What Women Consider Bulky

Off Topic
121

[quote]LiveFromThe781 wrote:
sluicy wrote:
debraD wrote:
ukrainian wrote:
LiveFromThe781 wrote:
ukrainian wrote:
LiveFromThe781 wrote:

right, which is why im “average” because im extremely good looking but have an awful personality.
.

Well, I guess you are lucky because, once (most) girls start saying how nice you are, then you are fucked and will never get anywhere.

no, because the girls think im an asshole BEFORE i sleep with them. i need to learn to pretend to be nice for like 2 hours or a week, depending, and then i can be ‘myself’ after i dont ever have to speak to them again.

I’ve been nice to plenty of girls. Never got me anywhere.

Not to totally agree with you but there is something about a ‘nice’ guy that gets on my nerves. It’s usually excessive, overly saccharin and transparent and I often find I don’t trust them. I also hate Wayne Gretzky though.

I agree with Debra. Live, your “awful personality” issue may just be that you think you are “extremely good looking.” Hubris is terribly off-putting. :slight_smile:

thanks for calling me ugly. wow
[/quote]

Oh geez, I didn’t call you ugly. What I said has nothing to do with what you actually look like. I just meant that for someone to state “Hey, I’m so hot” in itself is off-putting. Don’t take it personally.

122

[quote]sluicy wrote:
LiveFromThe781 wrote:
sluicy wrote:
debraD wrote:
ukrainian wrote:
LiveFromThe781 wrote:
ukrainian wrote:
LiveFromThe781 wrote:

right, which is why im “average” because im extremely good looking but have an awful personality.
.

Well, I guess you are lucky because, once (most) girls start saying how nice you are, then you are fucked and will never get anywhere.

no, because the girls think im an asshole BEFORE i sleep with them. i need to learn to pretend to be nice for like 2 hours or a week, depending, and then i can be ‘myself’ after i dont ever have to speak to them again.

I’ve been nice to plenty of girls. Never got me anywhere.

Not to totally agree with you but there is something about a ‘nice’ guy that gets on my nerves. It’s usually excessive, overly saccharin and transparent and I often find I don’t trust them. I also hate Wayne Gretzky though.

I agree with Debra. Live, your “awful personality” issue may just be that you think you are “extremely good looking.” Hubris is terribly off-putting. :slight_smile:

thanks for calling me ugly. wow

Oh geez, I didn’t call you ugly. What I said has nothing to do with what you actually look like. I just meant that for someone to state “Hey, I’m so hot” in itself is off-putting. Don’t take it personally. [/quote]

Nope, you called him ugly. Don’t try backpeddling your way out of this, sluicy. You’re vicious.

123

[quote]imhungry wrote:
sluicy wrote:
LiveFromThe781 wrote:
sluicy wrote:
debraD wrote:
ukrainian wrote:
LiveFromThe781 wrote:
ukrainian wrote:
LiveFromThe781 wrote:

right, which is why im “average” because im extremely good looking but have an awful personality.
.

Well, I guess you are lucky because, once (most) girls start saying how nice you are, then you are fucked and will never get anywhere.

no, because the girls think im an asshole BEFORE i sleep with them. i need to learn to pretend to be nice for like 2 hours or a week, depending, and then i can be ‘myself’ after i dont ever have to speak to them again.

I’ve been nice to plenty of girls. Never got me anywhere.

Not to totally agree with you but there is something about a ‘nice’ guy that gets on my nerves. It’s usually excessive, overly saccharin and transparent and I often find I don’t trust them. I also hate Wayne Gretzky though.

I agree with Debra. Live, your “awful personality” issue may just be that you think you are “extremely good looking.” Hubris is terribly off-putting. :slight_smile:

thanks for calling me ugly. wow

Oh geez, I didn’t call you ugly. What I said has nothing to do with what you actually look like. I just meant that for someone to state “Hey, I’m so hot” in itself is off-putting. Don’t take it personally.

Nope, you called him ugly. Don’t try backpeddling your way out of this, sluicy. You’re vicious.[/quote]

Oh yeah, that’s me, I’m so the viciousest person on earth.
///triple sarcasm

124

[quote]sluicy wrote:
imhungry wrote:
sluicy wrote:
LiveFromThe781 wrote:
sluicy wrote:
debraD wrote:
ukrainian wrote:
LiveFromThe781 wrote:
ukrainian wrote:
LiveFromThe781 wrote:

right, which is why im “average” because im extremely good looking but have an awful personality.
.

Well, I guess you are lucky because, once (most) girls start saying how nice you are, then you are fucked and will never get anywhere.

no, because the girls think im an asshole BEFORE i sleep with them. i need to learn to pretend to be nice for like 2 hours or a week, depending, and then i can be ‘myself’ after i dont ever have to speak to them again.

I’ve been nice to plenty of girls. Never got me anywhere.

Not to totally agree with you but there is something about a ‘nice’ guy that gets on my nerves. It’s usually excessive, overly saccharin and transparent and I often find I don’t trust them. I also hate Wayne Gretzky though.

I agree with Debra. Live, your “awful personality” issue may just be that you think you are “extremely good looking.” Hubris is terribly off-putting. :slight_smile:

thanks for calling me ugly. wow

Oh geez, I didn’t call you ugly. What I said has nothing to do with what you actually look like. I just meant that for someone to state “Hey, I’m so hot” in itself is off-putting. Don’t take it personally.

Nope, you called him ugly. Don’t try backpeddling your way out of this, sluicy. You’re vicious.

Oh yeah, that’s me, I’m so the viciousest person on earth.
///triple sarcasm[/quote]

“viciousest”??? Awesome new word!!

You do know that Live was just being his dry-humored self, right?

I guess I shouldn’t point out other people’s posts when I wasn’t the one being quoted, huh?

125

[quote]imhungry wrote:

I’m usually described as a nice guy, but my ‘problem’ is that I have a dry and sarcastic sense of humor. I will often times act like the victim and that can come off as being passive-aggressive, which i’m not at all, but many guys are. It’s caused quite a few misunderstandings. I do it out of habit and I try to watch what I say, but I still manage to put my foot in my mouth a little too often with people who don’t know me well enough to know me better.

josh86 wrote:

However, I am also very blunt. All the sweet compliments and things I do aside, if someone (whether its a random person or a gf or a friend etc) does something that pisses me off or I think is wrong…I do not hesitate to call it strait out. And because of this I am called an asshole by people that don’t really know me that well, but anyone that does knows I just don’t play games. Its been an issue in past relationships…women are so used to dating pussy ass guys that will hold shit in and never call them out on things. I go pretty much the opposite and bring the issue to the surface and try to get it sorted out right away, before it causes me to lose interest in her.

Yeah, it would seem that we are alike, huh? I can be very blunt, also but, it’s usually something that’s important to me and I can’t stand beating around the bush. I don’t want there to be any guess work if I can help it.

[/quote]

These are some similar traits to my husband’s. Yet I’ve had a female acquaintaince worry that he is abusive and a male client at our old business confront me about his possible “anger issues.” In both cases my gut reaction was just to laugh.

126

[quote]imhungry wrote:
sluicy wrote:
imhungry wrote:
sluicy wrote:
LiveFromThe781 wrote:
sluicy wrote:
debraD wrote:
ukrainian wrote:
LiveFromThe781 wrote:
ukrainian wrote:
LiveFromThe781 wrote:

right, which is why im “average” because im extremely good looking but have an awful personality.
.

Well, I guess you are lucky because, once (most) girls start saying how nice you are, then you are fucked and will never get anywhere.

no, because the girls think im an asshole BEFORE i sleep with them. i need to learn to pretend to be nice for like 2 hours or a week, depending, and then i can be ‘myself’ after i dont ever have to speak to them again.

I’ve been nice to plenty of girls. Never got me anywhere.

Not to totally agree with you but there is something about a ‘nice’ guy that gets on my nerves. It’s usually excessive, overly saccharin and transparent and I often find I don’t trust them. I also hate Wayne Gretzky though.

I agree with Debra. Live, your “awful personality” issue may just be that you think you are “extremely good looking.” Hubris is terribly off-putting. :slight_smile:

thanks for calling me ugly. wow

Oh geez, I didn’t call you ugly. What I said has nothing to do with what you actually look like. I just meant that for someone to state “Hey, I’m so hot” in itself is off-putting. Don’t take it personally.

Nope, you called him ugly. Don’t try backpeddling your way out of this, sluicy. You’re vicious.

Oh yeah, that’s me, I’m so the viciousest person on earth.
///triple sarcasm

“viciousest”??? Awesome new word!!

You do know that Live was just being his dry-humored self, right?

I guess I shouldn’t point out other people’s posts when I wasn’t the one being quoted, huh?[/quote]

No, you probably should, because in addition to being the unviciousest person I am also still in my Interwebz Relations 101 class.

127

[quote]sluicy wrote:
imhungry wrote:

I’m usually described as a nice guy, but my ‘problem’ is that I have a dry and sarcastic sense of humor. I will often times act like the victim and that can come off as being passive-aggressive, which i’m not at all, but many guys are. It’s caused quite a few misunderstandings. I do it out of habit and I try to watch what I say, but I still manage to put my foot in my mouth a little too often with people who don’t know me well enough to know me better.

josh86 wrote:

However, I am also very blunt. All the sweet compliments and things I do aside, if someone (whether its a random person or a gf or a friend etc) does something that pisses me off or I think is wrong…I do not hesitate to call it strait out. And because of this I am called an asshole by people that don’t really know me that well, but anyone that does knows I just don’t play games. Its been an issue in past relationships…women are so used to dating pussy ass guys that will hold shit in and never call them out on things. I go pretty much the opposite and bring the issue to the surface and try to get it sorted out right away, before it causes me to lose interest in her.

Yeah, it would seem that we are alike, huh? I can be very blunt, also but, it’s usually something that’s important to me and I can’t stand beating around the bush. I don’t want there to be any guess work if I can help it.

These are some similar traits to my husband’s. Yet I’ve had a female acquaintaince worry that he is abusive and a male client at our old business confront me about his possible “anger issues.” In both cases my gut reaction was just to laugh. [/quote]

Are you serious? How well do these female aquaintences know you?

It would seem to me that it’s the most mature way to be, as long as the delivery isn’t too abrasive.

It’s annoying as hell, when you’re doing what’s right, but people peceive it as being something negative.

128

I definitely think this article reflects reality – in fact, I think that most women who talk about getting “toned” don’t actually want to “tone” at all. They want to spot reduce. However, they talk about “toning” as a convenient fiction since they want to believe that there are special exercises that will make jiggly parts firm.

I think that’s how this silly toned-vs-bulky dichotomy got started; women who don’t want muscle AT ALL trying to confabulate some way that they could achieve the body they want without having to lose weight all over (or get lipo).

I hear it from girl friends all the time…“Oh, I don’t think I need to lose weight, I just want to tone!” “I don’t want to diet or do cardio, I just want to tone my upper arms and the backs of my thighs!”.

129

[quote]sluicy wrote:
imhungry wrote:

I’m usually described as a nice guy, but my ‘problem’ is that I have a dry and sarcastic sense of humor. I will often times act like the victim and that can come off as being passive-aggressive, which i’m not at all, but many guys are. It’s caused quite a few misunderstandings. I do it out of habit and I try to watch what I say, but I still manage to put my foot in my mouth a little too often with people who don’t know me well enough to know me better.

josh86 wrote:

However, I am also very blunt. All the sweet compliments and things I do aside, if someone (whether its a random person or a gf or a friend etc) does something that pisses me off or I think is wrong…I do not hesitate to call it strait out. And because of this I am called an asshole by people that don’t really know me that well, but anyone that does knows I just don’t play games. Its been an issue in past relationships…women are so used to dating pussy ass guys that will hold shit in and never call them out on things. I go pretty much the opposite and bring the issue to the surface and try to get it sorted out right away, before it causes me to lose interest in her.

Yeah, it would seem that we are alike, huh? I can be very blunt, also but, it’s usually something that’s important to me and I can’t stand beating around the bush. I don’t want there to be any guess work if I can help it.

These are some similar traits to my husband’s. Yet I’ve had a female acquaintaince worry that he is abusive and a male client at our old business confront me about his possible “anger issues.” In both cases my gut reaction was just to laugh. [/quote]

That is HILARIOUS because…my previous relationship was with a co-worker (bad idea but it all ended decently so its all good now that its over) and there were some rumors from some gossip whore ladies that I seemed abusive. I think this stemmed from the fact that her and I used to talk shit to each other and maybe people couldn’t tell we were joking? lol

130

[quote]sluicy wrote:
imhungry wrote:

I’m usually described as a nice guy, but my ‘problem’ is that I have a dry and sarcastic sense of humor. I will often times act like the victim and that can come off as being passive-aggressive, which i’m not at all, but many guys are. It’s caused quite a few misunderstandings. I do it out of habit and I try to watch what I say, but I still manage to put my foot in my mouth a little too often with people who don’t know me well enough to know me better.

josh86 wrote:

However, I am also very blunt. All the sweet compliments and things I do aside, if someone (whether its a random person or a gf or a friend etc) does something that pisses me off or I think is wrong…I do not hesitate to call it strait out. And because of this I am called an asshole by people that don’t really know me that well, but anyone that does knows I just don’t play games. Its been an issue in past relationships…women are so used to dating pussy ass guys that will hold shit in and never call them out on things. I go pretty much the opposite and bring the issue to the surface and try to get it sorted out right away, before it causes me to lose interest in her.

Yeah, it would seem that we are alike, huh? I can be very blunt, also but, it’s usually something that’s important to me and I can’t stand beating around the bush. I don’t want there to be any guess work if I can help it.

These are some similar traits to my husband’s. Yet I’ve had a female acquaintaince worry that he is abusive and a male client at our old business confront me about his possible “anger issues.” In both cases my gut reaction was just to laugh. [/quote]

wait you have a husband? this conversation is over.

131

[quote]josh86 wrote:
sluicy wrote:
imhungry wrote:

I’m usually described as a nice guy, but my ‘problem’ is that I have a dry and sarcastic sense of humor. I will often times act like the victim and that can come off as being passive-aggressive, which i’m not at all, but many guys are. It’s caused quite a few misunderstandings. I do it out of habit and I try to watch what I say, but I still manage to put my foot in my mouth a little too often with people who don’t know me well enough to know me better.

josh86 wrote:

However, I am also very blunt. All the sweet compliments and things I do aside, if someone (whether its a random person or a gf or a friend etc) does something that pisses me off or I think is wrong…I do not hesitate to call it strait out. And because of this I am called an asshole by people that don’t really know me that well, but anyone that does knows I just don’t play games. Its been an issue in past relationships…women are so used to dating pussy ass guys that will hold shit in and never call them out on things. I go pretty much the opposite and bring the issue to the surface and try to get it sorted out right away, before it causes me to lose interest in her.

Yeah, it would seem that we are alike, huh? I can be very blunt, also but, it’s usually something that’s important to me and I can’t stand beating around the bush. I don’t want there to be any guess work if I can help it.

These are some similar traits to my husband’s. Yet I’ve had a female acquaintaince worry that he is abusive and a male client at our old business confront me about his possible “anger issues.” In both cases my gut reaction was just to laugh.

That is HILARIOUS because…my previous relationship was with a co-worker (bad idea but it all ended decently so its all good now that its over) and there were some rumors from some gossip whore ladies that I seemed abusive. I think this stemmed from the fact that her and I used to talk shit to each other and maybe people couldn’t tell we were joking? lol[/quote]

Yeah, we used to heckle each other in front of people. It was purely in fun and we knew what areas were fair game and what weren’t. People reacted so negatively we quit except with close friends. Now after a few years we don’t really care what people think. It’s too boring.

132

[quote]imhungry wrote:
sluicy wrote:
imhungry wrote:

I’m usually described as a nice guy, but my ‘problem’ is that I have a dry and sarcastic sense of humor. I will often times act like the victim and that can come off as being passive-aggressive, which i’m not at all, but many guys are. It’s caused quite a few misunderstandings. I do it out of habit and I try to watch what I say, but I still manage to put my foot in my mouth a little too often with people who don’t know me well enough to know me better.

josh86 wrote:

However, I am also very blunt. All the sweet compliments and things I do aside, if someone (whether its a random person or a gf or a friend etc) does something that pisses me off or I think is wrong…I do not hesitate to call it strait out. And because of this I am called an asshole by people that don’t really know me that well, but anyone that does knows I just don’t play games. Its been an issue in past relationships…women are so used to dating pussy ass guys that will hold shit in and never call them out on things. I go pretty much the opposite and bring the issue to the surface and try to get it sorted out right away, before it causes me to lose interest in her.

Yeah, it would seem that we are alike, huh? I can be very blunt, also but, it’s usually something that’s important to me and I can’t stand beating around the bush. I don’t want there to be any guess work if I can help it.

These are some similar traits to my husband’s. Yet I’ve had a female acquaintaince worry that he is abusive and a male client at our old business confront me about his possible “anger issues.” In both cases my gut reaction was just to laugh.

Are you serious? How well do these female aquaintences know you?

It would seem to me that it’s the most mature way to be, as long as the delivery isn’t too abrasive.

It’s annoying as hell, when you’re doing what’s right, but people peceive it as being something negative.[/quote]

The girl was a friend I’d met a litte while before I met N. I thought we were pretty close. Then N. and I got more serious and I hate to sound catty, but part of what she said was out of resentment (he agrees). Part of it was from the fact that he just doesn’t hide when he is upset. He does have more of a “temper” if you will (I hate that term, because it implies something negative) or a lower tolerance for situations/people he disagrees with than a lot of other guys, but if a situation upsets him so much that he feels himself unable to deal with it rationally he will leave; however, I think that the fact that that COULD occur made some people uncomfortable, as if men are expected to be absolutely even tempered at all times, and if they’re NOT, that instantly flags them as unstable and out of control. Does that make sense?

Again, like I said, I was rather surprised in both situations. I would hope if he’s upset he expresses it. One of the things I appreciate about men is the lack of drama. If there’s tension, you guys duke it out and go back to being friends. I wish I could have that with my girlfriends.

133

[quote]LiveFromThe781 wrote:
sluicy wrote:
imhungry wrote:

I’m usually described as a nice guy, but my ‘problem’ is that I have a dry and sarcastic sense of humor. I will often times act like the victim and that can come off as being passive-aggressive, which i’m not at all, but many guys are. It’s caused quite a few misunderstandings. I do it out of habit and I try to watch what I say, but I still manage to put my foot in my mouth a little too often with people who don’t know me well enough to know me better.

josh86 wrote:

However, I am also very blunt. All the sweet compliments and things I do aside, if someone (whether its a random person or a gf or a friend etc) does something that pisses me off or I think is wrong…I do not hesitate to call it strait out. And because of this I am called an asshole by people that don’t really know me that well, but anyone that does knows I just don’t play games. Its been an issue in past relationships…women are so used to dating pussy ass guys that will hold shit in and never call them out on things. I go pretty much the opposite and bring the issue to the surface and try to get it sorted out right away, before it causes me to lose interest in her.

Yeah, it would seem that we are alike, huh? I can be very blunt, also but, it’s usually something that’s important to me and I can’t stand beating around the bush. I don’t want there to be any guess work if I can help it.

These are some similar traits to my husband’s. Yet I’ve had a female acquaintaince worry that he is abusive and a male client at our old business confront me about his possible “anger issues.” In both cases my gut reaction was just to laugh.

wait you have a husband? this conversation is over. [/quote]

I thought it was over when I called you ugly?

134

[quote]floridagirl wrote:
I definitely think this article reflects reality – in fact, I think that most women who talk about getting “toned” don’t actually want to “tone” at all. They want to spot reduce. However, they talk about “toning” as a convenient fiction since they want to believe that there are special exercises that will make jiggly parts firm.

I think that’s how this silly toned-vs-bulky dichotomy got started; women who don’t want muscle AT ALL trying to confabulate some way that they could achieve the body they want without having to lose weight all over (or get lipo).

I hear it from girl friends all the time…“Oh, I don’t think I need to lose weight, I just want to tone!” “I don’t want to diet or do cardio, I just want to tone my upper arms and the backs of my thighs!”. [/quote]

So true. How do you want to obtain results from a client who comes and say they’re not interested in a diet since they already “eat well” despite their rolls of fat, and don’t wanna get to big because of the weights? Go run yourself to oblivion on the threadmill, hon!

Fortunately at the gym I work at, I now have a fairly well-established reputation, so I mostly get guys who want some serious strenght training or women who are ready to sweat.

Funny story: one of my female client gives her all when training with me. She usually ends our sessions so drenched in sweat people ask me what she’s training for, like I want to turn her into an athlete… Sad to say, those inquiries always come from the fat housewives who train with the pink and neon plastic weights and have the same shape despite 10+ years in the gym