[quote]49ersFan81 wrote:
Wow, thanks for all the replies. I appreciate everyones feedback. I think TexasGuy hit it on the money though. It doesnt help that my girlfriend is a psych major and everything is pretty much a “disorder” to those people.

I think Ill take the casual approach as far as responding. Lately, since its been getting to me, I respond to others in a “dude shut up!” fashion. I think this just gives others the idea that, “see all that dieting and working out is making him ‘rage.’ He’s probably on steroids now!” blah blah.

TexasGuy I read your advice and went along with that approach. Man you were right on. She does feel a bit insecure when she eats around me. She is in a sorority and while she looks fine, she has put on that extra beer weight. Those 5 vanity lbs on girls is a killer for them. The last party I accompanied her to she had 4 bud lights and i had 2 sugar free red bulls. I got called “uptight.” Thats pretty much what led me to post.

Anyway, thanks for all the advice. I guess in the end its just human nature that people are “against” what is different. We live in a society where we’re told, “just be happy with who you are…” and self-improvement is translated into "dude, you have an obsession or image disorder. Its hard to remember that obesity, being overweight, and eating like shit, and not working out, is the overwhelming majority of our peers and countrymen/women. Basically, we’re the minority, and i guess this just comes with the territory.


I’m glad I could help. Understanding what it is that drives a woman to comment is more important to figure out and address than the comment itself. Girls want to be sexy for their guys and in general. When you are being healthier than them they don’t feel like they are living up to your presumed standards and that bugs them if they like you. Reassuring her that you like her for who she is and stay healthy for yourself will make her feel better though you’ll probably have to do it often. Chicks are pretty needy and very insecure.

To offer a little more advice, understand your girl does care what you think about her and that says a lot. Just comfort her when she seems to be grumpy/moody etc. 90% of the time a woman’s mood swings stem from one insecurity or another. They are very fragile little creatures.

And it is good to let comments roll in general. Every male with a pair of real nuts wants to be muscular, strong and alpha-ish. When people like us are around most guys feel puny and inadequate, so they try to belittle the guy with real muscles and if they get you to crack you become the butt of their jokes rather than a threat. Next time, just mention you like your physique and would rather have muscles than a gut. They’ll probably shut up a little. If they keep grumbling it’s because they recognize you are more of a man than them so who cares.

[quote]Addiction wrote:
You’re not alone with this problem, just keep doing what you are doing and eventually either the people around you will learn not to sabotage your progress or if worse comes to worse you might have to decide if you want people who create negativity for you in your life…[/quote]

This is good advice. I would just add that many people feel uncomfortable around people who live straight. In their mind it seems to highlight their less then perfect lifestyle. Many people may even feel you are judging them even if you don’t say a word. People who are secure in who they are and what they do will not be threatened by your lifestyle structure.

So it might help to make sure you are acting as if you don’t care about their eating/drinking and that you don’t have a problem with it at all.

[quote]TFly wrote:
People who respond to your hard work by taking jabs at you are simply toxic. [/quote]

I disagree. I think the whole “toxic person” article was a very dangerous one in some respects. I totally understand the value of surrounding yourself with people with similar goals or who appreciate yours. As somebody who’s been involved in competitive athletics my whole life, I know firsthand the value of a team; whether they wear the same jersey or simply are the people you hang out with.

However, when I go to a party and my friends try to get me to drink (which I do not), I don’t make a snide comment on how superior I am. I just realize the thought process that is going on:

1.) I am having a great time!
2.) I am drinking!
3.) Oh no my friend isn’t drinking!
4.) If he drinks he’ll be having even more fun!
5.) I’m going to try to get him to drink!

They aren’t thinking “Oh no I feel inferior because that big manly man isn’t letting imbibing a toxic substance and thus his anabolic hormone levels will remain sky-high.” They just want me to get fucked up like them and have some fun.

It’s the same thing when I distract my friend who is trying to maintain his 4.0 and try to get him to play video games with me. Am I being toxic? No, I just want him to have fun and then I let it go. On the other hand, if you have “friends” who are being mean-spirited and petty and who are seriously trying to sabotage you in some way, then you need to just remove yourself from them.

With all that said, having people that support your goals is absolutely vital. These should be the people closest to you. That is why the situation with the girlfriend is different. It may be just that she is insecure and maybe that is okay.

However, one of the reasons I’ve bounced around from relationship to relationship over the past few years is that I can’t imagine being in a serious relationship with somebody who doesn’t share some sort of goal (doesn’t have to necessarily be athletics) that she has intense determination and drive for. Since ambition and motivation are sorely lacking amongst people our age, this could be a problem but that’s something you gotta work out on your own.

[quote]StevenF wrote:
49ersFan81 wrote:

How do some of you deal with your partners families horrible eating habits? For example, you go to a family party/event/dinner/etc and all you find is macaroni salad, ribs, burgers, potato salad, chips, baked beans, etc.

Dude, if you’re passing up ribs and burgers you have some major problems. [/quote]

This is truth, what is wrong with ribs and ground beef?

sure ribs probably have to much sugar on them but they are freaking ribs! Just go train before the event and eat piles of ribs.

to the original poster what are your stats? I stopped getting as much shit about my lifestyle when people realized it works.

The last time I went out I had ONE beer by doing this it somehow made everyone thinking I had drank and NO ONE said said anything about me not drinking as they usually do. Even though I still only had 1 beer and didn’t have a drink in my hand for most of the night, I found that odd.

yeh ive dealt with this as i took 6 weeks off drinking and only started drinking cus my best friend is moving too another country too live and well ill admit my best times have been whilst drinking or in the gym

i copped a little, ill admit im not as out going when im not drinking but once he leaves 4 days its back too watching the diet and alcohol consumption