I was doing push-ups with my feet elevated on the edge of a bench for the first time. After I did my last rep, I thought I’d show off how perky I still was by kicking into a tuck position and ending with a burpee.
You know how every action has an equal and opposite reaction? As I kicked into my tuck, the bench tipped over and skidded across the floor a few feet until it whacked noisily into the Smith Machine. Very smooth!
when i first started lifting at school i had the occasional failed squat smashing weights all around and getting snickering looks, but so far the most stupid thing i did was punch my punching bag holding ten pound dumbbells.
i was under the impression this would increase my speed and strengh when i punched but i did it all wrong. I held the bag with my right hand and punched with my left. Longstory short, i punched my thumb with the dumbell chipping my finger and having to get a brace on my thumb.
When we were about 15 years old, my best friend and I read somewhere that the Bulgarians trained twice a day, so we decided that WE were going to train twice a day.
Every day before and after school we lifted. We knew NOTHING about periodization and were lifting as heavy as we could, like 95-99% 1RM, because we figured that’s what the Bulgarians were doing. We also guessed, in our teenage wisdom, that they were probably working out for 2-3 hours for each workout as well, so we would do THAT too (back then whatever weird information we got our hands on in magazines and hear-say was good enough for us).
By the end of the second week, we were skipping school to eat and sleep for a couple hours in-between the am and pm workouts. And by the end of the 3rd week we weren’t even going to school. We were probably sleeping about 16 hours a day and training for 6. I was so tired and sore that I’d go right into bed after working out in my sweaty clothes.
Mercifully, the school called our parents sometime into the 4th week, wondering where we’d been for over 2 weeks. That put a stop to the self-inflicted torture. Ironicly, we were suspended for a week for skipping school (which we spent sleeping and eating).
Fuuny thing was, my best friend lost 15 lbs. and I gained 15 lbs. that month. And we didn’t go back to the gym for about 3 months afterwards.
We still laugh about that time in our lives.
[quote]austin_bicep wrote:
i was under the impression this would increase my speed and strengh when i punched but i did it all wrong. I held the bag with my right hand and punched with my left. Longstory short, i punched my thumb with the dumbell chipping my finger and having to get a brace on my thumb. [/quote]
You win!
My brother and I used to take turns kicking each other in the abdominals, (guy being kicked would get on all down on all fours), and we also used to hang from a chin up bar and punch each other in the abdominals. Awesome stuff.
I was on a powerlifting platform attempting a hang clean. Unbeknownst to me, someone had switched the Oly bar with a regular barbell.
Needless to say, when I went to drop my hands under the bar, the bar didn’t spin. What happened was I ended up pulling the bar in a half circle motion towards my face, and clocked myself in the nose.
I don’t think I’ve ever bled that much before.
EDIT:
This actually happened on monday. I went down to the pocket in a front squat. To be honest, I’m not sure what happened. All of a sudden I just fell straight back on my ass. Thankfully I tossed the bar off in time.
[quote]Jelly Roll wrote:
When we were about 15 years old, my best friend and I read somewhere that the Bulgarians trained twice a day, so we decided that WE were going to train twice a day.
Every day before and after school we lifted. We knew NOTHING about periodization and were lifting as heavy as we could, like 95-99% 1RM, because we figured that’s what the Bulgarians were doing. We also guessed, in our teenage wisdom, that they were probably working out for 2-3 hours for each workout as well, so we would do THAT too (back then whatever weird information we got our hands on in magazines and hear-say was good enough for us).
By the end of the second week, we were skipping school to eat and sleep for a couple hours in-between the am and pm workouts. And by the end of the 3rd week we weren’t even going to school. We were probably sleeping about 16 hours a day and training for 6. I was so tired and sore that I’d go right into bed after working out in my sweaty clothes.
Mercifully, the school called our parents sometime into the 4th week, wondering where we’d been for over 2 weeks. That put a stop to the self-inflicted torture. Ironicly, we were suspended for a week for skipping school (which we spent sleeping and eating).
Fuuny thing was, my best friend lost 15 lbs. and I gained 15 lbs. that month. And we didn’t go back to the gym for about 3 months afterwards.
We still laugh about that time in our lives. [/quote]
I love this story. Nothing about it seems dumb to me at all! Sounds like you made excellent gains. You could start a thread, give it a nice Russian name like Smolov and try and remember the routines! Doc
[quote]Jelly Roll wrote:
When we were about 15 years old, my best friend and I read somewhere that the Bulgarians trained twice a day, so we decided that WE were going to train twice a day.
Every day before and after school we lifted. We knew NOTHING about periodization and were lifting as heavy as we could, like 95-99% 1RM, because we figured that’s what the Bulgarians were doing. We also guessed, in our teenage wisdom, that they were probably working out for 2-3 hours for each workout as well, so we would do THAT too (back then whatever weird information we got our hands on in magazines and hear-say was good enough for us).
By the end of the second week, we were skipping school to eat and sleep for a couple hours in-between the am and pm workouts. And by the end of the 3rd week we weren’t even going to school. We were probably sleeping about 16 hours a day and training for 6. I was so tired and sore that I’d go right into bed after working out in my sweaty clothes.
Mercifully, the school called our parents sometime into the 4th week, wondering where we’d been for over 2 weeks. That put a stop to the self-inflicted torture. Ironicly, we were suspended for a week for skipping school (which we spent sleeping and eating).
Fuuny thing was, my best friend lost 15 lbs. and I gained 15 lbs. that month. And we didn’t go back to the gym for about 3 months afterwards.
We still laugh about that time in our lives. [/quote]
Yeah… I was going to say this sounds prety cool. Shit if I had a training partner that would do this I would give it a shot.
one day I was doing push press’s in the gym and I had a hard time on the 4th rep, and decided to go for the 5th rep, and I almost locked it out and it fell back down and hit my thigh right above my knee. Bruised it terribly and was out for at least 2 weeks because I got sick the day after (presumably from the injury). One of the dumbest things I’ve done.
This was about 2 hours ago: I got done with lifting at my school’s weight room, and after my shower realized that I had locked the combination to my check-out lock inside the locker and also had forgotten the combination. After vainly trying for 10 minutes to get the thing unlocked, I got a guy to go to the from desk to get some help from the staff, and the staff guy came in and helped me get the thing unlocked. I felt really dignified standing in the locker room with nothing but a towel looking like an idiot to everyone, pigheadedly struggling to get the thing undone. I feel soooo smart right now.
This happened yesterday:
I get done with ME Lower and I’m lightheaded as all heck. I stagger to my locker (they are in the public area) in my daze and begin to remove my shorts.
THankfully, I caught myself at about knee depth.
AD
I get to put two dumb stories in since I started this thread.
Back in my second year of college, I trained at this small, dingy gym where only big, serious lifters trained and anybody who was strong got a nickname. There was this guy, a rival of mine who was the same height and weight, but all of his weight was upper body and neck, with a small pointy head. His nickname was “Lizard,” and they called me “Elephant.” Anyway, one day, he was struggling with trying to deadlift 500 lbs. He could barely move the bar, and was switching conventional to sumo to straight leg, just lost. I was in the squat rack next to him, doing curls (no just kidding), and I said to him, “Lizard, you’re such a pussy, I could deadlift that with one hand.” Lizard could outbench me by a hundred, so he was real pissed at this. He said “Elephant, if you can do that, I’ll load your weights for a month, if you can’t, you load mine.” Deal. So I go to the platform, and proceed to somehow deadlift that sucker with my right hand.
The only problem was, in the process, I tore every muscle on the left side of my thorax, including all those little suckers called serratus, intercostals, and some I didnt know. I was so messed up I couldn’t lift for nearly a month and Lizard weaseled out of the loading my weights deal as a result. Doc
[quote]Dr.PowerClean wrote:
This is good shit, guys. Keep it coming. I think after a certain period of time, we could vote for the Best Dumb Weight Training Act, and the winner could get a free maxipad for squatting.
So far, imo, its a close call between the muscle up resulting in "electrocuted monkey" and the muscle up resulting in a close encounter with celing tiles. lol Doc[/quote]
Close? I lifted the tile up and was neck-deep “in” the ceiling, looking at wires. That’s where the dust that almost kiled me was at.
-chris
All my gym shorts were in the wash, so I decided to wear a fairly loose pair of cargo shorts to the gym. At the bottom of a heavy squat, both the cargo shorts AND my boxers ripped straight up the middle. The sound of the cloth ripping was really loud, so I’m sure a lot of people saw it. I wasn’t all that embarrassed, but I felt sorry for the women who had to witness my ass at the bottom of a squat. Now I wear the stretchy UA boxer-briefs to avoid further incidents.
This one was pretty dumb and resulted in a nice little imjury:
So I had been rowing for three years at this point and my back was slightly hurting. Being as thick headed as I am I thought it was nothing and just loaded up on Tiger Balm every day. Oh yea you know the ladies love that smell!!
So I go for a ME squat day at my university gym. I work my way up to about 340 or so in the squat rack, of course without a spotter.
I step back and begin to lower myself when WHAM my lower back goes out just as I reached the bottom. My knee buckle from the pain and I start falling. As I go down I’m thinking thank God I’m in the rack and since I was already in the hole the weight wont fall too far.
Nope not so fast smarty, I had stepped outside of the rack for some unknown reason. The weight goes crashing to the floor behind me and i’m laying there on the ground flat as a pancake.
Needless to say everyone was starring at me and worst of all I was like a tutrle on it’s back, I just couldn’t get up. My back had locked up so someone came by and pulled me to my feet while my back remained perfectly straight.
Oops. No more squating for a year!
That and last week I was putting the 110lb DB’s back on the rack and THOUGHT they were in their slots. Well one wasn’t and crushed my finger between it and the rack. My finger started bleeding and about 4 people saw it.
I tried to at cool and kept lifting so they wouldn’t point and laugh haha and of course I made sure no blood got on any of the equipment!
[quote]Avocado wrote:
Dr.PowerClean wrote:
This is good shit, guys. Keep it coming. I think after a certain period of time, we could vote for the Best Dumb Weight Training Act, and the winner could get a free maxipad for squatting.
So far, imo, its a close call between the muscle up resulting in "electrocuted monkey" and the muscle up resulting in a close encounter with celing tiles. lol Doc
Close? I lifted the tile up and was neck-deep “in” the ceiling, looking at wires. That’s where the dust that almost kiled me was at.
-chris[/quote]
All right, Chris, the added details won me over. You’re in the lead for the “Jackass Gym Act” award. Doc
was doing some rack pulls a couple weeks ago…405 on the bar and i unloaded the entire left side first, you know what happens next. cracked up the edge of the platform because its so close to the power rack. at least no injury came of it
I was doing seated dumbbell shoulder presses recently with 65s when my arms gave out. I thought that I could bring them back under control but my left arm couldn’t do much to stop the decent. I basically dropped it right onto my thigh and gave myself a wicked charlie horse instead of dropping it to the ground like I should have.
A couple weeks ago, we were doing reverse band squats which was new to me. On one of the sets, I halfway missed the right hook and when I let go, that side came off and the bar smacked me in the back of the head. If the bands hadn’t been there I probably would have taken my head off.
And those are just two recent ones in a long list of gym idiocy.
Stupidest thing I have ever done, well I bought the power hooks, you know the ones that make it so you can rack dumbells on a regular bench so you can start them from the top. Well I drag the 110’s over to the smith machine so I can rack them and as soon as I unrack those bastards, I cant fucken control them! They are going every where and I end up just droping them.
Lucky for me there was alot of people in the gym watching me with my new power hooks, I felt so cool!
[quote]Dr.PowerClean wrote:
Jelly Roll wrote:
When we were about 15 years old, my best friend and I read somewhere that the Bulgarians trained twice a day, so we decided that WE were going to train twice a day.
Every day before and after school we lifted. We knew NOTHING about periodization and were lifting as heavy as we could, like 95-99% 1RM, because we figured that’s what the Bulgarians were doing. We also guessed, in our teenage wisdom, that they were probably working out for 2-3 hours for each workout as well, so we would do THAT too (back then whatever weird information we got our hands on in magazines and hear-say was good enough for us).
By the end of the second week, we were skipping school to eat and sleep for a couple hours in-between the am and pm workouts. And by the end of the 3rd week we weren’t even going to school. We were probably sleeping about 16 hours a day and training for 6. I was so tired and sore that I’d go right into bed after working out in my sweaty clothes.
Mercifully, the school called our parents sometime into the 4th week, wondering where we’d been for over 2 weeks. That put a stop to the self-inflicted torture. Ironicly, we were suspended for a week for skipping school (which we spent sleeping and eating).
Fuuny thing was, my best friend lost 15 lbs. and I gained 15 lbs. that month. And we didn’t go back to the gym for about 3 months afterwards.
We still laugh about that time in our lives.
I love this story. Nothing about it seems dumb to me at all! Sounds like you made excellent gains. You could start a thread, give it a nice Russian name like Smolov and try and remember the routines! Doc
[/quote]
Haha, thanks for the compliments guys. I’d call it the “khromoy” (cripple) plan. But for real, it got pretty horrible after about the 9th day, and we were too stubborn to quit on each other. We made it to 26 days straight, and felt like 90 year olds. At least half of the gains were FAT (where do you think the name “jelly roll” came from?) for me, my best friend LOST muscle, and we were getting arthritis. AND we got really flu-sick on our week off afterwards.
But I guess at 15 years old, I could’ve been doing worse things with my time.