This is long. This is true, this is about when I met a guy a few years ago and I made so many mistakes! This was Life being such a great teacher it made sure I learned the Lesson, so Life showed me twice.
To start with I was certain he’d liked me, I thought I’d impress him just showing up and being who I am. The day I met him I made sure I walked Tall, shoulder back with a big smile- confidence confidence confidence. I (arrogantly!) believed 100% that he’d love me and see how good I was, and him seeing that would mean I could see how I good I was too. I required the reinforcement of my self worth. I also wanted to be in a relationship again. I thought this guy knew me well enough and that I’d be a sure thing. HA!
I jumped into things fast. In my head the relationship had already progressed since in my head I had been wanting to date him for a while- because I really thought he already liked me- and now I finally was able to. I pushed sex fast and I gave myself up to this guy assuming that he would love me and that would be that! I encountered withing a few weeks that it seemed instead that I was annoying him to him. This was strange because again, I was a people pleaseer and I truly aim not to be annoying to anyone- and I am good at that.
He’d say stuff that was mean spirited and sarcastic, he was dismissive. Instead of being so sure he loved me- and I did everything in the way I thought would ensure this- I didn’t even know if he liked me. I knew we had chemistry and we were sleeping together, to me he was my boyfriend yet I did not know if I was his girlfriend. That was a real blow to my ego. I had been used to knowing my place with men , for better or worse , right away. Men wanted me to meet their family’s early, in my past relationships commitment was talked about early on… This guy I could not say I knew for sure where I stood even on the level of friendship. SO I asked him and he said, oh yes, you are my girlfriend. I also asked him if I annoyed him and if that was why he’d snap at me and make these mean comments and he replied no, and curiously he added “but its tiring hearing you put yourself down all the time”.
This was a very strange response! And not true! I know that people who do that, put themselves down all the time and say it out loud are annoying-more accurately , exhausting- to be around and that in my mind is not how I role.I was well socialized in my family to not be annoying! Its better to be ignored then to be annoying in my mind, that is what I thought then.
If I like someone, I will not act in anyway that is annoying, I put my best foot forward. I have pride as well and I keep my inner strife inside. This was a weird thing for him to say and didn’t make any sense as an answer to what I asked. I put it aside, as it was not true
The first few months with a guy I was dating I found myself changing. Adapting to his moods. I didn’t wear clothes I’d worn in the past because I wanted to avoid comments from him on it.
One time he had surprised me with a bunch of clothes he’d bought for me. Things he though I’d like. One being a necklace, and other misc things that I actually did like and a few that were not me. The colors and fits of things were just not my style. I have a unique style. I always have. I found myself wearing the clothes he gave me to cheer him up, stuff I was on the fence about style-wish I’d wear to show I appreciated the gesture. At another time he bought me a green hat, a straw hat for the sun. I told him not to, he wanted to buy it. He said green was my color.
Green is not my color. I have blue eyes and red hair, blue is my color. He says “Green is your color”. “You put yourself down”.
We’d went shopping and he picked me to some clothes to try on. He’d pull something out and I’d say, “eh , no”. And he’d get mad. "why not?? " this expression of bitter disgust on his face. I found myself giving in and trying on the stupid clothes that were not my style, not my colors, matronly, and not me at all. He told me he wanted to buy them for me and I refused to let him because I wouldn’t wear them! His mood changed, once again walking on egg shells not piss him off.
This is an example of what I chose to be around. I am NOT proud of this. What I write below-- it must be highlighted on MY stupid mistakes! MINE.
I am still very angry at myself for this. This was a time I wanted to leave him in the store and drive home, but I didn’t. I stayed. I told myself I could handle this, and worst of all I told myself “If I leave this guy-like I really want to- he’s going to be very, very sad. I don’t want him sad. I’ll stay so he doesn’t get sad” HA!!! Talk about wrong, talk about conceit on my part.
The time I wanted to leave him at the gym after he told put me down in front of his friends, introducing me by my name then making fun of it telling the guy “yeah. I have to call her that too”.
I wanted to leave him on his birthday a few months after we started dating. I wish I could go back in time and leave him at the restaurant we went to on his birthday after he lit in to me about my lifting! He told me I “can’t go around and carrying everything like an asshole”. He continued. He told me “That’s how you do everything, you rush through you don’t pay attention, you just barrel on”. HIS FACE, disgusted with me over the plate of omelet at the restaurant.
He would would pick on my a lot in the beginning. Part of our weekend dates would be meeting the gym and lifting. I’d wait to go do my own lifting when he was there, I did this to be cooperative and spend time together- I would have preferred of course to lift first thing in the morning and waiting for me made me a bit anxious, and my body clock performing early times meant I knew I’d not have a great performance for the lifts I’d do that day. I did not say this to him because I agreed to lift with him, it was part of the cooperation for being in a relationship so we could spend time together.
M
My lifting and what I’d do while I was there with him at the gym was an early bone of contention-he never said it though I am very sure he wanted to be my coach and this have some type of power dynamic over my lifting. I did not need a coach- this was one thing I never ever let him get a toe hold on, he was never successful in controlling my lifting. He eventually let it go, but not until months later when I confronted him about it. The the comments came back of course at the end of things. Also of note was that he used to give me compliments on my lifting years before he ever met me in person.
One day I made the mistake of asking him to help me bench. This day I had also chosen to wear the workout clothes he had given me to make him happy. I had asked him because I thought he’d like to teach me. What a mistake! So he had me set up, showed me tips and I got a few mixed up. He had me try 95# and I did and he instantly jumped all over me. “You have got to do all the steps,You have to be deliberate. If you just run around trying to go fast you’re going to hurt yourself. That how you do everything, you just go fast and don’t think about anything …” he was saying this as he’s over my head spotting me. That set me off and I held it together. I stood up and waited for more instructions. I guess I had stood and crossed my arms as he was giving me instructions, THIS set HIM off more. “Don’t cross your arms!” Here he is telling me not to cross my arms as in don’t cross your arms when the teacher is telling you to do stuff. This was his coaching. I never asked his help again. I wanted to leave him at the gym that day too. I did not.
Back to the day I wanted to leave him in the restaurant parking lot. His FACE when he said his diatribe of my lifting to me was of total disgust. The entire meal was him telling how bad I train, how I life “like an asshole”. Insulting something I really enjoy about myself. He was disgusted with me. He was mad at me because it was his birthday and he wanted to do dead lifts with me. I agreed to it and I did my dead lifting with him and then went off and did my other training. This set him off–he wanted me to do what he wanted me do, he wanted to tell me what to lift. When I didn’t it set him off. I SO WISH I had left him right then and there!!! I didn’t! UGH! What did I do/ I put up with it! I even ended up giving him presents after! SO STUPID!
While I’m at it another missed opportunity of mine to set him straight when again he looked at me with pure disgust, utter and total contempt while I was getting dressed after being undressed and lying with him, I was putting on my pants. I had asked him for directions to a place he knew as I was on my way there to meet my family. He didn’t want me to leave but knew I had prior arrangements and I’d be going none the less. I made this mistake of saying " Can you give me directions, Buddy?" Again, the look of utter contempt on his face. “Buddy? Ok, Sugar Titts.” This wasn’t said in a funny way, this was said exactly how it was written. He was angry I had accidentally called him Buddy. I apologized by saying that it just slipped out , and that I call the patients at work Buddy a lot too so I just slipped. This made things even worse and he got even more mad. His face! Utter contempt for me. I had called him Buddy.
He was walking me out after this exchange and it got worse again. I asked him if he was teasing me, and to please not tease me. He was stone faced and silent he wouldn’t look at me where typically on elevator rides down to where I’d park we’d embrace. I didn’t want to leave on that note so I went to kiss him goodbye…and this too pissed him off. He told me with this look like I was the most awful piece of human he’d ever seen, “Don’t stand like that when you kiss me”. I am taller then him and I had spread my feet out so my head was level with his. This pissed him off, and he told me right before our lips touched. I wanted to knee him in the guts and throw him bodily through a wall.
But I didn’t. I instead told him that what he’s saying made me feel very vulnerable and I didn’t like it and I left as planned. He texted me later that night like nothing had happened. I was furious. I put it aside.
STUPID!
I found myself at home after dates in a state of relief to be away form his moods. I didn’t know why. I found myself in the shower or the bath tub sobbing. I found myself feeling less confident at my job! It was because I was letting myself down. I had broken the promise to myself that I would never that let happen to me ever again.Yet here I was dating another manipulative, disrespectful, controlling asshole. I let myself down. I missed GOLDEN opportunities to teach this dude what his behavior deserves.
He’d also say things every now and then like"I have you figured out" . Another gem was when he told me he was happy I didn’t drink or smoke, but that he’d “put up with it for the sex”. I listened to this and I did not deck him, SO STUPID! This guy thought I needed sex? I was sleeping with him because I loved him! Yes, by now you might see that I am indeed one of those girls who is that way, sex is about connection for me and trust.
Then I finally had enough. I broke up with him after 6 months into our relationship. I was tired of the snide remarks, the attitude, the walking on eggshells and I had finally confronted him on all of it. What pushed it for me was him texting me and calling me “Hot Sex” instead of my name or even something like Baby or whatever, I was “Hot Sex”. “Sugar Titts”. I asked him point blank, since I was not sure based on his feedback!, if I was his girlfriend or if I was a bed warmer this was the time to tell me. He told he that I was someone important to him, and that he was sorry.
So sorry, he was just trying to be sexy, he won’t do that again, he told me he did not know how to appreciate such a great girl like me. I felt relieved that we had tried to date then saw that it wasn’t going to work but that we could still be friends. I began to feel like myself again and told him this. I agreed to meet up with him after we broken up on the basis that we could now just be friends.
He appeared sad, at times he’d go to the bathroom to splash water on his face… but I also sensed he was acting fake. I noted this and put it aside. I told myself I could handle this, and that I thought his puppy dog face was very unnatural-and it was. I gave in and took him back. I told myself that I had seen the man in the cellar, and that I could handle it. We got back together, the bad behavior stopped. We grew closer, even more so after having that first falling out.
We had many sweet months after that break up and makeup. It was exciting and also comforting to be with each other, I trusted him. I loved him. I enjoyed being around him, I looked forward to his emails and calls and to seeing him. He had fixed his behavior and that impressed me. I was proud he was my boyfriend, I was proud we had worked out the problems! On our year anniversary I remember feeling so relieved, like we made it! And it was much better. He was careful with me. I wanted him to meet my parents but was not ready to ask him if he wanted to yet. I thought I could marry this man, he had a lot of nice qualities and had never felt how I felt about him with anyone else before. I thought we were doing it right, we were doing our best working with each other and having a respectful relationship that would lead to a real future together. Our anniversary was in September.
Back ground foot note: I put down my dog Mossimo in July of that year. It was really hard, and around my birthday in November I was still so very sad. He was my best friend who made me feel safe as a single lady living on my own. He was a clown, he was my pride and joy, he was BEAUTIFUL. Seeing him in my house filled me with happiness and contentment- all I had needed was him for years. At 4 years old he had become aggressive to the point of being dangerous to others and I knew I had to put him down. It took six months of me training him to be comfortable in a basket muzzle ( and me not being afraid of putting in on him) so he’d be safe enough to handled at the vet to BE euthanized–he was that bad. Basket muzzle, po domitor, big doses of trazadone and gabapentin for multiple doses to be in his system simply to get him safe enough to walk INTO the vet. IM tranquiler on top of these medications for anyone to even be able to touch him.
Mossimo was a 90 pound Cane Corso with unpredictable aggression that now was zero to redzone. I was attacked by my own rescue dog who was also a Cane Corso and was unpredictably aggressive prior to me having Mossimo. That dog, 102# Nigel, attacked me unprovoked and it could have been way worse then what it was. That bite involved a facial laceration, skull laceration, breast laceration , hand laceration, and bicep laceration that all required stitches. He jumped on me and had his mouth around my head. My skull was exposed when I looked in the mirror after it happened. I put him down that day after I returned from the ER. That attack gave me a post traumatic stress response to certain types of dogs and certain types of canine ZERO TO REDZONE aggression. I’d shake, I had nightmares of being attacked. I was afraid of puppies after this attack for months. I am a vet tech however, so I had no choice but face these types of re-stressing situations everyday, I just had to face it.
So I was very very afraid the entire time was training Mossimo of putting the muzzle it his head after I had seen what his aggression was like.This was an everyday intense- this dog can bite me really bad- stress and I trained him everyday with that muzzle to get him trained. I was afraid of being by his face in any matter while he learned to accept his basket muzzle- but I was the only one who could handle him. It took 6 months of training him so I can send him to die and I knew it the whole time, that was the entire goal. This was going on while I was dating the guy above, and also putting Moss down was me deciding that I’ve had it and I want to be able to not have this animal who could seriously hurt my boyfriend in my house. I wanted to be more available for my relationship with this man.
I was so very sad after 
It really was a time of morning. So very sad. This dog meant a lot to me. And I told my boyfriend exactly why. I knew I was acting very sad and I wanted my boyfriend to know why so he did not think it was him. Looking back that is not totally accurate, because I was also sad because the bad behavior, snide caustic comments, dark moods, had started back up again with the guy on top of my morning over my dog.
I had deceived to tell this him about my marriage and all very bad stuff that had happened. I told him this because Mossimo had really helped me focus on a good thing, a meaningful creature to take care of and not the abuser I had gotten away from. Mossimo was a innocent dog who loved me and I did my best for him to take care of him and he appreciated it as only a dog can. Mossimo was also a 90# Cane Corso as well who would kill an intruder- and my ex was someone who had shown up uninvited to my house before and someone who had assaulted me in the past. Mossimo was a MY guard dog in many ways.
I told him graphic examples of how my ex had started destroying on my self esteem and belittling me form day one, the constant cheating, the ways he isolated me form my family, ways he kept me under control through various means, and the violence that started once I had tried to leave.
- This is related to my last post on this topic. One detail I told him was the something my parent’s neighbor had said. I came back home to my parents house after I left Texas which is where I was with my ex husband. I had to run away to go that, it took 3 attempts until I was successfully miles away from his proximity. She had told my mom that she didn’t recognize me now compared to when she first had met me I had changed so much. This lady had a head injury in the military and can be very upfront and borderline rude- she just says anything flat out without really considering if its rude or not. She told my mom that when she first met me, right after I had returned home from Texas, that I walked slumped over and with my head down. And I did. My body reacted to being in that relationship. My experience in Texas effected my body, when I talked my voice shook, I DID walk crumpled up - I was a destroyed person when I came home.
Months after being at home I had started school to be a vet tech was when she saw me again. She told my Mom that I walked tall now and looked very different. It was my posture. I was walking tall and it showed. I was investing my self by going learning a trade to have a new future. I wanted my boyfriend to know how far I had come, from a crumpled person to a girl who walked tall.
I also wanted to tell him the whole story because I needed to change my phone number. My ex husband had started contacting me again. He’d do this every now and then many years after I had left. He’d find me online or one of his girl friends would, or a friend I still stupidly would have contact with from Texas and he’d contact me. I did not answer his texts or calls, he did not stop. They were ramping up.
Sometimes the texts would be picture of him with cuts on his face, or of a gun, or of his arm cut up like he had lacerated himself to bleed out, or rambling ones about how he wanted to die and that he was going to kill himself, or crying ones on my voicemail. He also would call telling me its all my fault he is how he is. They progressed -my ex husband had my number and I needed to change it. I felt I needed to tell my boyfriend why I was changing it. I did not and still do not have a phone that lets you block texts, it wouldn’t matter because he’d call on different phones using different numbers. This guy had aliases and not all his friends even knew his real name, he’d go by different names with different people. I told my boyfriend about the content - that in these contacts my ex would show me his self abuse in an attempt to get my attention and my sympathy. I told him a lot.
I told him about the many, many, many women he cheated on me when I was married to him and living with him. Sometimes in my face sometimes behind my back. That he would call me his roommate to smooth things over if they anyone asked who I was. About other really bad things I’d wake up and see in my living room happening while I was asleep- walking in on the act while I was sleeping before going to work- I was the one who supported us financially. My ex was really bad, he did very bad things and after I left he got even worse. I had left him in 2005.
I was thinking this boyfriend and me had a future so I wanted to do everything right, to be very honest and to share with him the personal stuff in my life that that I’d only shared with very few people. I wanted he’d know and to help him understand me why i was so sad over Mossimo wen this guy had only known Mossimo at his dangerous worst. It was an act of trust, and a gift to him to share it with him to connect with him more. Instead I gave him all the ammunition in his mind against me for later that he would ever need.
In hindsight I though changing my number would be harder to do and that I’d have more work to reset my contacts and my work information and my apartment, bank, insurance info, etc, but that was not the case. I also didn’t want to have to change it- my ex-husband had done enough to harass my life and changing my number seemed like an chore yet again he’d cause me. I told my boyfriend about my past and I let it out. I told him the stuff I’d dealt with before. He listened. It wore me out completely, I told him a lot but not everything. Thank God I did not tel him everything.
This was in early November. A few weeks later was Thanksgiving. Tuesday before thanksgiving he disappears. The usual mid day text or email check ins that were daily stopped. This was very unusual. The Friday before he had texted me a strange text that seemed to be directed to someone else, someone who he was saying “yummy” emoji’s to. I had not texted him anything before that that would warrant that response…my blood pressure started to rise.
I knew that feeling way too well and its awful. When a man seems to be talking to another women- and sends that text to me. He then reappears the next day with a text at the end of the day while I’m at work saying he’s on his way to my house and we have to talk. I was already simmering with anger and not having it. I told him don’t come, it was way to late and he needed to ask prior to this - I had work the next day and was going to sleep. This was very weird behavior from him. He never had done this before, we always made plans a week in advance. He apologized and I went to bed.
The next day was Wednesday before thanksgiving and I didn’t know his schedule for work since he worked a lot of holidays. I was annoyed but not totally put off thinking this was a one off weird behavior thing he was doing. I wanted to ask him to meet my parents on thanksgiving if he was free.The night thanksgiving he emailed me while he was at work. He asked me if I was doing things behind his back to get his attention. He said his roommate- who had a drinking problem - was missing things and he was also noticing things messed up at his house. He asked me if I was playing tricks on him for get his attention.
I thought it was funny and laughed at first because I didn’t. I didn’t do anything! I’m not like that. I don’t tease people or play practical jokes and I did not ever go through his things at his place- I would not do that to his private stuff and I told him this. He replied back, stern. He didn’t believe me. That there was too many things he “couldn’t explain away as his drunk roommate forgetting things”. He said he was really worried about one thing in particular that his roommate was missing. She had accused him of taking it and when he denied it she countered that she didn’t loose, it and if he didn’t take it then I must have taken it being the only other person to go to their house. Instead of telling this drunken roommate, "No way! My girlfriend did not steal from you! How dare you say that! " He emails me asking me f I did and prodding me to confess to stealing from her.
“Green is your Color. " You talk bad about yourself” . “Don’t stand like that to kiss me” “Sugar Titts” “Don’t cross your arms” He doesn’t defend me - thinks I’m a thief. He thinks I’m doing things to get his attention.
I emailed back angrily!" NO! I did not take anything! Why are you saying this?"
He emails back quickly saying he “still thinks ( I) have some explaining to do”. He’s" too busy at work to go into this now" . He dismissed my anger and demands for an explanation by reminding me like I was a stupid that he was in fact at work emailing me and that he"had work to do and can’t go into this now". I wrote him back that this was not the end of this and he’d need to explain his side when he was not at work and could talk to me. He dismissed me. “I can’t go into this now”. He told me he’d call me the next day.
RAGE. RAGE. RAGE. I went to bed angry yet also my eyes were opening up. I woke up aware. Relieved. It now all made sense, I was feeling so down, so upset, depressed, like I had to fake smiling…and it was because of this guy who thought so little of me–I let this guy hang around me and sleep in my bed. I trusted him. A guy who thought I was a THIEF! A guy who thought I needed to steal from his roommate, for attention from I him??? I live on my own, I pay my own bills. I own my own car, I have no debt, I have a college degree, I paid off my student loans on my own by myself- facts. He told me he thought I stole from her. To get his attention.
It got worse. I call him in the morning- he hadn’t called me. He was at the gym. I asked him what the deal was with his email. He picked up the call like I was bothering him, his voice was different. In the email he had wrote that there was a specific idem his roommate was missing and that was what scared him the most. I asked him what this idem was . He told me a knife!
He thought I stole from his roommate who was a drunk. He did not defend me to her. He thought I stole a knife. He thought I stole a knife to get his attention. I asked him this. “You thought I was going to cut myself for you to see with a knife I stole form your roommate for your attention?” "yes! " he answers back again, like I’m annoying him. “When you told me about your past I thought you were so upset…” He then went on to muster out that he thought I was so sad after telling him about my past that I needed to steal from his roommate a knife to cut myself with to show him for attention from him.
That was it. I was astonished. He said he was at the gym and about to lift. I hung up. He calls back. I don’t pick up. I DID manage to text my favorite text I’ve ever texted to him: “Happy Thanksgiving. You are dumped”
THAT makes me smile whenever I think about it! :D!!! If only I had stayed strong. I went to my parents on Thanksgiving and told them everything, I was so shocked. As I was telling them I also was figuring out that this should not be so shocking-- he HAD revealed to me in the past that he did not respect me. It started at the beginning of the relationship before there was ever even a chance for him to have a bad thing to think about me, he had made up his mind to make fun of me and put me down. We had broken up and gotten back together and he had stopped the behavior then he had started again. I was confident I did the right thing. It WAS the right thing to dump this guy.
I knew this, I knew I had a solid reason to end it now no question about it. And I did not- a week alter I took him back! SO STUPID!!!
I felt bad for him. I told my sister this, she asked me then “what about YOU??” when I told her he was a good man who was so so sorry…
It didn’t last and I couldn’t do it, there was no coming back after that Thanksgiving stuff. After taking him back a week after Thanksgiving I called if off again. It was really done now.
He wrote apologetic emails. These emails also had other things in the too. He’d mix the apologies and explanations with things like " Your past was so bad you don’t know what a decent man is" , and “you only see the bad things I do and use it push away from me”. A mixture of I am sorry and “You are too messed up to know what a good man is, and I am a good man”.
I had dumped him and he had my library dvd’s I had rented for him at his house. I asked for them back,I also said if he wouldn’t then I was not going to chase him for it and i was never going to his house ever again. He wrote long apologetic emails, explaining his state of mind. He also then seid he’d bring the library dvd to the gym. The day he had sied he’d do it I drove there. 2 miles away on my way there there he texted saying he won’t be bringing them that day.
He also asked for his gifts back. “The necklace you never liked and the green sunblock hat I gave you. You never liked it and I’d liked to give it to my sister.” I did not respond to that. I DID Frisbee throw that green hat into the dumpster in front of my apartment. The necklace I kept.( I have since thrown it away) He eventually did leave the library rented dvds at the gym in a locker as well as $20 for what he said was late fees. I left his $20 there.
December came and went. He’d email here and there and I did not respond after the first few break up emails- that was very hard to do, to not write back. I was still so shocked by his accusation and totally blindsided by it. I knew I had to break up with him but I was still so surprised. Back stabbed, sucker punched.
He sent one email a day after his birthday and this time he was not apologetic, he was mad–that I didn’t wish him a happy birthday! He wotre me this .“You have to take responsibility for yourself, and your actions. You often turn anything good (or anyone) into something bad, and you magnify the negative and let your emotions run wild over any thought or consideration you may have. Yes, you had a horrible experience, with a worthless scumbag. Now, you don’t know the difference between that, and a good, decent man like me. But your stuck there, and you haven’t done anything to break that cycle.”
He told me I hadn’t done anything to break the cycle. RAGE.
I escaped from a violent man and I had to leave with everything I owned behind. It took me three tries to do each time more risky. I moved away and got a degree. I worked while I was in full time school at Walmart as a cashier to buy my Rav 4- the car I had purchased and paid off at 22 I had to leave in Texas- my ex had removed the engine and left me with out transportation for over a year. I graduated with honors from my tech school. I had lived abroad for six months after this. I had supported myself and lived on my own since 2009. I had paid off my student loans while working and living on my own.
This guy just told me I had done NONE of those things. Because I had dumped him for accusing me of stealing a knife from his roommate, to cut myself for him to see, to abuse him. YOU MOTHER FUCKER. OH, and I didn’t tell him Happy Birthday. That really ticked him off, that really shows I was a piece of shit right?
The worst is coming…you guessed it! What’s even more stupid is that I responded to this!!! I wrote him back telling him that I had felt bad for not contacting him on his birthday but that I was following through on my actions of dumping him. I told him I knew I had crossed the line when I told him “Fuck you” so I was removing myself from his presence, I was being responsible for what my words meant !! I knew it would cross the line and I said it, I knew it needed to be said, and I knew what it meant and I did it.
Some how I ended feeling sorry for him again. I felt sorry for the guy who hurt me! I thought in my head, had I done this I’d feel so sad that I lost a girl like me. That was my thought! I felt sorry for him. And a month later I took him back A week or so later., I told my sister this, she again was astonished at me and asked me then “what about YOU??” when I told her he was a good man who was so so sorry…
It took me a while to tell her I had taken him back. I waited a few weeks and told my sister back with this guy. I did do it though. I was doing my Self Authoring and was writing my goals of standing by my choices. I had chosen to take him back. My sister asked me if I had spoken to him about the accusation of stealing, and that I better be sure it was cleared up because it would show up again. She also asked me if this guy had asked me to marry him would I say yes? I told her I would say yes–my reasoning being that he always wanted to work on the problems in our relationship. Following up on her advise I later asked him to talk about that Thanksgiving day accusation. He told me he did not appreciate me bringing that subject up, that he never really though I had stolen from her. I told him I believed him.
A week later my I went to go to the gym and my car was stolen.
