21 Y/O Male - Advice Needed

[quote]dt79 wrote:

[quote]dave670 wrote:
Does quitting a job where I get screamed at by insensitive aggressive men all day make me a fairy / pansy / faggot / pussy? There’s an inner impulse in me that wishes to chart my own path and not be led all the time. [/quote]
If you want to chart your own path, be prepared to be yelled at by even more insensitive aggressive men. And women. And you will fail. You will also find out that, although you work for alleged assholes and take shit daily, doing it without the weight of the success/failure of the entire company on your back was actually a luxury by comparison.

The only way you will succeed is to not be affected by this shit first.[/quote]
If being affected by shit is the issue, then I guess I am just a pansy.

[quote]dave670 wrote:
The only way you will succeed is to not be affected by this shit first.[/quote]
If being affected by shit is the issue, then I guess I am just a pansy.
[/quote]

The issue is that you are terribly insecure. Nothing you do on the outside will change that. Some of it may help - in general, doing things you’re proud of will help - but right now you just hate yourself and ask strangers on the internet what they think about you like it matters. I think working out would be good for you, don’t get me wrong. However, what you really need to fix is your self-perception.

[quote]dt79 wrote:

[quote]flipcollar wrote:
It’s becoming clear that your issues run much deeper than what we can help with. Counseling would not be a bad idea. You’ve got mental barriers that you’re not overcoming through this discussion.[/quote]
Agreed.[/quote]

Agreed x2

[quote]flipcollar wrote:
It’s becoming clear that your issues run much deeper than what we can help with. Counseling would not be a bad idea. You’ve got mental barriers that you’re not overcoming through this discussion.[/quote]

x2 also next time you start an issues/whinge thread do it in the Get a Life Forum

[quote]dave670 wrote:

[quote]dt79 wrote:

[quote]dave670 wrote:
Does quitting a job where I get screamed at by insensitive aggressive men all day make me a fairy / pansy / faggot / pussy? There’s an inner impulse in me that wishes to chart my own path and not be led all the time. [/quote]
If you want to chart your own path, be prepared to be yelled at by even more insensitive aggressive men. And women. And you will fail. You will also find out that, although you work for alleged assholes and take shit daily, doing it without the weight of the success/failure of the entire company on your back was actually a luxury by comparison.

The only way you will succeed is to not be affected by this shit first.[/quote]
If being affected by shit is the issue, then I guess I am just a pansy.
[/quote]
How about cupcake? Cupcake sounds nicer.

Look, no, that does not make you a pansy. The previous generation has worked very hard so that your’s has the option of multiple career choices that don’t require you to take so much shit but still allowing you to make a decent living.

I am saying that your intention to strike out on your own is for the avoidance of shit, and not because you have some viable business idea or talent that you can capitalize on. I am giving you the reality of such a path. It is literally walking into a shitstorm, at least for the first couple of years. If you can’t take shit, you will fail. There are many other career options that you can consider with far less stress, but do understand, that there are assholes everywhere.

Speak to a counselor.

[quote]dt79 wrote:
I am saying that your intention to strike out on your own is for the avoidance of shit, and not because you have some viable business idea or talent that you can capitalize on. I am giving you the reality of such a path. It is literally walking into a shitstorm, at least for the first couple of years. If you can’t take shit, you will fail. There are many other career options that you can consider with far less stress, but do understand, that there are assholes everywhere.[/quote]
This, very very much so.

Had I know that from the outset, I’d have probably made the same choices, but I would have taken some of the earlier stuff a bit less personally. Cybernetic homeostasis can be a bitch.

[quote]dt79 wrote:

[quote]dave670 wrote:

[quote]dt79 wrote:

[quote]dave670 wrote:
Does quitting a job where I get screamed at by insensitive aggressive men all day make me a fairy / pansy / faggot / pussy? There’s an inner impulse in me that wishes to chart my own path and not be led all the time. [/quote]
If you want to chart your own path, be prepared to be yelled at by even more insensitive aggressive men. And women. And you will fail. You will also find out that, although you work for alleged assholes and take shit daily, doing it without the weight of the success/failure of the entire company on your back was actually a luxury by comparison.

The only way you will succeed is to not be affected by this shit first.[/quote]
If being affected by shit is the issue, then I guess I am just a pansy.
[/quote]
How about cupcake? Cupcake sounds nicer.

Look, no, that does not make you a pansy. The previous generation has worked very hard so that your’s has the option of multiple career choices that don’t require you to take so much shit but still allowing you to make a decent living.

I am saying that your intention to strike out on your own is for the avoidance of shit, and not because you have some viable business idea or talent that you can capitalize on. I am giving you the reality of such a path. It is literally walking into a shitstorm, at least for the first couple of years. If you can’t take shit, you will fail. There are many other career options that you can consider with far less stress, but do understand, that there are assholes everywhere.

Speak to a counselor.[/quote]
I think I’ll just self medicate myself into oblivion and then I won’t be affected by the shit as much. No point in trying to use my intelligence or talents, I’ll just be a beast of burden for life and accept that I have to work for assholes all my life. Best to realize this now instead of further down the line, where the disappointment will just be greater.

Yes massa!

[quote]dave670 wrote:

[quote]dt79 wrote:

[quote]dave670 wrote:

[quote]dt79 wrote:

[quote]dave670 wrote:
Does quitting a job where I get screamed at by insensitive aggressive men all day make me a fairy / pansy / faggot / pussy? There’s an inner impulse in me that wishes to chart my own path and not be led all the time. [/quote]
If you want to chart your own path, be prepared to be yelled at by even more insensitive aggressive men. And women. And you will fail. You will also find out that, although you work for alleged assholes and take shit daily, doing it without the weight of the success/failure of the entire company on your back was actually a luxury by comparison.

The only way you will succeed is to not be affected by this shit first.[/quote]
If being affected by shit is the issue, then I guess I am just a pansy.
[/quote]
How about cupcake? Cupcake sounds nicer.

Look, no, that does not make you a pansy. The previous generation has worked very hard so that your’s has the option of multiple career choices that don’t require you to take so much shit but still allowing you to make a decent living.

I am saying that your intention to strike out on your own is for the avoidance of shit, and not because you have some viable business idea or talent that you can capitalize on. I am giving you the reality of such a path. It is literally walking into a shitstorm, at least for the first couple of years. If you can’t take shit, you will fail. There are many other career options that you can consider with far less stress, but do understand, that there are assholes everywhere.

Speak to a counselor.[/quote]
I think I’ll just self medicate myself into oblivion and then I won’t be affected by the shit as much. No point in trying to use my intelligence or talents, I’ll just be a beast of burden for life and accept that I have to work for assholes all my life. Best to realize this now instead of further down the line, where the disappointment will just be greater.

Yes massa! [/quote]
Do you sparkle under direct sunlight?

[quote]dave670 wrote:
I think I’ll just self medicate myself into oblivion and then I won’t be affected by the shit as much. No point in trying to use my intelligence or talents, I’ll just be a beast of burden for life and accept that I have to work for assholes all my life. Best to realize this now instead of further down the line, where the disappointment will just be greater.

Yes massa! [/quote]

Have you tried taking a positive outlook on life?

[quote]dave670 wrote:

[quote]dt79 wrote:

[quote]dave670 wrote:

[quote]dt79 wrote:

[quote]dave670 wrote:
Does quitting a job where I get screamed at by insensitive aggressive men all day make me a fairy / pansy / faggot / pussy? There’s an inner impulse in me that wishes to chart my own path and not be led all the time. [/quote]
If you want to chart your own path, be prepared to be yelled at by even more insensitive aggressive men. And women. And you will fail. You will also find out that, although you work for alleged assholes and take shit daily, doing it without the weight of the success/failure of the entire company on your back was actually a luxury by comparison.

The only way you will succeed is to not be affected by this shit first.[/quote]
If being affected by shit is the issue, then I guess I am just a pansy.
[/quote]
How about cupcake? Cupcake sounds nicer.

Look, no, that does not make you a pansy. The previous generation has worked very hard so that your’s has the option of multiple career choices that don’t require you to take so much shit but still allowing you to make a decent living.

I am saying that your intention to strike out on your own is for the avoidance of shit, and not because you have some viable business idea or talent that you can capitalize on. I am giving you the reality of such a path. It is literally walking into a shitstorm, at least for the first couple of years. If you can’t take shit, you will fail. There are many other career options that you can consider with far less stress, but do understand, that there are assholes everywhere.

Speak to a counselor.[/quote]
I think I’ll just self medicate myself into oblivion and then I won’t be affected by the shit as much. No point in trying to use my intelligence or talents, I’ll just be a beast of burden for life and accept that I have to work for assholes all my life. Best to realize this now instead of further down the line, where the disappointment will just be greater.

Yes massa! [/quote]

Oh grow up man. No one wants to throw you a fucking pity party. You think you’re the only person who’s ever had obstacles to overcome? Jesus Christ dude. You’re 21. When I was your age (actually I was 22), I was a 130 lbs drug addict, a college dropout, on the brink of homelessness, facing felony possession charges.

10 years later, I’ve got a comfortable 6 figure income, the body I want, a beautiful wife, my own house, and 3 nice cars. And 6 chickens, for whatever that’s worth. You can turn things around if you commit to it. Take your drama queen bullshit somewhere else. When you started this thread, I thought you were earnestly asking for advice, which you’ve received. You’ve misled all of us.

[quote]flipcollar wrote:

Oh grow up man. No one wants to throw you a fucking pity party. You think you’re the only person who’s ever had obstacles to overcome? Jesus Christ dude. You’re 21. When I was your age (actually I was 22), I was a 130 lbs drug addict, a college dropout, on the brink of homelessness, facing felony possession charges.

10 years later, I’ve got a comfortable 6 figure income, the body I want, a beautiful wife, my own house, and 3 nice cars. And 6 chickens, for whatever that’s worth. You can turn things around if you commit to it. Take your drama queen bullshit somewhere else. When you started this thread, I thought you were earnestly asking for advice, which you’ve received. You’ve misled all of us.
[/quote]

Enough with that, I would rather hear life advice from you Flip. Whatever it is, you did something right and I want to know what that is. I’m sure I’m not the only one here thinking that. From drug addicted skinny college dropout to the guy living the american dream, how did ya do that?

[quote]Benanything wrote:

Enough with that, I would rather hear life advice from you Flip. Whatever it is, you did something right and I want to know what that is. I’m sure I’m not the only one here thinking that. From drug addicted skinny college dropout to the guy living the american dream, how did ya do that?[/quote]

I second this. Any man who owns more than 4 chickens is worth listening to.

1 Like

[quote]Benanything wrote:

[quote]flipcollar wrote:

Oh grow up man. No one wants to throw you a fucking pity party. You think you’re the only person who’s ever had obstacles to overcome? Jesus Christ dude. You’re 21. When I was your age (actually I was 22), I was a 130 lbs drug addict, a college dropout, on the brink of homelessness, facing felony possession charges.

10 years later, I’ve got a comfortable 6 figure income, the body I want, a beautiful wife, my own house, and 3 nice cars. And 6 chickens, for whatever that’s worth. You can turn things around if you commit to it. Take your drama queen bullshit somewhere else. When you started this thread, I thought you were earnestly asking for advice, which you’ve received. You’ve misled all of us.
[/quote]

Enough with that, I would rather hear life advice from you Flip. Whatever it is, you did something right and I want to know what that is. I’m sure I’m not the only one here thinking that. From drug addicted skinny college dropout to the guy living the american dream, how did ya do that?[/quote]

So I believe that you can make a lot of mistakes in life, and still be successful. You just have to get a handful of things right.

For me, it started with getting clean. I was going nowhere when I was a coke addict. My life was becoming more and more unmanageable. I was also an alcoholic. I was literally throwing up at bars several times a week, and trying to live that way. I couldn’t hold down any sort of job. I was getting by through playing cards. I went through about a year and a half of court-appointed rehab, varying in intensity throughout the program. I was making at least 5 AA meetings per week.

The above is obviously not something everyone has to go through, but it served me in more ways than just getting clean. It taught me how to dedicate myself to a purpose. I’m a really smart guy by any metric, I’ve always scored genius-level on IQ tests and such, aced the SAT (full academic scholarship to an expensive private school, which I squandered), so that benefited me a great deal when I got clean. When I finally put that together with a reasonably good work ethic, I was able to improve my life the way I wanted to. This applies to work and gym.

I’ve also cultivated a winning personality, something I didn’t have growing up. I learned to make people laugh, which is something that can take you very far, socially and otherwise. This may have taken as much, if not more, effort than anything else. Paying a lot of attention to how people react to me, learning to smile at people all the time, listening to people and engaging them appropriately, finding ways to talk about myself without being self-indulgent. It’s really a lot of work, but well worth it.

This obviously isn’t everything, but at the end of the day, I guess I believe in working hard and working smart. And learning what makes me actually happy, not trying to fit a mold that doesn’t work for me. Learning to embrace my passion (lifting) when I have essentially no support from people close to me in that regard. Performing work tasks that I really don’t like, because I see a bigger picture beyond what I’m doing in the moment.

Hopefully this helps some. I think most of this is pretty generic, and it seems easy enough. Conceptually it is. The difficulty in being successful is that it requires practice and patience. Daily. And it takes time. I know some people who were successful at 21, but not very many. But if you spend a decade or more pushing yourself towards success, I think there’s a very good chance you’ll find it. It doesn’t have to be financial either. I’ve learned how un-fullfilling the acquisition of capital can be. If you’re not pursuing something passionately outside of work (or making your passion and work the same thing), you’re gonna have a bad time.

[quote]Iron Condor wrote:

[quote]Benanything wrote:

Enough with that, I would rather hear life advice from you Flip. Whatever it is, you did something right and I want to know what that is. I’m sure I’m not the only one here thinking that. From drug addicted skinny college dropout to the guy living the american dream, how did ya do that?[/quote]

I second this. Any man who owns more than 4 chickens is worth listening to.[/quote]

Any man who owns more than 4 chickens is a goddamn fool! I’ve got exactly 1 hen laying eggs right now. The others are just being useless. It’s terrible. And I’ve probably invested 1000 dollars in building them a fancy fucking coop that they DON’T EVEN APPRECIATE!!!

Nah, they’re alright though.

[quote]flipcollar wrote:

[quote]Iron Condor wrote:

[quote]Benanything wrote:

Enough with that, I would rather hear life advice from you Flip. Whatever it is, you did something right and I want to know what that is. I’m sure I’m not the only one here thinking that. From drug addicted skinny college dropout to the guy living the american dream, how did ya do that?[/quote]

I second this. Any man who owns more than 4 chickens is worth listening to.[/quote]

Any man who owns more than 4 chickens is a goddamn fool! I’ve got exactly 1 hen laying eggs right now. The others are just being useless. It’s terrible. And I’ve probably invested 1000 dollars in building them a fancy fucking coop that they DON’T EVEN APPRECIATE!!!

Nah, they’re alright though.[/quote]
lol hey Flip going to be in your neck of the woods this weekend hope the weather is nice.

Love Chickens.

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

[quote]flipcollar wrote:

[quote]Iron Condor wrote:

[quote]Benanything wrote:

Enough with that, I would rather hear life advice from you Flip. Whatever it is, you did something right and I want to know what that is. I’m sure I’m not the only one here thinking that. From drug addicted skinny college dropout to the guy living the american dream, how did ya do that?[/quote]

I second this. Any man who owns more than 4 chickens is worth listening to.[/quote]

Any man who owns more than 4 chickens is a goddamn fool! I’ve got exactly 1 hen laying eggs right now. The others are just being useless. It’s terrible. And I’ve probably invested 1000 dollars in building them a fancy fucking coop that they DON’T EVEN APPRECIATE!!!

Nah, they’re alright though.[/quote]
lol hey Flip going to be in your neck of the woods this weekend hope the weather is nice.

Love Chickens. [/quote]

Don’t count on it. Supposed to rain all weekend. I’m hoping it clears up for at least a few hours tomorrow night. It’s raining right now. What part of town are you gonna be in?

[quote]flipcollar wrote:

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

[quote]flipcollar wrote:

[quote]Iron Condor wrote:

[quote]Benanything wrote:

Enough with that, I would rather hear life advice from you Flip. Whatever it is, you did something right and I want to know what that is. I’m sure I’m not the only one here thinking that. From drug addicted skinny college dropout to the guy living the american dream, how did ya do that?[/quote]

I second this. Any man who owns more than 4 chickens is worth listening to.[/quote]

Any man who owns more than 4 chickens is a goddamn fool! I’ve got exactly 1 hen laying eggs right now. The others are just being useless. It’s terrible. And I’ve probably invested 1000 dollars in building them a fancy fucking coop that they DON’T EVEN APPRECIATE!!!

Nah, they’re alright though.[/quote]
lol hey Flip going to be in your neck of the woods this weekend hope the weather is nice.

Love Chickens. [/quote]

Don’t count on it. Supposed to rain all weekend. I’m hoping it clears up for at least a few hours tomorrow night. It’s raining right now. What part of town are you gonna be in?[/quote]

Coming for the Dallas/Seattle game Sunday.

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

[quote]flipcollar wrote:

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

[quote]flipcollar wrote:

[quote]Iron Condor wrote:

[quote]Benanything wrote:

Enough with that, I would rather hear life advice from you Flip. Whatever it is, you did something right and I want to know what that is. I’m sure I’m not the only one here thinking that. From drug addicted skinny college dropout to the guy living the american dream, how did ya do that?[/quote]

I second this. Any man who owns more than 4 chickens is worth listening to.[/quote]

Any man who owns more than 4 chickens is a goddamn fool! I’ve got exactly 1 hen laying eggs right now. The others are just being useless. It’s terrible. And I’ve probably invested 1000 dollars in building them a fancy fucking coop that they DON’T EVEN APPRECIATE!!!

Nah, they’re alright though.[/quote]
lol hey Flip going to be in your neck of the woods this weekend hope the weather is nice.

Love Chickens. [/quote]

Don’t count on it. Supposed to rain all weekend. I’m hoping it clears up for at least a few hours tomorrow night. It’s raining right now. What part of town are you gonna be in?[/quote]

Coming for the Dallas/Seattle game Sunday. [/quote]

That hotel’s so awesome. You been there before?

Enjoy watching Cassel throw passes directly to Richard Sherman all day.

[quote]dave670 wrote:
Well as I mentioned increasing DHT and natural test levels would be nice. I care more about that than gaining mass [/quote]

You do not want to increase DHT, unless you want to lose your hair and have a prostate the size of an orange. T and free T is what you want to increase. There are plenty of natural supplements that can assist with raising your T levels.
Clean living can boost your T levels of course, but by how much is determined by genetics. So supplements are your best bet of raising testosterone levels. I had pretty good luck with TRIBEX sold right here on T-Nation. How much is again determined by your genetics.
Sounds like also your setting your bar a bit low. You need big explosive movements to really put on some size. Lift heavy, lift hard and eat.

Sorry if this causes some to take offense, but I think this thread has gone in the wrong direction:

I agree that the OP has issues that probably go beyond the help that can be provided on an online forum, and that he may benefit from some type of counseling. I also agree that his attitude is not something that many on this board will either understand or respect. That does not justify the types of belittling and demeaning responses that it has generated.

Those responses from posters including flipcollar and dagill are more a reflection upon them than it is a denouncing of the OP. If someone says they are feeling suicidal, you do not call them cowardly and say they ‘won’t do it.’ If a person is clearly facing some type of depression, you do not respond by telling that person that they are pathetic, weak, etc.

You guys are purportedly adults: this is not hard.

Then flipcollar writes a long post about his early struggles followed by what I can only describe as a paen to his own greatness. Flipcollar, here I will make some direct comments: first, that I do not think I have met any people who are actually well educated or intelligent who would describe themselves as “really smart by any metric” (though congratulations on your high SAT score…). You lost years of your life in terms of development and education to your addictions and own problems–it’s admirable that you recovered, but that doesn’t mean you have gotten that time in terms of education back. Your attitude in this thread certainly does not reflect well upon your having “cultivated a winning personality,” and you can talk about having built your body up over the years, your lack of ab work in other threads, etc, but you should also mention in fairness that you are using certain substances that others eschew for reasons of either legality or whatever moral qualms they might have.

That’s not to say that everything in the past two pages or so of this thread are entirely unhelpful, but I just think it has gone down entirely the wrong track. The OP may hopefully take from this thread that maybe he should talk to a parent, friend or counselor about how he is feeling before it goes to down a road he does not want. But I think that a lot on here has been some combination of unproductive, self-indulgent beating up on someone, and juvenile.

I guess that’s my $.02.