Trivium Can't Compete

Off Topic
1

So I realized that I am an AFC the other day while reading the other dating post that was up in here, so I thought I would create this thread so that I can figure out what is going on with my game, and so that we can all maybe have a bit of fun at my expense.

Ok…so I have not been in an actual relationship for approximately 2 years now. This is not for lack of trying. I’ve stayed open to the idea.

Various people keep telling me that women like me/think I am good looking, but I never personally get any of those vibes.

I am 24 (5’10" at 205-215 lbs depending on day), have little to no baggage, an IQ around 130, a new car, and will hopefully be getting my master’s degree in the next few months.

I play guitar (bitches love guitar), a decent PL total for a beginner (enough to be one of the strongest guys in most regular gyms, so women should definitely be impressed), and I want to start building cars in the near future in the garage (women supposedly like cars). I also love the outdoors, and go camping for weeks at a time away from civilization (haven’t done this for a while due to school).

I have hobbies, a decent/playful/engaging personality, am respectful, etc…(you know, all the right answers)

I have never been turned down in person until recently, but I haven’t had the opportunity to ask any girls out in so long. (I basically wait until it is a sure thing before I ask, so don’t be too impressed here.)

I am not super good looking, but also I am not an ugly guy.

All I am going to say is, what gives?

I had tickets to a pretty big baseball game on 2 separate nights of the week, and I got shut down twice. You would have thought that the other ticket I was trying to give away was a hand-grenade dipped in AIDS.

Are women not in to guys like me?

I know several people back home who literally date or are FWB with a new girl every month. I, who happens to be a bit slower moving in that respect, cannot even get a date.

It seems like I cannot compete with other guys who have minimum wage jobs, and no serious hobbies (lots of spare time).

I don’t get paid for school which takes up 40-70 hours a week depending, and have homework/assignments on top of that 40-70 hours. As you can guess, I don’t have a job, but I am never without a few bucks to go do fun things (like the baseball games above).

I mean this sounds pathetic, but I have almost gotten to the point where I don’t even want to talk to women anymore. I have had some odd experiences in past relationships that kind of make me a bit jaded about the whole situation (I have been told that my personality can be “socially abrasive” at times, but some people seem to love that).

I asked one girl if she wanted to go grab lunch one time, and she said she didn’t want a serious relationship right now…I was literally just talking about lunch, not getting married. WTF?

I can’t talk to women in a lot of situations, because I know that I will be branded as a creep. (Remember guys, she is not going to the bar to meet guys/get attention, she is only out to have a good night with her friends, and us guys are jerks for trying to get her number and therefore ruining her night.)

When girls do give me attention, I have like 8 trying to get my attention all at once, but none are serious about being around very much. It is odd.

I am very straight forward, open, and honest.

Maybe I really am an AFC?

I think this sounds like a personal problem. What do you guys think?

(So before I get flamed, remember there was some sarcasm in there…)

2

This is what your post sounds like… ‘I’m good looking, smart, athletic, polite, and hard working, why don’t girls like me?’

Hate to break it to you, but that’s exactly why they don’t like you. I’m assuming women find you boring and as an ideal option for a boyfriend… 3 or 4 years from now.

There is no edge to you, and given your aversion to approaching them directly and being branded as a creep your interest in them comes off as needy and desperate to have a girlfriend and not that you think they are fucking sexy and awesome.

You seem to be very Type A personality wise and you possibly try to curtail your aggression when it comes to interacting with women for fear of being seen as an asshole, but you gotta use it to your advantage. They will find it attractive, trust me.

Don’t change anything about yourself, you just gotta be more direct with women, you sound like you think pretty highly of yourself so express that in how you approach women.

You’re like a Vernon Gholston of dating, on paper you’re All-Pro, but you get on the field and you play like a bitch. Stop trying to get dates and try to get laid, the dates and relationships will come. Good luck and quit being such a pussy.

3

sounds to me like you think you’re way more desirable than you actually are, and girls are picking up on that.

4

Fat Chicks. Nothing better in the sack or for confidence, you seem to like yourself already, but fat chicks will make you think you are the Messiah.

5

[quote]SuperVillian wrote:
Stop trying to get dates and try to get laid, the dates and relationships will come.
[/quote]

You are wise.

6

What the fuck is an AFC?

7

Just go on Match.com like everyone else already.

8

[quote]usmccds423 wrote:
What the fuck is an AFC?[/quote]

AFC = average frustrated chump.

9

[quote]trivium wrote:

[quote]usmccds423 wrote:
What the fuck is an AFC?[/quote]

AFC = average frustrated chump.[/quote]

Hmmmm

10

[quote]MattyXL wrote:
Fat Chicks. Nothing better in the sack or for confidence, you seem to like yourself already, but fat chicks will make you think you are the Messiah.[/quote]

This. Girls can smell it on you when you are having trouble getting girls. Poke a fat chick or two, problem solved and you get a new smell. One that says I don’t have trouble getting girls.

11

[quote]jjackkrash wrote:
problem solved and you get a new smell. One that says I don’t have trouble getting girls. [/quote]

I thought you were going to say Bacon.

12

[quote]SuperVillian wrote:
This is what your post sounds like… ‘I’m good looking, smart, athletic, polite, and hard working, why don’t girls like me?’

Hate to break it to you, but that’s exactly why they don’t like you. I’m assuming women find you boring and as an ideal option for a boyfriend… 3 or 4 years from now.

There is no edge to you, and given your aversion to approaching them directly and being branded as a creep your interest in them comes off as needy and desperate to have a girlfriend and not that you think they are fucking sexy and awesome.

You seem to be very Type A personality wise and you possibly try to curtail your aggression when it comes to interacting with women for fear of being seen as an asshole, but you gotta use it to your advantage. They will find it attractive, trust me.

Don’t change anything about yourself, you just gotta be more direct with women, you sound like you think pretty highly of yourself so express that in how you approach women.

You’re like a Vernon Gholston of dating, on paper you’re All-Pro, but you get on the field and you play like a bitch. Stop trying to get dates and try to get laid, the dates and relationships will come. Good luck and quit being such a pussy.
[/quote]

I do have an interesting past, but that has all had to end for me to be able to get to where I am now.

The whole too good thing is kind of hard to understand for me.

I can see being a good pick up for a 28-32 something, but I would think that some lucky young gal would want to get in on the action while the gettin is good.

On the second part of the post: Noted.

Thanks for the reply.

13

Well, a few thoughts.

Every IQ point above average means a rise of 3% of your chances of staying a virgin in highschool, I know you are not in highschool, I am just saying that intelligence is not exactly a plus when it comes to getting laid.

Then, you are the man, it is your job to get laid, it is her job to get you into a relationship.

YOU never try to get anyone into a relationship.

At best you get dragged in kicking and screaming into a relationship and you only let it happen because she is just that awesome.

You will come off as creepy sooner or later.

So?

Say whatever comes to your head, if you dont give a shit, they dont give a shit.

For example I explained that to a 19 year old girl that I though internet porn is ruining a whole generation of young men because I had to sneak a mail order catalogue to the bathroom in order to masturbate whereas now its only a mouseclick away, we had to show courage and initiative!

She looked around, checked if anyone was offended, nobody was, so she decided that she would not be either.

That was in a classroom full of people.

DO NOT DO THAT IN AN US UNIVERSITY!!!

You are to clever by half anyway, more balls, less brain.

14

[quote]jjackkrash wrote:

[quote]MattyXL wrote:
Fat Chicks. Nothing better in the sack or for confidence, you seem to like yourself already, but fat chicks will make you think you are the Messiah.[/quote]

This. Girls can smell it on you when you are having trouble getting girls. Poke a fat chick or two, problem solved and you get a new smell. One that says I don’t have trouble getting girls. [/quote]

Slumpbuster!!!

15

[quote]MattyXL wrote:
Fat Chicks. Nothing better in the sack or for confidence, you seem to like yourself already, but fat chicks will make you think you are the Messiah.[/quote]

Hoggin?

I just can’t man.

Not worth it to me for some reason?

16

You’re inside your head too much and have a lot of bullshit internalized.

“I mean this sounds pathetic, but I have almost gotten to the point where I don’t even want to talk to women anymore.
I can’t talk to women in a lot of situations, because I know that I will be branded as a creep.”

Women love attention and like people to feel interested in them. Confidence and leading are important, but that doesn’t mean detaching yourself from the situation and not taking an interest in the other person. To simplify: if you are not genuinely excited by the interaction and to be talking to the girl, WHY should she be excited to talk to you??

You gotta erase that “I don’t even wanna talk to women” with the idea that “I want engaging, playful, and fun interactions with women”. Focus on enjoying the process to get the prize.

Besides going outside of social norms like in Orion’s post, the creep thing is probably because your eyes are on the prize and they can feel it. And since you are making some poor assumptions you may be obstructing yourself again. If you ASSUME it’s not the time nor place to approach the girl and that you are likely to be branded a creep, it is going to color your entire conversation.

"All I am going to say is, what gives?
Are women not in to guys like me? "

Short answer: No.
Long answer: women are not into liking someone because that person feels they have earned some kind of right to attraction. It is not a matter of meeting some minimum criteria and being owed something. Reading your post, it does feel that you seem to think you deserve attention.

You have to create attraction, arouse her, peak her interest.

my two cents TLDR: you are highly invested in yourself and have tons of interests but need to learn how to take more interest in people. Due to past interactions that went poorly. you are internalizing a lot of assumptions and stances that are hurting your current approach. Learn to enjoy the process more and just having fun being with girls/people.

Keep Mr. Orion’s words in mind
“Then, you are the man, it is your job to get laid, it is her job to get you into a relationship.”

Good words. Some people (especially those who have never challenged their assumptions on dating) will probably read this as “FUCK BITCHES!!!” but that’s not what it’s really about imo (if you don’t like my interpretation feel free to call it out Orion).

You’re there to present options. You’re the salesman. You can take the connection between you and her to one place, but she has work to do too if she wants to take that connection to another level. And the important note for Trivium is – if she WANTS to turn it into a relationship, she will try.

17

[quote]Sutebun wrote:
You’re inside your head too much and have a lot of bullshit internalized.

“I mean this sounds pathetic, but I have almost gotten to the point where I don’t even want to talk to women anymore.
I can’t talk to women in a lot of situations, because I know that I will be branded as a creep.”

Women love attention and like people to feel interested in them. Confidence and leading are important, but that doesn’t mean detaching yourself from the situation and not taking an interest in the other person. To simplify: if you are not genuinely excited by the interaction and to be talking to the girl, WHY should she be excited to talk to you??

You gotta erase that “I don’t even wanna talk to women” with the idea that “I want engaging, playful, and fun interactions with women”. Focus on enjoying the process to get the prize.

Besides going outside of social norms like in Orion’s post, the creep thing is probably because your eyes are on the prize and they can feel it. And since you are making some poor assumptions you may be obstructing yourself again. If you ASSUME it’s not the time nor place to approach the girl and that you are likely to be branded a creep, it is going to color your entire conversation.

"All I am going to say is, what gives?
Are women not in to guys like me? "

Short answer: No.
Long answer: women are not into liking someone because that person feels they have earned some kind of right to attraction. It is not a matter of meeting some minimum criteria and being owed something. Reading your post, it does feel that you seem to think you deserve attention.

You have to create attraction, arouse her, peak her interest.

my two cents TLDR: you are highly invested in yourself and have tons of interests but need to learn how to take more interest in people. Due to past interactions that went poorly. you are internalizing a lot of assumptions and stances that are hurting your current approach. Learn to enjoy the process more and just having fun being with girls/people.

Keep Mr. Orion’s words in mind
“Then, you are the man, it is your job to get laid, it is her job to get you into a relationship.”

Good words. Some people (especially those who have never challenged their assumptions on dating) will probably read this as “FUCK BITCHES!!!” but that’s not what it’s really about imo (if you don’t like my interpretation feel free to call it out Orion).

You’re there to present options. You’re the salesman. You can take the connection between you and her to one place, but she has work to do too if she wants to take that connection to another level. And the important note for Trivium is – if she WANTS to turn it into a relationship, she will try.

[/quote]

Well said.

I don’t think I deserve a relationship for just showing up, but I do think it would be nice to get a smile every now and again haha, or at least have someone express an interest in my ventures without me having to be a tool and go “I’m very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.”

I feel like too often guys run to act like the most interested guy that she has ever had chase her and then they end up looking like a total pushover.

I do also tend to be a bit of an introvert at times.

18

[quote]Sutebun wrote:

Good words. Some people (especially those who have never challenged their assumptions on dating) will probably read this as “FUCK BITCHES!!!” but that’s not what it’s really about imo (if you don’t like my interpretation feel free to call it out Orion).

[/quote]

Dude, I would like to fuck a non-bitch so much, its not even funny.

19

Completely relevant

20

Also: