I’m not sure I’ve ever heard it put quite this way, but I think that is brilliant. That does seem to be the way some people view life. Gotta have the right house, the right spouse, the right car. If I get it right and have the best I win. Also I think @T3hPwnisher makes a good point about brain development. I said something similar in a different thread. I feel like a lot of people make life changing decisions before their brains are fully developed and before they actually know what they want. What they find to be important in a spouse. I said it before and I’ll say it again, had I married any of the men that I was dating in my late teens and early twenties, I have no doubt I would be long divorced by now.
In the scenario where you have kids but no wife or “partner,” where do the kids live?
Are they with you full time?
Or splitting time between you and their mother?
Maybe mostly with their mom except for the few days a month they are with you?
Part time custody/homeless.
Friday afternoon: “Hi kids! We’re going to Mickey Dee’s!”
Sunday evening "
Closing time! You don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here…
".
I understand why some people disagree with this, but it still stands. The mother-child dyad is a biological construct. The father-child dyad is socially a created one—by marriage. At least that’s how it was for nearly all the time marriage has been around, before state intrusion into family life.
Feminists understand this, which is why some of the most influential expressed and took pride in it. They know dad is the weakest link in the family. Without the institution of marriage, women would have total control of children, as they inherently belong to them.
Pretty sure the dad has a biological connection as well.
For mere impregnation, yes. For decision-making, custody or rights, those are all socially created by institutions.
Its all theoretical, so maybe he has a better situation thought up.
Like single dad with fun, helpful extended family.
Or single dad wirh cool assistant, like Race Bannon or The Nanny.
When I lived in SF I met one of the most interesting family units you could think of. Two gay guys, two lesbians all living together, with three kids (don’t know how they were conceived, IVF is my guess). Mom 1 and dad 1 were super career focused and raked in money. Mom 2 was full-time all about the kids, dad 2 was an artist/machinist/cook who took care of household shit.
It’s the closest to “checking the boxes” I think I’ve seen.
That’s a lot of people to get along with.
Right? I’m not sure how they pulled it off.
I’m still baffled when people are dating multiple people simultaneously. It just sounds like a headache.
It’s like a job search.
And we have our next wave of disenfranchised Manchurian candidates.
Was this some sort of polygamy, or just an incredibly efficient roommate situation? Sounds like the latter, in which case good for them. Sounds like a winning solution to financial and parenting stressors. It would never work with straight couples because of jealousy and territoriality.
My inner circle and I plan to have a Home For Aged Women Who Like To Talk A Lot (we call it the HFAWWLTTAL) because we all have similar standards and personalities and see no reason to be broke and lonely when we’re old and alone (the men tend to die first). So we’ll set ourselves up in a fantastic place (combined resources will allow for fantastic) and have a jolly old age. The kids will come by and my sons (I’m a big haver of sons, two of the friends have only daughters) will reach things on high shelves for us, as we’ll all become short and fat at some point. We’ve talked about putting knitted cozies on everything just to fuck with the kids for fun (pic below for reference) as grandmothers when we were young were big into these, and we all had at least one cozy for toilet paper or tissue boxes (I had both an everyday Kleenex cover and a Christmas one). Probably our grandchildren won’t know what they are, but that will fuck with them all the more. There will be things like TV remote control cozies, potato chip cozies, etc. We plan on having big fun.
The only thing we haven’t figured out is dying one by one and the finances and loneliness of that. Will we find replacements as people drop off? No one knows. ![]()
The only flaw, if you could even call it that, in this plan is the high shelves.
If you’re going to have a fantastic place, it should have shelves that aren’t high to you. Of course, high shelves also provide reason for sons visits, so they still serve a good purpose.
My mom had a group of friends that were alternately The Flakey Ladies, The Flakes, or the Ladies Sewing Circle and Terrorist Society. Cozies abounded.
She has a magnet on her fridge that says, “The older I get, the more everyone can kiss my ass.”
With grey hair, how are they NOT called “The Frosted Flakes”?
We can put unpleasant things up there:
Aged woman who likes to talk a lot #1: “Where’s the Windex? The windows are filthy.”
Aged woman who likes to talk a lot #2: “I think it’s on the top shelf in the pantry.”
Entire aged team: Have mimosas and cookies instead, while awaiting a visit from one of the sons.
Lol, without marriage I can’t have kids
That’s actually a fear of mine in having kids, today there are ways to find out if you would have a disabled child.
I feel like you skipped an important day of health class in middle school…
