[quote]goochadamg wrote:
zephead4747 wrote:
zephead4747 wrote:
DL:
290x5
310x5
325x7
Deadlift:
warmups
350x10 (PR +25 pounds, 3 reps)
assistance
GHR + 45’ hyper with bodyweight
could only get 5 reps on the GHR with bodyweight I was annihilated post-deadlifts.
Damn, kicking some ass here![/quote]
x2
When do you test your maxes?
[quote]BlackLabel wrote:
goochadamg wrote:
zephead4747 wrote:
zephead4747 wrote:
DL:
290x5
310x5
325x7
Deadlift:
warmups
350x10 (PR +25 pounds, 3 reps)
assistance
GHR + 45’ hyper with bodyweight
could only get 5 reps on the GHR with bodyweight I was annihilated post-deadlifts.
Damn, kicking some ass here!
x2
When do you test your maxes?
[/quote]
I’m thinking I’m going to around the end of summer. I just want to overtake my old 1 rep maxes and use them for rep PRs
Today:
Bench
warmup
205x5
lost my arch, pretty much did a crucifix-bench. It sucked.
CG inclines
warmups
135x11 (missed baseline by 1 rep)
155x4
will replace these with close grip 2 board press if I don’t progress next week either.
seated DB powercleans
25x15
35x15
DB bench
50 2x15
reppin da 365 pound pulls in an hour and a half.
I’m ready to tear shit up.
1
3
Today sucked.
Deadlift
I stupidly did all my warmups as speed deads. Really fucking dumb.
365x5 (PR -3 reps)
beltless, wider grip+stance then normal. I could of gotten at least 2-3 more but my back felt weird.
45’ back extention
3x12 bodyweight
glute ham
2x10 bodyweight
eliptical
10 minutes
[quote]zephead4747 wrote:
press:
105x5
120x3
145x3
[/quote]
Press:
warmup
140x7 PR +4 reps -5 pounds
I’m sorta happy with this.
Lat pulldowns: thumbless grip
warmups
180x6
168x8
Kroc row:
warmup
1x10 100
pretty easy probably go for 16 next week. deep stretch at the bottom of each rep
Preacher curl:
warmup
75 10x7x4 21RP
lat stretch on pulldown
I’m having a serious issue with a girl. My anxiety, depression has been really bad recently, I’m not sleeping. I will either be on T-Nation all the time for the next few days, or very seldomly. I don’t know yet. I need my weights, But I can’t lift again till monday. Where’s self destruction when you need it? Squatting always makes me feel better. Maybe I should do smolov? I’m tough enough. I’m a man.
I’m going to be in a shitty mood for a long time. I don’t know what to do with myself when I can’t lift. I get really fucking anxious and aggresive.
advice?
http://www.elitefts.com/documents/rtb_intro.htm
I just read the raising the bar into. It’s just what I needed. I’m going to let you all know a little bit more about me, because writing is seriously making me feel better.
This is neither a confession, or a cry for help.
Well maybe a little.
I'm 17. I haven't always been though. I was once a little kid. A little scrawny, uncoordinated kid. I always had something to prove, and if I couldn't I always tried to make excuses. In flag football, they called me "flag monster" because of how damn agressive my tiny little self was. I played nosetackle. Eventually I lost intrest in football. I wish I hadn't. I need another way to funnel my aggresion. I grew up a little bit differently then Dave. I always wanted to be one of my friends. He was funny, smart, and very good at makign friends and meeting girls. I was shy, nerdy, and over cocky. I grew resentful. He always used my best friend.
She was a wonderful person, and had some psychological issues which made her a very needy girl when it came to guys. She clang to what she wanted. Stability, with a clever, attractive exterior, and that was pursued by other girls. I dated a few very sweet, shy, churchgirls. I fell in love, twice. My heart got broken. Looking back, I wish I hadn’t fucked it all up. They were wonderful people and now not part of my life. I still think about it a lot. Throughout my childhood and early teen years I was seriously depressed. I left my group of friends coming into highschool. I didn’t really fit in. Their houses where bigger then mine. They had unwavering faith in god.
I just couldn’t see it. I really drew deeeper into myself in my eigth grade year. Towards the end of the year I fell in love with a close friend. She liked me too. She moved away a few months later. The girl who would never take a sip of beer, and wanted to kiss her first guy in highschool, was giving head to Juniors and seniors a month into her freshmen year. I’m not going to lie. I’ve wanted to die before, but not like I did when I heard about that.
I left those people behind, and started hanging out with a shadier crowd. These people where all similar to me. They had problems, they didn't feel perfect all the time, they had problems once in a while. I related to them, and they are still brothers (and sisters) to me. I found my love for weightlifting at the time. It made me feel so good I was doing a full body workout 5 days a week. Absolutely destroying myself, and god damnit, It felt amazing. The best high I've ever had. I take honors and college classes. I don't relate to those kids, They haven't seen gangs, violence, and losing friends from drugs the way I have, They haven't known my pain, my dissasociation. Not a single one. Most of my friends are going to graduate late, with a GED, or from Alternative highschool.
And they sure as hell aren’t going to college. They are hopeless, just like me. Even behind this well spoken, and outwardly confident suit of armor. I suffer from depression, anxiety, insolmnia, and sleep apnea. I’m a zombie every day during the school year from never sleeping, and getting out of bed at 5:30 every morning. It sucks, I hate every day of it. Pissing what life I have away, without the people I miss dearly. I miss friends who are now so fucked up we can’t sit by the lake and talk about life anymore. I miss them. They are almost empty people compared to as early as a few months ago. I’m almost alone again, but I still have places to go, and people to hang out with. What the fuck?
My life doesn't mesh together. Each section is totally different from the next. It's incredibly painful to think about all the good things I've left behind, likely forever, because of my rash decisions, and lifestyle choices. I never would have believed who I am now if you had told me 4 years ago. I've burned nearly every bridge in my life several times. I'm attached to my hometown, I can't imagine never seeing the shops,or abandoned bowling driving down North Avenue again. It's a terrifying thought. I'm almost a man.
Yet, I have seemingly nothing here, or anywhere. I recently fell for a girl with a really dirty, slutty past, Keep in mind I haven’t had an emotional connection with a woman in years now. I wanted to stay away from heartbreak from stupid highschool sluts. She told me she was much better now. She told me she really liked me, and that we were pretty much a couple. We were supposed to hang out tonight, she even visited me at work before we were supposed to hang out. She’s at her x-boyfriend’s house who treats her like the dramatic whore she is. He got her to put out, and cheated on her in the same day, then broke up with heer a few days later. She’s probably getting railed by him as I type this. I’m in pain right now.
Recently, even though I've cut down on the caffeine for several weeks now. I've been getting the shakes everyday, all day. I'm always anxious for something, but I don't know what. I'm really fucking depressed, I feel like life is pointless. Where do I want to go in life? What college am I going to, because "damn kid, you could go far". What the hell! I was like 12 years old a few seconds ago. Where did the worriless childhood go, sitting around the house reading hundreds upon hundreds of books, to escape from I what my childhood mind didn't realize was no sense of purpose? I lived vicariously through Dragonlance novels, and the Lost Years of Merlin books
I haven't had the feelings like I've had for this girl in years. I was ready to put all of the stuff that would make me flat out reject a girl a few months earlier behind me. Just because I thought I found this wonderful sweet woman. I thought I saw something special in her. Our first (and likely only) kiss was a few days ago. I grew attached to her really fast. Recently, I've been looking back and I'm seeing pieces of me, and the girls I've loved in that girl. But I didn't really know who she was. Just who I wanted her to be, and who she wanted me to think she was. I'm hankering, jonesing like a fucking heroin addict, for my one true love, my one friend, my one means of true self destruction to ease me into a painful coma of Euphoria. I need the most powerfully painful painkiller that I know. And I can't ease that fix until monday, squat day.
God, if you exist. Fucking help me. Monday can’t come sooner.
I’m leavin’ for the Wolf in a couple hours ; be back Tuesday (hopefully with a strong catfish stench…haha) , but not sure when I’ll be lifting on Tuesday . if I’m there around 4ish I’ll get you that belt and chalk . if not I’ll see ya later in the week. this is my week off , so lifting shares priority with other activities !
FISH ON !!!
[quote]zephead4747 wrote:
I’m having a serious issue with a girl. My anxiety, depression has been really bad recently, I’m not sleeping. I will either be on T-Nation all the time for the next few days, or very seldomly. I don’t know yet. I need my weights, But I can’t lift again till monday. Where’s self destruction when you need it? Squatting always makes me feel better. Maybe I should do smolov? I’m tough enough. I’m a man.
I’m going to be in a shitty mood for a long time. I don’t know what to do with myself when I can’t lift. I get really fucking anxious and aggresive.
advice?[/quote]
get off the internet and on a bicycle
[quote]marlboroman wrote:
I’m leavin’ for the Wolf in a couple hours ; be back Tuesday (hopefully with a strong catfish stench…haha) , but not sure when I’ll be lifting on Tuesday . if I’m there around 4ish I’ll get you that belt and chalk . if not I’ll see ya later in the week. this is my week off , so lifting shares priority with other activities !
FISH ON !!![/quote]
I’ve got another week or two before I’ll be able to go to the Y. Stupid whore ran my cell phone bill over 175$.
[quote]zephead4747 wrote:
http://www.elitefts.com/documents/rtb_intro.htm
I just read the raising the bar into. It’s just what I needed. I’m going to let you all know a little bit more about me, because writing is seriously making me feel better.
This is neither a confession, or a cry for help.
Well maybe a little.
I'm 17. I haven't always been though. I was once a little kid. A little scrawny, uncoordinated kid. I always had something to prove, and if I couldn't I always tried to make excuses. In flag football, they called me "flag monster" because of how damn agressive my tiny little self was. I played nosetackle. Eventually I lost intrest in football. I wish I hadn't. I need another way to funnel my aggresion. I grew up a little bit differently then Dave. I always wanted to be one of my friends. He was funny, smart, and very good at makign friends and meeting girls. I was shy, nerdy, and over cocky. I grew resentful. He always used my best friend.
She was a wonderful person, and had some psychological issues which made her a very needy girl when it came to guys. She clang to what she wanted. Stability, with a clever, attractive exterior, and that was pursued by other girls. I dated a few very sweet, shy, churchgirls. I fell in love, twice. My heart got broken. Looking back, I wish I hadn’t fucked it all up. They were wonderful people and now not part of my life. I still think about it a lot. Throughout my childhood and early teen years I was seriously depressed. I left my group of friends coming into highschool. I didn’t really fit in. Their houses where bigger then mine. They had unwavering faith in god.
I just couldn’t see it. I really drew deeeper into myself in my eigth grade year. Towards the end of the year I fell in love with a close friend. She liked me too. She moved away a few months later. The girl who would never take a sip of beer, and wanted to kiss her first guy in highschool, was giving head to Juniors and seniors a month into her freshmen year. I’m not going to lie. I’ve wanted to die before, but not like I did when I heard about that.
I left those people behind, and started hanging out with a shadier crowd. These people where all similar to me. They had problems, they didn't feel perfect all the time, they had problems once in a while. I related to them, and they are still brothers (and sisters) to me. I found my love for weightlifting at the time. It made me feel so good I was doing a full body workout 5 days a week. Absolutely destroying myself, and god damnit, It felt amazing. The best high I've ever had. I take honors and college classes. I don't relate to those kids, They haven't seen gangs, violence, and losing friends from drugs the way I have, They haven't known my pain, my dissasociation. Not a single one. Most of my friends are going to graduate late, with a GED, or from Alternative highschool.
And they sure as hell aren’t going to college. They are hopeless, just like me. Even behind this well spoken, and outwardly confident suit of armor. I suffer from depression, anxiety, insolmnia, and sleep apnea. I’m a zombie every day during the school year from never sleeping, and getting out of bed at 5:30 every morning. It sucks, I hate every day of it. Pissing what life I have away, without the people I miss dearly. I miss friends who are now so fucked up we can’t sit by the lake and talk about life anymore. I miss them. They are almost empty people compared to as early as a few months ago. I’m almost alone again, but I still have places to go, and people to hang out with. What the fuck?
My life doesn't mesh together. Each section is totally different from the next. It's incredibly painful to think about all the good things I've left behind, likely forever, because of my rash decisions, and lifestyle choices. I never would have believed who I am now if you had told me 4 years ago. I've burned nearly every bridge in my life several times. I'm attached to my hometown, I can't imagine never seeing the shops,or abandoned bowling driving down North Avenue again. It's a terrifying thought. I'm almost a man.
Yet, I have seemingly nothing here, or anywhere. I recently fell for a girl with a really dirty, slutty past, Keep in mind I haven’t had an emotional connection with a woman in years now. I wanted to stay away from heartbreak from stupid highschool sluts. She told me she was much better now. She told me she really liked me, and that we were pretty much a couple. We were supposed to hang out tonight, she even visited me at work before we were supposed to hang out. She’s at her x-boyfriend’s house who treats her like the dramatic whore she is. He got her to put out, and cheated on her in the same day, then broke up with heer a few days later. She’s probably getting railed by him as I type this. I’m in pain right now.
Recently, even though I've cut down on the caffeine for several weeks now. I've been getting the shakes everyday, all day. I'm always anxious for something, but I don't know what. I'm really fucking depressed, I feel like life is pointless. Where do I want to go in life? What college am I going to, because "damn kid, you could go far". What the hell! I was like 12 years old a few seconds ago. Where did the worriless childhood go, sitting around the house reading hundreds upon hundreds of books, to escape from I what my childhood mind didn't realize was no sense of purpose? I lived vicariously through Dragonlance novels, and the Lost Years of Merlin books
I haven't had the feelings like I've had for this girl in years. I was ready to put all of the stuff that would make me flat out reject a girl a few months earlier behind me. Just because I thought I found this wonderful sweet woman. I thought I saw something special in her. Our first (and likely only) kiss was a few days ago. I grew attached to her really fast. Recently, I've been looking back and I'm seeing pieces of me, and the girls I've loved in that girl. But I didn't really know who she was. Just who I wanted her to be, and who she wanted me to think she was. I'm hankering, jonesing like a fucking heroin addict, for my one true love, my one friend, my one means of true self destruction to ease me into a painful coma of Euphoria. I need the most powerfully painful painkiller that I know. And I can't ease that fix until monday, squat day.
God, if you exist. Fucking help me. Monday can’t come sooner.[/quote]
You talk about how you have burned so many bridges, that you have ruined so many things but I don’t understand what you’ve burned or what you’ve ruined. Can you elaborate? Maybe you haven’t ruined much of anything but have overwhelming feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and depression and it just FEELS like everything is ruined?
I had a very difficult time my senior year. I don’t pretend to know what you are dealing with, some of the issues are similar, some are very different. One thing I do know for certain is everything has an end. “This too shall pass.” To what extent acknowledging and recognizing this on a regular basis will help your mental/emotional state I have no idea. I mean, I’m sure you already realize the pain and suffering aren’t likely to last forever, but it probably feels as though they will be eternal (they won’t be).
Since you are smart and not adverse to reading (maybe you are adverse to summer reading though as I seem to be) I’ll recommend a couple of books.
If you are interested, read this first: No Ordinary Moments by Dan Millman. Then read Happiness Hypothesis by Jonathan Haidt. (If you are willing to read just a little let me know and I can tell you the most important chapters in the first two books.) After that you might consider reading Dan Millman’s Everyday Enlightenment. You may enjoy Dan Millman’s movie The Peaceful Warrior, I definitely did.
In the short-term (and long-term) I think it is important you find avenues to let out your aggression, nerves, etc. Maybe some sled pulling, sandbag training, shit like that. Maybe even a change of sport, a switch to strongman might be a better fit for you.
Until very recently I planned on going to graduate school to become a counselor. I feel a kinship with anyone who has suffered mentally and emotionally and wants something better. You have to believe, even when everything is at its worst that it will get better, it has to get better. All the negativity, all the hopelessness, it isn’t who you really are, it is your brain out of alignment. Some of those books may really change the way you see things and help you understand your suffering in a completely different light (which may very well be curative). I get the impression that you do not want to see some sort of professional. Which if that is the case I have my ideas what that might be. Just know that admitting that something is wrong is admirable and that slowly (or quickly) self-destructing when things get bad is just stupid.
Also, if you want to do a visit to UW-Madison this summer let me know and my wife and I could show you around and we could get a training session in.
If you want to PM me about anything feel free, but know that I am definitely in your corner and looking forward to you turning it all around. Whether it takes a week, a few months, or several years, but you WILL turn it around.
Matt
[quote]mrodock wrote:
A lot
Matt[/quote]
I plan on buying some new books after my phone bill is paid off. I actually read a lot, Hemmingway, Rand, a lot of books on philosophy, etc. Recently, I’ve been trying to start The Prince, but I just have been to anxious to sit down and read. I know exactly what you’re saying. I was at the highest point since middle school not so long ago, I was simply content. I just got thrown off my high horse. And I hit the ground hard. I’m ready to review my life again I guess. This perfect 10/10 I work with wants to hang out sometime this week, and another girl I had AP gov with wants to hang out again soon anyways. I threw all my eggs into one basket and got kicked in the nuts for it. I’m almost apathetic now. I feel like nothing ever happened. Probably a defence mechanism gone a little overboard. But I feel better then yesterday.
Strongman sounds fun, I’ll be looking into it after this winter.
I’ll write part II later this week, when I get my head straight.
I’m gonna try some Olifts or their variations today after squatting.
Today:
Squat:
bar 2x10
135x5
185x3
225x3
belt
275x3
wraps
325x4 (4RM PR +10 pounds)
Hang snatch
10 power
10 full squat from hang
just the bar
Clean
10x hang power
10x hang full
just bar
5x hang power
5x full from hang
95 pounds
Jerks:
10x 95 pounds
I’m much better at snatching that cleaning, form wise. I can’t catch it on my clavicles like I used to. I was catching on the meat of the delt.
Good morning
95x5
135x5
165x5
185x5
I’ll try to add 5-10 pounds to this a week depending on how I’m feeling
Hanging leg raises
3x15
Notes:
I’ve decided fuck the % warmups for 5/3/1. Only the work set % matters. I’m not going to hit less reps because a book told me to warm up differently.