[quote]Spock81 wrote:
[quote]Consul wrote:
Get lots of fluid and protein, and listen to your body. A few days rest won’t derail the gain train :)[/quote]
HAHAH what a doctor thing to say of you ;)![/quote]
Someone has been doing some facebook stalking 
I don’t use a training program either; we’re bothing going to lifting Hell where Steve Pulcinella will roast us for eternity.
[quote]Spock81 wrote:
[quote]csulli wrote:
You need a training partner Spock![/quote]
Excellent, I will totally take you up on that! When is your flight !?[/quote]
Man I could fix a few of your issues.
[quote]Spock81 wrote:
[quote]Drake37 wrote:
[/quote]
#%#*@!!! I thought I just explained this!!
Okay, okay, here it goes, on the count of three I will snap my fingers and I will magically stop being an anxious/bi-polary/OCD mess of a human being. Ready?
One…
Two…
OMG SO XXCITING…
THREE !!
SNAP
…
Hmm…
Well, I don’t feel any different, but I am pretty sure that’s all it would take. 
OMG I AM SORRY! I Don’t mean to be a bitch, but I am honestly just so F$&#&$#&ing fed up with how my mind works that I can barely tolerate myself anymore and someone just telling me to stop doing something THAT I FUCKING HATE DOING, like I could just STOP and it would be so easy drives me mental.
LUV U STILL PLZ DON’T BE MAD[/quote]
Cmon now. You know me better than that. I’m not calling you out, or overlooking your problem. I get it and respect that. I am just saying that it has been proven time and time again that practice makes perfect.
I think you should start using “Patrick Bateman abs” again.
Love, Tyler
[quote]Spock81 wrote:
I am making an appointment with a shrink because I believe my life will not be sorted until I get my head straight.
[/quote]
This is great news. Talk to someone whose profession is to help people in your situation. All the comments in this thread are just advice from people with good intentions who have no idea at all what you’re feeling or how to help you.
Well now I can’t stop myself…like everyone’s been saying…we just want to help. I don’t expect anything from you from this but I have some things you can put in your brain that have helped me in the past in various stages of hardcore anxiety /training madness beating myself over disappointments I feel I had.
There are many people who have stopped squatting–stopped dead lifting whatever,-for a long period of time…came back to it stronger. Maybe you’re in a rut that your body can’t get you out of and your brain is freaking so its no help just circling in a cycle of deed, dispair, and disappointment.
You don’t have to squat a lot to get better at it. There are many way to get results! Maybe some time off it concentrating on things that make you feel positive and less trapped in a zone of unmoving gains will boost your confidence and when you come back to it it’ll be less of a stress. It takes discipline to NOT do things sometimes… Or swap up to a movement you don’t normally do so the stress to get better is not so high.
I would like to say also --cut yourself some slack. A crisis of confidence is not a easy thing to just forget and put on the shelf so you can get all amped up to train–its a foundational problem that pretty much takes over everything. You are doing remarkable well for what you experience and combat on a day to day basis. Saying that I STILL think you are a killer with the wt’s. You ARE!
UPDATE:
Powerlifting and I had a long talk last night and he promised he wouldn’t beat me anymore if I promised to stop acting like a psychotic bitch. We’ve had our ups and downs, but we really are very happy together you know? Someday we’ll be wed.
So yesterday instead of bumming around like a moron being miserable about my squat I decided to be proative and watch Mark bell videos until my eyes went cross-eyed. KNOWLEDGE IS MY GREATEST TOOL IN BECOMING STRONGER.
I found a really good stretch that will help keep my back more upright when I get deep into the hole and a number of various form tips, etc…
I went into the gym today feeling very hopeful, BUT also remembering that that past flu I had was one of the very worst flu’s I’ve ever had in my entire life, and I truly believe it has affected my strength a great deal. I know my max is well below what it was a month ago. So no pressure, and no frustration!!
I am going to try and go back to my broz inspired routine for as long as I can because I really enjoy it and it’s the strongest my squat has ever been. I am not promising that I wont freak out at some point, but it’s never too late to try and change. 
Today’s workout went very well:
Squats
95 x 5
115 x 5
135 x 3
145 x 2
155 x 1
165 x 1
belt
175 x 1
180 x 1
belt off
5 count paused squats
135 x 3 sets of 2
135 x 3 sets of 3
cleans to press
65 x 5
75 x 3
85 x 1
90 x 1
90 x 1
70 x 3 sets of 2
70 x 3 sets of 3
DB rows
35lbs
2 x 15/arm
back ext.
10lbs behind head
2 x 10
body weight
x 10
plate side bends
35lbs
2 x 12/side
So squat form felt really good today, there was one set where my descent was a little too fast so my knees got a bit cavey, but then I slowed it down and I had no knee cavey issues, even during slow reps my knees stayed good, so yay.
OH, now I don’t know if anyone knows who this is, except that sam mcelllean guy who used to post here, but I was one of the first people to pre order a copy of seasick steve’s latest album so I GET A SIGNED ONE!!! That means a famous music person will have phsycailly touched something I own!!
Not only that, but think about this…
Seasick steve and jack white are good buddies so I am sure they have done some sort of like handshakey, bro’s for life kinda touching. That means seasick steve’s hand, THAT HAS BEEN TOUCHED BY JACK WHITE’S HAND, will have touched something that I own.
WWWWWHEEEEEEEEEE
KBYE
[quote]Spock81 wrote:
95 x 8
115 x 8
135 x 8
145 x 3
155 x 2
165 x 1
Now maybe I should state that 165 was truly my max. I could not have lifted one more pound than that. It was slow/face explodey. SO “just adding weight to the bar” might not help me if I CANNOT PHYSCIALLY FUCKING LIFT THE WEIGHT.[/quote]
[quote]Spock81 wrote:
Squats
95 x 5
115 x 5
135 x 3
145 x 2
155 x 1
165 x 1
175 x 1
180 x 1
[/quote]
You’re doin it! Hooray!
[quote]csulli wrote:
[quote]Spock81 wrote:
95 x 8
115 x 8
135 x 8
145 x 3
155 x 2
165 x 1
Now maybe I should state that 165 was truly my max. I could not have lifted one more pound than that. It was slow/face explodey. SO “just adding weight to the bar” might not help me if I CANNOT PHYSCIALLY FUCKING LIFT THE WEIGHT.[/quote]
[quote]Spock81 wrote:
Squats
95 x 5
115 x 5
135 x 3
145 x 2
155 x 1
165 x 1
175 x 1
180 x 1
[/quote]
You’re doin it! Hooray![/quote]
LOL AHHAH that must have taken you so long to copy and paste all fancy smancy!!
I was wearing a belt though :P:P:P:P:P
I still think you can total 700.
Hey hey hey!
Front squats
95 x 5
105 x 3
115 x 3
125 x 1
135 x 1
140 x 1
145 x 1
105 x 3 sets of 2
105 x 3 sets of 3
Deadlifts
185 x 2
195 x 2 sets of 2
200 x 2 sets of 2
205 x 2
210 x 2 sets of 2
chin ups
5, 4, 4, 4
back ext
1 x 25
mat ab circuit thingie
Good.
Really pleased with the fact that my front squat is only about 10lbs less than it was when I was front squatting every other day.
Ummm, what else…
Nothing really.
I am working out at a different gym, my old new gym. Not my old, old gym. My old new gym.
The one that is like just a small room with some good shit and it’s almost always empty, but when it’s not empty you end up talking to who ever else is in there cause it’s such a small area it would be weird not to.
So there’s this boy and this old dude talking and I’m in there squattin’, aNd the young dude is talking about how his dad is in the army and his mom is a CSI. So I’m thinking “fucking cool CSI!!!”
Then he starts talking about hippo’s being his favorite aninmal, and how he watches hippo videos, and one time saw this one video where a hippo bit the head off a lion.
I am thinking “fucking cool, I watch hippo video’s all the time!!!”
One time I saw a video where a hippo chased away a rhino like it was nothin’.
Back the fuck off Rhino.
Rhino was all like
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
So then this boy says if med school doesn’t work out he would like to get a job working with animals.
I am thinking “wow, med school, likes hippo’s, and his mom is a csi. This kid must be livin’ the dream life”
He’s probably all smart and shit.
So then the old dude is like
“young lady what is your name?”
I was like
“Jenn”
He’s like
“Hi Jan, you’re real strong, blah blah blah”
So then I have to shake young dudes hand cause it was kinda like old dude was being young dude’s wing man or something.
“This over here is Neil”
{Young dude}
So it was all like
“Sup?”
So then we just talk and shit and whatever.
That’s the end of the story, sorry no climax…
Maybe it will progress though, maybe it’s a novel that’s barely begun.
Or maybe we’ll never talk again…
K
BYE
[quote]Spock81 wrote:
So then the old dude is like
“young lady what is your name?”
I was like
“Jenn”
He’s like
“Hi Jan, you’re real strong, blah blah blah”[/quote]
LOL
Nice work chicka!! And good on you for keeping at it when your mind is not cooperating! Thats half the battle!
Also the flu does take a LOT out of you and you have to rebuild. You are totally right.
[quote]coyotegal wrote:
Nice work chicka!! And good on you for keeping at it when your mind is not cooperating! Thats half the battle!
[/quote]
Hey yo! Thanks dudette!
Hidy ho
Squats
95 x 6
115 x 5
135 x 3
145 x 3
155 x 1
165 x 1
belt
175 x 1
180 x 1
180 x 1
belt off
5 count paused squats
140 x 3 sets of 2
135 x 3 sets of 3
Bench
95 x 6
105 x 3
115 x 3
120 x 1
125 x 1
130 x 1
115 x 3 sets of 2
115 x 3 sets of 3
All reps paused for a really long time
Facepulls
2 x 25
Cable ropey abs
1 x 50
Well, fine and dandy.
<>
BYE
This log has gone far too long without a picture or video.
[quote]scj119 wrote:
This log has gone far too long without a picture or video.[/quote]
Ha! You’re right…
Here’s is a picture of the greatest love of my life, my baby, my prince, my best friend, my snoop dogg.
yo, yo, yo, yo, yo
YYYYOOOOO!!!
Front squats
95 x 5
105 x 3
115 x 3
125 x 1
135 x 1
140 x 1
145 x 1
Felt wayyy easier than last time !
110 x 3 sets of 2
105 x 3 sets of 3
deadlifts
185 x 2
195 x 2
200 x 2
205 x 2
210 x 3 sets of 2
215 x 2
NG pull ups
4, 4, 4
back ext
2 x 12
bunch O’ curls.
K good, felt strong.
Might go do cardio with my mommy later since she wants to get into goin’ to the gym, but isn’t up early enough to come with me in the am :O!
I was thinking about something I wanted to type about when I woke up this morning… HmMmMM…
Oh yes, my “who I’d fuck list”.
I want to add Louis CK.
So now it’s like
Anthony Kiedis
Robert Downey JR whOM I want to change to just tony stark. I don’t want to fuck robert himself, but I do want to fuck tony stark.
JW:Gym edition
Louis CK
Now, I know what you’re thinking (maybe), eww, Louis CK? He’s like 50, bald, and fat.
But he’s funny in a “let’s joke about masturbation” sorta way. He also seems bitter and I like that because I am bitter.
I have fucked fat people, and I have fucked scrawny people.
Well, I guess I should say fat people have fucked me, and scrawny people have fucked me.
A good looking person, however, has never fucked me.
I think I would sooner fuck a Louis CK than like a male stripper or a soap opera star. They just don’t do it for me.
Except Anthony, his beauty is like a wonderous miracle. How anyone could have been born so perfect looking is beyond me.
Anyway, other than that…
UMMM
I forget my point.
Oh ya, my ideal male body type is Anton Chigurh. He’s like big, but his muscles aren’t all perfectly outlined and he still looks strong.
I like fat guys who have muscles underneath their fat.
I really do not think I actually have a point.
I guess I could add anton chigurh to my list.
Anthony Kiedis
Tony Stark
JW:Gym edition
Louis CK
Anton Chigurh
In that order…
…
Except reverse Louis CK with JW:gym edtion.
I’d rather fuck Louis cause I think we have a lot in common. I should try to tweet to him later.
BYE
Louis CK is totally in your range. Tweet him.
Fat guys with muscle… Do you like Zydrunas Savickas? He is the epitome of that.
Louis CK is a pretty funny dude. I love how awkward his relationships on his show are.
HIEHYHELLOYO
Squats
95 x 6
115 x 5
135 x 3
145 x 3
155 x 1
170 x 1
belt
175 x 1
185 x 1 <–Ugly-ish
Belt off
5 count paused squats
140 x 2 sets of 2
145 x 2
140 x 3 sets of 3
did a few more singles after
155 x 1
165 x 1
belt
180 x 1
cleans to press
65 x 5
75 x 3
85 x 1
90 x 1
95 x 1
70 x 3 sets of 3
75 x 3 sets of 2
lat pull down drop sets then ramped back up so like 8 sets or something, i dunno.
plate side bends
25lbs
1 x 30/side
back ext. x 25
K pretty good.
I dunno any life news really.
Gotta pretty good collection of nerf guns comin’ along.
So I gotta couple and my kid has a couple and mine are outta bullets so I run down into my room grabbing some off the floor along the way. I figured my room would be a “safe” place to reload, but I ran outta time and my kid came in. So I hid behind my bed trying to get myself another minute, godamn double barrel shotgun takes SoooOOooO long to reload. My kid could have very easly come behind the bed, trapped me, and fired non-stop, but he thinks it’s a better idea to hide behind my full length mirror and shoot at me from a distance.
I am thinking WTF, what a horrible strategy, he’s in such an awkward place. Then I am like OMG! If I duck and cover and move real fast I could just run the hell outta here while he’s tapped behind my mirror.
So my heart starts pounding with excitment like, “will I make it!!!” I hesistate no longer and grab my shit and GO GO GO GO !!!
My kids all liek “AHHH MOMMY!!! NO!!!” Trying to wiggle his way out from beind the mirror. His gun gets stuck in the process so he can’t do jack shit really, LOl. He was so fucking pissed. I made it out safe and sound, but it truly was a very thrilling moment for me.
Um ya, so that’s all, heh.
BYE
