Seriously? To me there are a lot of douche bells ringing here. You want to be a side chick, fine, but be sure you know that’s what’s going to happen.
Stay away from him Jenn not your cup of tea. Talk to him when you’re together at work. But don’t date him please. Disaster.
Your son is growing up, becoming more independent, wants to be with his pals and do his own stuff. Let him.
Have a day every month or fortnight where you’d be with him for a couple of hours. You could go shopping a new fancy shirt with him, have a snack along the way, ask him what’s going on in his life. Ask him to think about what he’d like to do next time. Pretend that you have other things to do than being with him always, that way the day becomes a little special, to both of you.
Treat him as your son not your friend.
I’ve seen to many parents ruining it trying to be best friends, parents are not and will never be.
We’re a father or a mother that’s our role in life. Our children will love and respect us for that.
But , to paint a better picture, he is truly the kindest , most considerate human I’ve ever met.
I think he’s doing this for my benefit. He read my whole blog over , multiple times. He knows I have social anxiety , and am extremely lonely. He has suggested we go for a walk and that type of thing because of what he feels to be in my comfort zone.
Maybe he has the strongest marriage on earth, what do I know.
But trust me , he doesn’t have a cruel bone in his body
But I wouldn’t be dating him , he wants to be my friend.
So all I will have is social outings with my son once a month?
This is the first time I’ve been so compatible with an adult in my life. I could be throwing away a chance at a great friendship.
He is not only very patient and kind with me , but with everyone in the office.
He would never cheat, and I think because of that, the thought of this being weird hasnt even crossed his mind.
Well, if you’re lucky you stumbled across a gem.
If I’m right though, well, I hope I’m not.
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You might be lucky Jenn, ask him to go home and meet his wife for coffee or something.
Anyway be very careful
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Forgot to actually update LOL
Paused squats
135lbs x 4
155lbs x 4
175lbs x 2
185lbs x 2
195lbs x 2
205lbs x 2 x 2
Military press
70lbs x 4
80lbs x 4
85lbs x 4
75lbs x 2 x 4
Tons of shoulder shit
Ass shit
Stepmill
BY3
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Stay away from him. This married guy, no matter what. Be cool at work but spending time alone with him is not a good idea at all.
I have been on both sides of this as a wife ( once upon a time) to a guy who had many female “friends”. It hurt my feeling so much having my then husband close to a women…and it also turned out these female friends more then a few times were friends with benefits.
It’s crossing a boundary being intimate even it is emotionally with a married man. It sounds like he is trying to do this. It hurt me even more as a wife having another women be my then husband’s best friend then being cheated on.
I also had a married guy who wanted persistantly to be my friend in a similar manner that you describe. After being on the wife side of this myself and feeling that pain I could never do that to his wife or put that strain on his marriage. Stay away!
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This is really well put.
As a married man, any deliberate action to put myself one on one with another woman is absolutely out of bounds.
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@Mod_Starr is it possible to delete the last like 10 posts in my log? Out if respect to my friend I dont think I should have brought this up.
I’m sorry…
Maybe more like last 13
This guy has got you wrapped around his little finger. Be fucking careful. You’re a decent person but you attract douchevags like nothing I’ve ever seen.
You’ve given this dude every weakness you have and a basic blueprint of how to manipulate you. You deserve better than this.
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You haven’t written anything wrong or offensive in your log about this guy you just wrote the facts. If he has good intentions he won’t be offended by this.
For me when I feel I have to hold back sharing information about a man its been a red flag. I’ll back off since its your log and you should be able to say what ends up in it. We all care about you and know everyone has blind spots and we know you’d do the same for us!
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I feel like we’re being scandalous, when it’s so far from the truth. I’m feeling guilty over nothing.
I’ve been depressed and having suicidal thoughts for months and have zero friends. I literally get ignored by everyone I try to reach out to when my thoughts scare me.
I finally met a person who cares for me and sees I’m struggling. There is zero sexual chemistry between us, none.
Is it so wrong to go for a walk with this person after work ?
Should I just spend the night alone thinking about how much I want to die instead?
He is A WONDERFUL MAN.
He is not interested in me sexually. He is not trying to get in my pants. He is trying to be my fucking friend!!!
I’m sorry , I know none has any ill will towards me.
I just can’t snap out of how horrible I feel.
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My dearest Jenn I’m sorry to read that you struggle so much.
You seem like the nicest person and I think you deserve better, than where you are now.
If he cares and if he is real, then go for a walk and talk with him.
But when you’ve done some walks and talks and you’re sure it’s the real thing, then ask him if you could meet his wife for a cup of coffee and a talk.
Just to be sure his wife supports it and knows about you and him spending time together.
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You need a women to speak to, not a married man. It’s not OK. It might be OK if you get clearance from his wife, as Mort suggested. But it’s still not optimal for you OR his family.
As mentioned above, you will be having intimate conversation with him. Maybe not sexually, but emotionally. That’s mostly off limits when one is married. Will his wife even know this is going on? You will be drawing from his emotional bank, which is partially owned by his wife. Is that fair to him and her?
Are you seeing a psychologist regularly? A good one?
Do you believe in god? There’s a bigger calling than yourself. Once you truly believe this, a lot of pressure just vanishes. God will take on this pain and suffering from you, if you let him. Are you a member of a good church? A church family brings a huge level of support, especially in difficult times.
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Also, dont delete your posts. It’s good you’re having this discussion. This is how you get past your current state. You have a lot of level headed people here willing to help. We all struggle day to day with something, trust me!
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Don’t feel horrible, you didn’t do anything bad if you are still considering things and being thoughtful about your actions! Everyone can understand trying to get relief from pain, this way might not be the best option for you.
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Idk if it would make you feel any better, but you can always talk to me. I’m on Instagram and Twitter. If you’d like my contact info on there.
I know we don’t live close, but i find that doesn’t matter.
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