I punched a lemur that was flying through the air at me once. Not even joking.
Had landlords with a zoo at their house. Among many other things they had a lemur, java monkey and a tamarin. They would invite us over to dinner a few times a year. One evening the lemur decided to go for a walk around the woods.
So the guy goes “want to help me catch him?” “What’s involved?” “Walk around the woods with an open beer and call his name. Get him into the cage by offering him the beer.” It worked.
Later we’re eating dinner and this damn thing is leaping through the rafters in their dining room. Jumps to the floor and punched me in the thigh. “Don’t worry,” says the guy. “He’s testing you. Next time he tries something hit him hard and he’ll cut it out.”
Later we’re at his bar drinking scotch and the damn thing leaps on top of the fridge and jumps like he’s headed toward my face. I barely had time to get my guard up and drill him with a right cross. He left me alone after that.
I echo @brady888 's sentiment. Primates are everything that’s wrong with humans plus stupid strength. They have a type of muscle fiber we don’t. I wouldn’t fight a chimp with anything less than a 12 gauge.
I just got home from two nights away and was excited when I got home to see my lil scissor beaked Silkie run right at me. I imagine that’s what it’s like to be a dad. Moments like this make me wonder if i want kids or if I’m happy raising a few chickens.
I just spent the evening taking turns pushing a prowler with my elementary and middle school aged girls. Hella strong. Them not me. That feels pretty good. The daily drama doesn’t, but it’s well worth it.
Ive read that the difference between hundan and chinp strength lies in motor control. Humans have ultra-fine dexterity which lets us play instruments, perform surgey, etc. But other primstes dint have this control. When they move, all of their muscles just fire. Like a sniper rifle vs a shotgun.
Anyone watch monkey world with the later Jim Cronin and his wife. The handlers occasionally go in with them , at their peril . But they have raised from babies. Chimps can literally tear off limbs effortlessly.
I can’t believe anyone should be allowed to keep one as a pet. Apparently she was too , as I recall it.
An often left out part of that story is that the chimp was on drugs. They were actually giving the thing xanax or Valium or some other such craziness.
This always reminds me of my old buddy. He was 220 lbs. of steroids and cocaine, coupled with being a bona-fide psychopath. One night at a bar he popped a bunch of xanax among other things. A little while later, after putting a cigarette out on some girls face, the cops came. In force. There were like 6 or 8 of them and Frank was just beating the shit out of all of them. They were beating him with everything they had- sticks, flashlights, taking turns, everything- and he didn’t even flinch. He just had this glazed over look as he kept throwing punch after punch. Finally he just quit hitting them and let them put the cuffs on. Later on he said that he just got tired of hitting them.
Later in life, shortly after the chimp thing, I was talking to a friend of mine that is an anesthesiologist and asked him about why some people go ballistic from that type of drug. The short version is it shuts down some really important parts of your brain. Having seen a few incidents of people just going batshit form xanax it has puzzled me as to why anybody would give it to a chimp.
Anyways, If I ever do fight a chimp, I want it to be in a tested federation. Not just some random throw down or street brawl. That would just be begging for an ass kicking.
Deuche bags everywhere at the gym today. Teenieboppers swarming from one place to the next. So I’m warming up for squats, and a group of three 18 or so year olds start stockpiling all the 45lb bumpers. I look over at one of them and say ‘dude, leave some for me.’ I mean, just get what you need when you need it. Kid says ‘I’m going for a pr today.’ I laugh it off under my breath and continue warming up.
Needless to say I had to break out my calculator on my phone to add up the sides of the barbell because it was full of 10, 15, 25 and 35lb bumpers along with 5 and 10lb normal plates. ANNOYING.