Mary J Blige sums it up best in this song of Love
Supporting the value of sticking with an established relationship.
She won two grammies for it.
bump~
edgy,
thatâs what business trips are for.
i thought this was common knowledge?
Not married but I never understood why people consider watching porn or going to titty bars is cheating. Thatâs stupid. Itâs a fucking fantasy at the most.
[quote]Totenkopf wrote:
Not married but I never understood why people consider watching porn or going to titty bars is cheating. Thatâs stupid. Itâs a fucking fantasy at the most.[/quote]
Some people can drink one beer and not want more.
Most people want more beer.
[quote]Edgy wrote:
[quote]pushharder wrote:
It is the primary relationship in our lives.
[/quote]
at risk of starting an argument, how can this statement be tru when a majority of marriages end in divorce?
[/quote]
Perhaps because so many do not treat it as the primary relationship in our lives? How many donât put kids, work etc before their spouse?
Youâve created an interesting thread and I hope that it will help you do what is best not only for you, but also for your wife.
in reality folks, this was just an exercise in relationship patterns during our modern age.
i have been reading a volume on the history of civilizations, and have found it remarkable as to how relationships are viewed throughout the ages, and how it is regarded in our judeo-christian society today.
and, i was trying to relate that historical freedom of sexuality with what i have witnessed as destroying relationships with gambling, neglect, and alcoholism, while remaining sexually faithful to your significant other.
and, came up with a question as to cheating.
however - i found few who could stay on topic (imagine that), but did expose those who are unable to have a reasonable discussion, and chose the religious morals route (which is the easy path), and shut down any discussion.
my relationship is fine, i have no interest in maintaining relationships of a sexual nature outside of marriage - mostly cause i dont do drama well, and i am a horrible liar -
Edgy~
[quote]Edgy wrote:
in reality folks, this was just an exercise in relationship patterns during our modern age.
i have been reading a volume on the history of civilizations, and have found it remarkable as to how relationships are viewed throughout the ages, and how it is regarded in our judeo-christian society today.
and, i was trying to relate that historical freedom of sexuality with what i have witnessed as destroying relationships with gambling, neglect, and alcoholism, while remaining sexually faithful to your significant other.
and, came up with a question as to cheating.
however - i found few who could stay on topic (imagine that), but did expose those who are unable to have a reasonable discussion, and chose the religious morals route (which is the easy path), and shut down any discussion.
my relationship is fine, i have no interest in maintaining relationships of a sexual nature outside of marriage - mostly cause i dont do drama well, and i am a horrible liar -
Edgy~[/quote]
Let me first point out that you are among the TNation posters most likely to stray off topic, and when you do it is very often to joke about your unsatisfying sex life. So there is a basis for the responses youâre getting.
But returning to the topic, I would say that perhaps there is a greater expectation of fidelity today because it is so easy to dissolve marriages. Why cheat when you can simply state your desire to find greener pastures? Historically itâs been much harder, if not impossible, to dissolve unsatisfying marriages.
As far as gambling, neglect, and alcoholism or any substance abuse go, almost everyone whoâs responded has expressed the belief that dishonesty and betrayal are shit moves regardless of specific context. Trust is trust.
Youâve gotten multiple answers to the questions you insist were the point of the thread. You seem not to like them and for that reason the impression readers are getting is that the real question is âHow can I eat my cake and have it, too?â
[quote]Edgy wrote:
in reality folks, this was just an exercise in relationship patterns during our modern age.
i have been reading a volume on the history of civilizations, and have found it remarkable as to how relationships are viewed throughout the ages, and how it is regarded in our judeo-christian society today.
and, i was trying to relate that historical freedom of sexuality with what i have witnessed as destroying relationships with gambling, neglect, and alcoholism, while remaining sexually faithful to your significant other.
and, came up with a question as to cheating.
however - i found few who could stay on topic (imagine that), but did expose those who are unable to have a reasonable discussion, and chose the religious morals route (which is the easy path), and shut down any discussion.
my relationship is fine, i have no interest in maintaining relationships of a sexual nature outside of marriage - mostly cause i dont do drama well, and i am a horrible liar -
Edgy~[/quote]
This spurred some thought about a discussion I had at one point with my wife. She didnât know me when I was in active addiction to booze and drugs and had a sense of disbelief about the nature of my behavior. Then she started meeting some of my old friends. The full picture became much more clear after so many stories of âYou should have seenâŠâ or âYou wouldnât believe the one timeâŠâ.
So we get home one night after one of those sessions and she asks me âWhat should I do if you ever start using again?â My answer was âRun. Get somewhere stable and call an attorney.â. She didnât really like that and asked why. I explained to her that she would be playing second fiddle to what ever else I was doing and would be hurt in the process. If not physically then at least emotionally and definitely financially.
So I equate neglect, alcoholism, and what ever else to abandonment of the relationship, even if a couple is still together. They may be cohabitating but they are not the object of each others love. The old âYou Canât Serve Two Mastersâ thing comes to mind.
As to peoples responses- You can always tell a button has been pushed when you get the aforementioned bad (or telling) response. Iâve been straightforward about my experiences and responses range from âYouâre a weak willed idiot shitbag!â to âCongrats, etcâŠâ
It has a lot less to do with what youâve done and more to do what the responder has experienced. That and Internetz. People are some bad assed muthas on the web and will type all kinds of things for their own edification.
Edgy, do you have an idea as to what youâd feel if/when you slept with another woman? Good, bad, anything in between?
Do you think sleeping with another woman would fill the void in your life and make it better?
Would it make your relationship with your wife any better?
Just curious, thatâs all.
Also, iâm a fan of yours. No homo.
Edgy, IMO:
âCheatingâ (sexually) is adultery.
Being a frackinâ jerk and ruining your family is not adultery.
Now, maybe you wanted to ask which is worse.
Is it worse to flay someone and let them die, or is worse to gang rape someone until they die?
Depending on the person âcheatedâ on, and the value they place on fidelity, the above comparison works (even though a bit hyperbolic).
If someone is okay with/wants an open relationship, with the partner agreeing/wanting this too, B is bad, A is neutral.
If someone wants a lifelong partner, both A and B are about as hurtful and as bad, though in different ways.
< - - - - Puts EmilyDear on Block
< - - - - - Puts Skyzyks on the Christmas card list
< - - - - - Freinds Stinkfist
< - - - - - Appreciates Sternheisen
< - - - - Takes EmilyDear off Block, cause she is so damnded key-oote!
Cheating is anything that breaks the rules SHE has laid down.
[quote]Edgy wrote:
i have been reading a volume on the history of civilizations, and have found it remarkable as to how relationships are viewed throughout the ages, and how it is regarded in our judeo-christian society today.
[/quote]
BooksâŠ
Gimme books to readâŠ
BoooooooksâŠ
[quote]CLINK wrote:
Cheating is anything that breaks the rules SHE has laid down. [/quote]
Why let her lay down the rules?
Plus, she does not really have to lay down any rules, society has already done that for her.
If we postulate that serial monogamy is the norm, it really serves the female imperative, because if men want to fuck anything that moves and women want to trade up you are in the interesting position that if you fuck someone else you are an asshole, but if she is of to greener pastures that is just the way it goes and âit was not meant to beâ and you âwere not right for herâ.
Which is why it is a good idea to let her fight for a committed relationship (that, at least", she will appreciate it more.