Tbh i cant wait till a couple of years when i can be independent and away from all the bullshit. My coping mechanisms are pretty much what you listed man + Eating.
I like drinking and getting high and all that but i wont use it as an outlet. Every few months il smoke weed as a treat or il go to a party and drink but besides that i prefer not to. ( for health reasons and my addictive personality)
Thanks man. Im kind of conflicted of whether to press charges or not. What did you do? Im heading towards no because my dad could lose his job?? and that would affect my sister. He pays my mum matenates ( my mum kinda needs it cos shes poor).
so like depending on his wage is what determines the amount mum gets for my sister living with her. its a law in australia i dont know if its in other countries but i presume so.
Thats good then, have fun with it, personally I think its amazing that you realize all this at such a young age. Especially the bit on the addictive personality, good on you. Had a lot of friends who went down a bad path cause they didnt realize this.
Again, very similar situation that I was in. My father was the breadwinner(Made alot of money back when I was younger, not so much anymore), so if he ever went away my mom and brothers would have been fucked cause me and my mom couldnt support everyone on our own. He also is extremely personable and a sociopath, so I was always afraid that if I ever tried to do anything he would be able to talk his way out of it and I would be beyond fucked. I just got to the point where I could beat the shit out of him if i needed too, so he just stopped with any sort of physical abuse and let me be. Like I said, I ended up alright, I have no possible idea what could have happened if he was ever arrested/put in jail. Could have been better, could have been worse. So I cant really give you a yes or no answer, do you think the situation could get even worse? could you or your sister be in serious danger?
Thanks man! And another way i see it ( beside being bad for my health and addictive personality) is if i do it frequently, it will be boring.
I dont really think il be in any more danger. Im not going back to dads and my sister isnt in danger either ( my mum lives far away from where my dad is and my dad and mum hate each other)
My dad too is good at talking his way out of things. He tried convincing the police officer to not take me but unfortunately for him he was drunk. That didnt work in his favour either.
I think maybe its best not to press charges. Him and mum had a house mortgage ( dad worked mum didnt) but my mums name is still on the mortgage.
Once they split up and dad moved away dad continued paying it as agreed to by the lawyer. ( mum got a lawyer involved)
Weve moved out of that house but if dad was to lose his job then it could possibly be dumped on mum? I dont know or probably repossesed by the bank. Also mum wouldnāt get money for my sister so theyd be stuffed to.
I dont know for certain if dad would lose his job but id presume he would so i wont risk it just to press charges/ restraining order or something.
Thats probably the most important aspect of this all, So im glad to hear that. In regards to your decision, you have a good head on your shoulders and clearly have put alot of thought into it. Im sure whatever you will decide will be the right one, youre a smart kid.
Sorry to hear all that, duke. You have a lot to figure out with that nonsense. There are probably some differences there vs where Iām at but Iāll let you know how things would play out here.
It sounds like a sonās word against his fatherās (not sure if you have any witnesses). That makes a conviction tough even if you want to press charges.
Youāre his son and Iām assuming still a minor by legal standards (18 here). Youāre supposed to fyi what dad tells you no matter how stupid it is. If you disobey then he can discipline you but thereās a difference between discipline and abuse. Your situation sounds like abuseā¦or just a fight. If you run from him and he grabs you then he probably wonāt get in trouble for that. The follow-up stuff was definitely crossing the line though.
If heās driving drunk then Iād do what I could to be safe and maybe even get him caught. That could mean refusing to get in the car and calling three police immediately or riding with him until you see a good opportunity to get out and inform someone who could report him or keep you safe. Iād hope he wouldnāt put his hands on you in front of another adult in that situation.
In regards to the court order and your familyā¦ A court order stands until a judge says it doesnāt. The status of his employment doesnāt matter. That stuff also takes awhile to play out so if he missed a few payments then itād take a few more months for the courts and bank to do anything about it.
Lastly, you live with him. Youāre family. Occasionally Iāll get to arrest someone for child abuse but the end result is counseling, anger management, and theyāre back with the family in no time.
Let me know if you have any other questions. I might not be any help since weāre in different countries but Iāll try.
In the grand scheme of things the path of least resistance might be the right one for you.
On the other hand, people need to be called on their bullshit and held accountable for their actions.
Sorry to hear that Duke.
I think you handled the situation very well.
You have some good thoughts about what to do.
Here in Denmark, youāre not allowed to beat your child. I think if you where in Denmark, you could press charge.
BUT I donāt think that would solve the problem.
If I where you, I am not, but you should seriously think about that boarding school.
I think you really would like it. I know you have shit going down and everything. But give it at least a second thought, visit the damn place.
Oh and donāt you drop them leg sessions boy
I feel weird ālikingā your post. But, I know you know that itās just a show of total support for you. Iām sorry you are going through so much. =(
Didnāt realize I wasnāt following your log, but I am now. Iām really sorry to hear about all that stuff with your dad though. I understand that you arenāt living with him anymore, which is fantastic, but I do have on recommendation. Learn a martial art. Brazilian or Japanese ju jutsu (thatās the japanese spellingāI feel loyalty since thatās what I learned) are fantastic, more so than karate or tae kwon do in my opinion. Japanese is a smooth blend of throws and strikes, largely intended for self defense against an opponent who is actively throwing punches/charging you.
Donāt have much understanding about BJJ but I think thatās more grappling and ground fighting, which would be ideal if you ever have to fight someone whoās big. Once theyāre on the ground, itās easy. It doesnāt matter how big someone is once youāve torn their shoulder out of itās socket or snapped their wrists and elbows (I doubt itād ever come to that, but in a life or death situation Iād happily destroy somebodyās shoulder than dieā¦you feel me?).
Anyways, Iām glad these troubles seem to be passing. Hopefully your mateās 17th birthday is a more enjoyable one for both of you. 35 pushups with strict form is pretty good. I donāt know if I could do that right now to be totally honest with you!!
Also, side note: donāt think Iām a psychopath murderer guy. Being a member of civil society, I donāt condone violence, nor do I think most violent encounters truly warranted violence to begin with. I just think everyone should be able to defend themselves swiftly and safelyāthe world will always have dickheads who think itās okay to hurt people for whatever reason. Stay safe homie.
Theyāre actually pretty similar, I was just goofing. The biggest difference is that jujutsu training is usually a slow and controlled environment. Judo is pretty much 100% all the time. You train at full speed instead of learning the moves slowly and then having to relearn it at full speed
Thatās fair. Our shihans always told us that with adrenaline, it wouldnāt matter the speed at which we learned it, we would be able to perform quickly and precisely. I found that kinda hard to believe though, since no other sport Iāve ever done (baseball, football, throwing, olympic lifting) is ever really practiced at half speed. Whatever I guess! lol
