In 2005 I was ranked # 5 by Powerlifting USA in the bench. 220lb weight class / Master’s. Ranked that same year # 46 overall in the 220lb class Open (all age’s). My wife left me (for good reason I guess). I started doing cocaine for the 1st time in my life at 43 years of age (upwards of 8 grams / week, which also fueled excessive drinking…I stopped working out almost altogether.
I almost killed a young man in a fight (which I did not start—not that it makes a difference), almost lost a great job, and ended up in a Drug and Alcohol Clinic for three weeks…almost got kicked out of there too. My kids are afraid of me…and my wife wants a divorce.
WHAT A FUCKED UP MESS I HAVE BECOME.
So, the road back from hell will start Monday as I get back into training. It would be great to get some support from all on the board. I have been a member here since it’s inception, but have not posted in several months. Gonna post my workouts to fuel my desire.
I wish you success with your recovery from addiction, a hopeful reuniting with your family, strength from your training and the courage to face all of these head on. Stay focused and remember where you once were and how you don’t want to be there again.
You have a long road ahead of you and you can get back maybe most of what you lost again if you really want it. Have humility with those that you have hurt. It’s going to be a long process, but it’s achievable.
Here’s wishing you the best of luck. It takes a helluva lot of guts to put that out into public.
Everybody - absolutely EVERYBODY, fucks up eventually. Admitting it is hard. Learning from it is harder. Fixing it is beyond hard. Most people can’t deal with the time, the self-sacrifice and the effort it takes to fix a big fuckup, they just cut and run. But I believe the measure of a man is how he deals with his own mistakes.
I’m sure I’m not alone in saying you already have my respect regardless for coming out with this as well as for your achievements in powerlifting;
I hope it will change to outright admiration as you get your life and lifting in order.
Again, best of luck.
Damien
Everybody - absolutely EVERYBODY, fucks up eventually. Admitting it is hard. Learning from it is harder. Fixing it is beyond hard. Most people can’t deal with the time, the self-sacrifice and the effort it takes to fix a big fuckup, they just cut and run. But I believe the measure of a man is how he deals with his own mistakes.
[/quote]
Yep, what he said.
All the best in your recovery, time to get back on the straight and narrow.
Forgot to the thank my best friend in the PL community. Funny how your mind get’s fucked by drugs. The people that matter to you most are mentioned as an afterthought.
“Tarzan” (Monkeyman)…some of you may know him from the other boards. He stood by me through it all…spotted me at my meets and supported me as a friend should.
Nice to see you posting again, and that you’re on the path to a better life. Stay focused on what’s important in your life, make those your priorities, and your life will get better. Getting back to lifting should help too. Best of luck to you!
“How do you do things like this to yourself?” You don’t realize how screwed up you are until you have hit bottom. I have. Best of luck with your return to training…back injuries are the worst.
[quote]stallion wrote:
I am coming back from hell myself - but not to the extent as you. I had a lower back injury, and are now back to training.
Man - how the hell can you do things like this to yourself?
Well - start working out again, find a woman and treat her with love.