I can’t take the credit for seeing the need to change, I really no doubt would have kept going the way I was–it took the results of my choices and behavior to drop me into the pit where you see there really is no option BUT change!!! :D!!! So change it is!
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I have one in the junk pile right now… lol
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SELL IT!! You could get some dough for that!!!
Today
MoonShine Malibu Walk! Saw a very fat, very unintelligent mouse that kept waddling withing striking distance of Malibu. I’ve never seen a mouse reverse run before, but this one did and then just kinda sat there. Had my girl been free he’d be dead meat!
Stepmill x 18 mins 40 seconds- then I cheated and put my hands on the rails x the remaining time of 1 min 20 seconds!
3 rounds of rear delt machine x 20 ss pull forwards x 15
some pull thrus
I am feeling a cns drain today. The cardio was hardio due to that and not lack of conditioning, yet cardio typically makes me feel better no matter what so it’ll help.
This week has been a ball buster at work with 3 out of 4 10 hour shifts being me vs 21 patients on my own, non stop. I had not realized until today how busy work’s been and I am feeling that combo of lifting and life cns drag.
It makes me cranky too! Listening to a story someone was telling me yesterday on a social occasion I kept getting so frustrated…they would not shut up! there was no breaks for interruption… And kept taking forever to get to the point!
I’m usually not this way so when I am its significant for me at least and I typically never let it show. The times I get bitchy and actually let it show I instantly feel bad and apologize since that’s how I am. Testy, cranky, lack of normal level of patience means for me I should book a day off work soon or have some more cardio and light lifting days to recharge.
I can’t take a day off just yet of work so cardio it is, and the stepmill did feel good even though it was hardio!
Malibu is currently barking ( muffled) in her sleep and its precious…I’m going to follow suit and take a luxurious morning nap now myself :D!!!
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Today
stepmill x 19m mins
Malibu Walk!
I figured out another facet of my frustration with the long winded story tellers–its my speed! I noticed when I used to work ER and triage all the time when talking in non work settings, I would interrupt people to prod them for the point and that is rude!
This was because I was still mentally triaging and all the while thinking “I have 12 other people to talk to out in the lobby…10 other pts in the back who need xyz to be done” etc. So when I walked and asked questions , people tend to give a lot of information that I didn’t need - had to interrupt to get what I needed to of them so I could move on to the next task.
My work requires speed and making the most of time, multitasking- and it still does. I remember when I was seeing this guy romantically and I’d notice my speed was way faster then his, I could almost feel him holding me back in my chest , aiming to reduce my speed to match his when we’d communicate. What he did by trying to match speed, is not a bad thing, and I don’t think it was malicious for the most part, its just something that happened that I felt in my chest!
I bet the Germans have a 18 letter word to describe what I’m trying to articulate. That feeling when you live faster and you encounter someone on Island Time, that transition/collision of speed taht for whatever reason, I feel in my mid-chest!
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I’m starting a bit of an experiment and won’t log my daily lifts for a bit. I don’t know it its beneficial or detrimental to be so easily found online. So! This is not a dramatic thing or whatever, just an experiment.
I know for me logging is a nice release, and a tick on the task list of satisfaction after I lift, but maybe its time to be more private, And there are people I think don’t deserve to know about me out there!
. …but then I think, I’m so private anyways in real life, this might be a step too far into turning me into a super hermit. I’ve been logging for a LONG TIME.
Not a drama post! An experiment! I’m still writing down all my lifts in a lil book in my gym bag! I might even end up just doing plain lifting logging on here and no expansive stuff. However, again, I don’t like the idea that I am so easy to find online. I’ll give it a week or so, I’m alive I am well! I’m experimenting!
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I think about this often and have gotten away from logging on here a few times. I always come back to though. This is my only outlet to talk about lifting so… here I am, still plugging along.
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I always believed your log was a showcase for hard work. Your dedication to training was an example for others. After 27 days, it is time to think about checking in and letting others know you are ok.
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Just checking! Much love 
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