What Women Consider Bulky

imhungry · July 5, 2009, 12:03am

[quote]countingbeans wrote:
imhungry wrote:
countingbeans wrote:
AlisaV wrote:
or who’s all “What do YOU want, dear?” Give me something to work with! Have an opinion of your own! It’s okay if we disagree!

This is kind of off the wall, but…

For the love of God, when a dude asks you “Where do you want to go to eat?” Answer him!

We don’t ask this to kiss ass. We know what we want, but considering the last 35 times we asked you, you said “Whatever, I don’t care.” We always picked were we ate, and damn it I’m starting to feel bad, because you don’t seem to like BBQ as much as I do.

And I’m going to pick a steak house, BBQ joint or Mexican every time. I know you have a preference, make it known.

My parents used to have this dicussion every single time we went out for dinner.

It amused the hell out of me as a kid.

Now, they don’t have any problem with finding a place, since my mother has drained his soul from him as the years (50) drifted by… He’s lost his will to fight.

ha ha ha ha

I refuse to allow that to happen. I will fight FOREVER.

My wife calls me a bad influence all the time, because her father and uncle suddenly have balls again. I apparently showed them it’s okay to stand up to a woman in that family, because they suddenly do.[/quote]

That last part was tongue in cheek, mostly. He picks his fights, but takes more crap than he used to.

My mom IS the dominant of the two, easily, but it works for them. Hell, being married for 50 years is one hell of an accomplishment.

H_E_Pennypacker · July 4, 2009, 8:15pm

This forum, like most, is basically an echo chamber. Everyone here is going to agree with the general idea that women look better with some muscle. Of course, in the wider world, this is not really the case. Personally, I prefer Alba’s body - not that I’d ever be in a position to choose between them. I don’t think you should jump down someone’s throat for saying they prefer a less muscular body. Everyone has their own preferences. Theirs are heavily influence by the media, just like yours are heavily influenced by the gym/tmag.

debraD · July 4, 2009, 8:31pm

[quote]H.E. Pennypacker wrote:
This forum, like most, is basically an echo chamber. Everyone here is going to agree with the general idea that women look better with some muscle. Of course, in the wider world, this is not really the case. Personally, I prefer Alba’s body - not that I’d ever be in a position to choose between them. I don’t think you should jump down someone’s throat for saying they prefer a less muscular body. Everyone has their own preferences. Theirs are heavily influence by the media, just like yours are heavily influenced by the gym/tmag.[/quote]

I think the issue is the disconnect between what women think men prefer and what men might actually prefer. Surprising to me, Gina Carano has a large group of fans amongst the skinny fat men I work with. I personally thought she was hot before I ever lifted a weight but didn’t think most men would have.

AlisaV · July 4, 2009, 8:41pm

That’s absolutely true; people have different tastes, and always will.

The reason I don’t like the popular perception of women with muscle, though, is that I think it goes along with thinking that competence is somehow less desirable in women. I don’t want to put too much importance on physical preferences – you like what you like – but I don’t like to see girls shrink back from pushing themselves because they think it’s unattractive. The “not too bulky” aesthetic is a little like the physical equivalent of the idea that women shouldn’t be too smart or too career-focused. JPCleary’s post about wanting a woman who’s capable struck home to me – I want to be mentally and physically capable, and I’d much rather a guy want me stronger (in any area of life) than weaker. (Luckily my bf fits the bill perfectly.)

All that said, of course Jessica Alba is incredibly hot.

debraD · July 4, 2009, 8:49pm

Absolutely Alisa. It’s is much like when women play dumb. My experience has been that while some men actually respond well to women who do this, many more men are attracted to competence. Women seem to be unaware of this.

Professor_X · July 4, 2009, 9:05pm

[quote]winkroar3 wrote:
Professor X wrote:
winkroar3 wrote:
Most women would say this guy is too bulky. But I’m sure he has found a woman that is into muscular guys. She might even bitch if he gets to small for her liking. As for personality, do you want a buddy or a soul mate.

That picture is fake as hell. How does blatant photoshop get by so many people?

If you look at the shadows you can see it’s not retouched. One day you will see a guy like this and say WOW!
[/quote]

I already said, “WOW” at the realization that you exist. I have a JFK assassination video that needs your unmatched deductive skills.

josh86 · July 4, 2009, 9:15pm

[quote]wisefit wrote:
There are probably eight men in the weight room of my gym for every serious lifting female.
[/quote]

Hahahaha you think that’s bad? That’s some damn good ratios there…my gym is at LEAST 50 men in the gym to every female that actually lifts weights. I can count the number of females I’ve seen doing any real lifting on one hand.

I sure hope this changes when I switch and start working out at a more hardcore gym as of Monday.

winkroar3 · July 4, 2009, 9:33pm

[quote]Professor X wrote:
winkroar3 wrote:
Professor X wrote:
winkroar3 wrote:
Most women would say this guy is too bulky. But I’m sure he has found a woman that is into muscular guys. She might even bitch if he gets to small for her liking. As for personality, do you want a buddy or a soul mate.

That picture is fake as hell. How does blatant photoshop get by so many people?

If you look at the shadows you can see it’s not retouched. One day you will see a guy like this and say WOW!

I already said, “WOW” at the realization that you exist. I have a JFK assassination video that needs your unmatched deductive skills.
[/quote]

Well I do exist, and I don’t have to look a the photo. Our government and the Mob killed JFK.

josh86 · July 4, 2009, 9:52pm

[quote]imhungry wrote:
debraD wrote:
Also, every self-described ‘nice’ guy I’ve met has always been a passive aggressive creepy bastard with no backbone. Who also constantly complain that women prefer abusive assholes to nice guys. No, given a choice between two assholes, they prefer the upfront assholes to the shady backhanded assholes.

You’re absolutely right, Deb.

I’m usually described as a nice guy, but my ‘problem’ is that I have a dry and sarcastic sense of humor. I will often times act like the victim and that can come off as being passive-aggressive, which i’m not at all, but many guys are. It’s caused quite a few misunderstandings. I do it out of habit and I try to watch what I say, but I still manage to put my foot in my mouth a little too often with people who don’t know me well enough to know me better.

Another problem is that when I really like someone, i’ll compliment them pretty regularly and I think that it could cause them to think that i’m just blowing smoke up their ass or i’m not being sincere, when I honestly am. I’m trying to find the right balance of the two.

When they get to know me better and that i’m not just another asshole with an agenda, things get SO much easier.[/quote]

We are so alike imhungry

I definitely see myself as a “nice” guy toward women…but not in the pushover way. I never let a woman walk all over me and tell me what to do, yet I am the gentleman I was raised by my father to be. I compliment women that have my interest, open doors, all that stuff and just like you imhungry, I’ve had several women think my compliments were insincere for some reason. Pretty much any exgf I have has said I was very sweet, yet strong if that makes since.

However, I am also very blunt. All the sweet compliments and things I do aside, if someone (whether its a random person or a gf or a friend etc) does something that pisses me off or I think is wrong…I do not hesitate to call it strait out. And because of this I am called an asshole by people that don’t really know me that well, but anyone that does knows I just don’t play games. Its been an issue in past relationships…women are so used to dating pussy ass guys that will hold shit in and never call them out on things. I go pretty much the opposite and bring the issue to the surface and try to get it sorted out right away, before it causes me to lose interest in her.

H_E_Pennypacker · July 4, 2009, 9:48pm

H.E. Pennypacker wrote:
This forum, like most, is basically an echo chamber. Everyone here is going to agree with the general idea that women look better with some muscle. Of course, in the wider world, this is not really the case. Personally, I prefer Alba’s body - not that I’d ever be in a position to choose between them. I don’t think you should jump down someone’s throat for saying they prefer a less muscular body. Everyone has their own preferences. Theirs are heavily influence by the media, just like yours are heavily influenced by the gym/tmag.

I think the issue is the disconnect between what women think men prefer and what men might actually prefer. Surprising to me, Gina Carano has a large group of fans amongst the skinny fat men I work with. I personally thought she was hot before I ever lifted a weight but didn’t think most men would have.

Well, I think men take what they can get in life. I think women are far more likely to have a type than men. A lot of women have some laundry list of things they expect and want in a man. Whereas most guys want a variety of women. I find all kinds of women attractive.

Carano, body aside, has an amazing face, so that might explain some of the fans.

quidnunc · July 4, 2009, 10:39pm

[quote]
Well, considering the females I have to deal with regularly, I would say that someone like debraD is in the minority.[/quote]

As an aside, guys who call women “females” are usually creepy as hell.

conorh · July 5, 2009, 3:10am

[quote]josh86 wrote:
wisefit wrote:
There are probably eight men in the weight room of my gym for every serious lifting female.

Hahahaha you think that’s bad? That’s some damn good ratios there…my gym is at LEAST 50 men in the gym to every female that actually lifts weights. I can count the number of females I’ve seen doing any real lifting on one hand.

I sure hope this changes when I switch and start working out at a more hardcore gym as of Monday.
[/quote]

The weight room I train in has membership in the triple digits and maybe four women AT ALL. Then again, we have no cardio equipment.

imhungry · July 4, 2009, 11:38pm

[quote]josh86 wrote:
imhungry wrote:
debraD wrote:
Also, every self-described ‘nice’ guy I’ve met has always been a passive aggressive creepy bastard with no backbone. Who also constantly complain that women prefer abusive assholes to nice guys. No, given a choice between two assholes, they prefer the upfront assholes to the shady backhanded assholes.

You’re absolutely right, Deb.

I’m usually described as a nice guy, but my ‘problem’ is that I have a dry and sarcastic sense of humor. I will often times act like the victim and that can come off as being passive-aggressive, which i’m not at all, but many guys are. It’s caused quite a few misunderstandings. I do it out of habit and I try to watch what I say, but I still manage to put my foot in my mouth a little too often with people who don’t know me well enough to know me better.

Another problem is that when I really like someone, i’ll compliment them pretty regularly and I think that it could cause them to think that i’m just blowing smoke up their ass or i’m not being sincere, when I honestly am. I’m trying to find the right balance of the two.

When they get to know me better and that i’m not just another asshole with an agenda, things get SO much easier.

We are so alike imhungry

I definitely see myself as a “nice” guy toward women…but not in the pushover way. I never let a woman walk all over me and tell me what to do, yet I am the gentleman I was raised by my father to be. I compliment women that have my interest, open doors, all that stuff and just like you imhungry, I’ve had several women think my compliments were insincere for some reason. Pretty much any exgf I have has said I was very sweet, yet strong if that makes since.

However, I am also very blunt. All the sweet compliments and things I do aside, if someone (whether its a random person or a gf or a friend etc) does something that pisses me off or I think is wrong…I do not hesitate to call it strait out. And because of this I am called an asshole by people that don’t really know me that well, but anyone that does knows I just don’t play games. Its been an issue in past relationships…women are so used to dating pussy ass guys that will hold shit in and never call them out on things. I go pretty much the opposite and bring the issue to the surface and try to get it sorted out right away, before it causes me to lose interest in her.[/quote]

Yeah, it would seem that we are alike, huh? I can be very blunt, also but, it’s usually something that’s important to me and I can’t stand beating around the bush. I don’t want there to be any guess work if I can help it.

The other thing is, that so many women that i’ve been with have been scewed over severely and have their walls up, so that it takes a lot of work to try and prove that you’re not “that guy”.

Listen, i’m FAR from perfect, but I can honestly say that I try to do the right things and I always have the best intentions, even though it doesn’t always work out that way.

josh86 · July 4, 2009, 11:42pm

[quote]conorh wrote:
josh86 wrote:
wisefit wrote:
There are probably eight men in the weight room of my gym for every serious lifting female.

Hahahaha you think that’s bad? That’s some damn good ratios there…my gym is at LEAST 50 men in the gym to every female that actually lifts weights. I can count the number of females I’ve seen doing any real lifting on one hand.

I sure hope this changes when I switch and start working out at a more hardcore gym as of Monday.

The weight room I train in has membership in the triple digits and maybe four women AT ALL. Then again, we have no cardio equipment.
[/quote]

This is a worry I have for the new gym I’m starting at…its much more serious lifter oriented. TONS of lifting equipment and the cardio area is like 1/3rd the size of the lifting area and I have a feeling I’m either going to find more women that are serious about training which would be AWESOME for me as I cant find any currently…or I’ll just see less women in general.

ukrainian · July 4, 2009, 11:52pm

[quote]quidnunc wrote:

Well, considering the females I have to deal with regularly, I would say that someone like debraD is in the minority.

As an aside, guys who call women “females” are usually creepy as hell. [/quote]

Maybe I should have rethought my word choice.

Chrysalis · July 4, 2009, 11:49pm

[quote]conorh wrote:
josh86 wrote:
wisefit wrote:
There are probably eight men in the weight room of my gym for every serious lifting female.

Hahahaha you think that’s bad? That’s some damn good ratios there…my gym is at LEAST 50 men in the gym to every female that actually lifts weights. I can count the number of females I’ve seen doing any real lifting on one hand.

I sure hope this changes when I switch and start working out at a more hardcore gym as of Monday.

The weight room I train in has membership in the triple digits and maybe four women AT ALL. Then again, we have no cardio equipment.
[/quote]

My gym has a ratio of 2:1 women to men. Of course it also has a membership of three. Oh, and is in our garage.

Seriously, though I am very new to lifting, I have already enountered that stereotype of the “bulky” woman. I was telling a male friend of mine, who spends a fair amount of time in the gym, about what lifts I was doing and the amounts I was lifting.

Nothing much, of course, since I am a complete newbie. I was telling him that I was enjoying how firm and developed my muscles are getting, even though I have only been at this for a short time. His words to me, rather than encouraging, were, “Don’t get too bulky, now…”

My sister, who is ten years my junior, also said to me that she can’t lift much because she gets “too muscular.” In my sister’s case, she is a former gymnast, and did develop strong, beautiful (in my opinion) legs and arms.

She was a little powerhouse, but was constantly nagged by her coach that she was “too big.” She developed anorexia. This is the extreme end of the obsession with “thin.” She was an athlete, needed strong muscles and a strong body to perform her sport, but was “too fat” by the standards of the sport.

It is very sad, that appearance, not health is not the primary concern of the majority of people. I have been doing a lot of research into dementia in the elderly because my mom is starting to have some cognitive problems. I have found a lot of articles expounding the health benefits of lifting, especially for women.

Improvements in immune systems, bone density, balance, etc. The most surprising, to me, was a study of elderly people in Canada,I think. The subjects were in a fall prevention program. These were elderly people who had had falls and injuries. They were put on a course of weight lifting.

Their balance and strength improved, as posited, but across the board, the subjects’ cognitive abilities improved by an average of 14%! This is amazing, to me. Now if I could convince my mom to hit the gym with us…

Edited to add: Luckily for me, my boyfriend is of the “more muscles the better” mindset so I do not have to worry that my “bulk” will turn him off. Quite the opposite!

conorh · July 5, 2009, 12:02am

[quote]Chrysalis wrote:
conorh wrote:
josh86 wrote:
wisefit wrote:
There are probably eight men in the weight room of my gym for every serious lifting female.

Hahahaha you think that’s bad? That’s some damn good ratios there…my gym is at LEAST 50 men in the gym to every female that actually lifts weights. I can count the number of females I’ve seen doing any real lifting on one hand.

I sure hope this changes when I switch and start working out at a more hardcore gym as of Monday.

The weight room I train in has membership in the triple digits and maybe four women AT ALL. Then again, we have no cardio equipment.

My gym has a ratio of 2:1 women to men. Of course it also has a membership of three. Oh, and is in our garage.

Seriously, though I am very new to lifting, I have already enountered that stereotype of the “bulky” woman. I was telling a male friend of mine, who spends a fair amount of time in the gym, about what lifts I was doing and the amounts I was lifting. Nothing much, of course, since I am a complete newbie. I was telling him that I was enjoying how firm and developed my muscles are getting, even though I have only been at this for a short time. His words to me, rather than encouraging, were, “Don’t get too bulky, now…”

My sister, who is ten years my junior, also said to me that she can’t lift much because she gets “too muscular.” In my sister’s case, she is a former gymnast, and did develop strong, beautiful (in my opinion) legs and arms. She was a little powerhouse, but was constantly nagged by her coach that she was “too big.” She developed anorexia. This is the extreme end of the obsession with “thin.” She was an athlete, needed strong muscles and a strong body to perform her sport, but was “too fat” by the standards of the sport.

It is very sad, that appearance, not health is not the primary concern of the majority of people. I have been doing a lot of research into dementia in the elderly because my mom is starting to have some cognitive problems. I have found a lot of articles expounding the health benefits of lifting, especially for women. Improvements in immune systems, bone density, balance, etc. The most surprising, to me, was a study of elderly people in Canada,I think. The subjects were in a fall prevention program. These were elderly people who had had falls and injuries. They were put on a course of weight lifting. Their balance and strength improved, as posited, but across the board, the subjects’ cognitive abilities improved by an average of 14%! This is amazing, to me. Now if I could convince my mom to hit the gym with us…

Edited to add: Luckily for me, my boyfriend is of the “more muscles the better” mindset so I do not have to worry that my “bulk” will turn him off. Quite the opposite![/quote]

That’s really sad about your sister. Our gym is just across the building from where our university gymnasts train/ Luckily they even have to pass by to get to their locker rooms. College-aged female gymnasts are incredibly hot; sweet curves, rockin’ lower bodies…

Anyway…

Chrysalis · July 5, 2009, 12:07am

[quote]conorh wrote:
Chrysalis wrote:
conorh wrote:
josh86 wrote:
wisefit wrote:
There are probably eight men in the weight room of my gym for every serious lifting female.