[quote]jbpick86 wrote:
…if your kid is a deal breaker for a man then he probably wasn’t very much of a man(def not an Alpha) to begin with.[/quote]
Or, maybe he just doesn’t want kids.
A “beta” would hang around because he would feel he doesn’t have much (if any) options besides the relationship he’s in… even if he doesn’t particularly care for the little one.
Do people here genuinely feel that NOT wanting to be in a relationship with someone who has a child makes one unmanly?
[quote]theBeth wrote:
Well I guess I am not crazy.
I’m independent, non-clingy, non-bitchy, non-jealous. I work full time, take care of my own kid (full custody), and I’m going to nursing school - paying my own way. I don’t have time to think about crazy. When I get into a relationship I do way too much to take care of the other person.
So yeah, i’m pretty much fucked if I want an alpha i guess [/quote]
This whole premise of Alpha/Beta is crap. That’s just a bunch of bunk perception because like everything else, people have to set a pecking order in life to feel greater/lesser. True men will never call themselves an Alpha and will probably be perceived as Betas because they are too busy doing something valuable with their lives to discuss the topic or care.
If guys are going for the crazy, slutty girls, your perception that they are worth dating is wrong. They have issues somewhere in their lives. You just don’t see the baggage because you aren’t at that level of intimacy (mental/relational).
For the record, those girls great in the sack because they are wild are sluts, of course they learn what to do because they ride multiple rides multiple times. FYI, good girls can be great in bed too, and nothing beats being with someone who knows and understands you what you want, etc. I can’t see value in these shallow one nighters - guess I’m a beta. I’ll take and trade 100 one nighters for 1 nighter with my girl anytime.
Without getting a philosophical/spiritual about it, sex is meant to be the greatest form of physical intimacy between two partners. When you step away from the one nighters and actually experience that intimacy in an open, understanding, loving relationship, then you’ll look back and wonder what the hell you were doing all those single nights. And if you find the right girl (good luck) you can continue these experiences well into marriage and not have things “dry up.”
There are lots of good men and good women out there, both looking and searching for something real and honest. Fix yourself, then get out there and find it. Know who you are first and what you want, and don’t compromise until you find it. Compromising will bring you sadness, frustration, and emptiness as made example by the multiple threads on this topic.
Once you find it, hold on to it, and do everything you can to work together as a team and as partners/friends. Talk openly, honestly, put forth effort for each other and do your best to lift each other above the muck of the world. Stop dipping your sticks in the cess pool and start looking in the freshwater streams up the mountain that may have more resilient fish, but are quite the fight and catch when you land one.
[quote]anonym wrote:
[quote]jbpick86 wrote:
…if your kid is a deal breaker for a man then he probably wasn’t very much of a man(def not an Alpha) to begin with.[/quote]
Or, maybe he just doesn’t want kids.
A “beta” would hang around because he would feel he doesn’t have much (if any) options besides the relationship he’s in… even if he doesn’t particularly care for the little one.
Do people here genuinely feel that NOT wanting to be in a relationship with someone who has a child makes one unmanly?[/quote]
don’t give them any thought… just dogs hounding after the jezebel
Some fucking awesome posts in this thread.
[quote]anonym wrote:
[quote]jbpick86 wrote:
…if your kid is a deal breaker for a man then he probably wasn’t very much of a man(def not an Alpha) to begin with.[/quote]
Or, maybe he just doesn’t want kids.
A “beta” would hang around because he would feel he doesn’t have much (if any) options besides the relationship he’s in… even if he doesn’t particularly care for the little one.
Do people here genuinely feel that NOT wanting to be in a relationship with someone who has a child makes one unmanly?[/quote]
Nope. Nothing wrong with that.
As much as I hate discussing irrelevant alpha/beta nonsense, by most accepted definitions, an Alpha Male would not be expected to claim responsibility for a child anyways, so the argument that a man isn’t alpha unless he accepts a child is a little presumptuous.
An Alpha Male is most concerned with his own interests first and foremost, and will pursue them aggressively and at any cost. Why would the hypothetical alpha claim responsibility over a child when it is essentially just an obstacle preventing him from pursuing his own interests?
There is a difference between being a man and being an alpha. I think trying to label people as such is counter-productive and ultimately complicates an already complex situation. Most men are not strictly alphas/betas/omegas/whateverthefuck…they blend characteristics of every type. Once people realize this, they can stop using ridiculous terminology that rarely (if ever) applies to the human condition.
Also, Alpha/Beta crap is used a ton on bodybuilding.com… so if you guys want to stay away from that type of forum for us… it may behoove you to not try and use the cool kid lingo. 'nom sayin? I’m totally 'mirin people in this thread… …
[quote]theBeth wrote:
Are guys addicted to the rollercoaster ride these type of women provide? Does the passion of the extreme highs make you feel on top of the world and the extreme lows make you want to fight to stay together and get the highs back, leaving you blind to the character flaws that will never change? I see this all the time, good guys I might like to date can’t seem to let go of these crazy women who don’t have their lives together and aren’t all that great looking IMO.
Then I look back at me and wonder WTF i’m doing so wrong.[/quote]
Those women are artists at making people love them. They know how to get a guy they want, and they adapt their personality to fill the guy needs…
You quickly become addicted to something that makes you feel unique and invicible. And the lows ? This is pure manipulation, to keep people addicted.
My ex left when I started to get my shit straight and started to have some objective views about our life and things to do. She did not want me to work, to be far, and my life started to be badly impacted.
She left with a vengeance, using weaknesses I confessed to her to hurt me, quite badly I must say at the time.
I was not very confident with my choices / decisions at the time. She was like a confidence drug. After this relationship, I started to workout and wanted to be mentally and physically stronger. Because bigger means more confident…Difficult experience.
If you want the nice guys for good reasons, I m pretty sure you know how to go get them.
[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:
[quote]theBeth wrote:
Are guys addicted to the rollercoaster ride these type of women provide? Does the passion of the extreme highs make you feel on top of the world and the extreme lows make you want to fight to stay together and get the highs back, leaving you blind to the character flaws that will never change? I see this all the time, good guys I might like to date can’t seem to let go of these crazy women who don’t have their lives together and aren’t all that great looking IMO.
Then I look back at me and wonder WTF i’m doing so wrong.[/quote]
Honestly those type of women give me a headache just thinking about dating them. Life is stressful enough no need for a relationship to add that much up and down emotion [/quote]
Agreed. They just end up stressing you the fuck out and tanking your hormone levels and slowin down yo gainz.
[quote]Mr. Walkway wrote:
[quote]theBeth wrote:
[quote]StevenF wrote:
[quote]theBeth wrote:
[quote]StevenF wrote:
[quote]Mr. Walkway wrote:
[quote]theBeth wrote:
Are guys addicted to the rollercoaster ride these type of women provide? Does the passion of the extreme highs make you feel on top of the world and the extreme lows make you want to fight to stay together and get the highs back, leaving you blind to the character flaws that will never change? I see this all the time, good guys I might like to date can’t seem to let go of these crazy women who don’t have their lives together and aren’t all that great looking IMO.
Then I look back at me and wonder WTF i’m doing so wrong.[/quote]
[quote]theBeth wrote:
my own kid[/quote]
hope this helps[/quote]
what was your point?
[/quote]
That my kid is what keeps me from ending up with an Alpha Male.[/quote]
I disagree. If you are a quality woman(which I believe you are) then one will come along regardless. [/quote]
As much as I think Walkaway is a cowardly douche, I do think he’s right - at least in my experience. But then again as I look back, most of the guys who i considered alphas were simply assholes and low class material anyway.
I’ve had betas who embraced the whole kid thing, i just couldn’t deal with their lack of back bone, me having to be the strong one and leading the relationship. I want the man to be the man for chrissakes.[/quote]
im sorry that reality and your feelings conflict… im a straight shooter, and that’s not going to change in order to make you feel better[/quote]
What you say doesn’t impact my feelings in the least. It’s taken in the context of where it’s coming from. Occasionally, you have relevent points, even if it’s couched in a self-serving patriarchal misogyny. It’s refreshing that you’re not a disciple of “groupthink”.
This thread cracks me up. Namely some of the posters that still dont realize their opinions are not reality or facts, but their opinions which are usually rooted to some form of self serving bias to let them feel better about their failings with the opposite sex, or mask their own insecurities by insulting what they deep down want and wish they had, but dont to make it ok.
Beth, as for the kid thing, I dated a girl with a kid, I was about 2 years younger than her and very young myself at the time. I was, and still am very awkward around children. They make me unconfortable. Which made the situation no longer comfortable for me. Dating or not dating a girl with a child has nothing to do with ‘alpha’ or ‘beta’ or a degree of manliness.
In my opinion(see how that works people?) it has to do with personal preference desire to be around children. I would also assume that most men, like myself, who have never had a child, or a nephew/neice etc will not welcome the situation because we have no desire or comfort level to be around children. I can also say the same thing for cats and women who have them. Luckily for you there are billions of people in the world. Tons of options.
[quote]Waittz wrote:
In my opinion(see how that works people?) it has to do with personal preference desire to be around children. I would also assume that most men, like myself, who have never had a child, or a nephew/neice etc will not welcome the situation because we have no desire or comfort level to be around children. I can also say the same thing for cats and women who have them. Luckily for you there are billions of people in the world. Tons of options.
[/quote]
Yup tonz of options - for getting a piece of ass. And maybe its ok just to settle for that. I totally get that guys are uncomfy with kids, especially 6 year old girls.
[quote]theBeth wrote:
[quote]Waittz wrote:
In my opinion(see how that works people?) it has to do with personal preference desire to be around children. I would also assume that most men, like myself, who have never had a child, or a nephew/neice etc will not welcome the situation because we have no desire or comfort level to be around children. I can also say the same thing for cats and women who have them. Luckily for you there are billions of people in the world. Tons of options.
[/quote]
Yup tonz of options - for getting a piece of ass. And maybe its ok just to settle for that. I totally get that guys are uncomfy with kids, especially 6 year old girls. [/quote]
Pessimism has no place in someone’s mind if they are trying to find what you are looking for. You end up projecting it and thus push what you are looking for away. Kind of like how dogs can tell if you are nervous or scared of touching them.
Plent of men have children, have had children or want children. If you make the decision prior that you will never find one, you wont. Much like guys like Walkway claim in confidence that there are no good women out there, they are just making it a reality. No different than poor people saying ‘ill never be rich’. Of coarse not. Nobody who says that ever will.
[quote]Waittz wrote:
[quote]theBeth wrote:
[quote]Waittz wrote:
In my opinion(see how that works people?) it has to do with personal preference desire to be around children. I would also assume that most men, like myself, who have never had a child, or a nephew/neice etc will not welcome the situation because we have no desire or comfort level to be around children. I can also say the same thing for cats and women who have them. Luckily for you there are billions of people in the world. Tons of options.
[/quote]
Yup tonz of options - for getting a piece of ass. And maybe its ok just to settle for that. I totally get that guys are uncomfy with kids, especially 6 year old girls. [/quote]
Pessimism has no place in someone’s mind if they are trying to find what you are looking for. You end up projecting it and thus push what you are looking for away. Kind of like how dogs can tell if you are nervous or scared of touching them.
Plent of men have children, have had children or want children. If you make the decision prior that you will never find one, you wont. Much like guys like Walkway claim in confidence that there are no good women out there, they are just making it a reality. No different than poor people saying ‘ill never be rich’. Of coarse not. Nobody who says that ever will. [/quote]
This is true. I stand corrected. Thank you for insight.
[quote]Waittz wrote:
Much like guys like Walkway claim in confidence that there are no good women out there, they are just making it a reality. [/quote]
i don’t recall saying this… im starting to see why im vied as a misogynist
[quote]theBeth wrote:
[quote]Waittz wrote:
[quote]theBeth wrote:
[quote]Waittz wrote:
In my opinion(see how that works people?) it has to do with personal preference desire to be around children. I would also assume that most men, like myself, who have never had a child, or a nephew/neice etc will not welcome the situation because we have no desire or comfort level to be around children. I can also say the same thing for cats and women who have them. Luckily for you there are billions of people in the world. Tons of options.
[/quote]
Yup tonz of options - for getting a piece of ass. And maybe its ok just to settle for that. I totally get that guys are uncomfy with kids, especially 6 year old girls. [/quote]
Pessimism has no place in someone’s mind if they are trying to find what you are looking for. You end up projecting it and thus push what you are looking for away. Kind of like how dogs can tell if you are nervous or scared of touching them.
Plent of men have children, have had children or want children. If you make the decision prior that you will never find one, you wont. Much like guys like Walkway claim in confidence that there are no good women out there, they are just making it a reality. No different than poor people saying ‘ill never be rich’. Of coarse not. Nobody who says that ever will. [/quote]
This is true. I stand corrected. Thank you for insight.[/quote]
no problem. I used to be like that in the past. Was very misogynistic and went on a tear that I am still to this day not proud of. I thought all women were sluts and the like. Finally one day I admitted to myself that I was really just lonely and missed being in love with someone who loved me back in truth and casual encounters made the feeling worse not better. I made an active decision to change my thoughts about women and such. Even got a tattoo to permantly remind me of who I am inside and what I want. Wrote down on paper what I wanted out of a partner and what I was willing to change about myself to attract that kind of person.
Met my now fiance 1 month on the day from that. She lived in a different country, was on her last day of vacation. We fell in love the second we met, found away to stay together even though we lived in two different continents for almost 8 months. We will be married soon. Never been happier. Everything worth having in life is earned not given, same comes for finding a partner.
Also remember that ANY change in your thoughts and behavior will bring a change in results. Start small, but start.
EDIT- my fiance when I met her was a virgin, she is well educated, comes from a successful and wealthy family, was and is a gym rat(my training and diet partner most days) and enjoys the same things I do(fashion, reading, personsal development) and as I proved already with some pics, she is a drop dead gorgeous Brazillian. The point of this is to prove that you can litterally have whatever you want in a partner, but you have to work for it, and be worthy of it. I had to change alot to be able to land a girl like that. It all stated with my outlook on women.
[quote]Mr. Walkway wrote:
[quote]Waittz wrote:
Much like guys like Walkway claim in confidence that there are no good women out there, they are just making it a reality. [/quote]
i don’t recall saying this… im starting to see why im vied as a misogynist [/quote]
You have stated and alluded to the majority of women you have encountered being either sluts, std infested, willing to trick men into getting them pregnant or fall for ‘druggie loser asswholes’. One of the classications of misogyny is the denigration of women. This is why we view you as a misogynist.
[quote]Waittz wrote:
[quote]Mr. Walkway wrote:
[quote]Waittz wrote:
Much like guys like Walkway claim in confidence that there are no good women out there, they are just making it a reality. [/quote]
i don’t recall saying this… im starting to see why im vied as a misogynist [/quote]
You have stated and alluded to the majority of women you have encountered being either sluts, std infested, willing to trick men into getting them pregnant or fall for ‘druggie loser asswholes’. One of the classications of misogyny is the denigration of women. This is why we view you as a misogynist. [/quote]
i do remember saying those things yes… but no that “there are no good women out there”… huge difference
i do make generalizations based on what i have experienced… but doesn’t everyone do that?
[quote]anonym wrote:
[quote]jbpick86 wrote:
…if your kid is a deal breaker for a man then he probably wasn’t very much of a man(def not an Alpha) to begin with.[/quote]
Or, maybe he just doesn’t want kids.
A “beta” would hang around because he would feel he doesn’t have much (if any) options besides the relationship he’s in… even if he doesn’t particularly care for the little one.
Do people here genuinely feel that NOT wanting to be in a relationship with someone who has a child makes one unmanly?[/quote]
Yeah, I suppose that I did overstep right there as it is not nearly as black and white as that. I also dislike the Alpha/Beta tags, it just seems to be the easiest way to describe certain things around here so I adapted. After reading my own post, I don’t even necessarily agree with everything that I said and can come up with many other viable reasoning. I guess I rushed it.
EDIT: I tried to clarify my original post multiple times but it turned into a book so I gave up. Just ignore the original stuff.
Beth there are guys out there who will love you and love your kid because he is a part of you. You just have to find them.
[quote]Mr. Walkway wrote:
[quote]Waittz wrote:
[quote]Mr. Walkway wrote:
[quote]Waittz wrote:
Much like guys like Walkway claim in confidence that there are no good women out there, they are just making it a reality. [/quote]
i don’t recall saying this… im starting to see why im vied as a misogynist [/quote]
You have stated and alluded to the majority of women you have encountered being either sluts, std infested, willing to trick men into getting them pregnant or fall for ‘druggie loser asswholes’. One of the classications of misogyny is the denigration of women. This is why we view you as a misogynist. [/quote]
i do remember saying those things yes… but no that “there are no good women out there”… huge difference
i do make generalizations based on what i have experienced… but doesn’t everyone do that?[/quote]
Then I apologize for stating that. And no, not everyone. Lots of people yes, but mainly they are those who are uneducated on a subject and only have personal experiences to base their opinions on. This should be apparant to you as you encounter it with AAS discussions regularly.