Guys I’m doing a good job when it comes to my career and lifting. There’s one thing I have not tackled to the fullest yet. This is probably the hardest one.
Dating. I’m not gonna ask for advice, cause I already got some. (Lmao I remember that thread). My problem is not putting myself out there. It’s just fear. I mean all I have to do is talk. It’s not rocket science. I keep getting this voice in my head that I’ll be wasting my time because it’s probably a good chance me and whoever won’t have common ground.
I lift weights religiously, major in construction management, watch anime, watch a ton of movies. I even occasionally read comics and play video games. Very male dominated activities.
Idk if this is normal or not but, if I can’t find some kind’ve common ground with someone, talking to them is going to feel like a chore to me.
If u do want to give me advice, tell me what I do not want to hear.
Much like how not every rep of every set needs to be the most perfectly executed rep of your life, not every conversation with every woman needs to be the most enlightening conversation of your life.
Full disclosure: I went from an all male high school to a co-ed university with 70% of the population being women. I wasn’t afraid to engage in dynamite fishing.
All I know is that deep down I would hate myself If I didn’t put myself out there in the dating world during college. This is like the perfect opportunity. So many pretty girls here too. So I guess this is one of those searching through the haystack to find the needle type of thing, correct?
About the only thing you can do is get out there and be your own crash test dummy. Talking to people can be chore, no doubt, but being able to talk to people you share little in common with is a valuable skill.
Just about every conversation will start out as small talk, which is something you’ll have to engage in all your life. When those conversations lead down more meaningful paths, you’ll start to encounter relationships or friendships.
Also a sure fire way to hang out with more girls is to be friends with girls. Much easier to find common ground with a friend than a partner.
Don’t get too hung up on hobbies, just go chat and let whatever happens happen.
One word of advice- be yourself, always. I’ve seen way too many friendships/relationships in turmoil when someone pretends to be someone they’re not. The charade will not last.
This is sound advice. What have you got to lose from chatting to some girls. If you don’t have anything in common you have practiced chatting and will get better at it. If you do then maybe you found a friend or something more.
It is a lot easier to make friends in your situation than trying to do it when you are an adult and move town or country like many of us on here have done. Getting good at talking to strangers whether that be boys or girls is a skill that will serve you in every area of your life going forward.
Telling me I don’t need to be doing so many squat sets and said I don’t need to be going so hard. Then he started teaching me how he squats for 5 reps and I don’t need to be doing so much and he said to find whats best for ur legs… blah… blah. I said squatting this much works for my legs.
Besides that I met a cool dude named jamar and I hyped him up while he pr’d with a 405 deadlift. He cool.
I’m really confused on why dudes trying to teach me stuff. It’s very bizarre. Hopefully more come tho. It’s kinda making my day. I have more stuff to tell u guys.
One of my favourite things to do in the gym is to people watch or get into conversations with random ppl. Most of the conversations end up being really nice, and sometimes extremely insightful
Some weird chick came over to me doing powercleans and asked if I could move to an open platform that didn’t have a squat rack because she feels more comfortable squatting on the one that’s on my platform. I was thinking in my head well It’s not like the barbell over there was loaded and I don’t have the much weight on the barbell so maybe I can be nice today. Then she said “you can say no it’s ok you got here”. I just said yeah Imma just stay here.
Dude u didn’t even give me time to answer….
Why bother asking me???
She was being polite, since she was asking you to inconvenience yourself, albeit not by much. Someone saying “you can say no” doesn’t mean you immediately say no. If I was doing power cleans, which don’t require a squat rack, and a girl, or anybody, looking to squat safely in a rack that they’re comfortable with, asked me politely to switch to an open platform, especially with a disclaimer that I can say no, I would always say yes.
Gotta learn to read between the lines a little here, bud. This will transfer over to the whole talking to women thing you mentioned again earlier.
