They’re out there.
1 Like
Just give up dude. Sounds like this is your decision anyways. Marriage isn’t for everyone.
4 Likes
So, lets say you find the right one.
Now, what do you bring to the table that She would want?
1 Like
Yeah, getting married now is not for you. Thats OK.
Maybe reevaluate every year or two.
Just give it some thought and ask yourself if you still feel the same.
3 Likes
The OP is blessed to have gone through this exercise now rather than finding out post nuptials.
Remember - this too shall pass. Enjoy the present.
3 Likes
If our personalities match exactly, I guess we would have fun together in our ways. I actually didn’t think about it that much. I would probably protect her, support her, be a good father.
But the thing is, how much I would sacrifice, is probably not much (or what she would expect). For example, a close relative of mine moved with his girlfriend to the city because she wanted. If I were with her instead, I would break up if she would not give up.
You can’t predict these kind of stuff always.
1 Like
Honestly, this would be boring.
1 Like
Its a good idea to discuss plans for the future Before you get married. If you have similar ideas about where to live, having kids, life style, etc marriage might be smoother.
Looks and personality and that stuff are good too. But having the similar agendas for the furure is crucial.
2 Likes
I’m asking this respectfully. How old are you?
I am seeing in young people this notion that they somehow are always going to do unto life instead of life doing unto them. Every I must be dotted and T slashed until a chance is taken and no decision will be made in any circumstance unless the future can be predicted.
I’m not saying this describes you specifically, and maybe it doesn’t. Anyone with the described mentality shouldn’t get married and I think women should steer clear of men with it. Else these men will drive them up fucking walls and waste their time. You’ve several times mentioned you will dislike most possible prospects in the future who aren’t even here yet!
This is also how men, maybe not you, jam to up the sexual market by having women in limbo. They want commitment from women—for a limited time—but don’t want to commit to women! They want the tizzies and affection from women for a time, knowing full well they are going to dump them. They use them as placeholders. That includes good women who fritter away their youth in “relationships”.
Have you taken into account the sort of life blunders that pop up because or marriage: job loss, family deaths, kids having problems, injuries, etc, etc, etc.?
Last winter my wife had a knee injury requiring rehab. For weeks I was the sole parent running shit. Sixteen hour days! Doctors’ and therapists’ visits, taking kids to school, cooking, adjusting her brace, massages, cleaning, various errands and chores, etc. This wasn’t nearly as bad as other events that happen to people. Plus our elderly dog was constantly shitting everywhere.
There have also been season-long feuds about important matters no one could foresee. And I surely didn’t give a shit about anyone’s “personality” during them.
You ready?
2 Likes
Its crazy how much stress a little dogshit can add.
4 Likes
It was towards the end of her life and it was getting out of hand. Once during the debacle above, she defecated three times as we were leaving for a PT appt. Almost out the door, there she went. Cleaned it up, almost out the door, there she went. Then a third time. Stressful as all hell.
Poor sweet old dog.
1 Like
I’m 21.
You might be right, but these days in the scope of relationships, men can get really fucked up. Don’t wanna be a whiny one here, but for your argument I think that’s the reason.
Well I think that I would probably see it more as a taking care of their mother instead of taking care of her. Maybe not and I would really love her, but it probably would be the former.
Well, I’m just looking for someone somewhat with the same views as me. Not looking for someone that likes the gym, or likes running, just someone I would talk with and not feel like she’s completely different.
@cantfitinjeans I’m genuinely curious, what do you think love is?
1 Like
What?!
1 Like
This is basically a guarantee for divorce.
One of the biggest complaints women have is that they lose their identity. They become “(husband’s name)’s wife”, “(children’s names)’s mother” etc
Your future wife is not livestock who’s purpose is to produce prize offspring. She’s her own person and deserves to be treated as such
2 Likes
Really a dumb idea.
2 Likes
One of the best things you can do for your kids IS being a good husband.
5 Likes
You are still young. Give yourself time.
This is true of both sexes.
I would imagine you see it this way because the person you are speaking of is hypothetical. I had a list of things I would never do for and never put up with from my future spouse. When you are in a relationship and the person is real and you love them, your perspective changes. I think you would be surprised at the things you would do for and give up for a person that you truly love. Especially if that person does the same for you. In my experience the love between partners and the love between a parent and child are similar in that they aren’t just instantly locked in. They build and grow over time. If you build a strong relationship with a partner there is very little that will be that rewarding.
Also, if all you want a wife for is to have children, prepare for the divorce that will most likely come after they are grown. There has to be more than co-parenting for a relationship to last.
1 Like