strong women attract strong men
[quote]machiajelly wrote:
Too bulky? (Refer to: HOT)[/quote]
People think that’s bulky? Have they never seen a fuckin female athlete?
Personally, I really don’t like when girls have arms that are completely thin and flat with no muscular definition whatsoever. They look so frail and unnatural. Like the bottom right picture in the “not bulky” part of the OP’s link.
[quote]debraD wrote:
I can relate to what you are saying Alisa (and no you are not a buffalo!) That is how many women think, but on the other hand a lot of women compliment me on my arms and legs and ask me what I’m doing. Their eyes glaze over when I start to tell them though! I am self-conscious about my arms these days but I don’t think I actually need to be.
Mind you I’m sure there are regional differences in what’s socially acceptable or desirable and I’m in a region that is big on fitness. When I visited my family back east recently I stood out a lot more and got more negative remarks. But that’s also because the women in my family are catty bitches lol.[/quote]
I just started strength training this past week. There isn’t a family member (female side) that is supportive. From my sister to my mother to my godmother you name it. They don’t understand why I would want to lift weights. As Alisa said, they want me to continue to do endless cardio and eat hardly anything. I guess thin is in and has always been.
The trainer who started to help me is in really good shape and she gets looks from both sides. She once told me about someone who told her to get off the ‘roids because she was big (she is all 5’ 4" at 115 lbs) and then are other people who look at her and really like it.
[quote]w00tage wrote:
Professor X wrote:
It still is cool to be big. I know the responses I get confirm that. I think it also depends on where you live and even ethnicity.
I agree.
I think the perception of muscular has changed dramatically over the last 10 (?) years.Ã? I don’t really know, I’m not old enough. I partially blame television though.
I grew up watching the action movies with Stallone, Schwarzenegger, and other guys like that. Those movies are rarely ever on TV anymore, and often criticized as being “ridiculously stupid” among other things. I used to watch an action movie like that every night on TV, then they just stopped… almost completely. Movies these days features guys like LaBuff and the-spiderman-guy, and so that has become the new ideal. I really appreciated the making of the new Rambo, regardless of what you think of the movie, it’s nice to see it hasn’t died out completely, YET.
I’ve been looking recently, and in the movies I’ve watched, there are essentially no big guys at all, where as they used to be full of them.[/quote]
Hell yeah man, I grew up watching Stallone and Schwarzenegger all the time with my dad. And for the record, the new Rambo fucking kicked ass. I’m going to watch it again this weekend now.
[quote]fn wrote:
debraD wrote:
I can relate to what you are saying Alisa (and no you are not a buffalo!) That is how many women think, but on the other hand a lot of women compliment me on my arms and legs and ask me what I’m doing. Their eyes glaze over when I start to tell them though! I am self-conscious about my arms these days but I don’t think I actually need to be.
Mind you I’m sure there are regional differences in what’s socially acceptable or desirable and I’m in a region that is big on fitness. When I visited my family back east recently I stood out a lot more and got more negative remarks. But that’s also because the women in my family are catty bitches lol.
I just started strength training this past week. There isn’t a family member (female side) that is supportive. From my sister to my mother to my godmother you name it. They don’t understand why I would want to lift weights. As Alisa said, they want me to continue to do endless cardio and eat hardly anything. I guess thin is in and has always been.
The trainer who started to help me is in really good shape and she gets looks from both sides. She once told me about someone who told her to get off the ‘roids because she was big (she is all 5’ 4" at 115 lbs) and then are other people who look at her and really like it. [/quote]
This is why I’m glad I don’t associate with the women in my family. They are awful! But they are out of shape, unhealthy, unhappy people who are miserable. The women I do know outside of my family as friends and professionally are a different breed who are secure, fit and successful and have no such nastiness. Some close friends have shown concern at my bodyfat being low but that’s about it. But there is also the regional thing. My family is in the east and I am in the west. Things are very different out here.
I do expend too much energy worrying about looking bulky, but it is deeply ingrained to want to be feminine. I am rather assertive and independent in my life and in every other regard I’ve never bothered about a lack of femininity but when it comes to physical appearance I get hung up on it. Apparently not so much that I didn’t pick up weights but it does still nag at me.
Personally speaking it really comes down to worrying what men think, even though I shouldn’t care. The women (outside my family) are generally positive.
I’m in a smallish city in British Columbia. In Canada, BC has the lowest rates of obesity I believe and I can see the difference when I go to cities in the east. In not just the shape people are in but the amount of physical activity I see going on around me.
[quote]JPCleary wrote:
debraD wrote:
I can relate to what you are saying Alisa (and no you are not a buffalo!) That is how many women think, but on the other hand a lot of women compliment me on my arms and legs and ask me what I’m doing. Their eyes glaze over when I start to tell them though! I am self-conscious about my arms these days but I don’t think I actually need to be.
Mind you I’m sure there are regional differences in what’s socially acceptable or desirable and I’m in a region that is big on fitness. When I visited my family back east recently I stood out a lot more and got more negative remarks. But that’s also because the women in my family are catty bitches lol.
Where are you living now, Debra?
My wife and I grew up in the southeast and have come to the conclusion that we are ready to move away from the land of fried food and rocking porches. We think we have settled on the Denver area.
I am not surprised by the results of that poll. I don’t agree with what the mainstream considers bulky, but that doesn’t surprise me, either. I think Alisa is right…we have to remember that we, as a physical training-minded community, are a very small percentage of the population. I know that my opinion of too bulky has changed since finding TN and FA. I was always into fit chicks, but now find my tastes prefer a woman with a bit more muscle than what I used to think was ideal.
And it’s not just the aesthetics of the added muscle it’s also my appreciation of a woman who can do more. Run faster, lift heavier, jump higher, sweat it out longer, etc. But all of that has come about as I’ve gotten deeper into this community. Fortunately for me my wife has embraced this lifestyle herself and embodies all of those things I describe.
But I guess my point is that it doesn’t surprise me that your average person who hasn’t been exposed to any of this and doesn’t live this lifestyle themselves would have a far different opinion of what is ideal.
And from a trainer’s point of view, as both the OP and the author of the article are trainers, I think the take away is that you need to really be communicating with your female clients on what their goals are and what they think is ideal since there is obviously some confusion as to what exactly “bulky” means.[/quote]
[quote]LiveFromThe781 wrote:
sluicy wrote:
LiveFromThe781 wrote:
right, which is why im “average” because im extremely good looking but have an awful personality.
It can’t be that bad? You’ve grown on me, at least.
it’s an acquired taste. a taste for extremely dry humor. i make Larry David look like Pauly Shore. that and i have a habit of telling the truth to people …people don’t like to hear the truth.[/quote]
You crack me up regularly. It must just be you’re not as handsome as you think 
[quote]debraD wrote:
LiveFromThe781 wrote:
sluicy wrote:
LiveFromThe781 wrote:
right, which is why im “average” because im extremely good looking but have an awful personality.
It can’t be that bad? You’ve grown on me, at least.
it’s an acquired taste. a taste for extremely dry humor. i make Larry David look like Pauly Shore. that and i have a habit of telling the truth to people …people don’t like to hear the truth.
You crack me up regularly. It must just be you’re not as handsome as you think
[/quote]
no, im as handsome as i think. im just not as funny to everyone else as i am to you.
[quote]Mad_Duck wrote:
LiveFromThe781 wrote:
sluicy wrote:
LiveFromThe781 wrote:
right, which is why im “average” because im extremely good looking but have an awful personality.
It can’t be that bad? You’ve grown on me, at least.
it’s an acquired taste. a taste for extremely dry humor. i make Larry David look like Pauly Shore. that and i have a habit of telling the truth to people … people don’t like to hear the truth.
you’re creeping into Nicholson territory there.
[/quote]
did you just call me creepy?
[quote]LiveFromThe781 wrote:
right, which is why im “average” because im extremely good looking but have an awful personality.
.[/quote]
Well, I guess you are lucky because, once (most) girls start saying how nice you are, then you are fucked and will never get anywhere.
[quote]ukrainian wrote:
LiveFromThe781 wrote:
right, which is why im “average” because im extremely good looking but have an awful personality.
.
Well, I guess you are lucky because, once (most) girls start saying how nice you are, then you are fucked and will never get anywhere.[/quote]
no, because the girls think im an asshole BEFORE i sleep with them. i need to learn to pretend to be nice for like 2 hours or a week, depending, and then i can be ‘myself’ after i dont ever have to speak to them again.
Ms Alisa…you are not bulky …keep doing what you r doing.
[quote]Professor X wrote:
It still is cool to be big. [/quote]
This couldn’t be more true.
I can’t speak to the regional aspect, but as far as ethnicity, I tend to disagree on that. Only in that it is cool for all of them, well except for Indians, I’ve never seen a big Indian, let alone in a social interaction.
I live in an area with a HUGE South East Asian population, and the bigger guys, get more respect than the little guys. So even in a population where the people tend to be “smaller” the ones who bust ass in the kitchen and weightroom, are held in a much higher regard.
I was at my buddies house for a BBQ the other day and his wife was busting balls. She was born in the Dominican but moved up here in her teens. She was like, “Gordo why don’t you go to the gym with Countingbeans, because at this point I can’t tell which one of us is pregnant,” pointing to my buddies gut. Later she was asking my wife if she “liked me like that, if anything was different,” because she was frustrated my buddy was suddenly a fat shit. “I don’t care if he’s fat as long as his shoulders are wider than his waist.”
[quote]
I also know how some of these same women react when they find out you have a decent job as well as lift seriously. It is like wires get crossed and they go into shock from the realization that the stereotypes don’t apply.[/quote]
That and the fact that most Americans can’t comprehend getting off their ass. Let alone putting effort into self improvement. I hear it every fucking day. “But I’m too tired to exercise when I get home, and if I did it in the morning I would be junk all day at work.” As she sits there woofing down her pasta every fucking day for lunch. “That’s why I love Weight Watchers.” Chew, chew, sauce dribbles down her chin. “This frozen meals taste good, I save up points for takeout for dinner every night, and no exercise needed. It’s perfect for us working girls.” This dumb bitch has only gotten fatter since starting Weight Watchers.
God I hate the fat people I work with…
So I’m with everyone that said it’s an effort thing. Women use the too bulky bullshit as an excuse to not do something difficult and still feel good about themselves.
(Although single working moms are allowed to say and do as they please, because I believe they are the only people on Earth to which the “I’m too busy” excuse actually applies.)
[quote]debraD wrote:
I can relate to what you are saying Alisa (and no you are not a buffalo!) That is how many women think, but on the other hand a lot of women compliment me on my arms and legs and ask me what I’m doing. Their eyes glaze over when I start to tell them though! I am self-conscious about my arms these days but I don’t think I actually need to be.
Mind you I’m sure there are regional differences in what’s socially acceptable or desirable and I’m in a region that is big on fitness. When I visited my family back east recently I stood out a lot more and got more negative remarks. But that’s also because the women in my family are catty bitches lol.[/quote]
I’m also from BC and even with the higher levels of physical fitness, most women do not wish to spend hours working out and of the ones that do, most of them are more concerned with cardio than building muscles and only wave around those pretty colored girly weights. There are probably eight men in the weight room of my gym for every serious lifting female.
My female coworkers have flat out told me that they think I am nuts, and according to their mindset, I expect that I am. I do what makes me happy, and to me, defined muscles are a beautiful thing. I don’t know why any woman would want to look like a prepubescent boy.
[quote]debraD wrote:
This is why I’m glad I don’t associate with the women in my family. They are awful! But they are out of shape, unhealthy, unhappy people who are miserable. The women I do know outside of my family as friends and professionally are a different breed who are secure, fit and successful and have no such nastiness. Some close friends have shown concern at my bodyfat being low but that’s about it. But there is also the regional thing. My family is in the east and I am in the west. Things are very different out here.
[/quote]
Interesting you should say this. My wife & I lived in Boise, ID for about 3 yrs before career changes took me back east to Ohio then New York State. We’re both originally from upstate NY and we noticed a difference living in Idaho. People out west seem to be more active outdoors. I use to joke when we’d fly back east that with each airline connection the passengers would get fatter as we got closer east (we sometimes had to take 3 planes).
Also, I never understood how some people are so adamant that you have certain obligations towards family. You have no choice in who your family is. They may choose to lead a completely different lifestyle and have values in direct conflict with yours. You can choose friends with common values and may hold them in higher esteem than “family”. Good job finding friends who support your lifestyle.
[quote]LiveFromThe781 wrote:
ukrainian wrote:
LiveFromThe781 wrote:
right, which is why im “average” because im extremely good looking but have an awful personality.
.
Well, I guess you are lucky because, once (most) girls start saying how nice you are, then you are fucked and will never get anywhere.
no, because the girls think im an asshole BEFORE i sleep with them. i need to learn to pretend to be nice for like 2 hours or a week, depending, and then i can be ‘myself’ after i dont ever have to speak to them again.[/quote]
I’ve been nice to plenty of girls. Never got me anywhere.
[quote]ukrainian wrote:
LiveFromThe781 wrote:
ukrainian wrote:
LiveFromThe781 wrote:
right, which is why im “average” because im extremely good looking but have an awful personality.
.
Well, I guess you are lucky because, once (most) girls start saying how nice you are, then you are fucked and will never get anywhere.
no, because the girls think im an asshole BEFORE i sleep with them. i need to learn to pretend to be nice for like 2 hours or a week, depending, and then i can be ‘myself’ after i dont ever have to speak to them again.
I’ve been nice to plenty of girls. Never got me anywhere.[/quote]
Not to totally agree with you but there is something about a ‘nice’ guy that gets on my nerves. It’s usually excessive, overly saccharin and transparent and I often find I don’t trust them. I also hate Wayne Gretzky though.
But without being an asshole, I love when a guy antagonizes and argues with me. I hate when a guy agrees with everything I say and kisses my ass. But I live to argue though. Actually I love when anyone argues with me, man or woman. Most women don’t though. It’s a shame. It’s such fun.
[quote]debraD wrote:
ukrainian wrote:
LiveFromThe781 wrote:
ukrainian wrote:
LiveFromThe781 wrote:
right, which is why im “average” because im extremely good looking but have an awful personality.
.
Well, I guess you are lucky because, once (most) girls start saying how nice you are, then you are fucked and will never get anywhere.
no, because the girls think im an asshole BEFORE i sleep with them. i need to learn to pretend to be nice for like 2 hours or a week, depending, and then i can be ‘myself’ after i dont ever have to speak to them again.
I’ve been nice to plenty of girls. Never got me anywhere.
Not to totally agree with you but there is something about a ‘nice’ guy that gets on my nerves. It’s usually excessive, overly saccharin and transparent and I often find I don’t trust them. I also hate Wayne Gretzky though.
[/quote]
I agree with Debra. Live, your “awful personality” issue may just be that you think you are “extremely good looking.” Hubris is terribly off-putting. 
[quote]countingbeans wrote:
Professor X wrote:
It still is cool to be big.
This couldn’t be more true.
I know the responses I get confirm that. I think it also depends on where you live and even ethnicity.
I can’t speak to the regional aspect, but as far as ethnicity, I tend to disagree on that. Only in that it is cool for all of them, well except for Indians, I’ve never seen a big Indian, let alone in a social interaction.
[/quote]
Actually, one of the more serious lifters in my gym is a South Asian middle-aged guy. Not “Huge” by T-Nation standards, but squatting high 200’s.
[quote]ukrainian wrote:
LiveFromThe781 wrote:
ukrainian wrote:
LiveFromThe781 wrote:
right, which is why im “average” because im extremely good looking but have an awful personality.
.
Well, I guess you are lucky because, once (most) girls start saying how nice you are, then you are fucked and will never get anywhere.
no, because the girls think im an asshole BEFORE i sleep with them. i need to learn to pretend to be nice for like 2 hours or a week, depending, and then i can be ‘myself’ after i dont ever have to speak to them again.
I’ve been nice to plenty of girls. Never got me anywhere.[/quote]
The word ‘nice’ is such a vague word in describing anything… especially people.
Many times, if a guy’s described as ‘nice’, it means that he’s boring/no personality or just a decent person, but not attractive to the other person.
You can be ‘nice’, (without being too nice (i.e pushover) and still attract women.
As an aside…
The “treating girls like shit, because that’s what they want” attitude, disgusts me. I refuse to treat anyone like shit just because they have insecurity and/or self respect issues.