
BEY
BYE
[/quote]
I agree with everyone on everything else, but I’m with you on this one Jenn. Don’t fucking take a week off. I mean I don’t even have any anxiety issues, but if I took a week off of lifting (not counting before a meet) I would fucking lose my mind.
And don’t decrease your volume either. Your training is awesome.
[quote]csulli wrote:
[quote]Spock81 wrote:
RE: A week off,
If my sickness didn’t put me on my death bed, that sure would!!
What would I do every morning?
I know I need to cut back volume though…
I have ideas.
Like instead of thinking I need to do split squats on pump days and heavy days I just pick one day a week to do them.
Instead of thinking I need to do barbell hip thrusts on ass day, pump day, and leg day I just pick one.
I do that a lot. Exercises multiple times per week when I could just cut it down to 1 x.
I just dunno! Maybe all my routine ideas are stupid!!
AHhhhhhhhhhhh
BEY
BYE
[/quote]
I agree with everyone on everything else, but I’m with you on this one Jenn. Don’t fucking take a week off. I mean I don’t even have any anxiety issues, but if I took a week off of lifting (not counting before a meet) I would fucking lose my mind.
And don’t decrease your volume either. Your training is awesome.[/quote]
She can’t even eat. That’s almost always a sign of to much stress. I would at least decrease the volume for a week or just do things like yoga. She doesn’t have to be inactive, but back up a bit. This is a marathon and not a sprint.
[quote]ZJStrope wrote:
[quote]csulli wrote:
I agree with everyone on everything else, but I’m with you on this one Jenn. Don’t fucking take a week off. I mean I don’t even have any anxiety issues, but if I took a week off of lifting (not counting before a meet) I would fucking lose my mind.
And don’t decrease your volume either. Your training is awesome.[/quote]
She can’t even eat. That’s almost always a sign of to much stress. I would at least decrease the volume for a week or just do things like yoga. She doesn’t have to be inactive, but back up a bit. This is a marathon and not a sprint.
[/quote]
Yeah but I get more stressed from not training than from training…
^^^ That happens to me also.
And I ate some hot rice cereal, so I am basically 100%…
Um so this is what I did today if everyone isn’t too mad that I am not taking time off:
“heavy” leg day, strength is down obvs.
Back squat med. stance
95lbs x 8
95lbs x 8
105lbs x 8
115lbs x 8
115lbs x 8
125lbs x 8 (not perfect, but fine)
95lbs x 20
Hack squat machine, heels close, feet low, toes pointy
25lbs per side x 6
35lbs per side x 6
35lbs per side x 6
40lbs per side x 6
smith machine split squats continuous tension
10lbs per side x 10leg
15lbs per side x 10leg
20lbs per side x 10leg
20lbs per side x 10leg
leg ext.
85lbs x 8
90lbs x 8
90lbs x 8
leg curl seated
85lbs
2 x 12
lying leg curl
40lbs
x 20
x 25
barbell hip thrusts
65lbs x 10
85lbs x 10
85lbs x 10
um
leg spreader
75lbs x 12
90lbs x 10
110lbs x 8 + 12 partials
I am the only person in the world that does leg spreader partials maybe, but it’s very side glutey effective
glute bridge x whatever
K so clearly I did fewer exercises and sets today w/less weight, so I am behaving
I still feel nauseous, but more about inanimate objects as apposed to food stuffs.
Like scrabble is making me want to puke as well as sex, not that I really have to worry about avoiding that one…
I am really craving this thing called gnoccoi, if anyone knows what that is. I can’t stop thinking about it. I showed my kid pictures of it last night. And milk shakes I am craving also.
But other than that food=blah
Also thinking my diet might be retarded because I eat the same stuff day in day out
chicken at lunch
bison patty at dinner
Where’s the fun in that? It’s not like I even use different spices for anything.
Like maybe I want a roasted potato and some fish or something
I used to change shit around all the time and just follow the basic principals of healthy eating.
Life should be more about options and less about restrictions, ya
BYE
[quote]Spock81 wrote:
I just don’t understand how people expect me to pay for this…?
I can say goodbye to school savings if I start spending 200+ dollars a week on therapy and medication.
[/quote]
How much do you spend on supplements and bison meat? Maybe cut out the supps for a while and switch to cheaper, basic foods like beef, rice, chicken, beans, and veggies.
[quote]csulli wrote:
[quote]Spock81 wrote:
I just don’t understand how people expect me to pay for this…?
I can say goodbye to school savings if I start spending 200+ dollars a week on therapy and medication.
[/quote]
How much do you spend on supplements and bison meat? Maybe cut out the supps for a while and switch to cheaper, basic foods like beef, rice, chicken, beans, and veggies.[/quote]
Ya, I just really worry about my digestion cause it seems like 99% of things out there make me fart all day/be very uncomfortable. Typically if I find stuff that doesn’t bug me then I sorta stick with it and become terrified to try other things, LOL.
EX. I could be very happy eating eggs 3 times a day but they seem to really bother me.
Also rice seems to make me fart a lot and I <3 rice.
And beans MMMMMM!!! But again, farty farty farty… I wonder if I should think about digestive enzymes or something so I can broaden my eatings…
Friends!
I love you all.
But this is fin.
I am VERY anti-medication. As anti-medication as someone who is anti-abortion.
I am anti- and proud.
I would go to high schools and talk about how medication is not the answer if anyone wanted to listen.
I hate it.
Maybe I haven’t expressed that fully, but I am VERY passionate about NOT USING MEDICATION.
So that’s out there.
I appreciate your advice and concern and love you to pieces, but anti-, I’m anti-…
And this doesn’t come from no where, please keep that in mind. I have a lot of experience with it so I am anti- for a reason.
Also I feel that there are a buttload of people on this website who have moderate to severe OCD about their workouts/nutrition.
And probably a lot of people who have moderate to severe body image issues as well.
I just openly talk about mine because A I am not exactly a private person, nor am I really all that ashamed about my ailments, and B because it is my own form of therapy.
I used to talk about my feelings VIA facebook note write-age, and that seems to be a lost art form these days.
I will keep these things to myself if all it does is worry/frustrate people.
Workout post to follow…
K
cable rear delt fly
3 diff pin heights
x 10 reps per height per arm x 2 sets
smith machine seated behind the neck press
10lbs per side x 8
15lbs per side x 8
15lbs per side x 8
17.5lbs per side x 8
17.5lbs per side x 8
1 drop continuous tension
12.5lbs per side x 8
seated DB press
22.5lbs x 10
22.5lbs x 10
22.5lbs x 10
27.5lbs x 10
lateral raise
12.5lbs
3 x 12
reverse pec deck
70lbs
x 15
x 12
pec fly machine
70lbs
x 15
x 12
incline bench continuous tension
65lbs x 8
75lbs x 8
75lbs x 8
80lbs x 8
80lbs x 8
hammer strength chest press pause a bottom/pec squeezey at top
25lbs per side x 6
30lbs per side x 6
30lbs per side x 6
35lbs per side x 6
35lbs per side x 6
40lbs per side x 6
NG DB flat bench
27.5lbs x 10
27.5lbs x 10
30lbs x 10
close grip bench not full lockout
65lbs x 8
65lbs x 8
75lbs x 6
75lbs x 6
I think I did another set
75lbs x 6
DB tricep overhead EXT
30lbs
x 10
x 10
triangle handle tri drop set
x 8, 9, 10, 11, 16 + 35 partials + 10 normal + 20 partials
one arm cable tri ext.
2 x 12*arm
K good.
Slept normally, ate without dying this morning, and strength seemed to be exactly where it was a week ago.
SO
Without trying to jinx it, I think this thing is finally almost out of my system.
Still can’t stop thinking about Gnocci though…
BEY
BYE
[quote]Spock81 wrote:
Also I feel that there are a buttload of people on this website who have moderate to severe OCD about their workouts/nutrition.
And probably a lot of people who have moderate to severe body image issues as well.[/quote]
I’m not really sure that’s the case Jenn 
what you have to go through is different.
I feel you on the anti-medication!
[quote]Spock81 wrote:
Still can’t stop thinking about Gnocci though…
[/quote]
Dammit, now you’ve got me fixated on those delicious little pasta-y potato-y dumplings as well!
No daily update? I hope nothing is amiss!