Good catch about the child ED, missed that.
Too long of silence, hope all is well.
[quote]Spock81 wrote:
[quote]EyeDentist wrote:
OK, Iāll talk you off the ledge.
I have been lurking on your threads a long time. Iām blown away by the searing, lancinating honesty of your writingāwhich, BTW, borders on brilliant at times. (I wouldnāt be surprised if a future archivist, after stumbling upon and reading your TN logs, decided to publish them as a poetry equivalent of āfound art.ā) I have never felt the need to intervene in your lifeāthat is, until you wrote the following:
āSnap at gabe, I understand, itās fine reallyā
No. Itās NOT fine. Really. Youāre going to snap at your child because you allowed yourself to develop an unhealthy attachment to an emotionally unavailable, drug-dealing scumbag? Youāre going to compromise your childās emotional well-being because THAT asshole is booty-txting you again? Are you kidding me?
You think you know pain and regretāyou donāt. Real pain and regret are what you will feel 10, 15 years from now, when you realize the toll your self-centeredness has taken upon your childās psycheāwhen he becomes an emotionally unavailable, drug-dealing scumbag.
You have a boy who needs you. You are his whole world. Where he is concerned, you are NOT allowed to be weak. This is his one childhoodāyou do not get a do-over if you eff it up. So stop wallowing in self-pity, get off the damn ledge, and be the parent he needs you to be.
[/quote]
I needed this, really. Thank you for the ass kick.
The day is not quite done yet, but I havenāt broken down and I donāt intend toā¦[/quote]
We all need it once in awhile.
For some perspective, there isnāt a parent in the world - not one - who hasnāt lost their patience, been grouchy with their kids, or let life stress spill over into their family life. Iām pretty sure EyeDentist is speaking from experience here. It makes us all feel like crap, and itās good to get some perspective on whatās important, then get your proverbial crap together.
Jenn, my oldest daughter used to projectile vomit all over herself, the carpet, me, about 5 times a day. I knew it was a medical problem she couldnāt control, and to top it off, sheās a completely sweet and innocent little mentally disabled kid. I still lost my patience with it sometimes. Itās ok to be discouraged and sad once in awhile, but a depressed and discouraged mom can be really bad news for kids. They totally sense it.
Anyway, youāve mentioned that you donāt have many female friends so I wanted to lend some support. EyeDentist is right. You canāt let this stuff with the idiot man get to you, and you will absolutely regret it if it begins to effect your son.
Honestly, I donāt know what it feels like to have my heart stepped on. I really donāt, and Iām sorry youāre hurting. I do know what itās like to have regrets when it comes to parenting. Iām pretty sure all of us who are parents have felt that. You absolutely did the right thing kicking that guy to the curb. If I understood it right that you found out he is/was dealing drugs, then he canāt ever be around your child anyway, and youāre a package deal. Thatās the truth. Never back down from that. Buck up and get tough. Things are going to get better from here.
edited
I hope you are okay, too long without any update.
Could be any number of things HKD
Most likely SPOCK took offense to her Motherhood being judged. No no no NO not acceptable
Possibly aware of the consensus that Marshall is a no good Degenerate and was embarrassed to face the music that she was sleeping with him again as his side piece while he tried jiggle being a new derelict Dad.
Did she sustain an injury and unable to train?
Her computer might have got a virus after excessive porn site viewing and is unable to log in to blog her workouts and melodrama.
I was afraid the drug dealer got her in trouble.
Spockie is probably just setting PRs with her deads and is too busy to post.
Happy belated Canada Day!
bump
Okay, Iāll respond to a bump once in a while.
Hereās the progress Iāve made with my physique since around April.
Iāve lost 8-9 pounds, and the veins that sprout out during shoulder days are 78% more noticeable.
Though I highly doubt most people really give a flying fuck about that and they just want an update on my train wreck of a love life, whoopee frigg, eh?
I am just a big joke to most people here even though I take training and dieting more seriously than anyone Iāve ever known.
Hey Reality star, whereās your photo update? Howās POX 90 treating you?
When is the last time you cheated on your diet? Cause last time I checked I havenāt had so much as a TABLESPOON more of sweet potato that I allotted myself for over a year and a halfā¦
Seems to me some people here think this site is primarily for following me around and trying to make me feel ashamed for my ailments and man-related issues.
Jenn, you fuck up! YOU HAVE G-DAMN FEELINGS FOR A LOSER !!! What a horrible person you are, shame shame shame, forget the 210% you put into the gym day in day our for years AND YEARS AND YEARS.
AND YEARS!!!
Forget the fact that you literally work so hard you make yourself CRY on leg day because youād rather suffer through the pain than suffer through mediocrity.
Forget the fact that you have more willpower, drive, determination, passion than most.
Youāre just disordered and donāt know the first thing about men.
Thatās all that I am. Thatās all I should be known for.
A failure because I fucked a fuck up. I fucked a loser. I couldnāt get over the loser that I fucked so letās all construct a dungeon built out of insults, insecurities, and shame. Heaven forbid I be human. Right K.F.P!? Surely you are perfect, without a single fault.
You must never have made a mistake in your entire life. If you had Iād be very surprised, not even a typo for you, nope.
How about you all worry more about your own life and stay the fuck out of my log from now until the end of time. Sounds good, eh? Great. Glad we could agree.
Iāll update in anther few months when Iāve made more progress, which isnāt even a question because Iām too stubborn to ever give up on this.
Bite me sweethearts
Spock-out.
1 Like
Youāre amazing at expressing your feelings in words, reallyā¦ But, did you actually read some of the posts from the people who were concerned about you and worried because you were silent?
Your back looks amazing, BTW!
Lurker on everyoneās log, not just yours, outā¦
[quote]OTHSteve wrote:
Youāre amazing at expressing your feelings in words, reallyā¦ But, did you actually read some of the posts from the people who were concerned about you and worried because you were silent?
Your back looks amazing, BTW!
Lurker on everyoneās log, not just yours, outā¦[/quote]
No, donāt get me wrong, I know there are some amazing people on here that I not only adore, but admire and look up to.
But why on earth are there some people on this site for the soul purpose of irritating me and putting me down in my own log ?!
And thanks
Great progress.
I am happy that you are unharmed. I was worried. But I also understand your perspective.
You are progressing nicely, keep at it. It was the sudden lack of posting that gets one to wonder what happened, now you say youāll post in awhile cool! Donāt know about anyone else but I follow your logs for the work you put in at the gym and also the events in your life and the way you explain them. Are you bat shit crazy, sure, but thatās what I like about you 
Iām still trying to figure out what the ass machine is you speak of?
[quote]Spock81 wrote:
Okay, Iāll respond to a bump once in a while.
Hereās the progress Iāve made with my physique since around April.
Iāve lost 8-9 pounds, and the veins that sprout out during shoulder days are 78% more noticeable.
Though I highly doubt most people really give a flying fuck about that and they just want an update on my train wreck of a love life, whoopee frigg, eh?
ā¦
Bite me sweethearts
Spock-out.
[/quote]
Jen,
The biggest thing to learn in life is to learn from your mistakes and move on.
Trust me, I have plenty of the fuck up moments in my life too.
You canāt dwell on them.
Suck it up, buttercup, train harder and set higher goals.
It all comes back to the classic SAMA advice:
Do more deadlifts.
2b
[quote]Spock81 wrote:
And as god (Eminem) as my witness, by the end of this log I will look like a figure athlete.
(!!!)
BYE[/quote]
Nice progress, but did you ever see that psychiatrist or psychologist? Also, why are you so round up over the druggie? Block his number, and pretend he doesnāt exist before you no longer exist (i.e end up dead). I am sure a hot lady like you could do a lot better than him anyway.
[quote]Spock81 wrote:
But why on earth are there some people on this site for the soul purpose of irritating me and putting me down in my own log ?!
[/quote]
Iāll take a stab at answering this.
None of the shitty logs attract trolls, and very few of the good ones have troll accounts that do nothing but post on their log for nearly a year.
Consider it a badge of honor. Youāre clearly doing something notable if people like that are crawling out of the woodwork just to piss in your coffee.
Outstanding progress!
Edit:
I feel an apology is in order. I donāt really believe there is such a thing as a shitty log. I think anyone who takes the time to write down what they do and put it out on a site like T-Nation is doing something admirable.
Fantastic progress.
People will comment on everything you write here. This includes your life issues. I think itās also worth pointing out that most people where respectful and helpful in their replies.
Bottom line: youāre obviously rocking the whole gym+diet bit. Keep doing that. Also, keep being a good mother and keep that fuckup out of your life. No respectable poster on here will drag you through the dirt for having made mistakes in the past. Whatās crucial is not to repeat them in the future.
What Nighthawkz saidā¦
Iām carrying the scars of 50 years worth of mistakes on both my body and my psyche, and itās pretty clear to me that Iām nowhere near done f*ing up. As long as you can keep on picking yourself up, dusting yourself off and moving forward, the mistakes are just bumps in the road, learning opportunities if you choose to take it that way. Youāre doing so much right, donāt let the mistakes derail you.
Glad to see you posted, I was worried about you. You look great. I enjoy your posts so please continue to post.
