You Versus Someone Better Looking For A Girl

Off Topic
101

[quote]batman730 wrote:

[quote]Gettnitdone wrote:
Part of the reason for me starting up this thread was because I thought many guys here have been in similar situations where they’ve had to compete for a girl’s affection. It would be interesting to hear some stories instead of pages of anecdotes (which have definitely helped me start changing my belief system).[/quote]

Alright, I’ll play.

My ex from when I was about your age was the girl ALL the guys wanted to get with. By “ALL the guys” I mean virtually every hetero male she came in contact with and by “wanted to get with” I don’t mean they’d hit it, I mean like obsessively pursued regardless of their age, “type” or relationship/marital status. I honestly don’t know what it was about this girl. In terms of raw looks she was an 8, 8.5 max. However she had this enormous thumping mojo that transformed her into this supermassive black hole of sex appeal from whose gravity well not even light could escape. It was a bit spooky in retrospect.

Anyway, when we met she was dating one guy and had the hook firmly set in at least 4 more in her immediate circle. I’ve referred to her in another thread as being at the centre of a star system of “beta orbiters”. Each of these guys had at least one thing over on me. One was better looking, one was more successful and better connected, one was better umm… endowed, and so on. Anyway, I just sort of sauntered up to her and started chatting and we ended up together for three heady, tumultuous years before the whole thing grenaded. During that time “competition” was non stop because she would just keep accumulating these guys everywhere she went and they were relentless. Girl was like crack.

I found I was most successful and least stressed during the periods where I was able to completely disregard the other dudes and focus on being the best, most confident effective and self actualized human being I could be. I don’t mean that I found ways to compare myself favourably with these guys or that I pumped myself up in my own mind. That just created anxiety. I mean when I was able to just disregard their existence as being in any way relevant to me and what I was trying to accomplish in life. I just did my thing and was into what I was into. It sounds cliche, but it’s magic, IME.

That’s part of the reason I busted your balls about it seeming like you’re a little too into Abercrombie dude. If you turn it into a competition with this guy in your mind, you’ve already lost IMO. You’ll create unnecessary tension and anxiety that will mess up your flow and reduce your enjoyment and your chances of success. If you do “win”, the anxiety will start again the second another contender takes the field, and there is ALWAYS another contender. It’s a lose/lose situation.

On the other hand, if you treat it as an exercise in taking risks and working toward getting over your shit with the possibility of a romantic entanglement with an attractive young lady as a pleasant potential side benefit, then you cannot lose in any meaningful way. This is of course easier said than done, but it’s the simplest thing in the world at the same time.

As a side note, if you truly do value this girl’s friendship (which is not the same as just liking her/thinking she’s cool IMO), I would advise against dating/sleeping with her. The likelihood that your friendship will survive is extremely low. However if you’re attracted to her and just happen to think that she might be a decent, worthwhile human being as well, I say have at it. Life is short and it’s already later than you think. [/quote]

Nice read. Reminded me some nice memories… Been there, done that.

Was unable to sustain the relationship more than 15 months or so. Impossible to be friend after that.

My only advice would be : keep cool, everytime. Think atom-bounding, not bed-pounding… (don’t know if this sound really english :smiley: )

102

[quote]batman730 wrote:

[quote]Gettnitdone wrote:
Part of the reason for me starting up this thread was because I thought many guys here have been in similar situations where they’ve had to compete for a girl’s affection. It would be interesting to hear some stories instead of pages of anecdotes (which have definitely helped me start changing my belief system).[/quote]

Alright, I’ll play.

My ex from when I was about your age was the girl ALL the guys wanted to get with. By “ALL the guys” I mean virtually every hetero male she came in contact with and by “wanted to get with” I don’t mean they’d hit it, I mean like obsessively pursued regardless of their age, “type” or relationship/marital status. I honestly don’t know what it was about this girl. In terms of raw looks she was an 8, 8.5 max. However she had this enormous thumping mojo that transformed her into this supermassive black hole of sex appeal from whose gravity well not even light could escape. It was a bit spooky in retrospect.

Anyway, when we met she was dating one guy and had the hook firmly set in at least 4 more in her immediate circle. I’ve referred to her in another thread as being at the centre of a star system of “beta orbiters”. Each of these guys had at least one thing over on me. One was better looking, one was more successful and better connected, one was better umm… endowed, and so on. Anyway, I just sort of sauntered up to her and started chatting and we ended up together for three heady, tumultuous years before the whole thing grenaded. During that time “competition” was non stop because she would just keep accumulating these guys everywhere she went and they were relentless. Girl was like crack.

I found I was most successful and least stressed during the periods where I was able to completely disregard the other dudes and focus on being the best, most confident effective and self actualized human being I could be. I don’t mean that I found ways to compare myself favourably with these guys or that I pumped myself up in my own mind. That just created anxiety. I mean when I was able to just disregard their existence as being in any way relevant to me and what I was trying to accomplish in life. I just did my thing and was into what I was into. It sounds cliche, but it’s magic, IME.

That’s part of the reason I busted your balls about it seeming like you’re a little too into Abercrombie dude. If you turn it into a competition with this guy in your mind, you’ve already lost IMO. You’ll create unnecessary tension and anxiety that will mess up your flow and reduce your enjoyment and your chances of success. If you do “win”, the anxiety will start again the second another contender takes the field, and there is ALWAYS another contender. It’s a lose/lose situation.

On the other hand, if you treat it as an exercise in taking risks and working toward getting over your shit with the possibility of a romantic entanglement with an attractive young lady as a pleasant potential side benefit, then you cannot lose in any meaningful way. This is of course easier said than done, but it’s the simplest thing in the world at the same time.

As a side note, if you truly do value this girl’s friendship (which is not the same as just liking her/thinking she’s cool IMO), I would advise against dating/sleeping with her. The likelihood that your friendship will survive is extremely low. However if you’re attracted to her and just happen to think that she might be a decent, worthwhile human being as well, I say have at it. Life is short and it’s already later than you think. [/quote]

Do you think that the mojo of this chick came from what you just described - disregard of everyone else, just did her own thing?

103

[quote]Gettnitdone wrote:

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]batman730 wrote:

[quote]Gettnitdone wrote:
Part of the reason for me starting up this thread was because I thought many guys here have been in similar situations where they’ve had to compete for a girl’s affection. It would be interesting to hear some stories instead of pages of anecdotes (which have definitely helped me start changing my belief system).[/quote]

Alright, I’ll play.

My ex from when I was about your age was the girl ALL the guys wanted to get with. By “ALL the guys” I mean virtually every hetero male she came in contact with and by “wanted to get with” I don’t mean they’d hit it, I mean like obsessively pursued regardless of their age, “type” or relationship/marital status. I honestly don’t know what it was about this girl. In terms of raw looks she was an 8, 8.5 max. However she had this enormous thumping mojo that transformed her into this supermassive black hole of sex appeal from whose gravity well not even light could escape. It was a bit spooky in retrospect.

Anyway, when we met she was dating one guy and had the hook firmly set in at least 4 more in her immediate circle. I’ve referred to her in another thread as being at the centre of a star system of “beta orbiters”. Each of these guys had at least one thing over on me. One was better looking, one was more successful and better connected, one was better umm… endowed, and so on. Anyway, I just sort of sauntered up to her and started chatting and we ended up together for three heady, tumultuous years before the whole thing grenaded. During that time “competition” was non stop because she would just keep accumulating these guys everywhere she went and they were relentless. Girl was like crack.

I found I was most successful and least stressed during the periods where I was able to completely disregard the other dudes and focus on being the best, most confident effective and self actualized human being I could be. I don’t mean that I found ways to compare myself favourably with these guys or that I pumped myself up in my own mind. That just created anxiety. I mean when I was able to just disregard their existence as being in any way relevant to me and what I was trying to accomplish in life. I just did my thing and was into what I was into. It sounds cliche, but it’s magic, IME.

That’s part of the reason I busted your balls about it seeming like you’re a little too into Abercrombie dude. If you turn it into a competition with this guy in your mind, you’ve already lost IMO. You’ll create unnecessary tension and anxiety that will mess up your flow and reduce your enjoyment and your chances of success. If you do “win”, the anxiety will start again the second another contender takes the field, and there is ALWAYS another contender. It’s a lose/lose situation.

On the other hand, if you treat it as an exercise in taking risks and working toward getting over your shit with the possibility of a romantic entanglement with an attractive young lady as a pleasant potential side benefit, then you cannot lose in any meaningful way. This is of course easier said than done, but it’s the simplest thing in the world at the same time.

As a side note, if you truly do value this girl’s friendship (which is not the same as just liking her/thinking she’s cool IMO), I would advise against dating/sleeping with her. The likelihood that your friendship will survive is extremely low. However if you’re attracted to her and just happen to think that she might be a decent, worthwhile human being as well, I say have at it. Life is short and it’s already later than you think. [/quote]

Always enjoy your contributions.[/quote]

Seconded.

That was precisely the type of post I was hoping would pop up here. I’m going to take your advice to heart, thanks man.
[/quote]

Chushin, as always, appreciated coming from you.

Gettnitdone, If you can benefit at all from my experiences, I’m happy to hear it.

104

[quote]theBeth wrote:

[quote]batman730 wrote:

[quote]Gettnitdone wrote:
Part of the reason for me starting up this thread was because I thought many guys here have been in similar situations where they’ve had to compete for a girl’s affection. It would be interesting to hear some stories instead of pages of anecdotes (which have definitely helped me start changing my belief system).[/quote]

Alright, I’ll play.

[/quote]

Do you think that the mojo of this chick came from what you just described - disregard of everyone else, just did her own thing? [/quote]

Well, maybe in part. Like I said, it’s hard to define what made it work for her. She could definitely be extremely self-involved when wanted something and she certainly tended to get what she wanted, regardless of how it affected those around her. This caused her to expect to get what she wanted with such a sense of certainty that people (even those who weren’t attracted to her sexually) tended feel inclined to oblige, even at their own expense.

That said, I think a huge part of her appeal actually stemmed from the opposite end of the spectrum, in a way. She would talk to everyone in such a way as to make you feel like you’re the only guy, or at least the most fascinating guy, in the world. I mean, she would just take this immediate, intense personal interest in almost every guy she met. She was pretty much indiscriminate about this. It made dudes feel like they were 10 feet tall. They wanted to be around her, craved it, because of how she made them feel about themselves. All this attention gave her an ever increasing sense of confidence and personal power that further enhanced her ability to attract dudes. Few girls her age could match her in this regard, but this power was tempered with the impression of profound openness and a certain vulnerability. It was a pretty strong brew.

At the same time she infused everything she did with a heavy dose of frankness, hedonism, overt flirtation and an implied sense of sexual availability without usually seeming slutty somehow. She could drink and curse and hang like one of the guys. Actually, she could be more like one of the guys than a lot of the guys. Her dad was a steel worker and a moonshiner and she had assimilated a certain blue collar, devil may care masculinity and tomboyishness. She also projected a certain gypsy wildness of spirit and an aching little girl-esque innocence. As a package, it really worked for her.

She was also damaged, manipulative, self destructive, unreliable and not at all to be trusted. Of course, that was easy to overlook, until it was too late. Dating her was like a rodeo ride that lasted 3 years (in my case) instead of 8 seconds. At the end you were dusty, bloodied, battered, bruised and lying dazed in the mud and the blood and the bullshit. And most guys couldn’t wait to get back on. They’d would follow her around for years after (she’s big on remaining “friends”) hoping for another shot.

The whole thing was quite an experience, but not one I’d repeat and certainly not a style I’d want any girl I cared about to model.

105

Don’t put her on a pedestal, it’s one of the most common mistakes guys make (myself included).

Attractive women get plenty of attention from other men, so don’t be another number and fall into that trap.

Not saying you need to be a full blown dick to her, but make her earn your attention.

106

[quote]batman730 wrote:

[quote]theBeth wrote:

[quote]batman730 wrote:

[quote]Gettnitdone wrote:
Part of the reason for me starting up this thread was because I thought many guys here have been in similar situations where they’ve had to compete for a girl’s affection. It would be interesting to hear some stories instead of pages of anecdotes (which have definitely helped me start changing my belief system).[/quote]

Alright, I’ll play.

[/quote]

Do you think that the mojo of this chick came from what you just described - disregard of everyone else, just did her own thing? [/quote]

Well, maybe in part. Like I said, it’s hard to define what made it work for her. She could definitely be extremely self-involved when wanted something and she certainly tended to get what she wanted, regardless of how it affected those around her. This caused her to expect to get what she wanted with such a sense of certainty that people (even those who weren’t attracted to her sexually) tended feel inclined to oblige, even at their own expense.

That said, I think a huge part of her appeal actually stemmed from the opposite end of the spectrum, in a way. She would talk to everyone in such a way as to make you feel like you’re the only guy, or at least the most fascinating guy, in the world. I mean, she would just take this immediate, intense personal interest in almost every guy she met. She was pretty much indiscriminate about this. It made dudes feel like they were 10 feet tall. They wanted to be around her, craved it, because of how she made them feel about themselves. All this attention gave her an ever increasing sense of confidence and personal power that further enhanced her ability to attract dudes. Few girls her age could match her in this regard, but this power was tempered with the impression of profound openness and a certain vulnerability. It was a pretty strong brew.

At the same time she infused everything she did with a heavy dose of frankness, hedonism, overt flirtation and an implied sense of sexual availability without usually seeming slutty somehow. She could drink and curse and hang like one of the guys. Actually, she could be more like one of the guys than a lot of the guys. Her dad was a steel worker and a moonshiner and she had assimilated a certain blue collar, devil may care masculinity and tomboyishness. She also projected a certain gypsy wildness of spirit and an aching little girl-esque innocence. As a package, it really worked for her.

She was also damaged, manipulative, self destructive, unreliable and not at all to be trusted. Of course, that was easy to overlook, until it was too late. Dating her was like a rodeo ride that lasted 3 years (in my case) instead of 8 seconds. At the end you were dusty, bloodied, battered, bruised and lying dazed in the mud and the blood and the bullshit. And most guys couldn’t wait to get back on. They’d would follow her around for years after (she’s big on remaining “friends”) hoping for another shot.

The whole thing was quite an experience, but not one I’d repeat and certainly not a style I’d want any girl I cared about to model.[/quote]

You need a book deal!

107

I cannot believe we got to page 5 before someone dptpoap AND when will you effers stop replying to these threads UNTIL the OP posts a picture…ai yi yi…this place has truly gone to hell.

108

[quote]batman730 wrote:

At the same time she infused everything she did with a heavy dose of frankness, hedonism, overt flirtation and an implied sense of sexual availability without usually seeming slutty somehow. She could drink and curse and hang like one of the guys. Actually, she could be more like one of the guys than a lot of the guys. Her dad was a steel worker and a moonshiner and she had assimilated a certain blue collar, devil may care masculinity and tomboyishness. She also projected a certain gypsy wildness of spirit and an aching little girl-esque innocence. As a package, it really worked for her.

She was also damaged, manipulative, self destructive, unreliable and not at all to be trusted. Of course, that was easy to overlook, until it was too late. Dating her was like a rodeo ride that lasted 3 years (in my case) instead of 8 seconds. At the end you were dusty, bloodied, battered, bruised and lying dazed in the mud and the blood and the bullshit. And most guys couldn’t wait to get back on. They’d would follow her around for years after (she’s big on remaining “friends”) hoping for another shot.
[/quote]

I knew a woman almost exactly like this but for some minor details. In fact, I was about to ask if you were my old lifting partner.

The only thing different between you and him/her is the time frame of the relationship.

109

[quote]sen say wrote:
I cannot believe we got to page 5 before someone dptpoap AND when will you effers stop replying to these threads UNTIL the OP posts a picture…ai yi yi…this place has truly gone to hell.[/quote]

Are your stored JPEGs getting old? ^^

110

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:

[quote]batman730 wrote:

At the same time she infused everything she did with a heavy dose of frankness, hedonism, overt flirtation and an implied sense of sexual availability without usually seeming slutty somehow. She could drink and curse and hang like one of the guys. Actually, she could be more like one of the guys than a lot of the guys. Her dad was a steel worker and a moonshiner and she had assimilated a certain blue collar, devil may care masculinity and tomboyishness. She also projected a certain gypsy wildness of spirit and an aching little girl-esque innocence. As a package, it really worked for her.

She was also damaged, manipulative, self destructive, unreliable and not at all to be trusted. Of course, that was easy to overlook, until it was too late. Dating her was like a rodeo ride that lasted 3 years (in my case) instead of 8 seconds. At the end you were dusty, bloodied, battered, bruised and lying dazed in the mud and the blood and the bullshit. And most guys couldn’t wait to get back on. They’d would follow her around for years after (she’s big on remaining “friends”) hoping for another shot.
[/quote]

I knew a woman almost exactly like this but for some minor details. In fact, I was about to ask if you were my old lifting partner.

The only thing different between you and him/her is the time frame of the relationship.
[/quote]

Yea, she’s not exactly common, but she is a very definite, recognizable “type”. Come to think of it, I’m pretty sure I dated essentially the 16 year old version of her a couple years previous. Guess I didn’t learn my lesson after all. Of course, in all fairness the first time around it was more like 8 seconds (well, 2 weeks but close enough).

112

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]batman730 wrote:

[quote]theBeth wrote:

[quote]batman730 wrote:

[quote]Gettnitdone wrote:
Part of the reason for me starting up this thread was because I thought many guys here have been in similar situations where they’ve had to compete for a girl’s affection. It would be interesting to hear some stories instead of pages of anecdotes (which have definitely helped me start changing my belief system).[/quote]

Alright, I’ll play.

[/quote]

Do you think that the mojo of this chick came from what you just described - disregard of everyone else, just did her own thing? [/quote]

Well, maybe in part. Like I said, it’s hard to define what made it work for her. She could definitely be extremely self-involved when wanted something and she certainly tended to get what she wanted, regardless of how it affected those around her. This caused her to expect to get what she wanted with such a sense of certainty that people (even those who weren’t attracted to her sexually) tended feel inclined to oblige, even at their own expense.

That said, I think a huge part of her appeal actually stemmed from the opposite end of the spectrum, in a way. She would talk to everyone in such a way as to make you feel like you’re the only guy, or at least the most fascinating guy, in the world. I mean, she would just take this immediate, intense personal interest in almost every guy she met. She was pretty much indiscriminate about this. It made dudes feel like they were 10 feet tall. They wanted to be around her, craved it, because of how she made them feel about themselves. All this attention gave her an ever increasing sense of confidence and personal power that further enhanced her ability to attract dudes. Few girls her age could match her in this regard, but this power was tempered with the impression of profound openness and a certain vulnerability. It was a pretty strong brew.

At the same time she infused everything she did with a heavy dose of frankness, hedonism, overt flirtation and an implied sense of sexual availability without usually seeming slutty somehow. She could drink and curse and hang like one of the guys. Actually, she could be more like one of the guys than a lot of the guys. Her dad was a steel worker and a moonshiner and she had assimilated a certain blue collar, devil may care masculinity and tomboyishness. She also projected a certain gypsy wildness of spirit and an aching little girl-esque innocence. As a package, it really worked for her.

She was also damaged, manipulative, self destructive, unreliable and not at all to be trusted. Of course, that was easy to overlook, until it was too late. Dating her was like a rodeo ride that lasted 3 years (in my case) instead of 8 seconds. At the end you were dusty, bloodied, battered, bruised and lying dazed in the mud and the blood and the bullshit. And most guys couldn’t wait to get back on. They’d would follow her around for years after (she’s big on remaining “friends”) hoping for another shot.

The whole thing was quite an experience, but not one I’d repeat and certainly not a style I’d want any girl I cared about to model.[/quote]

That was an extremely descriptive and insightful set of observations.[/quote]

x2 Really interesting stuff. Encountering women like that can be quite an education.

113

I had a relationship with a girl exactly like that… I can relate so much…

To the external world, she was like the perfect woman. Interested in everything, never speaking of herself, always getting what she wants, making people feel like they were exceptional.

In the private world, the relationship was sometimes exceptional, like making me feel I was on the top of the world, and often pretty awful. She was self destructive, having anorexia crisis, self-hatred, manipulative, and with a huge tendancy to hide the truth or to lie, having anxiety attacks then denying them (even if I was at her care). One day I discovered a huge part of her life that she was hiding to me. There was no reason why, it was explaining a lot of her behavior and personality. When I tried to talk about it, I experienced hate, the true hate, from her. She was in full denial, anger, and violence.

Ended up after 18 months feeling like she stole my soul. Became paranoid for months after that, she came back to better go away, sometimes hating me, sometimes still loving. I had to seek help to recover and not wanting to seek her friendship or love or at least to help her.

I will never date this kind of girl again, or try to be like her.

114

Lol at people ripping on Porsches for M3’s. Porsche has for the longest time been the comparison point for an all around great exotic car, ie its the “standard.” My friend drives one in his late 40’s, isn’t all wrinkly and is a former professional racer turned engineer. He drives it because of its handling and ability.

M3’s and BMW’s have the bad reputation in actual car enthusiast circles. It’s the businessman wannabe’s that think it makes their dick bigger to drive that car and get their jollies off tailgating on highways with their 300 hp car. Lacks finesse and most who own one, don’t know how to drive it.

As for relationship advice, perhaps your problem is trying to “get” with this girl. WTF does that mean? Do you want some ass from her, do you want someone to hold hands with and do things with but nothing long term, or do you actually legitimately want to settle down and raise a family, whatever?

Chances if she seems interested in the other guy, he’s probably already been there and done that. If you take the plunge the friendship will never be the same, make your choice. If you truly like her and its meant to be, it’ll happen, if you try to hard or go out of your way, you inevitably won’t benefit long term.

Also, nut up. Dudes an inch or two taller and “chiseled.” Big deal. It takes more than a body and face to score a girl that’s worthwhile - but again that goes back to what your intent/interest is. Is she a shallow girl, or actually worth something? Shit isn’t science.

And, yay pussy, how I miss it!! 2 months til I’m home!

115

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]batman730 wrote:

[quote]theBeth wrote:

[quote]batman730 wrote:

[quote]Gettnitdone wrote:
Part of the reason for me starting up this thread was because I thought many guys here have been in similar situations where they’ve had to compete for a girl’s affection. It would be interesting to hear some stories instead of pages of anecdotes (which have definitely helped me start changing my belief system).[/quote]

Alright, I’ll play.

[/quote]

Do you think that the mojo of this chick came from what you just described - disregard of everyone else, just did her own thing? [/quote]

Well, maybe in part. Like I said, it’s hard to define what made it work for her. She could definitely be extremely self-involved when wanted something and she certainly tended to get what she wanted, regardless of how it affected those around her. This caused her to expect to get what she wanted with such a sense of certainty that people (even those who weren’t attracted to her sexually) tended feel inclined to oblige, even at their own expense.

That said, I think a huge part of her appeal actually stemmed from the opposite end of the spectrum, in a way. She would talk to everyone in such a way as to make you feel like you’re the only guy, or at least the most fascinating guy, in the world. I mean, she would just take this immediate, intense personal interest in almost every guy she met. She was pretty much indiscriminate about this. It made dudes feel like they were 10 feet tall. They wanted to be around her, craved it, because of how she made them feel about themselves. All this attention gave her an ever increasing sense of confidence and personal power that further enhanced her ability to attract dudes. Few girls her age could match her in this regard, but this power was tempered with the impression of profound openness and a certain vulnerability. It was a pretty strong brew.

At the same time she infused everything she did with a heavy dose of frankness, hedonism, overt flirtation and an implied sense of sexual availability without usually seeming slutty somehow. She could drink and curse and hang like one of the guys. Actually, she could be more like one of the guys than a lot of the guys. Her dad was a steel worker and a moonshiner and she had assimilated a certain blue collar, devil may care masculinity and tomboyishness. She also projected a certain gypsy wildness of spirit and an aching little girl-esque innocence. As a package, it really worked for her.

She was also damaged, manipulative, self destructive, unreliable and not at all to be trusted. Of course, that was easy to overlook, until it was too late. Dating her was like a rodeo ride that lasted 3 years (in my case) instead of 8 seconds. At the end you were dusty, bloodied, battered, bruised and lying dazed in the mud and the blood and the bullshit. And most guys couldn’t wait to get back on. They’d would follow her around for years after (she’s big on remaining “friends”) hoping for another shot.

The whole thing was quite an experience, but not one I’d repeat and certainly not a style I’d want any girl I cared about to model.[/quote]

You should consider working in the counseling field.

That was an extremely descriptive and insightful set of observations; better than a lot of professional write-ups I’ve seen.[/quote]

As always Chushin, you’re too kind.

Counselling you say? Well, helping people is a hot button for me and there was a time when that would definitely have been in the running. These past few years I’ve been pretty focused getting into policing, which is pretty hard to do where I live.

Of course, these days policing is seems to be increasingly oriented toward counselling and social work than it is towards law enforcement in sense of hunting down bad guys so maybe I’ll end up getting into counselling without meaning to…

@ MytchBucanan, I think a book deal’s out of the question. I’m doing exceptionally well to scratch out a couple of halfway cogent paragraphs without hurting my brain too much.

@ RampantBadger, Yep, it surely was instructive.

@ RootX, These girls/women are out there and dating one once should be enough for any sane guy IMO, but some guys just can’t stop. Like I said, kinda like crack. Be glad you learned your lesson even if you had to pay a price.

(Sorry for the batched reply)

116

[quote]batman730 wrote:

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]batman730 wrote:

[quote]theBeth wrote:

[quote]batman730 wrote:

[quote]Gettnitdone wrote:
Part of the reason for me starting up this thread was because I thought many guys here have been in similar situations where they’ve had to compete for a girl’s affection. It would be interesting to hear some stories instead of pages of anecdotes (which have definitely helped me start changing my belief system).[/quote]

Alright, I’ll play.

[/quote]

Do you think that the mojo of this chick came from what you just described - disregard of everyone else, just did her own thing? [/quote]

Well, maybe in part. Like I said, it’s hard to define what made it work for her. She could definitely be extremely self-involved when wanted something and she certainly tended to get what she wanted, regardless of how it affected those around her. This caused her to expect to get what she wanted with such a sense of certainty that people (even those who weren’t attracted to her sexually) tended feel inclined to oblige, even at their own expense.

That said, I think a huge part of her appeal actually stemmed from the opposite end of the spectrum, in a way. She would talk to everyone in such a way as to make you feel like you’re the only guy, or at least the most fascinating guy, in the world. I mean, she would just take this immediate, intense personal interest in almost every guy she met. She was pretty much indiscriminate about this. It made dudes feel like they were 10 feet tall. They wanted to be around her, craved it, because of how she made them feel about themselves. All this attention gave her an ever increasing sense of confidence and personal power that further enhanced her ability to attract dudes. Few girls her age could match her in this regard, but this power was tempered with the impression of profound openness and a certain vulnerability. It was a pretty strong brew.

At the same time she infused everything she did with a heavy dose of frankness, hedonism, overt flirtation and an implied sense of sexual availability without usually seeming slutty somehow. She could drink and curse and hang like one of the guys. Actually, she could be more like one of the guys than a lot of the guys. Her dad was a steel worker and a moonshiner and she had assimilated a certain blue collar, devil may care masculinity and tomboyishness. She also projected a certain gypsy wildness of spirit and an aching little girl-esque innocence. As a package, it really worked for her.

She was also damaged, manipulative, self destructive, unreliable and not at all to be trusted. Of course, that was easy to overlook, until it was too late. Dating her was like a rodeo ride that lasted 3 years (in my case) instead of 8 seconds. At the end you were dusty, bloodied, battered, bruised and lying dazed in the mud and the blood and the bullshit. And most guys couldn’t wait to get back on. They’d would follow her around for years after (she’s big on remaining “friends”) hoping for another shot.

The whole thing was quite an experience, but not one I’d repeat and certainly not a style I’d want any girl I cared about to model.[/quote]

You should consider working in the counseling field.

That was an extremely descriptive and insightful set of observations; better than a lot of professional write-ups I’ve seen.[/quote]

As always Chushin, you’re too kind.

Counselling you say? Well, helping people is a hot button for me and there was a time when that would definitely have been in the running. These past few years I’ve been pretty focused getting into policing, which is pretty hard to do where I live.

Of course, these days policing is seems to be increasingly oriented toward counselling and social work than it is towards law enforcement in sense of hunting down bad guys so maybe I’ll end up getting into counselling without meaning to…

@ MytchBucanan, I think a book deal’s out of the question. I’m doing exceptionally well to scratch out a couple of halfway cogent paragraphs without hurting my brain too much.

@ RampantBadger, Yep, it surely was instructive.

@ RootX, These girls/women are out there and dating one once should be enough for any sane guy IMO, but some guys just can’t stop. Like I said, kinda like crack. Be glad you learned your lesson even if you had to pay a price.

(Sorry for the batched reply)[/quote]
You’re one cool guy

117

[quote]spar4tee wrote:

[quote]batman730 wrote:

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]batman730 wrote:

[quote]theBeth wrote:

[quote]batman730 wrote:

[quote]Gettnitdone wrote:
Part of the reason for me starting up this thread was because I thought many guys here have been in similar situations where they’ve had to compete for a girl’s affection. It would be interesting to hear some stories instead of pages of anecdotes (which have definitely helped me start changing my belief system).[/quote]

Alright, I’ll play.

[/quote]

Do you think that the mojo of this chick came from what you just described - disregard of everyone else, just did her own thing? [/quote]

Well, maybe in part. Like I said, it’s hard to define what made it work for her. She could definitely be extremely self-involved when wanted something and she certainly tended to get what she wanted, regardless of how it affected those around her. This caused her to expect to get what she wanted with such a sense of certainty that people (even those who weren’t attracted to her sexually) tended feel inclined to oblige, even at their own expense.

That said, I think a huge part of her appeal actually stemmed from the opposite end of the spectrum, in a way. She would talk to everyone in such a way as to make you feel like you’re the only guy, or at least the most fascinating guy, in the world. I mean, she would just take this immediate, intense personal interest in almost every guy she met. She was pretty much indiscriminate about this. It made dudes feel like they were 10 feet tall. They wanted to be around her, craved it, because of how she made them feel about themselves. All this attention gave her an ever increasing sense of confidence and personal power that further enhanced her ability to attract dudes. Few girls her age could match her in this regard, but this power was tempered with the impression of profound openness and a certain vulnerability. It was a pretty strong brew.

At the same time she infused everything she did with a heavy dose of frankness, hedonism, overt flirtation and an implied sense of sexual availability without usually seeming slutty somehow. She could drink and curse and hang like one of the guys. Actually, she could be more like one of the guys than a lot of the guys. Her dad was a steel worker and a moonshiner and she had assimilated a certain blue collar, devil may care masculinity and tomboyishness. She also projected a certain gypsy wildness of spirit and an aching little girl-esque innocence. As a package, it really worked for her.

She was also damaged, manipulative, self destructive, unreliable and not at all to be trusted. Of course, that was easy to overlook, until it was too late. Dating her was like a rodeo ride that lasted 3 years (in my case) instead of 8 seconds. At the end you were dusty, bloodied, battered, bruised and lying dazed in the mud and the blood and the bullshit. And most guys couldn’t wait to get back on. They’d would follow her around for years after (she’s big on remaining “friends”) hoping for another shot.

The whole thing was quite an experience, but not one I’d repeat and certainly not a style I’d want any girl I cared about to model.[/quote]

You should consider working in the counseling field.

That was an extremely descriptive and insightful set of observations; better than a lot of professional write-ups I’ve seen.[/quote]

As always Chushin, you’re too kind.

Counselling you say? Well, helping people is a hot button for me and there was a time when that would definitely have been in the running. These past few years I’ve been pretty focused getting into policing, which is pretty hard to do where I live.

Of course, these days policing is seems to be increasingly oriented toward counselling and social work than it is towards law enforcement in sense of hunting down bad guys so maybe I’ll end up getting into counselling without meaning to…

@ MytchBucanan, I think a book deal’s out of the question. I’m doing exceptionally well to scratch out a couple of halfway cogent paragraphs without hurting my brain too much.

@ RampantBadger, Yep, it surely was instructive.

@ RootX, These girls/women are out there and dating one once should be enough for any sane guy IMO, but some guys just can’t stop. Like I said, kinda like crack. Be glad you learned your lesson even if you had to pay a price.

(Sorry for the batched reply)[/quote]
You’re one cool guy[/quote]

Agreed, your an interesting person that’s for sure. Enjoyed reading those stories and written in a way that is very relate able to a wide audience of people.

118

If you’re going to buy a Porsche (which i cant suggest highly enough, they kick fucking ass to drive) buy an air-cooled model.

119

Are guys addicted to the rollercoaster ride these type of women provide? Does the passion of the extreme highs make you feel on top of the world and the extreme lows make you want to fight to stay together and get the highs back, leaving you blind to the character flaws that will never change? I see this all the time, good guys I might like to date can’t seem to let go of these crazy women who don’t have their lives together and aren’t all that great looking IMO.

Then I look back at me and wonder WTF i’m doing so wrong.

120

[quote]theBeth wrote:
Are guys addicted to the rollercoaster ride these type of women provide? Does the passion of the extreme highs make you feel on top of the world and the extreme lows make you want to fight to stay together and get the highs back, leaving you blind to the character flaws that will never change? I see this all the time, good guys I might like to date can’t seem to let go of these crazy women who don’t have their lives together and aren’t all that great looking IMO.

Then I look back at me and wonder WTF i’m doing so wrong.[/quote]

Well…

Crazy women raise hell in the sack?

I wish there was a more sophisticated reason and emotionally there kind of is the first time around but Beth, they fuck like Demons.

I kid you not.