You Versus Someone Better Looking For A Girl

[Waittz]

[quote]Prof wrote:

[quote]Waittz wrote:

[quote]Claudan wrote:

[quote]Waittz wrote:
Can’t help, I’m always the other guy.

Make more money then him, it’s your only hope seeing how you have no confidence. A Porsche can fix that. [/quote]

You are in la-la land and you pick a PORSCHE? Don’t get me wrong, the car is beautiful and I admire it, but every porsche I see is driven by exactly the type of people who are 100% see-through in their choices.

I’m old as fuck, fucked up hairline and wrinkles, lemme get a Porsche because “it can fix that”.

m3 is where it’s at(if we are talking less than… you know 80k cars). [/quote]

Because I drive a Porsche. I’m under 30 and have a full head of hair so fuck your assumptions.[/quote]

Waittz I don’t really keep tabs on the cliques and shit around here or what else you’re involved with, but between the skinny jeans thread and this one you’ve given some great advice that has also cracked me up. Keep doing you man. [/quote]

Hahahah appreciate the kind words man.

[uv_deth]

Get a copy of the ebook “Magic Bullets”, it’s a seduction ebook that’s really good. It’s not full of one liners or pick up lines, but goes into great detail about how women perceive potential mates based on a certain set of criteria that’s hardwired into them at the most basic, primal, level of being able to “care for their offspring”.

What you need my friend, is a system. You train and lift using a system or program - why not have one for attracting the girl(s) you’re interested in? Why leave it to your pitiful interpretation of “I just got lucky cause the other guy f*cked up”? I believe you need to see that you’ve got the skills at some basic level, you just need a system to help improve those skills and help you demonstrate to her that you are a better pick.

http://www.scribd.com/doc/94429476/Mystery-Method-Magic-Bullets

I’m not sure if that’s the full book, but I’d focus on the female psychology part first as you seem to be in a very lost state.

FYI, I’m not some playboy pickup artist. I’ve just found that when you have a game plan or map to fall back on, flirting with women or just casual conversation is so much more easier and natural. You won’t fumble around wondering if fag and fitch man is better than you. You will know what assets you have and can exploit to her likings.

[ryanbCXG]

[quote]stefan128 wrote:

[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:

[quote]stefan128 wrote:

[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:

[quote]stefan128 wrote:

[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:

[quote]stefan128 wrote:

[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:

[quote]stefan128 wrote:

[quote]Mr. Walkway wrote:

[quote]anonym wrote:
I don’t care what anyone in this thread says, you should try and do the whole “good looking” thing ASAP.

Makes life just so much easier.[/quote]

this, however, since we are talking about attracting women in this thread… my advice to OP would be to do the following:

-quit your job
-drop out of school
-drink heavily and do drugs
-treat females like shit… be blunt and brutal. call them “bitches, whores, c*nts” etc. be very controlling and demeaning… consider physical abuse
-consider contracting std’s, they give you an element of “uniqueness”

you will have more pussy than you will know what to do with. [/quote]

Hahaha, even though he catches shit for this it is so true of women around my age group. I am 21 btw. Now when women reach the ages of like 25 or so, this probably changes.[/quote]

Seems like you need to elevate the women you hang around if that’s what they are into
[/quote]

Haha, I never said I hang around them. I just know of people from my old high school and the college I am currently attending that date these “losers.”[/quote]

Time to introduce em to a winner then [/quote]

There’s the issue, all these guys that do what was mentioned before always get all the “ass.” The nice guy is too nice and is only seen as a friend. I have heard most people on this board say be in a way controlling and dominant. But if you aren’t those things you’re beta and will not get women.

Right now at age 21 I am not looking to sleep around but rather find my wife. I want to get to know the person first. Obviously if I see a sexy ass woman, in my head I am like damn, I would tear that up, but I am more into their personality. I do not want to be a man whore and I feel like at my age women aren’t also looking for their future husband, more of having a good time. [/quote]

That’s how I was/still and honesty I have no problem with women and have never had a “loser” portraying those qualities steal a woman from me or anything like that. Never had a problem getting to know someone before and during dating.

Don’t come out and say you are looking for prospective wife that might be freaky right away
[/quote]

Haha, oh I know that. I am just stating that college girls for the majority are super slutty and that in a way is accepted or seems to be. For that reason I do not even bother with the whole thing. [/quote]

The majority in some circles are and the majority in others aren’t. I think almost half of my current med school class is married or had a long term relationship so they weren’t being slutty…or maybe they were as walkaway I am sure will say. So I think you can find a solid woman in undergrad. But I do agree they can be or at least seem a bit slutty but there can be lots of that after undergrad as well.
[/quote]

And that bothers me… Cause I am religious and I have no problem with waiting till marriage to have sex… I know this has been discussed before but what do you guys think about the sexual past of a girl you start to date? Does that have any bearing on the relationship? I have a feeling it would bother me but I don’t know. [/quote]

Personally for me it doesn’t bother me unless she has been around the block and then some. That would make me question if she would ever settle down. Though I have yet to run into that problem I seem to just not pick ppl to date by luck or other factors that are not that way and are normally around the same number +- that I have been with. I’m sure others will have a more in depth response.

[spar4tee]

[quote]Waittz wrote:

[quote]Prof wrote:

[quote]Waittz wrote:

[quote]Claudan wrote:

[quote]Waittz wrote:
Can’t help, I’m always the other guy.

Make more money then him, it’s your only hope seeing how you have no confidence. A Porsche can fix that. [/quote]

You are in la-la land and you pick a PORSCHE? Don’t get me wrong, the car is beautiful and I admire it, but every porsche I see is driven by exactly the type of people who are 100% see-through in their choices.

I’m old as fuck, fucked up hairline and wrinkles, lemme get a Porsche because “it can fix that”.

m3 is where it’s at(if we are talking less than… you know 80k cars). [/quote]

Because I drive a Porsche. I’m under 30 and have a full head of hair so fuck your assumptions.[/quote]

Waittz I don’t really keep tabs on the cliques and shit around here or what else you’re involved with, but between the skinny jeans thread and this one you’ve given some great advice that has also cracked me up. Keep doing you man. [/quote]

Hahahah appreciate the kind words man.

[/quote]
You’ll reach Goldberg status soon

[2busy]

[quote]spar4tee wrote:

[quote]2busy wrote:

[quote]Nards wrote:

[quote]2busy wrote:
Just ask her out.

[/quote]

Oh man what’s with bringing in the simple, logical stuff? You trying to kill this thread early with sound advice??[/quote]

Oops, sorry.

Obviously I’m doing it wrong.[/quote]
Yeah man. All those little nibblets you have running around and that women in your kitchen are clear markers of your failures with women.[/quote]

There’s no woman in the kitchen. Back to being a single guy.

She was trying to beta-zize me. It didn’t go over well.

[stefan128]

[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:

[quote]stefan128 wrote:

[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:

[quote]stefan128 wrote:

[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:

[quote]stefan128 wrote:

[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:

[quote]stefan128 wrote:

[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:

[quote]stefan128 wrote:

[quote]Mr. Walkway wrote:

[quote]anonym wrote:
I don’t care what anyone in this thread says, you should try and do the whole “good looking” thing ASAP.

Makes life just so much easier.[/quote]

this, however, since we are talking about attracting women in this thread… my advice to OP would be to do the following:

-quit your job
-drop out of school
-drink heavily and do drugs
-treat females like shit… be blunt and brutal. call them “bitches, whores, c*nts” etc. be very controlling and demeaning… consider physical abuse
-consider contracting std’s, they give you an element of “uniqueness”

you will have more pussy than you will know what to do with. [/quote]

Hahaha, even though he catches shit for this it is so true of women around my age group. I am 21 btw. Now when women reach the ages of like 25 or so, this probably changes.[/quote]

Seems like you need to elevate the women you hang around if that’s what they are into
[/quote]

Haha, I never said I hang around them. I just know of people from my old high school and the college I am currently attending that date these “losers.”[/quote]

Time to introduce em to a winner then [/quote]

There’s the issue, all these guys that do what was mentioned before always get all the “ass.” The nice guy is too nice and is only seen as a friend. I have heard most people on this board say be in a way controlling and dominant. But if you aren’t those things you’re beta and will not get women.

Right now at age 21 I am not looking to sleep around but rather find my wife. I want to get to know the person first. Obviously if I see a sexy ass woman, in my head I am like damn, I would tear that up, but I am more into their personality. I do not want to be a man whore and I feel like at my age women aren’t also looking for their future husband, more of having a good time. [/quote]

That’s how I was/still and honesty I have no problem with women and have never had a “loser” portraying those qualities steal a woman from me or anything like that. Never had a problem getting to know someone before and during dating.

Don’t come out and say you are looking for prospective wife that might be freaky right away
[/quote]

Haha, oh I know that. I am just stating that college girls for the majority are super slutty and that in a way is accepted or seems to be. For that reason I do not even bother with the whole thing. [/quote]

The majority in some circles are and the majority in others aren’t. I think almost half of my current med school class is married or had a long term relationship so they weren’t being slutty…or maybe they were as walkaway I am sure will say. So I think you can find a solid woman in undergrad. But I do agree they can be or at least seem a bit slutty but there can be lots of that after undergrad as well.
[/quote]

And that bothers me… Cause I am religious and I have no problem with waiting till marriage to have sex… I know this has been discussed before but what do you guys think about the sexual past of a girl you start to date? Does that have any bearing on the relationship? I have a feeling it would bother me but I don’t know. [/quote]

Personally for me it doesn’t bother me unless she has been around the block and then some. That would make me question if she would ever settle down. Though I have yet to run into that problem I seem to just not pick ppl to date by luck or other factors that are not that way and are normally around the same number +- that I have been with. I’m sure others will have a more in depth response. [/quote]

I agree with your answer. I don’t want to go too in depth but there is this girl that I have liked for a while that I went to school with. Awesome personality etc. But she probably has been with about 20 guys, from what I know. Now, some of those are 1 night stands, not all though. She has told me she regretted some but than other times I have heard it has made her the person I am today. I also know she is a FREAK, which is not necessarily a bad thing. I know eventually she would settle down but that many partners really irks me when I have thought about it.

[spar4tee]

[quote]2busy wrote:

[quote]spar4tee wrote:

[quote]2busy wrote:

[quote]Nards wrote:

[quote]2busy wrote:
Just ask her out.

[/quote]

Oh man what’s with bringing in the simple, logical stuff? You trying to kill this thread early with sound advice??[/quote]

Oops, sorry.

Obviously I’m doing it wrong.[/quote]
Yeah man. All those little nibblets you have running around and that women in your kitchen are clear markers of your failures with women.[/quote]

There’s no woman in the kitchen. Back to being a single guy.

She was trying to beta-zize me. It didn’t go over well.
[/quote]
Gotta keep your alpha powers, man. Don’t want to turn into a happy, little bitch.

[Claudan]

[quote]Waittz wrote:

[quote]Claudan wrote:

[quote]Waittz wrote:
Can’t help, I’m always the other guy.

Make more money then him, it’s your only hope seeing how you have no confidence. A Porsche can fix that. [/quote]

You are in la-la land and you pick a PORSCHE? Don’t get me wrong, the car is beautiful and I admire it, but every porsche I see is driven by exactly the type of people who are 100% see-through in their choices.

I’m old as fuck, fucked up hairline and wrinkles, lemme get a Porsche because “it can fix that”.

m3 is where it’s at(if we are talking less than… you know 80k cars). [/quote]

Because I drive a Porsche. I’m under 30 and have a full head of hair so fuck your assumptions.[/quote]

lmao you go girl

[LoRez]

[quote]stefan128 wrote:
There’s the issue, all these guys that do what was mentioned before always get all the “ass.” The nice guy is too nice and is only seen as a friend. I have heard most people on this board say be in a way controlling and dominant. But if you aren’t those things you’re beta and will not get women.[/quote]

I wanted to back up just a bit.

There’s a whole spectrum between the nice guy archetype, and the misogynistic one described above. There’s really a lot of things at play.

Looking at it in two different dimensions might help.

The nice guy respects women, but isn’t willing to pursue his own wants and desires. It’s not quite as simple as “he puts her wants before his”, but it’s close.

The misogynistic guy doesn’t respect women, but is willing to [aggressively] pursue his own wants and desires.

There’s a middle ground where you can respect women, but also respect your own desires, and pursue those. Think of the difference between “aggressive” and “assertive”. Being “controlling” is at the extreme end of the spectrum. If you’re assertive about what you want, and willing to forego some of the “what will she think of me if I…?” thoughts, you’ll be a lot better off.

[Mr_Walkway]

[quote]stefan128 wrote:

[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:

[quote]stefan128 wrote:

[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:

[quote]stefan128 wrote:

[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:

[quote]stefan128 wrote:

[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:

[quote]stefan128 wrote:

[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:

[quote]stefan128 wrote:

[quote]Mr. Walkway wrote:

[quote]anonym wrote:
I don’t care what anyone in this thread says, you should try and do the whole “good looking” thing ASAP.

Makes life just so much easier.[/quote]

this, however, since we are talking about attracting women in this thread… my advice to OP would be to do the following:

-quit your job
-drop out of school
-drink heavily and do drugs
-treat females like shit… be blunt and brutal. call them “bitches, whores, c*nts” etc. be very controlling and demeaning… consider physical abuse
-consider contracting std’s, they give you an element of “uniqueness”

you will have more pussy than you will know what to do with. [/quote]

Hahaha, even though he catches shit for this it is so true of women around my age group. I am 21 btw. Now when women reach the ages of like 25 or so, this probably changes.[/quote]

Seems like you need to elevate the women you hang around if that’s what they are into
[/quote]

Haha, I never said I hang around them. I just know of people from my old high school and the college I am currently attending that date these “losers.”[/quote]

Time to introduce em to a winner then [/quote]

There’s the issue, all these guys that do what was mentioned before always get all the “ass.” The nice guy is too nice and is only seen as a friend. I have heard most people on this board say be in a way controlling and dominant. But if you aren’t those things you’re beta and will not get women.

Right now at age 21 I am not looking to sleep around but rather find my wife. I want to get to know the person first. Obviously if I see a sexy ass woman, in my head I am like damn, I would tear that up, but I am more into their personality. I do not want to be a man whore and I feel like at my age women aren’t also looking for their future husband, more of having a good time. [/quote]

That’s how I was/still and honesty I have no problem with women and have never had a “loser” portraying those qualities steal a woman from me or anything like that. Never had a problem getting to know someone before and during dating.

Don’t come out and say you are looking for prospective wife that might be freaky right away
[/quote]

Haha, oh I know that. I am just stating that college girls for the majority are super slutty and that in a way is accepted or seems to be. For that reason I do not even bother with the whole thing. [/quote]

The majority in some circles are and the majority in others aren’t. I think almost half of my current med school class is married or had a long term relationship so they weren’t being slutty…or maybe they were as walkaway I am sure will say. So I think you can find a solid woman in undergrad. But I do agree they can be or at least seem a bit slutty but there can be lots of that after undergrad as well.
[/quote]

And that bothers me… Cause I am religious and I have no problem with waiting till marriage to have sex… I know this has been discussed before but what do you guys think about the sexual past of a girl you start to date? Does that have any bearing on the relationship? I have a feeling it would bother me but I don’t know. [/quote]

Personally for me it doesn’t bother me unless she has been around the block and then some. That would make me question if she would ever settle down. Though I have yet to run into that problem I seem to just not pick ppl to date by luck or other factors that are not that way and are normally around the same number +- that I have been with. I’m sure others will have a more in depth response. [/quote]

I agree with your answer. I don’t want to go too in depth but there is this girl that I have liked for a while that I went to school with. Awesome personality etc. But she probably has been with about 20 guys, from what I know. Now, some of those are 1 night stands, not all though. She has told me she regretted some but than other times I have heard it has made her the person I am today. I also know she is a FREAK, which is not necessarily a bad thing. I know eventually she would settle down but that many partners really irks me when I have thought about it. [/quote]

as a religious person, I also take issue with having sex before marriage… that’s one of the reasons why I haven’t done “it”.

as for what I want in a woman in terms of “sexual innocence”… ive been told many times that im “unreasonable”, but I disagree.

anyways

ive noticed that only women say “but it made me into who I am today”… your friend appears to me a spin master, as many women are. a person with any measure of intelligence/willpower/decency can learn all they need to know by watching others.

[RampantBadger]

[quote]Mr. Walkway wrote:

[quote]stefan128 wrote:

[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:

[quote]stefan128 wrote:

[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:

[quote]stefan128 wrote:

[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:

[quote]stefan128 wrote:

[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:

[quote]stefan128 wrote:

[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:

[quote]stefan128 wrote:

[quote]Mr. Walkway wrote:

[quote]anonym wrote:
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a person with any measure of intelligence/willpower/decency can learn all they need to know by watching others. [/quote]

Haha. I’ve watched every superbowl since Reagan was in office does that mean I can now play in the NFL?

[spar4tee]

[quote]RampantBadger wrote:

[quote]Mr. Walkway wrote:

[quote]stefan128 wrote:

[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:

[quote]stefan128 wrote:

[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:

[quote]stefan128 wrote:

[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:

[quote]stefan128 wrote:

[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:

[quote]stefan128 wrote:

[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:

[quote]stefan128 wrote:

[quote]Mr. Walkway wrote:

[quote]anonym wrote:
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a person with any measure of intelligence/willpower/decency can learn all they need to know by watching others. [/quote]

Haha. I’ve watched every superbowl since Reagan was in office does that mean I can now play in the NFL?
[/quote]
No, too old.

[Mr_Walkway]

[quote]RampantBadger wrote:

[quote]Mr. Walkway wrote:

[quote]stefan128 wrote:

[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:

[quote]stefan128 wrote:

[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:

[quote]stefan128 wrote:

[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:

[quote]stefan128 wrote:

[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:

[quote]stefan128 wrote:

[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:

[quote]stefan128 wrote:

[quote]Mr. Walkway wrote:

[quote]anonym wrote:
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a person with any measure of intelligence/willpower/decency can learn all they need to know by watching others. [/quote]

Haha. I’ve watched every superbowl since Reagan was in office does that mean I can now play in the NFL?
[/quote]

no… but surely you know how to play football?

[batman730]

[quote]Gettnitdone wrote:
Part of the reason for me starting up this thread was because I thought many guys here have been in similar situations where they’ve had to compete for a girl’s affection. It would be interesting to hear some stories instead of pages of anecdotes (which have definitely helped me start changing my belief system).[/quote]

Alright, I’ll play.

My ex from when I was about your age was the girl ALL the guys wanted to get with. By “ALL the guys” I mean virtually every hetero male she came in contact with and by “wanted to get with” I don’t mean they’d hit it, I mean like obsessively pursued regardless of their age, “type” or relationship/marital status. I honestly don’t know what it was about this girl. In terms of raw looks she was an 8, 8.5 max. However she had this enormous thumping mojo that transformed her into this supermassive black hole of sex appeal from whose gravity well not even light could escape. It was a bit spooky in retrospect.

Anyway, when we met she was dating one guy and had the hook firmly set in at least 4 more in her immediate circle. I’ve referred to her in another thread as being at the centre of a star system of “beta orbiters”. Each of these guys had at least one thing over on me. One was better looking, one was more successful and better connected, one was better umm… endowed, and so on. Anyway, I just sort of sauntered up to her and started chatting and we ended up together for three heady, tumultuous years before the whole thing grenaded. During that time “competition” was non stop because she would just keep accumulating these guys everywhere she went and they were relentless. Girl was like crack.

I found I was most successful and least stressed during the periods where I was able to completely disregard the other dudes and focus on being the best, most confident effective and self actualized human being I could be. I don’t mean that I found ways to compare myself favourably with these guys or that I pumped myself up in my own mind. That just created anxiety. I mean when I was able to just disregard their existence as being in any way relevant to me and what I was trying to accomplish in life. I just did my thing and was into what I was into. It sounds cliche, but it’s magic, IME.

That’s part of the reason I busted your balls about it seeming like you’re a little too into Abercrombie dude. If you turn it into a competition with this guy in your mind, you’ve already lost IMO. You’ll create unnecessary tension and anxiety that will mess up your flow and reduce your enjoyment and your chances of success. If you do “win”, the anxiety will start again the second another contender takes the field, and there is ALWAYS another contender. It’s a lose/lose situation.

On the other hand, if you treat it as an exercise in taking risks and working toward getting over your shit with the possibility of a romantic entanglement with an attractive young lady as a pleasant potential side benefit, then you cannot lose in any meaningful way. This is of course easier said than done, but it’s the simplest thing in the world at the same time.

As a side note, if you truly do value this girl’s friendship (which is not the same as just liking her/thinking she’s cool IMO), I would advise against dating/sleeping with her. The likelihood that your friendship will survive is extremely low. However if you’re attracted to her and just happen to think that she might be a decent, worthwhile human being as well, I say have at it. Life is short and it’s already later than you think.

[RampantBadger]

[quote]spar4tee wrote:

[quote]RampantBadger wrote:

[quote]Mr. Walkway wrote:

[quote]stefan128 wrote:

[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:

[quote]stefan128 wrote:

[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:

[quote]stefan128 wrote:

[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:

[quote]stefan128 wrote:

[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:

[quote]stefan128 wrote:

[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:

[quote]stefan128 wrote:

[quote]Mr. Walkway wrote:

[quote]anonym wrote:
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a person with any measure of intelligence/willpower/decency can learn all they need to know by watching others. [/quote]

Haha. I’ve watched every superbowl since Reagan was in office does that mean I can now play in the NFL?
[/quote]
No, too old.[/quote]

Goddamit. Well I’m gonna take that deer antler spray and try and get myself a murder trial and see where it takes me.

[MytchBucanan]

Women don’t care about looks that much. Men sure do and I think they make the mistake of assuming women think the same way. Just be charming and comfortable in your own skin an doors will open for you.

[cstratton2]

[quote]batman730 wrote:

[quote]Gettnitdone wrote:
Part of the reason for me starting up this thread was because I thought many guys here have been in similar situations where they’ve had to compete for a girl’s affection. It would be interesting to hear some stories instead of pages of anecdotes (which have definitely helped me start changing my belief system).[/quote]

Alright, I’ll play.

My ex from when I was about your age was the girl ALL the guys wanted to get with. By “ALL the guys” I mean virtually every hetero male she came in contact with and by “wanted to get with” I don’t mean they’d hit it, I mean like obsessively pursued regardless of their age, “type” or relationship/marital status. I honestly don’t know what it was about this girl. In terms of raw looks she was an 8, 8.5 max. However she had this enormous thumping mojo that transformed her into this supermassive black hole of sex appeal from whose gravity well not even light could escape. It was a bit spooky in retrospect.

Anyway, when we met she was dating one guy and had the hook firmly set in at least 4 more in her immediate circle. I’ve referred to her in another thread as being at the centre of a star system of “beta orbiters”. Each of these guys had at least one thing over on me. One was better looking, one was more successful and better connected, one was better umm… endowed, and so on. Anyway, I just sort of sauntered up to her and started chatting and we ended up together for three heady, tumultuous years before the whole thing grenaded. During that time “competition” was non stop because she would just keep accumulating these guys everywhere she went and they were relentless. Girl was like crack.

I found I was most successful and least stressed during the periods where I was able to completely disregard the other dudes and focus on being the best, most confident effective and self actualized human being I could be. I don’t mean that I found ways to compare myself favourably with these guys or that I pumped myself up in my own mind. That just created anxiety. I mean when I was able to just disregard their existence as being in any way relevant to me and what I was trying to accomplish in life. I just did my thing and was into what I was into. It sounds cliche, but it’s magic, IME.

That’s part of the reason I busted your balls about it seeming like you’re a little too into Abercrombie dude. If you turn it into a competition with this guy in your mind, you’ve already lost IMO. You’ll create unnecessary tension and anxiety that will mess up your flow and reduce your enjoyment and your chances of success. If you do “win”, the anxiety will start again the second another contender takes the field, and there is ALWAYS another contender. It’s a lose/lose situation.

On the other hand, if you treat it as an exercise in taking risks and working toward getting over your shit with the possibility of a romantic entanglement with an attractive young lady as a pleasant potential side benefit, then you cannot lose in any meaningful way. This is of course easier said than done, but it’s the simplest thing in the world at the same time.

As a side note, if you truly do value this girl’s friendship (which is not the same as just liking her/thinking she’s cool IMO), I would advise against dating/sleeping with her. The likelihood that your friendship will survive is extremely low. However if you’re attracted to her and just happen to think that she might be a decent, worthwhile human being as well, I say have at it. Life is short and it’s already later than you think. [/quote]

Damn awesome post Batman!! I have a few stories but will write later since I do not have the time at the moment.

“Ironically states the guy posting on GAL at 1 AM on a sunday night” lol

[Gettnitdone]

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]batman730 wrote:

[quote]Gettnitdone wrote:
Part of the reason for me starting up this thread was because I thought many guys here have been in similar situations where they’ve had to compete for a girl’s affection. It would be interesting to hear some stories instead of pages of anecdotes (which have definitely helped me start changing my belief system).[/quote]

Alright, I’ll play.

My ex from when I was about your age was the girl ALL the guys wanted to get with. By “ALL the guys” I mean virtually every hetero male she came in contact with and by “wanted to get with” I don’t mean they’d hit it, I mean like obsessively pursued regardless of their age, “type” or relationship/marital status. I honestly don’t know what it was about this girl. In terms of raw looks she was an 8, 8.5 max. However she had this enormous thumping mojo that transformed her into this supermassive black hole of sex appeal from whose gravity well not even light could escape. It was a bit spooky in retrospect.

Anyway, when we met she was dating one guy and had the hook firmly set in at least 4 more in her immediate circle. I’ve referred to her in another thread as being at the centre of a star system of “beta orbiters”. Each of these guys had at least one thing over on me. One was better looking, one was more successful and better connected, one was better umm… endowed, and so on. Anyway, I just sort of sauntered up to her and started chatting and we ended up together for three heady, tumultuous years before the whole thing grenaded. During that time “competition” was non stop because she would just keep accumulating these guys everywhere she went and they were relentless. Girl was like crack.

I found I was most successful and least stressed during the periods where I was able to completely disregard the other dudes and focus on being the best, most confident effective and self actualized human being I could be. I don’t mean that I found ways to compare myself favourably with these guys or that I pumped myself up in my own mind. That just created anxiety. I mean when I was able to just disregard their existence as being in any way relevant to me and what I was trying to accomplish in life. I just did my thing and was into what I was into. It sounds cliche, but it’s magic, IME.

That’s part of the reason I busted your balls about it seeming like you’re a little too into Abercrombie dude. If you turn it into a competition with this guy in your mind, you’ve already lost IMO. You’ll create unnecessary tension and anxiety that will mess up your flow and reduce your enjoyment and your chances of success. If you do “win”, the anxiety will start again the second another contender takes the field, and there is ALWAYS another contender. It’s a lose/lose situation.

On the other hand, if you treat it as an exercise in taking risks and working toward getting over your shit with the possibility of a romantic entanglement with an attractive young lady as a pleasant potential side benefit, then you cannot lose in any meaningful way. This is of course easier said than done, but it’s the simplest thing in the world at the same time.

As a side note, if you truly do value this girl’s friendship (which is not the same as just liking her/thinking she’s cool IMO), I would advise against dating/sleeping with her. The likelihood that your friendship will survive is extremely low. However if you’re attracted to her and just happen to think that she might be a decent, worthwhile human being as well, I say have at it. Life is short and it’s already later than you think. [/quote]

Always enjoy your contributions.[/quote]

Seconded.

That was precisely the type of post I was hoping would pop up here. I’m going to take your advice to heart, thanks man.

[system]

[quote]stefan128 wrote:

[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:

[quote]stefan128 wrote:

[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:

[quote]stefan128 wrote:

[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:

[quote]stefan128 wrote:

[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:

[quote]stefan128 wrote:

[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:

[quote]stefan128 wrote:

[quote]Mr. Walkway wrote:

[quote]anonym wrote:
I don’t care what anyone in this thread says, you should try and do the whole “good looking” thing ASAP.

Makes life just so much easier.[/quote]

this, however, since we are talking about attracting women in this thread… my advice to OP would be to do the following:

-quit your job
-drop out of school
-drink heavily and do drugs
-treat females like shit… be blunt and brutal. call them “bitches, whores, c*nts” etc. be very controlling and demeaning… consider physical abuse
-consider contracting std’s, they give you an element of “uniqueness”

you will have more pussy than you will know what to do with. [/quote]

Hahaha, even though he catches shit for this it is so true of women around my age group. I am 21 btw. Now when women reach the ages of like 25 or so, this probably changes.[/quote]

Seems like you need to elevate the women you hang around if that’s what they are into
[/quote]

Haha, I never said I hang around them. I just know of people from my old high school and the college I am currently attending that date these “losers.”[/quote]

Time to introduce em to a winner then [/quote]

There’s the issue, all these guys that do what was mentioned before always get all the “ass.” The nice guy is too nice and is only seen as a friend. I have heard most people on this board say be in a way controlling and dominant. But if you aren’t those things you’re beta and will not get women.

Right now at age 21 I am not looking to sleep around but rather find my wife. I want to get to know the person first. Obviously if I see a sexy ass woman, in my head I am like damn, I would tear that up, but I am more into their personality. I do not want to be a man whore and I feel like at my age women aren’t also looking for their future husband, more of having a good time. [/quote]

That’s how I was/still and honesty I have no problem with women and have never had a “loser” portraying those qualities steal a woman from me or anything like that. Never had a problem getting to know someone before and during dating.

Don’t come out and say you are looking for prospective wife that might be freaky right away
[/quote]

Haha, oh I know that. I am just stating that college girls for the majority are super slutty and that in a way is accepted or seems to be. For that reason I do not even bother with the whole thing. [/quote]

The majority in some circles are and the majority in others aren’t. I think almost half of my current med school class is married or had a long term relationship so they weren’t being slutty…or maybe they were as walkaway I am sure will say. So I think you can find a solid woman in undergrad. But I do agree they can be or at least seem a bit slutty but there can be lots of that after undergrad as well.
[/quote]

And that bothers me… Cause I am religious and I have no problem with waiting till marriage to have sex… I know this has been discussed before but what do you guys think about the sexual past of a girl you start to date? Does that have any bearing on the relationship? I have a feeling it would bother me but I don’t know. [/quote]

Personally for me it doesn’t bother me unless she has been around the block and then some. That would make me question if she would ever settle down. Though I have yet to run into that problem I seem to just not pick ppl to date by luck or other factors that are not that way and are normally around the same number +- that I have been with. I’m sure others will have a more in depth response. [/quote]

I agree with your answer. I don’t want to go too in depth but there is this girl that I have liked for a while that I went to school with. Awesome personality etc. But she probably has been with about 20 guys, from what I know. Now, some of those are 1 night stands, not all though. She has told me she regretted some but than other times I have heard it has made her the person I am today. I also know she is a FREAK, which is not necessarily a bad thing. I know eventually she would settle down but that many partners really irks me when I have thought about it. [/quote]

Once a whore, always a whore. Just remember that.