Hund = Dog
Fuhrer = Leader
Just so you know
In German it would be “Diensthundefuhrer”. We would use the plural version of hund, so there’s this extra “e”.
The expression “Diensthundefuhrer” is mainly used for guys that are responsible for the dogs used for police service or at the airports for example.
ontopic:
Some German women seem to be bitching just the same way as stated in this thread, at least I just experienced it that way. At the moment I’m testing the Italian version and will report on my experiences.
By the way, sorry for my poor English, but I didn’t practice it for some time.
Greetings from Berlin, Germany
modernist
From a T-Vixen perspective: I just read through this entire thread & found it quite intriguing. I am amazed at the shit that you all put up with! I don’t say that as a cheap shot to you all for respecting your marriage, I say that as in what kind of woman would not want her man to be healthy & strong. It is entirely an insecurity on a woman’s part to not want her partner to be the best that he can be.
From a T-Vixen stand-point, I have made a commitment to myself to be healthy & strong & would not ever let anyone come between me & my commitment to myself. You have made an important decision to lead the lifestyle that you live & you need to do what it takes to help your wife or gf (that is an “or,” not an “and”) understand that. If she cannot, then I suggest you look elsewhere. I don’t mean to say that you should just give up & leave without trying. A lot of posters have already stated good ways to get your lady to join you or respect your decisions, try these before you up and leave.
On a seperate note, you should be working out for yourself. If you are working out to catch the eye of a hot, young blonde then I am not surprised that your wife is feeling insecure. In this case, you are not helping your cause by letting your eye stray. Instead, encourage her to join you & work-out. It is much better to have the woman you married become a T-Vixen than to pick up some hottie on the street whom you don’t love as a person.
To AB, good luck on your BB show. It is amazing what some of you old guys 
can achieve!! However, I have to thrown in my opinion on your situation, this is only based on the info you have given thus far I obviously am not in your situation nor do I mean to judge. As a child psychologist with special needs children, I see a lot of families whose marriages are in crisis. Please reconsider why you are in your situation. It is not healthy for kids to see their mother berate their father (or vice versa). Please consider that you are doing them a disservice by letting them see your wife treat you this way.
If you are staying where you are just for your kids please keep in mind that the best thing you can do for your kids, especially them being boys is to be the best role model that you can be. I think this is a societal pitfall: If positions were switched and you were berating her people would say that you are teaching your boys to disrespect women and it would be a big issue. But in your position, you are allowing her to teach them that men don’t need to be healthy & strong.
If you have the good values of being a strong & healthy man then it is your responsibility to teach your boys that health & happiness are top priorities in life & that other people cannot take that from you. Their is a saying that I love: “The best thing a father can do for their children is to love their mother.” However, please remember that the best thing a mother can do for her children is to love & respect their father & if this is not occurring (both ways) then you are nto helping your kids by keeping them in a disrespectful situation.
Okay, I’m stepping off my soap box now!
[quote]modernist wrote:
In German it would be “Diensthundefuhrer”. We would use the plural version of hund, so there’s this extra “e”.
The expression “Diensthundefuhrer” is mainly used for guys that are responsible for the dogs used for police service or at the airports for example.
ontopic:
Some German women seem to be bitching just the same way as stated in this thread, at least I just experienced it that way. At the moment I’m testing the Italian version and will report on my experiences.
By the way, sorry for my poor English, but I didn’t practice it for some time.
Greetings from Berlin, Germany
modernist
[/quote]
Your English is 100% better than my German.
Thanks, modernist.
You’re welcome. Don’t hesitate to ask if something in German is unclear!
Man, it’s been a while since I wrote something in English. Living in Berlin means you have to talk in foreign languages a lot, but it’s something totally different to write your thoughts down and having to remember grammar and all that stuff…
MTVixen,
Thank you for your response. I agree with you completely.
Since receiving all of the well meaning advice from this thread I took my wife out to dinner last night and we had a nice long talk.
In a nutshell we talked about our problems and what to do about them. We both realize we have grown in such different directions that we have very little to salvage. We have agreed to separate. We feel it’s probably the best for all parties especially the kids.
I will temporarily be the custodial parent of our kids due to schools, friends, etc. and this will allow her to make necessary financial arrangements. She will get a place of her own with my assistance. We both agreed to make this as amicable as possible and try to remain on friendly terms.
I told her that she is the mother of my children and we will be around each other for the rest of our lives. We can either be civil or act like assholes, but I prefer the former. She agreed. I told her I have no ill will or hard feelings towards her. Everything ended on a positive note.
We spoke to the boys earlier today and they seem to be alright with the arrangements. She is apartment hunting as we speak.
Hopefully things will start to work out. I want to thank all of you who where kind enough to share your thoughts, feelings and opinions with me. Even though I don’t know any of you personally I really have felt the warmth and peace that you get from sharing with friends that I haven’t felt in a long time.
Thank you all. If any of you plan a trip to Las Vegas and would like a tour guide give me a shout. Your friend,
AssBuster
AB,
I’m really glad to hear the two of you worked it out amicably.
Honestly, I think it is better for your children to see the two of you treat each other with respect as adults, even if it means you have to be apart. It happens to a lot of people these days, so don’t go down the road of thinking you or your wife are the lessor for it.
Now, instead of spending all my time giving advice, I need to work on finding myself a t-vixen before all these bastards around here scoop them all up!
This thread confirms what I had begun to suspect some time ago: fat people are evil.
assbuster,
Reading your story, I can’t help but think that maybe you’re both wrong. When I think of what I value more
- Supplements and Organic Food
or
- A functional marriage.
I say go for number 2. The marriage will either work or it won’t. For it to work you’ll need to be in love. For you to be in love, you need to put her before protein powder. As for her snide comments:
a.) I wouldn’t mind people making fun of me for being too muscular. Next time she tries making fun of you to a waiter, why not say “haha, that’s pretty funny because I am really fucking hot.”
b.) Maybe she makes fun of you to feel better about herself. If you loved her, you’d wouldn’t begrudge her that. I have no doubt that it’s hard to be an in shape middle aged mother of 2, especially if you’re addicted to nicotine and alcohol.
So, I guess that is my point. Either be in love or don’t, but you can’t be halfway in love, and you can’t make the marriage work if you’re not. It seems like you’ve picked “don’t.” But before you finalize anything I hope you’ll give some thought to giving Love a chance?
Obviously, you know the situation better than me, and obviously I’ve seen to many chick flicks. But you know how in those movies where the relationship is almost over but then the man runs through the rain to catch up with her car to tell her she’s the most important thing in the world and then there’s a happy ending? She grew up on that, all chicks did, maybe that’s all she wanted. You worked together once before, I believe you an do it again, and believe me brother, it’s going to be lonely once the kids leave if you don’t work it out.
You know, a lot of Brainfreez’s post struck me as being off on a few levels – just really didn’t jive with me. But I felt compelled to respond to this part.
[quote]brainfreez wrote:
b.) Maybe she makes fun of you to feel better about herself. If you loved her, you’d wouldn’t begrudge her that.[/quote]
BULL.
SHIT.
It drives me mad when I see that kind of insanity promoted as a path to healthy relationships. “If you really loved them, you’d let them abuse you”. What the fuck?!?
Loving someone does not equate to tolerating abusive behaviour. Accepting abuse, of any stripe, doesn’t prove that you love someone – it just proves you’re a doormat. For any relationship to flourish in a state of solid, functional love, it has to be a relationship of equals. With one party demeaning the other as a means of self-validation, the potential dynamic of equals automatically evaporates.
AB I don’t know you personally, but I have the utmost respect and admiration for you stepping up to the plate as a man, and taking care of yourself and your interests and taking control of your life. I believe you made the right call for yourself, and that way you can be a better man to everyone else in your life. Best of luck to you.
[quote]brainfreez wrote:
assbuster,
Reading your story, I can’t help but think that maybe you’re both wrong. When I think of what I value more
- Supplements and Organic Food
or
- A functional marriage.
I say go for number 2. The marriage will either work or it won’t. For it to work you’ll need to be in love. For you to be in love, you need to put her before protein powder. As for her snide comments:
a.) I wouldn’t mind people making fun of me for being too muscular. Next time she tries making fun of you to a waiter, why not say “haha, that’s pretty funny because I am really fucking hot.”
b.) Maybe she makes fun of you to feel better about herself. If you loved her, you’d wouldn’t begrudge her that. I have no doubt that it’s hard to be an in shape middle aged mother of 2, especially if you’re addicted to nicotine and alcohol.
So, I guess that is my point. Either be in love or don’t, but you can’t be halfway in love, and you can’t make the marriage work if you’re not. It seems like you’ve picked “don’t.” But before you finalize anything I hope you’ll give some thought to giving Love a chance?
Obviously, you know the situation better than me, and obviously I’ve seen to many chick flicks. But you know how in those movies where the relationship is almost over but then the man runs through the rain to catch up with her car to tell her she’s the most important thing in the world and then there’s a happy ending? She grew up on that, all chicks did, maybe that’s all she wanted. You worked together once before, I believe you an do it again, and believe me brother, it’s going to be lonely once the kids leave if you don’t work it out. [/quote]
I totally disagree. It is not training and eating healthy that is the problem. He could change all that and it would not fix the relationship.
The problems are obviously much deeper.
[quote]brainfreez wrote:
assbuster,
Reading your story, I can’t help but think that maybe you’re both wrong. When I think of what I value more
- Supplements and Organic Food
or
- A functional marriage.
I say go for number 2. The marriage will either work or it won’t. For it to work you’ll need to be in love. For you to be in love, you need to put her before protein powder. As for her snide comments:
a.) I wouldn’t mind people making fun of me for being too muscular. Next time she tries making fun of you to a waiter, why not say “haha, that’s pretty funny because I am really fucking hot.”
b.) Maybe she makes fun of you to feel better about herself. If you loved her, you’d wouldn’t begrudge her that. I have no doubt that it’s hard to be an in shape middle aged mother of 2, especially if you’re addicted to nicotine and alcohol.
So, I guess that is my point. Either be in love or don’t, but you can’t be halfway in love, and you can’t make the marriage work if you’re not. It seems like you’ve picked “don’t.” But before you finalize anything I hope you’ll give some thought to giving Love a chance?
Obviously, you know the situation better than me, and obviously I’ve seen to many chick flicks. But you know how in those movies where the relationship is almost over but then the man runs through the rain to catch up with her car to tell her she’s the most important thing in the world and then there’s a happy ending? She grew up on that, all chicks did, maybe that’s all she wanted. You worked together once before, I believe you an do it again, and believe me brother, it’s going to be lonely once the kids leave if you don’t work it out. [/quote]
Even though I respectfully disagree with your post, I want to thank you anyway for the time and energy it took for you to respond.
I had planned a rather lengthy reply and justification but it appears my friends Northcott and Zap Branigan’s replies (although a tad harsher than if I had replied), are pretty good and on target.
Thank you and peace,
AssBuster
[quote]TrainerinDC wrote:
AB I don’t know you personally, but I have the utmost respect and admiration for you stepping up to the plate as a man, and taking care of yourself and your interests and taking control of your life. I believe you made the right call for yourself, and that way you can be a better man to everyone else in your life. Best of luck to you. [/quote]
I have feared all of these years for failure of my marriage. However now that it seems the end is near rather than feeling fear, I feel a certain amount of relief and excitement and for the first time in a very long time an optimism for my future.
Thank you my friend for your support.
AssBuster
[quote]assbuster wrote:
MTVixen,
Thank you for your response. I agree with you completely.
Since receiving all of the well meaning advice from this thread I took my wife out to dinner last night and we had a nice long talk.
In a nutshell we talked about our problems and what to do about them. We both realize we have grown in such different directions that we have very little to salvage. We have agreed to separate. We feel it’s probably the best for all parties especially the kids.
I will temporarily be the custodial parent of our kids due to schools, friends, etc. and this will allow her to make necessary financial arrangements. She will get a place of her own with my assistance. We both agreed to make this as amicable as possible and try to remain on friendly terms.
I told her that she is the mother of my children and we will be around each other for the rest of our lives. We can either be civil or act like assholes, but I prefer the former. She agreed. I told her I have no ill will or hard feelings towards her. Everything ended on a positive note.
We spoke to the boys earlier today and they seem to be alright with the arrangements. She is apartment hunting as we speak.
Hopefully things will start to work out. I want to thank all of you who where kind enough to share your thoughts, feelings and opinions with me. Even though I don’t know any of you personally I really have felt the warmth and peace that you get from sharing with friends that I haven’t felt in a long time.
Thank you all. If any of you plan a trip to Las Vegas and would like a tour guide give me a shout. Your friend,
AssBuster
[/quote]
I sincerely hope that this all works out for you and your family. This is a very tough road, but you have taken the first step in making the situation as workable as possible for everyone. Best of luck!
[quote]assbuster wrote:
…
I had planned a rather lengthy reply and justification but it appears my friends Northcott and Zap Branigan’s replies (although a tad harsher than if I had replied), are pretty good and on target.
Thank you and peace,
AssBuster[/quote]
Don’t mean to be harsh to anyone here. Just trying to be succinct.
Struggle through this. Take your time with things and they will get better.
Be polite and decent to the wife but make sure you cover your ass.
She may want an easy split but if she gets some lawyer talking in her ear you are going to have to watch yourself.
SO glad I came back to this thread and read all the way through! Assbuster, you did a right thing, taking her out and talking. Way to go. And so much better than letting yourself be walked on or finding ways to hurt her back.
You might live with someone else, but you ALWAYS have to live with yourself. You have my respect and admiration.
(But get yourself a good lawyer, and no matter how amicable she seems right now, please protect your rights.)
Ditto to the lawyer thing. As amicable as things may have seemed at dinner, it sounds like she’s got years of pent-up frustration there. Don’t take that too lightly. It won’t take much for a sleezy lawyer to nudge her onto a negative path.
Look out for yourself. Look out for your kids. Carry yourself with as much class as you can muster throughout the days to come. Good luck, and stay strong.
[quote]Northcott wrote:
You know, a lot of Brainfreez’s post struck me as being off on a few levels – just really didn’t jive with me. But I felt compelled to respond to this part.
brainfreez wrote:
b.) Maybe she makes fun of you to feel better about herself. If you loved her, you’d wouldn’t begrudge her that.
BULL.
SHIT.
It drives me mad when I see that kind of insanity promoted as a path to healthy relationships. “If you really loved them, you’d let them abuse you”. What the fuck?!?
[/quote]
Good point, but what’s the abuse? She sarcastically points out that he’s really muscular in public. As I explained, personally I wouldn’t take that all too hard. If she made fun of his penis being to short in public, ya I would call that abuse. If she made fun of him for being stupid in public, I’d call that abuse. Read the actual things she said, they weren’t that bad and if anyone said them about me I’d a.) be flattered b.) chuckle along with them.