Wife Not Supportive

Training Bodybuilding
61

[quote]Kailash wrote:
Did you know that in about 6 years time, every cell in your body will have died and all the matter have been replaced? And does not every thought you’ve ever had comes from the outside, either from direct stimuli or from the thoughts passed along by others? So where is your being?[/quote]

What about your imagination? What about the great thinkers of the world? Do you think every thought they had came from someone else? Thoughts and ideas have to start somewhere. What is direct stimuli anyway? Wouldn’t every single thing in the world somehow be considered direct stimuli? What does that prove?

[quote]To look for it is like removing the bark from a palm tree. Each layer is removed, but the next layer only reveals itself as the new outside layer. Inside, there is nothing.

Or cut into your own flesh (no, don’t really do it). Where you expected to reach the inside, you’ve only exposed new surfaces. You can cut and cut, but all you’ll ever find is the outside. There is no inside.[/quote]

Ok technically once the inside is exposed it becomes the outside, but then what does the old outside then become?

This makes the assumption that all atoms interact, which we know is not the truth. All atoms that have a similar purpose interact.

Speak for yourself. I’m the most important person I know…

:slight_smile: You obviously know way more about this crap than I do, but it was fun to pick it apart (even if my arguements are somewhat flawed…)

62

I just wanted to clear this up.

Never said it was, bro. I’ve seen a lot of guys fall into similar traps, and a couple fall into worse ones. They weren’t candy-asses, they weren’t guys who were inclined to take shit. I know exactly where you’re coming from.

We live in an era of significant and rapid social change. Unfortunately, expectations of society do not change at an equal rate. Women are now equals, and that’s a good thing.

The flipside is that men are still expected to adhere to behavioural standards that were designed to essentially protect women in a time when the weren’t equals. That expectation is even stronger depending on a man’s age, and whether or not he’s particularly “old school”.

A guy who believes in older, more “gentlemanly” behaviour is appreciated, but utterly screwed if the woman he’s dealing with is anything less than a lady. Even a guy who believes in less than gentlemanly behaviour but maintains certain old school standards can get screwed right quick.

It’s a trap. You can’t complain, 'cause then you’re less than the manly ideal. You can’t just sit there and take it, because then you’re less than the manly ideal. You can’t simply react as you would if a guy said those things, because a man doesn’t treat a woman like that. You can’t just walk out, because a man is supposed to be loyal and dependable – abandoning family is anathema.

That really leaves no wiggle room. So we have to change the paradigm. Change how we view the world and how we act in light of that view.

It’s not a lack of balls. It’s a rock and a hard place. Serve one image of manliness, and you betray another. That leaves only one thing to do: to choose which things you truly believe define you as a man, and work with those. Just bear in mind that the image you choose, your sons will likely repeat in years to come – subconsciously at the very least.

Best of luck, man. We’re pulling for you.

63

[quote]assbuster wrote:
You can count on it! BTW…I really like your avatar.[/quote]

Are you gay (NTTAWWT)? It’s a flower, dude! :slight_smile: But thanks, I think it’s a cool looking flower.

Is that you in your avatar? Or is it your goal physique? Either way, keep pumping; we need you to win that comp, for all of us.

64

Assbuster,

Usually when I see this sort of thread I think, ‘uhhh… too much information… keep it offline, stick to training.’ But reading your posts here I can only be impressed with integrity in a difficult situation. Kudos, and keep busting ass!

[quote]Kailash wrote:

And does not every thought you’ve ever had comes from the outside, either from direct stimuli or from the thoughts passed along by others? So where is your being?

[/quote]

No. My thoughts may very well be mine. Can physics ‘prove’ anything with regard to Being? Why should there be such a thing as ‘my being?’ Is my essence not perhaps A being rather than Being?

To reason from phenomena discovered by physics is bury something, do one’s best to forget that one has buried it, and then dig it up again and proclaim that one has made a great discovery: The account of Being one ‘discovers’ via science would simply be the account of Being that preceded science and dictated its progress in the first place. It is IMO more fruitful to interrogate the metaphysics that underlie modern natural science than to try to reason from this science’s ‘discoveries’ to an account of Being.

65

[quote]Miserere wrote:
assbuster wrote:
You can count on it! BTW…I really like your avatar.

Are you gay (NTTAWWT)? It’s a flower, dude! :slight_smile: But thanks, I think it’s a cool looking flower.

Is that you in your avatar? Or is it your goal physique? Either way, keep pumping; we need you to win that comp, for all of us.[/quote]

No dude, I’m not gay, LOL. I do like purty flowers tho, huh huh.

That’s my goal pic in the avatar, but I’m closing in on it. I actually look pretty close but have a tat on each upper arm. I’m on a buling cycle right now and my abs have nearly disappeared so I’m not taking any pics until I’m done with this cycle and start cutting in July.

My current stats are 48 y/o, 5’ 9", 223 lbs, Neck 19", Chest 50", R Arm 19", L Arm 18 1/2" Waist 34", R Thigh 27 1/2", L Thigh 27", R Calf 17", L Calf 17", BF approx 13%. All measurements are cold, flexed as of today 5/5/2006.

Bench 315 (due to rehabbing from a shoulder separation last yr, was 405), Barbell Curl 185, Back Squat 405, Deadlift 455. I guess I’m not too shabby for an old fart?

When I get my BF down below 10% again after this bulking cycle, I’ll probably start a training blog with my pics in case anyone’s interested.

AssBuster

66

[quote]Ross Hunt wrote:
Assbuster,

Usually when I see this sort of thread I think, ‘uhhh… too much information… keep it offline, stick to training.’ But reading your posts here I can only be impressed with integrity in a difficult situation. Kudos, and keep busting ass!

Kailash wrote:

And does not every thought you’ve ever had comes from the outside, either from direct stimuli or from the thoughts passed along by others? So where is your being?

No. My thoughts may very well be mine. Can physics ‘prove’ anything with regard to Being? Why should there be such a thing as ‘my being?’ Is my essence not perhaps A being rather than Being?

To reason from phenomena discovered by physics is bury something, do one’s best to forget that one has buried it, and then dig it up again and proclaim that one has made a great discovery: The account of Being one ‘discovers’ via science would simply be the account of Being that preceded science and dictated its progress in the first place. It is IMO more fruitful to interrogate the metaphysics that underlie modern natural science than to try to reason from this science’s ‘discoveries’ to an account of Being.[/quote]

Thank you for those kind words my friend.

I also have to say you are one deep bro. I enjoy your writing. I would enjoy chatting in person with you I’m sure. This is the kind of stuff we used to ponder back in the day when we had a joint or two in us, LOL

Peace,

A.B.

67

When I first started working out, my wife completely ignored it. When I started getting results, she once in a while would comment “nice job”. When I really starte getting results, she started saying “ew, don’t get too big” (there’s a too big??) – then something wierd happened. She let herself go to complete shit. She gained at least 60 pounds in the last two years, all fat. Meanwhile I went the other way, and now she’s as unsupportive as ever. Accuses me of wanting to cheat, bitches when I come home with a tub of protein, is pissed that I’m saving up for a hip sled…

I think it’s just pure jealousy. Stick with it and ignore her, she’s just trying to drag you down.

68

[quote]aelfwine wrote:
When I first started working out, my wife completely ignored it. When I started getting results, she once in a while would comment “nice job”. When I really starte getting results, she started saying “ew, don’t get too big” (there’s a too big??) – then something wierd happened. She let herself go to complete shit. She gained at least 60 pounds in the last two years, all fat. Meanwhile I went the other way, and now she’s as unsupportive as ever. Accuses me of wanting to cheat, bitches when I come home with a tub of protein, is pissed that I’m saving up for a hip sled…

I think it’s just pure jealousy. Stick with it and ignore her, she’s just trying to drag you down. [/quote]

HOLY SHIT! Sorry to say it, but welcome to the club. Is there like a secret society of ball busting she devils out there and our wives are local chapter presidents or something?

I can tell you this, if there’s ever another serious relationship in my life after this is over (and it is coming to a conclusion), she will already be a disciple of the fitness lifestyle. It will be a mandatory requirement for me to have anything more than a casual relationship with her.

69

AssBuster,
I just finished reading your posts on this thread and I’m floored. I really hope that everything works out for you and you could find happiness.

70

[quote]aelfwine wrote:
When I first started working out, my wife completely ignored it. When I started getting results, she once in a while would comment “nice job”. When I really starte getting results, she started saying “ew, don’t get too big” (there’s a too big??) – then something wierd happened. She let herself go to complete shit. She gained at least 60 pounds in the last two years, all fat. Meanwhile I went the other way, and now she’s as unsupportive as ever. Accuses me of wanting to cheat, bitches when I come home with a tub of protein, is pissed that I’m saving up for a hip sled…

I think it’s just pure jealousy. Stick with it and ignore her, she’s just trying to drag you down. [/quote]

I hope you guys don’t mind a vixen chiming in?

From a female perspective, it’s mainly cultural - the hot get the hotties, the flabby get the flabbies, it’s the natural order of the world. If you’re not as hot as your man then you either a) feel horribly guilty, then get jealous and resentful, and probably eat even more (if you can’t/won’t get off your fat rear) or b) you train with him and get hot together.

It’s easier to try and keep your man fat and miserable via emotional manipulation than to pick option b, put in the effort and make him proud of you.

Please guys, if any of your ladies hang that kind of evil on you for working out then either dump them pronto or make like assbuster here and go train harder! If I’m with a man then I’ll support him 100% in anything (healthy) that makes him happy, doesn’t matter if I’m not into it myself.

71

Dump your wife and go see a shrink.

72

[quote]assbuster wrote:
vroom wrote:
Assbuster,

I assume it wouldn’t by lying, so tell her you love her and want to be with her, but pack your bag and live in a hotel until she promises to respect you.

Next time she makes fun of you in public, pick up the car keys, go home, pack your shit and move out for a month.

Next time, two months. No freaking iffs, ands, buts or discussions. It is respect or nothing.

It’s not violent, it’s not a break-up, but you get away from some sarcastic snarky negative attitude. She learns she can’t push you around anymore.

Drop by the house, pick up the kids and go do things with them all the time. Just eat and sleep somewhere else. Tell them you still love each other, but that their mother has a habit of insulting you that you aren’t willing to accept anymore and that if they don’t understand, eventually they will.

Yeah, I’m single, can you tell?

P.S. If she respects you for a while… drink a few beers and give her some loving! :wink:

For a single guy you seem to have it going on. Thanks man for the advice and kind words.
[/quote]

Packing up and moving would probably screw you if she decided to serve divorce papers.

Hang in there a few more years until the kids are grown up.

Document the crap she does.

Then get a good lawyer.

73

[quote]venteuse wrote:
I hope you guys don’t mind a vixen chiming in?

From a female perspective, it’s mainly cultural - the hot get the hotties, the flabby get the flabbies, it’s the natural order of the world. If you’re not as hot as your man then you either a) feel horribly guilty, then get jealous and resentful, and probably eat even more (if you can’t/won’t get off your fat rear) or b) you train with him and get hot together.

It’s easier to try and keep your man fat and miserable via emotional manipulation than to pick option b, put in the effort and make him proud of you.

Please guys, if any of your ladies hang that kind of evil on you for working out then either dump them pronto or make like assbuster here and go train harder! If I’m with a man then I’ll support him 100% in anything (healthy) that makes him happy, doesn’t matter if I’m not into it myself.[/quote]

I not only don’t mind a T-Vixen’s point of view but welcome it. Thank you for your input and support.

Too bad you’re so far away, you sound like the kind of woman I’d like to know. If you ever come to the States and Las Vegas, NV please look me up. I’ll volunteer to be your tour guide.

AssBuster

74

I had a discussion with my wife regarding this. She stated that the gym and my job are higher priorities than her and my family. I have twin boys 21 months old. We moved to a new location, I have a new job. You can tell the stresses we’ve had.

I work long hours, but I workout mainly during the week, getting up early so it doesn’t interfere with family time. I actually told my boss at work that I need to get home at 5:30pm each night. This wasn’t received well.

I feel pressure at work, at home. I’m sure everyone else might be in similar circumstances. Any thoughts?

75

[quote]pja wrote:
Dump your wife and go see a shrink.[/quote]

Damn, you really picked your spot this time.

I actually agree…more or less.

76

[quote]ghost87 wrote:
I had a discussion with my wife regarding this. She stated that the gym and my job are higher priorities than her and my family. I have twin boys 21 months old. We moved to a new location, I have a new job. You can tell the stresses we’ve had.

I work long hours, but I workout mainly during the week, getting up early so it doesn’t interfere with family time. I actually told my boss at work that I need to get home at 5:30pm each night. This wasn’t received well.

I feel pressure at work, at home. I’m sure everyone else might be in similar circumstances. Any thoughts? [/quote]

I’d start looking for a new job.

It may take some time to find a good fit, but you should be able to find a job where you work more reasonable hours.

It’s all about priorities.

77

If a guy (or gal) posts a question seeking answers, and you feel like you can give him an answer, just give him the fucking answer without questioning his motives! I hate that shit! The guy is asking if anyone else’s wife is non-supportive of his workout goals; a perfectly legitimate question to an all-too common occurrence.

Don’t be an asshole and assume that HE’s the one making it out to be a bigger deal than what it is. How the fuck would you know???

78

Yeah, bro, the best thing you can do, as others better than I have earlier said, is include her in some part of your workout. Start out walking together after dinner or something. I’ve seen lots of people lose weight and tone up just from walking everyday for a couple months! Then take it from there.

And yeah, once you start buffing up and looking good, other chicks will be giving you attention. It’s just up to you to maintain your part of that marriage bargain you entered into.

79

[quote]hundfuhrer99 wrote:
it doesn’t even matter[/quote]

hundfuhrer99?

nice.

hund = cat

fuhrer = f*cker

99 = gayness on a scale of 1 to 100

(i do not know what one could do to be gayer, but apparently there is something)

80

JOG,

I train dogs for law enforcement.

hund = dog
fuhrer = leader

It’s short for diensthundfuhrer which, translated loosely, is Service dog leader.

I couldn’t think of anything else when creating a user name. Makes me look stupid.

You should quit making unfounded accusations. You just make yourself look stupid.