I have this very deep feeling of getting married/being in a relationship, but when I think about it, I just realize every time that it’s not beneficial for me. At least at my area, men and women have the same roles in a family. I already make my own food and take care of myself by my own. Why do I need to be in a relationship? I do want kids, but I don’t know if I wanna live with another person my whole life because of kids. Yet, every time when I see a woman that’s interested in me, I have this urge of approaching her, but I just stop myself, because I think in the long term. I might be too judgmental, but in the long term, it ain’t worth it.
I didn’t go seeking a woman to marry: I married my best friend. The friendship and respect was formed FIRST, and from there the relationship bloomed. We always have that foundation, and so now I live with my best friend and share my life with them.
Married 10 years. It’s not easy. I love my wife, but our relationship has changed quite a bit over the years. Is a long complicated story. Mostly my own fault, but not entirely.
Find a woman who’s company you genuinely appreciate and can really laugh with.
I was 19 when I met the man I married. I was 24 when we started dating and 26 when we got married. Over the past 20 years we have had many highs and many lows. There were times that I wished I had never gotten married and there were times that I knew it was the best decision I ever made. We have raised 2 wonderful children together and he is by far my best friend. It’s no longer about what his responsibilities are or what mine are. It’s about the bond that we have that no one else fills. There is no one else who makes me laugh like he does and there is no one else who’s company I prefer. My favorite part of the day is the early morning when it’s just the two of us hanging out in the living room. In my opinion that is what makes a marriage. Perhaps you haven’t met the right person yet. Or perhaps, like me, you have met them but the time wasn’t quite right and 5 years later you get smacked in the face with the realization that they are the one. Either way, with the right person it’s completely worth it.
I would say it went same way with us. I definitely got attracted/crush to my nowaday wife, but we also found common tune really easily at the start.
Nowadays she’s my best friend and wife, there’s nothing I could not tell her I could tell to someone else and vice versa.
To the OP: if you want to have an easy life marriage is not for you, since even a good marriage needs work and unselfishness. But it’s the same thing with kids.
Best things in life are not always the most fun things. My life would be really empty without my wife and kids.
That’s the thing, everyone always so worried of being alone. What if it’s OK to be alone? Being alone should be preferred. You do whatever you want, not tightened to anyone. But for some reason, we want a relationship, and this is something that was invented in the last 100 years. Before, it was all about bloodline, but now it’s also about not being alone.
I like being alone. I was alone for a while. It’s easy. But like everyone is saying, it’s more rewarding to try. You do the hard thing for what comes after.
I think if you aren’t interested in compromise and working through difficulties than marriage might not be for you. It’s hard and it can truly suck sometimes. And maybe being “tied” to a person in your youth might seem unnecessary, but as I’ve aged I have found that companionship is extremely valuable. A person who is there to comfort me when I need it, someone who makes me laugh when I need it, someone who talks to me about all the things in the world that matter and all the things that don’t. He is also the person who celebrates my victories with me and helps me move through my failures. I changed his socks and rubbed Vaseline on his feet through his 100 mile race. He took care of me after my hysterectomy. Just this morning he talked me into running a race that I was ready to bail on because I wasn’t feeling great. It’s not about not being lonely. It’s about finding the person that makes life more fulfilling. And yes, it is a pretty big gamble. But most of the truly great things in my life were.
I got no problem working through difficulties, I got a problem working through difficulties with someone I don’t really “need”. I’m pretty young, so maybe I don’t see it yet, but it’s not a big deal for me the things that make you value your relationship. I don’t really need someone to talk with, or make me laugh, I actually don’t want so I won’t become dependent.
I had many situations where I was dependent for example hanging out, but I realized that’s just stupid and I should do things myself. I like not being dependent on anyone, because in my experience they just bail.
