Wow what a story, this stuff is rough but I know you’ll pull through it!
yeah, i’d go with talking over meds, too.
pretty pretty pretty pretty please try not to smoke right now. most stupid thing i ever did was starting smoking when things got stressful 3 months into a quit. well… if i disregard starting in the first place 
you don’t sound crazy to me either. just a little overwhelmed. which is understandable.
Emotions are running high with your husband back
celebrate your sucess MinM
Hi BettySue,
from one redhead to another, the anger thing is just in us. It is dormant and controlled for the most part, and that is why we are perceived as laid back, but underneath we are a simmering cauldron. It’s in our genes, just how our people are. When things set us off, our genetics take over.
I used to have holes in the walls, tools that are thrown around, shit like that. The only thing that has changed is that the kids are grown up, so their day to day issues are no longer such a big part of our day to day lives…and me and the wife have an understanding about when to talk about certain things. But inside, there is still that simmering cauldron that is waiting to erupt.
It does take the both of you to manage it.
I guess we can all take a poll do see who had the worst life while growing up, and for us who are obsessed with perfection or picking up heavy things, I doubt if you would find more than a few happy stories. suffice to say, you are definitely in good company around here.
for some reason, we are able to store away all the bad shit that has happened to us for a long time, get jobs, have babies…but sometime in our 30’s the shit comes barreling forward, and has to be dealt with. I’ve seen this with many of my friends, family and acquaintances. How you choose to deal with it is up to you.
Of course it never hurts to talk to a counselor. but a counselor will only guide you to self discovery and the forgiveness that leads to the healing. The healing will start and end within you. If you are like me, you will commit to work hard on it and be able to move on. Unfortunately, for some people, their chaos is such a part of them, that to depart from that disfunctionality only gives them an unsettled feeling, and they revert to what is normal to them, which is the chaos that is producing their own hell.
We’ve watched you use discipline to increase your strength, transform your figure and deal with the stress of the military life, I am sure that when you decide to attack the demons that haunt you, you will overcome them and be able to move on to peace and happiness. I truly believe that you have that in you.
you are in good company, and we are with you in this struggle.
Edgy~
Hey, who said I was a red head? 
That was very well said. Everything happens for a reason… you have to struggle to get stronger.
Btw, my daughter was born a red head. “IT,” is in her too. And she has no problem showing it on a daily basis which of course drives me up the FREAKING WALL. sigh
Thanks Edgy…Im anxious to talk to someone and move on. I was thinking though…some of my ‘issues,’ may also be stemming from my silly thyroid that may be outta whack and has been probably for a couple years.
And to let you all know I haven’t started smoking again and no nicotine patches. rawr.
Made it to the gym this morning. Did random leg stuff, playing with some of machines and what not. I’m already sore.
Gonna ride it out on my bike here in a bit.
Goin off the rails on the ctazy train…
new gym sounds like all kinds of awesomesauce!
if your diet isn’t too bad (which usually isn’t) I would up the cardio.
I think you need to show your them who is the pack leader. Oh wait, wrong show
Crazy train, chooo choooooo!!!
My diet is awesome.
I tried showin em who is boss, but got tired. Nerves are shot. So now I just feel tense and agitated when I’m supposed to be in control and teach them. Not cool.
But at least I’m doin somethin about it you know? I refuse, refuse, REFUSE!!! to constantly be frustrated and annoyed by my children, lol. I don’t want to be that guy. Maybe if I had a Mom who didn’t treat me a like an alien I would know how to better deal. Then again she didn’t have the best examples growing up and her Mom died when she was just 9.
I feel like I should laying on a couch. 
Anywhoo- no extra cardio this evening. I did squeeze in 15 min total while at the gym this morning. They have the PRECOR adaptive motion trainer thingies…
I tried the step mill, but it was hurty on my knees.
I took J. to the park and we played baseball(extra cardio?)
Hubby is taking the kids camping tomorrow afternoon/ night!!! HAPPY DANCE I will meet up with them Saturday afternoon and we will take our “boat” out.
But ya…looking forward to the quiet.
YAY! MiM time! Sounds like you need it
I think we’re a lot alike in that I also don’t seek out the help and consolation of others - I just don’t like to burden people with my problems. Which is also why I LOVE talking to therapists and counselors. I find it really helps me suss-out a lot of stuff without inundating friends/family with my crap, which, actually, isn’t the healthy choice - I should be actively seeking the help of my friends and family! ugh! Ever the work in progress…
Good job on the diet, and the non-smoking - keep on truckin’!
Just popping in to send some more positive energy your way.
I LOVE the “boat”.
Happy for your upcoming “me time”. You are a true warrior. Your strength of spirit will get you through this rough spot. You want to be better and that’s what counts.
Coming from experience, layin on a couch is awesome! Being a used as a psychaitry guineau pig for so many years Ive realized that Psycho-therapy is the tits.
Enjoy the boat yo!
I’ll take that happy dance!
Grrrrrrrrrr…no “me time.”
there’s isn’t any camping spots available on this entire base. It’s Memorial Day weekend Shoulda thought about that.
But Hubby will take them out for bowling/pizza …he’s a good sport. The Mom whos kid is coming over is going through some of what I’m feeling…so I know she can use the break as well…it was hard to say NO since she jumped right in to help when we needed it…Her hubby isn’t stationed here, but in NC. That was the closest he could get, but they already bought a house here. He gets to come home for two weeks like every 3 months. And her boy is having a lot of problems that require her ultimate test of will and sanity.
I wish I would have asked for help more. But I never wanted to appear ‘needy,’ or labeled as a bad Mom, etc…
Maschy your right! I never ask for help until, erm, I’m about to snap.
Never asked for anything growing up cause I would get rejected. I learned fast to just stop asking. It’s a hard behavior to break.
Thanks Sarah…a warrior. Maybe once I get through this, I will be. I can look back and laugh. HA!
Matty- that made me smile. Sounds like I’m in good company having you around.
I feel really comfortable with the counselor. She’s the same one I took us to last Summer. I do most of the talking, it’s great fun to hear what comes spewing out of my mouth.
DF- I feel like jumping into a mosh pit instead, rawr.
Made it to the gym this morning. Love that place! And Julia does too. Good vibes…
People look like they train. Yes, even the females! Inspires and motivates me…
Highlight was playing on the Jacobs ladder. just 2 min and I was outta breath. The best part was that it didn’t hurt my knees and I really felt it in my bum.
hang in there MiM… remember “this too shall pass”
Jacobs ladder? Sweeeet!
[quote]mom-in-MD wrote:
DF- I feel like jumping into a mosh pit instead, rawr.
[/quote]
I’m down for that too
I’m hangin. By a thread that is!
BUTTFML (see what I did there?)
The Women’s clinic called back. I was told no news was good news. And of course the office is closed now until Tuesday. 
What is going on in here, MIM. I got the Tennessee Honey and carton of cigarettes.
^poidh
Besides, smoking is bad for you.