Exactly the opposite, I want to take care of them, but not living with the mother I might not like anymore is contradicting because a child should grow with a father and mother.
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This won’t be “I won’t” rather than “I can’t”.
But I applaud you for recognizing the importance of raising kids in a solid family dynamic. In turn, I wouldn’t father children with someone that I couldn’t see myself being with forever.
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A kid should grow up with his father and mother together, there is no way I’ll bring kids into this world without me living with them, and their mother, which is bonded by marriage in my view.
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That’s a non option really, I’m not going to have my kids jump around or not live with them full time. They will just grow up messed up. And I would also want to be part of their life.
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Like pre birth? So you find out, then what?
What I was getting at is relationships and marriage are gambles. It’s a risk. So is having children. Nothing is ever as you expect it and your beliefs will be challenged. But if you go into it with a full heart, you can handle anything that comes your way.
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OK, that makes sense.
You want kids, and a stable family but you’re unsure about marriage. I guess you said that and I was just projecting.
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I mean, if it’s still early and it’s severe (depends on the circumstance), I would be doing an abortion (with the acceptance of their mother ofc).
Can you give reasons why you might not like the woman you choose to marry? After all, you want to marry a good woman, right?
Well yeah, but I don’t know if I would find one. There are beautiful women out there, but not necessarily the personality I’m looking for.
Sounds like you’re approaching it backwards. Why not find a beautiful personality out there?
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If this is your attitude, your future children will likely end up having to become unlicensed marriage counsellors
You cannot possibly find a woman you’re attracted to (maybe beautiful, maybe ordinary) with a good personality, who will be a good wife and mother?
Well I’m saying there are more beautiful women than ones with the personality I favor, at least in my social cycles.
I mean there aren’t both?
Both of what?
Good wife and mother?
I think good motherhood comes with good wife also.
I meant both for one person.
Not absolutely. Plenty of people are good parents and subpar spouses.
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Thankfully, you only need to marry 1.
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Yeah, for one person. A person that is a good wife and a good mother.
This. My wife has been my best friend for 40 years, but we didn’t get together until almost 10 years ago. We saw each other through 3 bad marriages between us before we sat down and talked about what we really wanted out of the future, and decided to give Us a try. it’ll be 10 years next spring since we first had that talk, and we’ll have been married 8 years in June, and it’s the best decision we ever made. That said, marriage doesn’t have to be for everyone. I sought out my first 2 marriages for the wrong reasons, and it showed in the way things broke down. It wasn’t until I wasn’t looking for someone that things got clearer.
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