Training/Nutrition/Girlfriends

Off Topic
1

Just wanted to know if other guys (or girls) have this problem. Basically, I have been working out for a couple years, and while Im not perfect, Im pretty steady and consistent with my nutrition…even when I go out. I rarely drink, or anything like that. At any rate, this has become a “issue” in my relationship. My girlfriend (who is blessed with great genetics) says i “care too much about calories instead of just having fun” and that other people may percieve me as uptight and not be comfortable to eat what they want around me during get togethers. I just dont get it. I never say anything around others about bad eating habits. If anything, people say stuff to me. We go out somewhere, and everyone will order the “super fried blank” or burgers and fries, and fatty foods, and I order grilled chicken dinner with veggies and brown rice or something healthy. This leads to comments like, “damn man, let loose…youre out” blah blah blah. Im fuckin tired of it. Why dont people understand? Its hard to even go out and have a good time, not because I dont drink myself stupid, but because of all the comments from the girlfriend. I mean EVERYTHING else with us is perfect but lately, she has even accused me of having an “image disorder” or an “unhealthy obssession with watching what I eat.”

She brings it up in such a way that i have been thinking, “maybe i do have a problem…” but do I really? As stupid a question as this may be, how do some of you guys just “live your life” without sacrificing too much on nutrition or gym time? Im 24 and I know Im only 24 once so I should enjoy life, etc etc…but on the same note, Im only 24 and my metabolism is fast right now and my body will burn fat and build muscle a little easier than it would at 44. I figure, work hard now, play hard later.

How do some of you deal with your partners families horrible eating habits? For example, you go to a family party/event/dinner/etc and all you find is macaroni salad, ribs, burgers, potato salad, chips, baked beans, etc.

I know this post is really loaded, but its kind of a “loaded” problem. Im sure some of you must deal with these types of problems. Any and all advice/input is greatly appreciated.

2

When I eat shitty and drink too much, I feel like shit and my training tanks. When I eat healthy and save my drinking for more important occasions(friends 21st’s, awesome parties, etc.) not like every weekends sporting event, going out to eat, or some random party, I feel like my progress is not hindered at all(or hardly, a fair sacrifice IMO).

As far as going out and eating is concerned, I usually eat fairly healthy. If people give you shit about what you eat, they probably aren’t great friends, no offense. “The people that care don’t matter, and the people that matter don’t care.” Easily applies here where your girlfriend is calling you out on following a healthy lifestyle. You’ve made yourself some sort of goals(stronger/more muscle, w/e) and you have sacrificed in order to achieve this goal. Just like if you wanted good grades in college, you needed to skip a Saturday party to be focused all day Sunday to work on studying. People are used to hearing the excuse of staying in cause you got a big paper due the next day, what 95% of people aren’t used to is hearing, “well I want to try really hard tommorow and in order for me to do that, I need to not drink tonight.”

Let your girlfriend know what you want, and that it’s just another one of your goals, thats all. You don’t have a body problem, most likely, you just don’t want to look like average joe… thats a good thing.

GL man, hope you get more advice and can think stuff out.

3

You’re not alone with this problem, just keep doing what you are doing and eventually either the people around you will learn not to sabotage your progress or if worse comes to worse you might have to decide if you want people who create negativity for you in your life…

4

I also found that over time its something that people will just poke a bit of fun at but get over in the end.

5

Speak it. I hear “Chicken and brocolli again?” every single day at work. It gets old, but people will also eventually ask how they can lose weight, get in shape, too. Lead by example.

6

I can pretty much garuntee you that everyone on this has experienced something similar to your situation atleast once. I know it happens to me all the time.

As far as the gf goes, do you really want to be with a girl that questions your lifestyle? That’s what it is, health, nutrition, and weightlifting is a lifestyle. I’m sure if she’s a good understanding girl you can explain that to her and she’ll be much more comfortable with it, or atleast tolerate it. If she doesn’t get it, then she doesn’t deserve to, and you should re-evaluate whethere she’s really the right one for you or not.

-dizzle

7

Yeah I’ve had this before. I just smile and laugh and say something like “Well it’s what I like to do. What are you having?”

When people see I’m not uptight about it, they tend to relax.

8

[quote]A-Dizz wrote:
As far as the gf goes, do you really want to be with a girl that questions your lifestyle? If she doesn’t get it, re-evaluate whethere she’s really the right one for you[/quote]
If she can’t bother to support your diet goals and defend you when others dog you in such social settings, what about the future “big picture” goals like career, home, kids etc?..In 10 years, do you want to come home to a 250 lb version of Peg Bundy laying on the couch eating Cheetos’ with screaming McDonalds eating brats in back?..

9

Even if I see your point,I’d probably be one of those guys who tell you stuff like “let loose…”.
Anyways just relax and pretend you like your broccolis and mineral water better than a big juicy tasty cheeseburger with fries and an ice cold beer

10

[quote]49ersFan81 wrote:

How do some of you deal with your partners families horrible eating habits? For example, you go to a family party/event/dinner/etc and all you find is macaroni salad, ribs, burgers, potato salad, chips, baked beans, etc.

[/quote]

Dude, if you’re passing up ribs and burgers you have some major problems.

11

49ers,

Your girl feels fat because you work so hard to stay in great shape.

You know how they don’t like to eat more than their guy at a restaruant? It’s the same thing for her all the time.

she feels threatened.

Arguing about it won’t do anything. Just reassure her that she is beautiful and let her know that you appreciate her support in something you find important and have been doing for years rather than criticism.

Play it right and she’ll just feel guilty. You’ll probably end up getting a blow job.

12

I went into my college of ed yesterday and saw this old guy that’s been in a few of my classes. He, along with everyone else used to see me eat plain oats, boiled chicken, veggies, or cans of tuna in class. Everyone would make fun of me.

Just yesterday when I saw him, I just politely asked how he was doing, and after saying good he asked if i’m still eating oats and hay. I laughed and jokingly said oh yeah, it’s only gettin’ worse! He goes “I have 2 words for you, ‘get help’”. I was like haha yeah yeah i kno…him interrupting “get help”.

Fun times.

13

Wow, thanks for all the replies. I appreciate everyones feedback. I think TexasGuy hit it on the money though. It doesnt help that my girlfriend is a psych major and everything is pretty much a “disorder” to those people.

I think Ill take the casual approach as far as responding. Lately, since its been getting to me, I respond to others in a “dude shut up!” fashion. I think this just gives others the idea that, “see all that dieting and working out is making him ‘rage.’ He’s probably on steroids now!” blah blah.

TexasGuy I read your advice and went along with that approach. Man you were right on. She does feel a bit insecure when she eats around me. She is in a sorority and while she looks fine, she has put on that extra beer weight. Those 5 vanity lbs on girls is a killer for them. The last party I accompanied her to she had 4 bud lights and i had 2 sugar free red bulls. I got called “uptight.” Thats pretty much what led me to post.

Anyway, thanks for all the advice. I guess in the end its just human nature that people are “against” what is different. We live in a society where we’re told, “just be happy with who you are…” and self-improvement is translated into "dude, you have an obsession or image disorder. Its hard to remember that obesity, being overweight, and eating like shit, and not working out, is the overwhelming majority of our peers and countrymen/women. Basically, we’re the minority, and i guess this just comes with the territory.

14

[quote]49ersFan81 wrote:
The last party I accompanied her to she had 4 bud lights and i had 2 sugar free red bulls.

[/quote]

The real question is, why did you have red bulls and not Spike?

15

The most important thing to do is not act like you’re better than everyone else. Not saying you are doing that but I know people who get mad at the “detractors”, who usually just don’t understand and honestly want to help that person have a good time.

When I’m out at a party and I turn down a drink, I don’t act like I’m better for refusing, I just laugh and make some stupid joke. If I’m ordering something healthy when everbody else is getting fried appetizers, I just say I don’t feel like something that heavy. I think it is important not to judge somebody else because they are making different life choices.

When it comes to your girlfriend, that is a little different story. Somebody that you are very close with like that should understand why you want to work hard and push yourself. Maybe try to relate to her; is there nothing that she challenges herself in? Does she ever make sacrifices for work, school, etc. etc.?

16

If she is making that big of deal out of it, to the point of accusing you of have some kind of problem, the woman is out her damn mind. It’s one thing to kid and tease(well all go through this every now and then), but if ever cause some kind of flat out argument or real problems, that is BS.

And it is ok to have some fun and eat like a Manimal every now and then. Does wonders regardless of your goals. Believe me, I got screwed in the metabolism department too, but even a night of pizza, wings, and beer while dieting gives your metabolism a well needed jolt.

17

I have a worse problem. I cannot physically eat fried/greasy food (I discuss this in my profile). When my girl and I go out, she is usually the first to point to the menu and say “Baby, here’s something you can eat.”

People ask and I explain. They usually get interested.

18

[quote]jtrinsey wrote:
The most important thing to do is not act like you’re better than everyone else. Not saying you are doing that but I know people who get mad at the “detractors”, who usually just don’t understand and honestly want to help that person have a good time.

When I’m out at a party and I turn down a drink, I don’t act like I’m better for refusing, I just laugh and make some stupid joke. If I’m ordering something healthy when everbody else is getting fried appetizers, I just say I don’t feel like something that heavy. I think it is important not to judge somebody else because they are making different life choices.[/quote]

That is some worldly wisdom right there.

19

[quote]49ersFan81 wrote:
Just wanted to know if other guys (or girls) have this problem. Basically, I have been working out for a couple years, and while Im not perfect, Im pretty steady and consistent with my nutrition…even when I go out. I rarely drink, or anything like that. At any rate, this has become a “issue” in my relationship. My girlfriend (who is blessed with great genetics) says i “care too much about calories instead of just having fun” and that other people may percieve me as uptight and not be comfortable to eat what they want around me during get togethers. I just dont get it. I never say anything around others about bad eating habits. If anything, people say stuff to me. We go out somewhere, and everyone will order the “super fried blank” or burgers and fries, and fatty foods, and I order grilled chicken dinner with veggies and brown rice or something healthy. This leads to comments like, “damn man, let loose…youre out” blah blah blah. Im fuckin tired of it. Why dont people understand? Its hard to even go out and have a good time, not because I dont drink myself stupid, but because of all the comments from the girlfriend. I mean EVERYTHING else with us is perfect but lately, she has even accused me of having an “image disorder” or an “unhealthy obssession with watching what I eat.”

She brings it up in such a way that i have been thinking, “maybe i do have a problem…” but do I really? As stupid a question as this may be, how do some of you guys just “live your life” without sacrificing too much on nutrition or gym time? Im 24 and I know Im only 24 once so I should enjoy life, etc etc…but on the same note, Im only 24 and my metabolism is fast right now and my body will burn fat and build muscle a little easier than it would at 44. I figure, work hard now, play hard later.

How do some of you deal with your partners families horrible eating habits? For example, you go to a family party/event/dinner/etc and all you find is macaroni salad, ribs, burgers, potato salad, chips, baked beans, etc.

I know this post is really loaded, but its kind of a “loaded” problem. Im sure some of you must deal with these types of problems. Any and all advice/input is greatly appreciated.

[/quote]

People who respond to your hard work by taking jabs at you are simply toxic. The only reason they would ridicule you is to make you stop working so hard. These people feel threatened by your progress and hope that you do not succeed. Ignore them or find new friends.

Your girlfriend on the other hand is simply becoming insecure. You’re probably looking better and better with your work and she feels like the power in the relationship is shifting. She hopes you fail as well. You definitely need to have a chat with her about your goals and how she needs to support you and help you attain them.

20

Girlfriends/training/nutrition don’t mix well together! In my experience when dieting and training and with a girlfriend they always complain that i’m too serious about looking good and eating good and it doesn’t matter what i look like to them. But it matters to me! They say i do it to get other girls attension and stuff like that.

I’m no Brad Pitt or Arnold and i’m in no way trying to impress any girls. I do it cause i enjoy it! It takes away stress and keeps me focused to do my best in what i chose to achieve!! BLAH, BLAH, BLAH! I know i’m venting about it but my point is a majority of the people you come across just won’t understand why you do certain things and you don’t have to explain yourself.