If this keeps happening, just go outside and roll his car. I’m sure he’ll get the hint.
tyler,
if you are going to quote me do not do it selectively and to your advantage. here is a quote from my last post:
“if some a-hole said something to my girlfriend it would provoke an automatic physiological response within me. yes i can control it, if i choose to. but in a situation like that i see no reason to.”
the key point in that is that: yes i can control it IF i choose to.
no i do not fly off at the handle and act like a crazed lunatic. but if i feel that someone else?s actions warrant an altercation then i will act upon that.
for all of those saying that they hear 13 year olds talking about respect all the time. please do not lump these two situations together. a dumb ass 13 year old wannabee gang member saying that someone disrespected him because he wore the wrong color or because he gave him a dirty look is a totally different circumstance than this.
and to all the people who claim that you will be sued if you get in a fight etc. please tell me the last time you heard of someone getting sued over a fist fight between two consenting adults.
i have been in a few fights and i have friends that have also been in a few. never and i mean never has the even been as much as a mention of court.
i think the problem we have here is that those who are afraid to defend themselves or their girlfriends are coming up with excuses of why they are afraid. frankly i wouldnt give a shit if the dude sued me. if thats what happens thats what happens but at least i stood up for what i believe is right, and that is defending my girlfriend?s honor.
i think it is quite sad that we have come to a point in time where people would not defend their girlfriends because their afraid of being sued. maybe im different than you guys, maybe since i come from a very traditional family i value honor and respect more than more than most. i dont know. This may be a societal thing. If you were to talk about respect and honor in some of the ancient cultures those two things mean everything. I don?t know if we as Americans really know what it means to defend your honor, It seems that a lot of people here don?t.
i am not an advocate of violence, and to be honest if that dude would have done that to me i probably wouldn?t have done anything, but doing it to my girlfriend is a totally different story. what if it was your mom or your father or grandmother, would you defend them?
no matter what i say i will not change your minds nor will you change mine. we can agree to disagree, but i still believe that he should have stood up to this guy. and i will always defend my close friends and family members regardless of the consequences.
so let me get this straight…you are about to fight some guy because your girlfriend thought it was rude for taking a barbell without asking when you guys were done with it?
1.) I don’t get guys that will die for their girlfriends…not even their wife. Especially if the girl loves to run off at the mouth. If she had a problem with it, how come she didn’t say anything? Never fight over a female.
2.) He disrespected you by taking a barbell when you were done with it? Define respect? Who gives a fuck? You were finished.
My advice:
1.) Don’t go looking for trouble, but if it comes your way, bomb first.
2.) Drop your girl immediately. She seems the type to either a) run off at the mouth or b) get you into some shit that you don’t need to be in.
Machoism on the Internet ain’t worth a shot glass full of possum piss.
I’ve never heard so many cowards speak at once before …who said anything about dying? Some people here are so afraid of confrontation that they’re still hiding behind the fact that this is 2003 and “oooh, he might have a gun in his car” And you wouldn’t die defending your wife? Don’t let her in on that little tidbit of information …or are you even married? …girlfriend? If not, don’t give advice, you have nothing to base it on.
Anyway, I never said I’d fight this guy. I said, as Boxer Al did, and P-DOG implied that I’d take a little walk with the guy and call his bluff because I guarantee he’s not so brave without an audience - he’s a bully, if it comes to a fight so what, big deal …bigger things have happened to me in life that taking a beating. And you are right, I wouldn’t say a word if he took my barbell, but read the posts again …that’s not what we’re talking about, but if I have to define respect to you the point is not worth arguing, how old are you anyway?
Well this one has certainly got everyone?s juices flowing. A lot of, what I would do!
Fact is until you are in the situation no-one can say precisely what they would do.
That being said. You now have three choices. Engage in a physical confrontation with this guy. Shy away from it, but continue to work out at the times he does. Or number three, switch times, and enjoy both your workout and the time spent with your girlfriend.
Seems obvious which way to go.
Do you really need the very real possibility of legal hassles, both criminal and litigious, the risk of personal injury to both yourself and your girlfriend?
This is not an attempt to justify cowardice. Knowing you can take someone out, but walking away and showing some common sense is a vastly different ball game.
If you stay and continue to workout at those times what are you trying to prove? That you are not afraid? If you are not afraid then why not change your workout time?
It may not be fair. After all why should you? But life is not fair. Knowing you can take this guy down, but being sensible and choosing only to attack when there is not another option is the sensible, mature thing to do.
Finally at the risk of lumping myself with the other, what I would have done?s.
Engaging in woofing (verbal escalation in an attempt to make the other back down) is an exercise in futility. It is possible to nullify aggression without entering a screaming match…sometimes. Confidence, assertiveness, can be effective. If you are threatened though, attack pre-emptively. Do not wait to be struck, Attack! Unleashing everything you have. Make the decision that you have nothing to prove to anyone, but if forced into a situation where you are threatened, you will do everything in your power to eliminate that threat.
This then naturally leads down the path of how to attack.
A can of worms I am not about to open.
However, if you are interested, I will direct you to the appropriate information, in the area that has been termed by some as Close Quarter Combat. But which now is becoming as overrun with charlatans and the just plain deluded as all other areas of the martial arts.
This response was not meant to be condescending or patronising. Just a sincere expression of my own beliefs. If you or any other of the respondents in this thread disagree with them, that is your right to do so.
Also, if there is some weird grammar in this, it was composed on ms word, then pasted in.
i want to clarify one thing before everyone thinks im some kind of raging psycho.
i am not saying that i would just instantly start a fight with this dude. what im saying is that i would have made a comment to the effect of “havent you ever heard of a superset muther fucker?” or "why dont you mind your own business and dont worry about what we’re doing bitch!
if he didnt get the hint and he returned words, then it would result in a physical altercation. i would not just start dropping dogs on the guy without warning.
just wanted to clear that up.
avoidsroids, no one is trying to be macho, i clearly stated that i dont go looking for violence and i also stated that that guy may have stomped my brains in. read the entire thread before you comment.
I wonder if “Hater” has been back to his gym again and if so, I wonder how he made out?
I guess he just posted here because he had a problem and didn’t know how to deal with it - I hope we didn’t just confuse him more with all our bickering. I used to read these forums and shake my head at how the original point or question gets lost in the ensuing war of words …now I’m part of it.
I hope nobody took my words as a personal attack on themselves and more importantly, my apologies “Hater”, I hope there’s enough advice here for you to be able to figure out what you’re going to to …whatever that may be,
I agree with others who have already said that it’s because your girl ran her mouth that you’re in this situation. GFs have a way of getting you into situations that you would have never found yourself in the first place (like this one because you wouldnt have said anything to this guy on your own).
I’ll also agree with others who said that some women get “ballsy” like that because they know 99.9% of men would not trash a woman, no matter how out of place they are.
From P-Dog:
“avoidsroids, no one is trying to be macho, i clearly stated that i dont go looking for violence and i also stated that that guy may have stomped my brains in. read the entire thread before you comment.”
I didn’t know that I prefaced my words to you P-DOG but you apparently seem to think that I did. Hmmmmm, in that case, please accept my apologies.
On the other hand, I could merely repeat what you felt was an appropriate reply:
“why dont you mind your own business and dont worry about what we’re doing bitch!”
But, I would prefer not to look foolish, especially in front of my other half, so I will take the cowardly first way.
Pragmatic me. If you are doing OVT with your girlfriend you both are using barbell and dumbbell. Stagger your workouts so each of you is using one. If you don’t lift the same weights, rack 'em in between sets, only fair. There is the time when you are changing out weights, but both of you working together should minimize that. Keep both busy so equipment has little downtime and bonehead has no opportunity.
Build your bod, but use your brain to outsmart boneheads.
D
Pragmatic me. If you are doing OVT with your girlfriend you both are using barbell and dumbbell. Stagger your workouts so each of you is using one. If you don’t lift the same weights, rack 'em in between sets, only fair. There is the time when you are changing out weights, but both of you working together should minimize that. Keep both busy so equipment has little downtime and bonehead has no opportunity.
Build your bod, but use your brain to outsmart boneheads.
D
CDNSapper don’t call people cowards unless you can do so to their face. “Machoism on the Internet ain’t worth a shot glass full of possum piss.”
The state of affairs in america (assuming thats where you are) to do with the legal system and weapons related violence is only portrayed in australia by crap imported tv shows & media so please forgive my ignorance. Over here the cops would throw both bluers in the lockup. Criminal record = real bright & mine is long enough already from such past incidents. I prefer to blow off steam on the internet nowdays
I don’t think anyone is pondering this too deeply so lets not get too caught up.
I’ve had trouble signing on for some odd reason, but oh well. Thanks for everyone’s input on the situation. I’ve never been one quick to fight, but I’m always quick to stand up for me or for mine. Most of the time that’s all that needs to be done. If someone wants to push you around, they’ll do so because they think they can. Let them know they can’t, and that will usually be the end of it. I wasn’t going to let some guy push her around, so I stepped up to him. Not because I’m tough or anything, but because he was not going to push her around. If that didn’t do the trick, I would not have hesitated to use force. We got pretty tense, but that’s fine. He was pissed for some reason, I was pissed because of his reaction. I’m going to go out on a limb here, but I think the fight was averted because he realized how stupid it was. When I posted this on the forum, sure I was angry, but I was even more surprised at the stupidity of it all.
And yes, we’ve been going to the gym as normal and we’re still using the OVT program. We go to workout, not to worry about some situation that should have ended with the day. It’s over. He’s not a friend of mine, nor will I go out of my way to kiss his ass. I’m not going to intentionally be a dick, that’s not me, I’ll just do my thing and enjoy it. Like all of you, this is more than a hobby, it’s a way of living. I’m going to live it up.
And Greekdawg, I’m not calling you out, but you missed the point. It wasn’t about a barbell or dumbell, it was because of his response to a simple comment made by a girl. He responded aggressively at first, no big deal. It should have ended. But when he continued to yell, that’s when he disrespected her. There was no need for that. It’s not as if she said something out of line because she knew she could because of her sex. It was a simple comment made because what would have been the harm in asking if we were done. Most of you would have kept quiet especially since we were done, I know I would have, but she didn’t. Her comment still didn’t warrant that response.
Thanks again for the responses, I’m glad we had a nice discussion topic.
A couple things that I might have left out:
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We weren’t hogging equipment, it was me, her, and one other person on the bench. Before we started, we even asked if that guy needed anything we were going to be using. That’s my biggest pet peeve too, so I make double sure not to do that.
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She wasn’t running her mouth. She could have kept it to herself, but it’s not like she was being a bitch. If she was, I would have yelled at her myself. Once again, I also hate it when girls do that, so I wouldn’t let it happen.
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We still run into this guy at the gym, it’s over. I’m sure he has better things to worry about, I know I do, then some altercation in the gym.
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We’re making good progress on this program. Strength gains have been constant as well as changes in body composition. It’s fun to have someone to squat and deadlift with, even if it is a big hassle to change from my weight to hers.
O’Shea - make no mistake, I have no problem stating what I think of people to their face. That said, I see your point and I apologize if anyone took it personally as that was not the idea. I was making a generalization (is that a word?) and had nobody in mind but obviously you took offence - no hard feelings man.
I’m not in the states, I’m Canadian but I have spent a lot of time in the US and I am aware of the legal situation when it comes to situations such as this one …but that doesn’t change the fact that I don’t think it should be the biggest consideration in all cases, which is the point I was trying to make.
hater - glad you were able to sort everything out, and I know what you mean …I’m currently doing OVT with my wife as a partner.
Didn’t Mr. Miyagi (sp?) tell Daniel in Karate Kid that don’t lean karate to fight, but rather so you don’t have to? Or something like that? I see a lot of stupid shit in my gym, but everyone is always very courteous about asking if you are done with something, sometimes 10-15 minutes after you have left the area. Sounds like this guy was being an ass…So who cares? Just knowing you are a better human being because you don’t talk shit to a girl should be good enough. Going to jail and having a felony assault and battery charge on your record will get you absolutely nowhere.
Go up to him and whisper, “you fucked with the wrong guy pal.”
If that doesn’t shut his ego down … just wait until he leaves the gym, and just fuck his shit up.
I hate gym bitches that they think they run the place. Just shut him up, or fuck his face up and a submission move after he is near knocked out UFC style !!!
Go get um bud.
CDNSapper - Was having a bad day/s so normally I wouldn’t have either. Point taken & no hard feelings from this end either.
Hater - Every post I have ever made in anger has always been misunderstood. Isn’t that vierd???