You got that right. Colonoscopy. Doesn’t get any better than that. Thought I’d be upfront with you guys about this procedure that I have to have next week. For those who haven’t barfed up their Grow! shakes, please listen up.
I need to start a clear liquid only diet 48 hours before the procedure. I don’t want to push it and have to have it done again, so I am looking for nutrient options that won’t break the rules. Any suggestions other than the standard broth, gatorade, jello and fruit juices? I can’t imagine many things worse than 2 days without food, but the colonoscopy itself is a definite contender. Not really expecting anything, but thought I’d try.
Please don’t send flowers. If anything,a cash donation to your favorite charity will suffice.
I’ve had one before, CGB, and it ain’t pretty. As for foods, my doctors wouldn’t even let me have chicken broth.
It’s hard to get much fat in during those two days.
Oh and two days without food isn’t the hard part: having a three+ foot long tube shoved up your ass is the hard part.
It will suck believe you me. I had a few in my day. I had IBD for years but I am ok now. They will sedate you, but not completely. You will feel drunk, but you might wanna ask if they can make you drunker.
Are you more concerned about the hunger or the weight loss?
I had a barium enema last year and the prep’s not too different. The diet part wasn’t the hard part. It was the bowel prep part that sucked. That, and having what amounts to liquid drywall pumped up my ass and having a balloon inflated up there to keep it in. And having to hold it in…and hold it in…and switch positions…and hold it in some more. But by far the worst part was all the air they pumped up there and how long it took to come out.
Craig,
I feel your pain man. I’m having one on Sept 10th… and I’m not looking forward to it.
In regards to the diet, just stick to the clear fluids at least for 24 hours and don’t deviate- otherwise your test will be messy (literally). I know how hard it is especially since I’m hypoglycemic and can’t go more than 3 hours without eating! For the first 24 hours you can have fluid foods like meal replacement shakes etc, but no solid food. Then for the last 24 hours, do the clear fuilds only. Just take it easy for the day if you can.
Isopure will work;
Low sodium chicken and vegtable broth (it had a teeny tiny amount of protein);
Sugar-free jello and drinks (stay away from the full sugar stuff because it will throw your blood sugars for a loop);
Low-sugar popsicles (Del Monte makes a nice fruit juice one)
Herbal Teas like licorice to support adrenal function, and chamomile to sooth the nerves.
If you’re lucky you get the “twilight” treatment. They say you aren’t out but believe me it’s just like getting put under from your end. I’ve had the colonoscope and the endoscope. They didn’t give me much for the colonoscope. It was a lot like that scene from Alien when the little alien pops out of the guy’s chest. You could see and feel the thing moving around in there. It’s not too bad though…the little guy doesn’t really rip all the way out and run away.
Whatever you do don’t do what I did and go cheap by having your bartender do it. Chuck was gentle, which is a surprise for having spent so many years in prison. Didn’t charge me, but I wasn?t too happy to find the pix on the Internet. Also wasn’t sure what he used for the scope.
I should have been suspicious when he kept calling me his bitch.
Thanks for the help, guys. Due to the nature of the the procedure, I had decided to do the ostrich thing and try to forget about the whole thing, but yesterday I realized that just isn’t the way to go about it and I need to prepare myself and stop acting like a baby.
I realize it will be uncomfortable and yes, Brad, I’ve been warned about the gas, but ask my girlfriend, that’s nothing new! Minute long uncontrollable farts will keep my co-workers on their toes, to say the least.
I appreciate the diet tips. Sergius, you’ve had a lot done, I know, so you have my sympathies.
Cass, thanks for the info. Great stuff. Keeping hydrated and maintaining my electrolytes will be important with the laxatives I need to take. But, I’ve been advised to really avoid everything other than clear fluids for two solid days. Have you been advised you can consume MRP’s? This would make a huge difference, obviously. It would make sense to me to be able to eat things like this at least for the first 24 hours, since I will be taking laxatives. Best of luck with your procedure. You have my support, that’s for sure.
Jim, the weight loss is actually secondary to me, since I’m resigned to it, but I am worried about comfort, since I am so conditioned to eating 7-8 times a day. I can’t even remember what hunger feels like!
I had one done about 1.5 years ago. I had to drink about a gallon of some pretty nasty crap that really cleaned me out. I would suggest just following the doctor’s orders and getting it done right the first time. In the grand scheme of things, screwing up your diet for one or two days is pretty insignificant, especially when you are doing it to ensure you don’t have any broader health concerns - trust me, colon cancer will screw everything up for much longer than 1 or 2 days. As far as the procedure goes - I was knocked out, so I don’t remember anything. Afterwards, I went home and snoozed off and on. The next day, I was back in the gym. Good luck.
brider, the doc wants to ensure that there is absolutely nothing left in my system. Apparently many people that do only one day end up having the procedure compromised because there is still some waste left in the digestive tract that is not removed. I’d prefer to get it done right the first time.
Ok, I thought I’d offer an update on the procedure I had yesterday, since I know that most of you were just dying to know
First off, I had a difficult time with the diet. Who doesn’t? I subsisted on beef broth, low sugar popsicles, some fruit juice and I even snuck some whey in there on two occassions. The worst part of the procedure was not the loss of my anal virginity, as most of you would suspect. No, the worst part was taking the phoso-soda. Nothing is worse than pospho-soda. Not even a metre of tube… aw, you get the pic.
Anyway, nothing was found, so back to the drawing board. I was wide awake, as the sedative didn’t put me under, so I watched the entire thing on the screen. It was pretty much pain-free and I didn’t even spend any time in the recovey room. Just up and split with my girlfriend after talking to the doctor. So, anypone that has to go through this, you’ve got nothing to fear except the phospho-soda. Don’t be afraid of seeing a doctor if you have digestive issues like I have and many of the rest of you have. It’s far too important to get things sorted out. The weightroom can wait. Nothing is more important than your health.
Oh and Cass, good luck with yours. You’ll do just fine. If you have any questions, let me know.
Jared, they were a little rough. In fact, I attempted to ascertain the lube situation upon arrival but before I could get a word out, I was shoulder rolled onto the bed by a rather hefty nurse named Helga who proceeded to wrench my jeans off without so much as a “Pleased to meet you, Craig” and violate me in ways that I cannot repeat here. Other than that, I suppose there are worse inhumanities one can be subjected to, but none are coming to mind.
Hey C!
Thanks for the reassurance.
I have a q. Was yours a full-out Colonoscopy? or was it partial?
Mine is the long road to perdition… and I’m not too excited about it.
I’ve already had an ilostomy and a gastroscopy (down the throat… and gawd that sucked, I cried). And like you, so far they havent found anything, and I’m left with even more unaswered questions. Damn fricken medical system.
