In all y’alls experience and personal dealings…
Will a significant other who cheats ever walk the line? I.e., you’re seeing someone who has somebody, that they admittedly do not get along with but are legally attached to for the moment?
What’s the likelihood he’s going to come clean some day and what’s the likelihood I should just enjoy the sex for the moment and put up a personal ad somewhere else?
Not going to happen. You’re just like that extra order of fries that fast food places accidentally stuff in your bag - you’re a really nice surprise, but you aren’t the main course and will easily be forgotten.
if he is cheating on her with you then you can bet that down the line he will do the same thing to you,either call the whole thing off or just enjoy the sex,problem is that usually females get too attatched especialy when sex is involved…move on or end up hurt…
I usually don’t respond to non training threads, but here is my 2 cents.
If you get a man/woman by one of you cheating on someone, you stand a higher chance of losing him/her the same way. Do you know for sure that he and his partner don’t get along? Men often tell women this so that the woman will feel sorry for him and not feel guilty about being used as a s POA when the guy is in a good relationship with someone else. I’m not saying this is the case, but in my observations this is usually what is going on. I wouldn’t wait for him, if he wants to be away from her and be with you he could do so. It would be easier and cheaper to stay in the relationship (assuming they are married) and have you (or the next woman) as a booty call. Again, just my 2 cents.
Yeah that’s a rough one…
As long as you JUST enjoy the sex and don’t fall in love with the dude things should be ok. Don’t wait on him though, place your ad, meet other people as well because eventually your torrid interlude will come to an end. You might as well be the one that ends it.
B.
I hope this isn’t a hijack because it may actually help answer the question. I pretty much agree with what everyone else has said about if it happens this time it will happen again.
But, who here has done the cheatin heart thing and if so, have you ever then been totally faithful to someone else? I’m married for 14 years. Lots of flirting and funnin but faithful the whole time.
Awesome point Burke,guys(and maybe gals for that fact) tend to make their “real” relationship seem so much worse then it really is b/c it does work for sympathy,i myself play that card alot…
to answer the last question that was asked i have been in both faithful(one for 3.5 years) and cheating relationships
If he’ll cheat with you on her, he’ll cheat on you with “her.” I would suggest extricating yourself from this situation.
Never commit to somethiing that he isn’t willing to commit to as well. Unless he’s actively doing something to get out of his relationship don’t get serious…ust have some serious fun instead!!!
“Legally attached to” as in married? If so, tell this asshole cheater to scram and get the hell out of there before you become entangled in a messy divorce situation or worse. Besides, as already pointed out, cheaters do NOT change.
If he is cheating on his wife with you, he will cheat on you with someone else. Why are you even thinking of settling for 2nd? Drop his ass and move on. Not to mention you could be destroying a family.
I’ve been the other guy before. All I can say is don’t get caught. Mainly because another woman will blame you and not the dirtbag man.
The Magic 8 Ball says…he’ll most likely continue to be a cheater. Nothing is 100% but if I had to put money on it I’d say he won’t straighten up and fly right. The worst part I could imagine about cheating is the conscience thing…that angel in the cartoons just sitting on your shoulder all the time bitching and moaning about right and wrong. He probably snuffed the little bastard and is having his cake an eating it too. Unless the little angel is really in a coma and may recover it looks like you’re screwed, figuratively of course.
All I can say is enjoy the perks without getting caught up in the bullshit. When the bullshit outweighs the perks, leave.
As far as can a person cheat in one relationship and then go on to have monogamous relationships… I believe so. It is very, very uncommon though.
I know from my experience, I had what I considered a fabulous relationship with a guy while I was in school. I also cheated on him 5 times. I didn’t do it because of any “problem” in the relationship, I did it for the fun of it. The next three relationships were monogamous - including my marriage of 3 years during which time I was deprived sex (and all physical contact) for 2 years.
So what does that indicate? A “cheater” is capable of ‘reforming’ even under the most extreme of situations. All it takes is for that person to have the proper convictions.
My concern would be what others have mentioned - getting caught up in a messy divorce. Worst case, the guy’s ex will pull a Fatal Attraction stunt and stalk you. Best case, the guy simply uses you to “relieve the frustration” of the divorce.
I can’t believe people here are actually condoning this type of behaviour.
Even if you do end up having a meaningful relationship, both of you will always have one thing in the back of your minds: the foundation of your relationship was based upon lying and deceit. How could you ever trust someone whom you know doesn’t have the integrity to end one relationship before starting another?
I don’t personally believe that you can label someone a “cheater” and assume that they will never be faithful to anyone. Each relationship is different, and it depends on how two people feel about each other, but the odds are not in your favor.
There are SOOOOOO many single men out there, why bother with a married one?
Even if you are just looking for a friend with benefits…get a single one.
I think women go after the married ones because “it’s the thrill of the chase”. Then, when their is the divorce, the ex-husband and girlfriend tend to break up. It’s a fucked up cycle. One of my friends is doing this right now, and I hate her for it.
How about you quit being a slut and find someone that isn’t married? I’m completely open to the idea of two responsible adults having a sexual relationship even if they aren’t actually “together,” but screwing with a marriage? No matter how bad of shape it’s already in, that’s just wrong.