[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
However YOU should do so, because you have a better chance of gaining either the permission you seek or a sudden renewed interest on your wife’s part as she realizes you’ve shifted your attention away from her. If everything else is okay, try to fix this one thing. You owe it to both of you.[/quote]
let me think about this for a minute and get back to you - we are a little off point, and not really discussing alternatives, but you may have a point…
[quote]Sutebun wrote:
Hey Edgy…
How do you think YOUR wife feels??
People are all different and approach morality from different perspectives. If you were able to somehow discuss this and erase it from her memory (MIB style) which option do you think she would have preferred?
[/quote]
again this is not about me or my relationship, but a broad discussion on mores and acceptable relationships within the marriage contract…
[quote]Edgy wrote:
[quote]JCMPG wrote:
[quote]Edgy wrote:
so, the conversation goes like this?
“hey, Wife of 20 some odd years, this aint working for me anymore - I’m gonna git me a gurlfreind~”
or - have all of the lifestyle stay the same, no drama, but get some sexytimebuddy and nobody gets hurt.
what would you do?
be serious now~
[/quote]
Probably something more along the line of
“Hey wife of 20 some odd years, I am not happy and am not satisfied in our current relationship how about you?”[/quote]
and what do you think her response would be?[/quote]
I have no idea but after 20 years of marriage I think she is owed the respect of being the question and given the opportunity to voice her thoughts and feelings.
Communication and respect that to me is where a sound relationship is built.
Cheating is when a woman in a relationship engages in sexual activities with a man other than her partner
[quote]akmcsnarfy wrote:
Cheating is when a woman in a relationship engages in sexual activities with a man other than her partner[/quote]
Well there, Genghis Khan has made his feelings clear. Nice to hear from some of our posters living in the 13th century.
[quote]pushharder wrote:
[quote]Edgy wrote:
or - have all of the lifestyle stay the same, no drama, but get some sexytimebuddy and nobody gets hurt.
[/quote]
You can’t have a girlfriend behind her back with no drama.
You will have dump truck loads full of drama with that scenario.[/quote]
I agree, because you have to take into account the feelings of the other woman. And she’ll have 'em.
In my opinion, cheating is when you cross the line of fulfilling (yes) your sexual desires with another woman than your girlfriend / wife. Some people get very excited about crossing that line. Some other believe that being with a wife will kill their lust for other women, some believe it so hard that it effectively kills it.
For me it’s just this. A limit to not cross. I can fantasize about it, but I won’t cross it. It s disrepectful. Even if she “does not know”, it is a form of lie. And I can’t lie to someone I love.
[quote]Chushin wrote:
[quote]Edgy wrote:
first off, how the hell did you get to level 100?
[/quote]
I asked Tim Patterson the same question.
He said that I was a borderline case, but my friendship with you put me over the top.
[/quote]
see? all can profit from my friendship~
okay - ya’all’ve convinced me.
in this scenario, i shall not have any other lovers than my SO -
but, i shall take up drinking in a bar, being abusive both physically and emotionally, and spend all of the family money on gambling.
but… i shall stay tru to my wife.
we will be poor, we will have to move in with her mother, the kids will no longer respect us.
tell me, is this a better scenario? lets move on from the outsourcing sex discussion to discuss what else can be considered cheating.
[quote]Biskui wrote:
In my opinion, cheating is when you cross the line of fulfilling (yes) your sexual desires with another woman than your girlfriend / wife. Some people get very excited about crossing that line. Some other believe that being with a wife will kill their lust for other women, some believe it so hard that it effectively kills it.
For me it’s just this. A limit to not cross. I can fantasize about it, but I won’t cross it. It s disrepectful. Even if she “does not know”, it is a form of lie. And I can’t lie to someone I love.
[/quote]
you lie to that woman now, Biski~
when she asks if you would like to watch the game other than go to her mothers.
when she asks you if those jeans make her butt look big
when she asks you if you ever look at another woman, you lie
i am speaking of generalities, here, but you see my point?
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
[quote]pushharder wrote:
[quote]Edgy wrote:
or - have all of the lifestyle stay the same, no drama, but get some sexytimebuddy and nobody gets hurt.
[/quote]
You can’t have a girlfriend behind her back with no drama.
You will have dump truck loads full of drama with that scenario.[/quote]
I agree, because you have to take into account the feelings of the other woman. And she’ll have 'em. [/quote]
where is your sense of excitement, sensei push, and miss EmmyDear?
[quote]akmcsnarfy wrote:
Cheating is when a woman in a relationship engages in sexual activities with a man other than her partner[/quote]
cheating to me is if i find that she has a credit card that i didnt know about and is spending money on her children without my knowledge.
[quote]Edgy wrote:
[quote]pat wrote:
a bunch of hoo-haa
[/quote]
okay, Pat -
once you start using phrases like hoo-haa to state your point, you have lost credibility.
thanks for your input, but it is no longer relevant in this thread.
c-ya~[/quote]
You’re talking about straying in your marriage and I lost credibility because of a turn of phrase used to cover a multitude of things in the interest of being concise? Fine. I just don’t think you like what I had to say, but you know, everybody knows, I am right. I will butt out. Cheers.
[quote]pat wrote:
[quote]Edgy wrote:
[quote]pat wrote:
a bunch of hoo-haa
[/quote]
okay, Pat -
once you start using phrases like hoo-haa to state your point, you have lost credibility.
thanks for your input, but it is no longer relevant in this thread.
c-ya~[/quote]
You’re talking about straying in your marriage and I lost credibility because of a turn of phrase used to cover a multitude of things in the interest of being concise? Fine. I just don’t think you like what I had to say, but you know, everybody knows, I am right. I will butt out. Cheers.[/quote]
cool, glad he’s gone -
and who says cheers these days?
and, how can hoo-haa be a concise depiction of a multitude of things? my sister-in-law uses hoo-haa to describe her vagine.
and, i didnt like what he had to say, because he was not doing anything more than looking to impose his form of morals upon us, and not encouraging discussion.
oh, well - cant win them all~
Chushie still thinks i’m awesome.
[quote]Edgy wrote:
when she asks you if those jeans make her butt look big
[/quote]
the answer is no.
Because its not the jeans.
[quote]JCMPG wrote:
I have no idea but after 20 years of marriage I think she is owed the respect of being the question and given the opportunity to voice her thoughts and feelings.
[/quote]
agreed - much respect
[quote]orion wrote:
[quote]Edgy wrote:
when she asks you if those jeans make her butt look big
[/quote]
the answer is no.
Because its not the jeans. [/quote]
and, that is why you and i are freinds, Mighty O~