I’m a bad man. What’s funny is I knew it when I was writing it (12), just didn’t GAF. The other is just a typo. Should have proofread.
Still, zero fucks given.
2 Likes
K yesterday
Front squats
95lbs x 4
115lbs x 4
125lbs x 4
135lbs x 3 x 4
120lbs x 4
Bench press
95lbs x 5
115lbs x 3
125lbs x 1
130lbs x 1
135lbs x 2 x 1
Leg spreader
55lbs x 40
70lbs x 20
85lbs x 10
100lbs x 8
Barbell between legs split squats
30lbs x 3 x 10
Bulgarian split squats
20lbs x 2 x 8 or 10 I dunno
Single leg ext
40lbs x 10
30lbs x 2 x 10
Stepmill intervals x 10
I have no idea if my front squats were great or awful. I’m hormonal and my brain tells me everything sucks right now .
BYE
1 Like
K good
Squats
135lbs x 4
155lbs x 4
175lbs x 4
185lbs x 4
195lbs x 3 x 4
Paused bench
95lbs x 5
105lbs x 3
115lbs x 1
120lbs x 1
125lbs x 4 x 1
Bench blockz
130lbs x 2 x 6
Leg spreader
160lbs x 20
130lbs x 2 x 12
Tri ext
Rear delt shit
Incline press
Step mill intervals x 20
BYE
K good
Deadlifts
135lbs x 5
185lbs x 3
205lbs x 3
Belt
235lbs x 3
250lbs x 3
Bent over row
100lbs x 12
105lbs x 2 x 8
Leg spreader
80lbs x 50
65lbs x 50
Two d handle lat pull down
85lbs x 8
70lbs x 8 , x 10
Foot on seat lat pull to me
55lbs x 8
40lbs x 8 , x 10
Seated leg curl
40lbs x 25
T bar row
Bar plus
50lbs x 8 paused
55lbs x 8 pause
60lbs x 12
Lat pull down
27.5lbs x 12
32.5lbs x 12
35lbs x 8
25lbs x 15
Db row
45lbs x 8
30lbs x 10 paused
Ropey bi curl
15lbs x 2 x 12
Seated row cable
100lbs x 6
70lbs x 8
Lat pull down machine
27.5lbs x 2 x 8
20lbs x 8
Barbell curl
40lbs x 8
30lbs x 10
20lbs x 15
Hammer curls
15lbs x 8
10lbs x 8 , x 12
Stepmill intervals x 20
BYE
2 Likes
K yesterday
Paused squats
135lbs x 5
160lbs x 3
180lbs x 3
190lbs x 3
200lbs x 2 x 3
Military press
75lbs x 4
85lbs x 2
90lbs x 2 x 2
80lbs x 2 x 2
Leg spreader
X 4 drop sets that I completely forget
Landmine press
Bar plus
15lbs x 8
20lbs x 8
10lbs x 10
Seated db press
27.5lbs x 2 x 12
1 drop Arnold press 12.5lbs x 12
Face pulls
Rear delt db fly
Lateral raises
Plate raises
Stepmill intervals x 10
Wow I forget half my shit yesterday
Good workout
I might change front squats to paused front squats. I’m really bad at them and they aren’t progressing. Same exact problem I had with military press. Once I got to a certain weight it always felt heavy, always stalled . Until I started briefly pausing it at the bottom and now its finally moving forward for me.
Sometimes lifts need to be treated differently than others to progress. I mean, duh, I know, but I mean I’ve kind of gotten a feel for what works better for my main lifts and what doesnt
Example back offs feel awful for paused squats and deadlifts. They seem to be progressing quickly with little volume. Volume for them feels like unessessary work and body stress.
Back offs for front squats and military press feel great, maybe they are to be treated the same.
Idk
K bye
1 Like
I see you learning all about training and stuff.
1 Like
K no idea how I feel about paused front squats. I feel like I’m doing them wrong ie: not perfectly, but i doubt I did the not paused ones perfectly either so wtf. I def cant keep my back like the oly lifters, but I do have good mobility aside from that, so I doubt they are as atrocious as my brain wants me to believe . W/E
Paused front squats
95lbs x 6
115lbs x 3 x 6
120lbs x 6
Probably too light really, not like it was pleasant, but not hard.
Bench press
95lbs x 4
115lbs x 4
125lbs x 2 x 4
All felt heavy
Barbell between legs split squats
40lbs x 3 x 8
Bulgarian split squats
15lbs x 2 x 12
Leg spreader
70lbs x 25
85lbs x 20
100lbs x 15
Leg ext
70lbs x 3 x 10
Step mill intervals x 10
Ya so I dunno… i find this workout always to be a downer but i have no idea what to do instead. I’m already doing tons of low bar posterior chain stuff and very little quad stuff I’m just bad at it so obviously I have to do it, but I’d prefer to do something that doesnt make me miserable.
High bar paused was ruled out because it gave me that hip pinch quad shooty pain I used to have.
IDK!!!
By3!
Anyway so here’s some more pity party shit since I’m clearly still depressed…
So theres corporate challenge stuff going on at work . Our company plays against other companies in a variety of sports for fun times.
I am not doing it because our team captain is the guy I was doing who hates my guts.
I’m horribly sad about this. I didnt think I’d care, but I care a lot.
This would have been good for me I’m so isolated at home and gabe is gone for 10 days on a trip.
So suck it up whatever , play with someone who hates you. Like maybe a confident person could, but I wouldn’t enjoy it. I would feel sad and insecure.
Which is how I feel now anyway…
K whatever.
Depression cont.
K
Squats
135lbs x 4
155lbs x 4
175lbs x 2
185lbs x 2
195lbs x 2
205lbs x 2 x 2
Paused front squats
95lbs x 3
115lbs x 3
125lbs x 3
130lbs x 3
Bench press
105lbs x 5
115lbs x 5
120lbs x 2 x 5
Belt
120lbs x 6 the 6th rep was the slowest rep of my life
Leg spreader
Tri ext
Stepmill intervals x 20
Bulgarian split squats
17.5lbs x 3 x 8
K ya I dunno trying to change shit bench is going backwards I need to give it it’s own day so I’ll put front squats here and have Thursday for bench priority.
Last night I was crying uncontrollably and was having suicidal thoughts. Not like I’d do anything, but my brain repeating no one would care if we died over and over is hard to listen to…
My life is good and I still get this way, brain chemistry is unfair and stupid.
I messaged my guy best friend from work and I told him about the other guy I was seeing and how I felt and it was such a relief to talk to someone about it.
He was so sweet “why would anyone not like you?!? You’re such a likable person!”
Sometimes you just need to hear that kinda thing
Anyway I hope my depression passes soon. I dont like to just sit around and let it engulf me. I really like to figure out ways to improve myself so I can feel happier , but sometimes just being less cruel to yourself is the only thing you really need to do .
Here’s today’s shit
4 Likes
K today
Deadlifts
135lbs x 5
185lbs x 5
205lbs x 5
Belt
230lbs x 2 x 5
Bent over row
105lbs x 8
110lbs x 2 x 8
Leg spreader
60lbs x 50
90lbs x 25
105lbs x 15
120lbs x 10
Two d handle lat pull down
85lbs x 8
55lbs x 2 x 12
Foot on seat lat pull to me
55lbs x 8
40lbs x 2 x 12
Seated leg curl
40lbs x 12
55lbs x 8
T bar row
Bar plus
55lbs x 2 x 10 paused
X 15
Lat pull down
27.5lbs x 2 x 10
35lbs x 8
25lbs x 15
Db row
50lbs x 6
30lbs x 8 paused
Seated row cable
85lbs x 10
55lbs x 12
Front lat pull down machine
30lbs x 10 , x 12
25lbs x 10
Ropey bi curl
10lbs x 2 x 12
Barbell curl ss hammer curl
30lbs 15lbs
X 10 x 10
X 10 x 10
X 10 10lbs x 10
Step mill intervals x 20
K good.
Sorted out my new routine with moving front squats to Saturdays and will mostly do leg accessories and higher rep lighter bench
My old front squat day will focus on heavier paused bench and board press with chest accessories.
Man I haven’t had a workout day without heavy squats or deads in a long time. Actually looking forward to having this change
Hopefully bring my bench up this way.
K BYE
1 Like
K today
Paused squats
135lbs x 5
155lbs x 5
175lbs x 5
185lbs x 5
195lbs x 2 x 5
Military press
75lbs x 6
80lbs x 2 x 6
70lbs x 6
Leg spreader
85lbs x 25
100lbs x 15
115lbs x 10
70lbs x 15
Landmine press
Bar plus
10lbs x 15
15lbs x 2 x 8
Seated db press
35lbs x 6
27.5lbs x 8
25lbs x 10
15lbs x 12 Arnold press
Seated db lateral raises
5lbs x 30
Db resr felt fly 5lbs x 30
Bent arm db lateral raises 5lbs x30
Pinkies up db lateral raises 5lbs x 30
Plate raises 25lbs x 15
Db front raises 10lbs x 15
Face pulls
20lbs x 15
25lbs x 10
20lbs x 10
15lbs x 12
Step mill intervals x 10
I LOVE ELTON JOHN
Bye
1 Like
K yesterday
Paused bench
95lbs x 4
105lbs x 4
115lbs x 2
120lbs x 2
125lbs x 2
115lbs x 2 x 2
Bench blockz
130lbs x 5
135lbs x 3
140lbs x 3
Chest shit
Tri shit
Leg spreader
Intervals
Bye
2 Likes
K great
Squats
135lbs x 6
155lbs x 6
175lbs x 6
185lbs x 2 x 6
Ezz
Paused front squats
95lbs x 5
115lbs x 3
125lbs x 1
135lbs x 1
140lbs x 1
105lbs x 8 not paused
Leg spreader
70lbs x 30
100lbs x 20
130lbs x 10
160lbs x 8
Leg ext
30lbs x 3 x 8 paused single leg
20lbs x 8
Ass machine 2 x 10
Bench press
105lbs x 4 x 8
Easy AF
Step mill intervals x 20
I’ve fallen in love so hard with rocketman
I go through withdrawal if I dont watch clips every hour
The soundtrack must be in the car
On my ipod
Pictures must be visible
My phone back ground
Desktop.
I’ve never felt this way about a movie before idk
And I hope you dont mind
I hope you dont mind
That I put down in words
Now wonderful life is while your in the world
Your song I think everyone has a person in mind when they hear your song
My your song is my man friend from work
I told him so , I says you’re my your song
He was very flattered
It’s nice to have a friendship soul mate like that.
Like Elton and Bernie
Which I learnt by watching rocketman
This log will now be 30 percent squats 70 percent rocketman
BYE
1 Like
K today
Deadlifts
135lbs x 4
185lbs x 2
205lbs x 2
Belt
235lbs x 2
250lbs x 2 x 2
Quite easy
Bent over row
100lbs x 12
105lbs x 2 x 10
T bar row
Bar plus
50lbs x 10 paused
60lbs x 8 paused
75lbs x 8
Leg spreader
65lbs x 100
Leg curl
60lbs x 8
45lbs x something
Lat pull down
27.5lbs x 2 x 15
32.5 x 15
Two d handle lat pull down ss foot on seat lat pull to me
85lbs 55lbs
X 6 x 6
70lbs 40lbs
X 8 x 8
55lbs 25lbs
X 10 x 10
Ropey bi curl
10lbs x 15
15lbs x 12
Seated row cable
X 2 sets of something
Stepmill intervals x 20
Db row
40lbs x 10
30lbs x 10
Barbell curl
40lbs x 8
30lbs x 2 x 12
Hammer curls
20lbs x 8
15lbs x 2 x 10
Lat pull down machine
27.5lbs x 3 x 8
Rocketman
K
Bye
1 Like
Just watched the rock after I read this and noticed a rocket man scene which made it all the funnier. Also wish I worked as hard as you at the gym your logs always good for a bit extra motivation
1 Like
Wow, thanks! I appreciate you saying that 
So re: my continued depression
My son came home this weekend after a 9 day long trip. Hard for me each night, being home alone all day, alone all night. On Sunday we went to this dino expo thing and I was really excited to hang with him again, but of course the whole time he acts like a snotty teen. Not interested in the kiddie stuff and being rude at all my suggestions. Fine, I get it, you’re too old now, but you insisted I spend 70 dollars on these tickets , why be rude to me?
So I die a little inside as each weekend goes by where he seems less and less thrilled by my company , and the harsh reality of our new inevitable relationship during teenage years continues to smack me in the face.
I constantly fight to urge to not quit powerlifting and become obsessive with weight loss and bodybuilding again. As if this is the answer to my misery even known the route cause of my depression isn’t being overweight.
And what then? If I’m still depressed and 10lbs lighter ? Would the key be to curing my depression be strength gain even though my misery wasnt caused by weakness?
Theres no end to this, it would seem. I cry all the time, between calls for no reason, before bed, doing stretches.
I have no idea what I’m supposed to do about this.
Fine get out more, meet people , but go fucking where? With who? Make friends , again where , with who?
W/E
BYe
1 Like
K good bench
Paused bench
95lbs x 5
115lbs x 2 x 5
105lbs x 2 x 5
Bench blockz
125lbs x 5
130lbs x 3
135lbs x 1
140lbs x 1
145lbs x 1
150lbs x 1
135lbs x 5
Leg spreader
70lbs x 20
85lbs x 20
100lbs x 20
Stepmill intervals x 10
Incline db press 30lbs x 2 x 12
Face pulls
30lbs x 10
25lbs x 10
20lbs x 10
15lbs x 15
Ropey tri ext
15lbs x 10
10lbs x 12
Rear delt db fly 10lbs x 25
Db tri ext 7.5lbs x 15
K done
Well staff assembly today and low and behold first day I felt happy in forever. No workout OCD,. No anxiety, miserable thoughts. Just happy to be with people
.
Sat with my man friend from work NOW
We are going to hang out after work Friday
I have talked to 2 married friends who say this is fine and one who says it’s not.
What’s your take?
Obliviously if no romantic feelings are involved it should be fine , but how do I know he has none ? We talk a lot, and hes very kind to me, but hes such a pure honest person. I cant seem him spending time alone with a woman if he had romantic feelings.
K
ByE
Yes I guess my only concern is not just that he’s married, but that he doesnt talk about his wife that much. They never seem to do anything together. He always has to go solo he says etc etc . So its like ok does she know we might hang and is cool with all this or not ?