What everyone here thinks about marriage?

Agree that making marriage scientific is stupid. Probably its me planning things too much, fearing from mistakes, which I’m not sure is wrong.

I’m scared of committing my whole life for someone.

I don’t mind that kids are a hassle. I would love my kids and want the best for them, and I would try to make them in their best form. Growing them up is something I would never give up or regret.

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In this day and age your in for the long haul.

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You’re supposed to be judgmental of people you might do something as serious as marry and have children with. And if you think all women are not worth it, then disassociating from them seems reasonable.

Well, right. If there is no desire, there is no misery if the desire is not met. We are generally intensely attracted to women. And nothing makes men angrier than lack of women.

If you value your freedom more than children, and pouring energy and money into a spouse, in-laws, other people socially connected to a couple, children, and so on, then no, it’s not worth it.

Men who don’t want anything interfering with their own needs, money, hobbies, diversions, fuck-around time, and identity shouldn’t marry.

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:100: marriage requires some sacrifices. Even more if you plan to have children and raise them to be productive and decent adults.

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@njord @cantfitinjeans

What do you mean by making marriage scientific and centrally planned? I’ve never come across these terms applied to marriage.

100% agree. I was like that at 21. And 25. And 30.

My dad has been married 5 times, and after going through divorce as a kid I planned to be a life-long bachelor. I actively avoided any relationships because I was in that mindset Brickhead described.

I first met my wife when we were 19-20ish, and immediately connected on a friendship level, but nothing romantic happened. 10 years later we ran into each other again and within 24 hours we had our first kiss and got engaged. It’s been 12 years and 2 kids now.

I don’t feel like I’ve given up being able to be a lone wolf when I want to, but having a genuine partner in life (with boobies!) actually frees me up, which is the opposite of what I thought at 21.

At 21 you’re a baby in adult years, so take your 20’s to improve yourself (like others said), and give yourself some time to relax.

And as far as “bloodlines” - your balls will work until you’re 90, calm the fuck down.

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@BrickHead

I think marriage and kids are awesome. I believe the man needs to have great level of comfort leading and setting an example for his kids in everything!

Career/business, hobbies, social network, attitude on life, even all the way down to your body language, posture, and how you walk in public/next to your wife.

On a personal note, I despise insecure men. I find them exhausting and useless.

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Women too, for the sake of equality :winking_face_with_tongue:

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Maybe that’s the point. Figure out what you want from all those things first, then get a partner. I love, appreciate, and get excited about my wife’s needs, money, hobbies, diversions, fuck-around time, and identity.

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I just find it amusing that a certain segments of the female population is now complaining there is a decline of “masculine males “ .Now that they want to enter a knew phase in their lives . In this case having a husband and kids.

BUT… on the same hand some of these same indviduals have spend the past decade plus ,preaching about the evils of “ toxic masculinity “. :rofl::rofl::rofl:

It is my belief it has created a generation of males who at a certain level have been “ castrated “.

Thank God im older with raised kids now.

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Disagree

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Just all the dot connecting Jeans is doing. I don’t think it’s an official coined phrase, just what it looked like to me as he explained having everything lined up just right, non-starting due to unknowns that can’t be planned et cetera. That’s just not how things work.

Phrased another way, especially as the world seemingly becomes more transactional, it seems like people view life and relationships as a board game of sorts. Clear lines of play, identified and rigid roles et cetera. Then they live on the board and pick and choose accessories as they go - including a spouse, that compliment the preconceived game of play.

Alternatively, live your life in your lane and if/when you meet someone you appreciate and have that “special” feeling lean in and write your own game…together.

There’s some grey area of course. Standards, uncompromised goals et cetera but this uber planning, box checking shit is out of bounds to me.

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I think that this attitude going into marrage is setting up for a divorce. If you’re in box-checking mode with another person you will become unhappy with your spouse and relationship.

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Not directed at OP. Just came across it and thought it fit the discussion

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Agreed

What if you had a disabled child? I get that it’s not entirely the same topic, but in a sense it’s similar.

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Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face.” Mike Tyson

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I read this as “I want to father children and abandon them”

Is there another way to read this? Are you not intending to commit to your children your whole life?

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I read him as a little more along the lines of he’s happy to commit to children for life, but not a partner. Given his life experience it’s unlikely that he can conceive of the fact that to be committed to your children does include a fair degree of commitment to their mother.

Generally for the child’s wellbeing, the more the better. I personally believe that your relationship with your wife/spouse is the bedrock that allows for the raising of healthy well-rounded children. The two are inseparable for me and not having a good relationship with their mother is as far as I can see deeply damaging to the welfare of the children.

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