My girlfriend went away to college yesterday, about 200 miles away, and I’m stuck here at home because I didn’t get accepted to that one. So I was wondering if my chances are better if I go to college here then transfer after say, a semester or two?
I miss her a lot.=\ Just wondering if anyone knows about this stuff, thanks.
Steve, live your own life dude. Not to be a pessimist, but you have a snowball’s chance in hell for your girl to wait for you. I call this the 3-week syndrome … meaning, when a girl goes away to college, within 3 weeks, it’s usually over. I’ve never seen evidence to dispute this. It happened to me twice. Ug.
I will prove you wrong.
Steve, you’re chances are good. Very good.
I think i’m with GrowtH on this one…but, good luck Steve. This will be interesting to watch.
Maybe if she was 20 miles you’d have a shot. 200, it’s over. I’d cut your losses and save some heartache down the road with a preemptive strike.
I’m with GrowtH. I know she probably means everything to you right now but ask how many guys here on the board who went to college are now married to or still dating their high school girlfirends - I doubt anybody would reply. Don’t let the situation slow you down. If it works out, great. If not, you’ve got the rest of your life to find Mrs. Right.
Steve F., I truly hope you do prove me wrong! That’s what I told everyone too. Just be cautious bro!
Steve - I hope you’re right. Just remember, the odds are stacked against you, so you’re going to have to work HARD on keeping the relationship. 200 miles? That’s about a 3 hour drive (by highway). If this relationship means that much to you, then you’d do that drive a couple times a week. If that’s such a hardship for you, then maybe you should be examining the viability of the relationship any way.
First, I hope everything works out for the best but prepare yourself for a break up. My Freshman year I lived in a co-ed dorm and knew most of the girls on the floor. Every one of them with a serious boyfriend had broken up with them by the end of the year or were unfaithful, one girl was engaged. I know the answer you’re looking for is that you can make it work and I’m not saying that you can’t, just that the odds are stacked against you. I try to be as optimistic and non-cynical as I can but experience has taught me that I’m usually right about these things.
I’ll show you all.
Steve, your optimism is refreshing. Just keep us posted month-to-month on what’s going on, so we can see who shows who. If you guys last, I think that alone is worthy of a leather jacket!
Bro, if it works out, that’s great. But like the others said, the chances are stacked against you. Most people go to college to experience new things and meet new people. A long-distance relationship will be nearly impossible. She’s going to meet new guys and be hit on no matter how much she tries to avoid it. Eventually, she’ll make new friends and they may influence her to meet someone. Or she may realize that she’s away from home and it’s time to get crazy. So the chances are against you. Is this something you talked about prior to her leaving?
There were a couple times when I kicked myself in the ass for having a long-term relationship while in college. But I also was on the six-year plan, so that gave me time to have a few relationships that lasted either a few weeks to a year or two. But if I had kept some of the longer ones shorter, I could have been out meeting new people and "experimenting" with new sexual exploits with some of the hotties in class. And trust me, it's a lot easier to hook up while in college than after. Most of the people I meet through work are married, old or not my type. Luckily, I still have many friends in school, so I meet college-aged girls quite often. But sometimes I forget that I'm 8 years older than some of them. But age really doesn't matter to me, as I treat everyone on the same level. I don't discriminate as long as they are legal! LOL!
Remember American Pie. Move on, she will/has.
Hey Steve–I was in an exact situation when I was your age. Guess what. It DID NOT WORK… She cheated on me in 2 months from our arrivals to colleges. But, I’m married now to a different woman and I count my blessings after being with her. Find something else to distract your mind so you don’t end up down the long, miserable path I took.
I really hope everything works out for the best, man. But just be prepared for the worst. I think you should probably drive up there as much as you can, but you can’t supervise her all the time. I see you kind of resent the advice you’re getting but I think most of the people who have replied went to or are in college, like I am - and we KNOW what happens. It’s just a fact of life, things inevitably happen. I would strongly suggest that you try to transfer in as soon as you can. Good luck!
Steve, I got a similar story to tell you about. In college last year, one of the dudes on my floor was in a long distance relationship with this girl and she decided to go to the same school. So last year, instead of their relationship growing because they were together, it fell apart because now she wanted to make friends and establish a social life rather than spend too much time with him. I even saw her holding hands with another guy, and I then proceeded to scare the sh*t out of the guy without letting either the girl or her boyfriend know about ‘the bastard’. In the end, the dude just got fed up with the fact that she wouldn’t “contribute” to their relationship so he dumped her. Also, at the same time, one of my female friends had a boyfriend transfer in, and he ended up spending so much time with her and not developing new friendships that he kind of felt really isolated at school. So I guess the lesson to learn is that it CAN work if you balance your life out properly once you get there.
Steve - how long have you been together? do you trust her to be faithful? do you trust yourself to be faithful? if you have even one little tiny bit of doubt about the two previous questions then end it, because you will spend all your time worrying and being jealous of her new friends. of course you miss her right now…it’s still fresh. don’t change your ‘life plan’ to be with your girlfriend. you didn’t get accepted at the same school, so keep looking for another one. if it’s going to work out it will no matter where you’re going. my advice? take some classes at a local college, meet new people and get involved in stuff. make a sincere effort to meet new people, because that will give you the best indication of your ‘real’ feelings for her. if you find your eyes begining to wander and you are wishing you were single, then you have your answer. just some advice from someone who has been there…and didn’t make it through. please do not think we are all being negative, but a lot of us have been there and very very few l.d. relationships last, especially the ‘fresh out of high school’ ones. you’re both going to change a lot in the next few years, and that usually means growing apart. YES some people work it out…i hope you do too. step back and give the relationship an honest examination, if you have ANY doubts END IT.
One last thing, I’m against staying in a long-term relationship with someone from high school. Like Michelle said, people change a lot after high school (typically between 18-22). Besides, when you stay with someone when you’re that young, I think you miss out on many other things. It really holds you back at a time when you need to make new friends, experience new things and have a lot of fun. This is the time of your life that really shapes who you are. But if in the end, you come together (after experiencing other people), then that’s cool.
As I look back on people I dated in high school, I would NEVER want to still be with any of them. I’m always looking to the future. And each relationship is a new learning experience that makes each new one even better than the last. At 26, I still have no desire to be married or settle down with one person. I have a lot more to accomplish and hope to meet many more people in the next few years. But hey, if I meet that one person that totally blows my socks off, then I wouldn’t be opposed to marriage in the next few years.
To answer your original question. Yes, if you go to the college you were accepted at and make good grades and keep your GPA up, it is possible to transfer to the college your girlfriend is at. No comment on the situation. Anything I say towards your long distance relationship will be ignored anyway.